Let me say you are heading down a very slippery slope and you need to be extremely careful. London is right, the same basic principals of the hobby apply. First, my advice is to walk away from the FWB, which sounds much more like a serious affair and return to seeing providers. Didn't you see fatal attraction??? I am pretty sure none of the lovely ladies I have seen in the hobby were ever going to boil a bunny let alone contact wifey. When emotions get involved, and things don't work out, things can really blow up in your face. If you still insist on going down this path I recommend:
1) get a separate phone that never goes home or even left in your car; or
2) download one of the many texting/VoIP apps. These work through the internet and use your data plan and will not show up on your phone bill other than data usage. I use pinger. Use the app for texting and calling. Never use your actual phone. If wifey gets suspicious, the first place she may look is your phone and then the phone bill. If you are texting the same number a dozen times a day, you will have a lot of explaining to do.
3) Bury the app in a separate window among a bunch of other apps so it's not easy to find.
4) Turn off all notifications for that app.
5) Everyday, delete EVERY text and phone call. NEVER leave any text or call history.
Any tech gurus on here, I would appreciate any issues you see with what I have suggested.
Again, having been to the rodeo, let me warn you that this often ends with someone getting thrown off and hurt badly. My FWB was also married and it grew to something more serious quickly. When she got further ahead then me, it got to be quite challenging. Next, her hubby got suspicious. Do you think my FWB followed my advice on our communications??? Nope! He got suspicious, he got her phone and downloaded months of our texts. I haven't heard from her since and I pray to God I don't end up getting subpoenaed.
Be careful!
- Spartan
Posted By: joebunda90
Some serious questions for the hobbyist here.
I am in a relationship that has morphed into a real FWB situation. Yes we are both aware that it is not a lifelong thing, but we are open and honest with each other and plan to enjoy whatever time we have together.
My problem is this: we are sending many texts to each other every day. When I was just hobbying, a few extra texts a month to set up dates was not noticeable, but several thousand texts a month needs to be controlled. I need a non-SMS messenger that will provide DISCREET notification of a new message without displaying said message.
I am currently using NQ Vault to secure the content on my phone, but since that app still uses SMS the number shows up on my phone bill. I do not get a paper bill, but the evidence is not terribly difficult to dig up. I have looked at using Google Voice for texts, but if you set notifications on you get the content of the text in the notification bar on your phone (even with GV set behind Vault).
I would rather not get another phone, but unless the folks here that are smarter than I am can offer a technology solution I may have to do that (and deal with the new issue of hiding a second phone).
Thanks
JB