Call the day of for the hotel/incall and get to know each other, and a text for the exact location. That's a rap.
Some serious questions for the hobbyist here.
I am in a relationship that has morphed into a real FWB situation. Yes we are both aware that it is not a lifelong thing, but we are open and honest with each other and plan to enjoy whatever time we have together.
My problem is this: we are sending many texts to each other every day. When I was just hobbying, a few extra texts a month to set up dates was not noticeable, but several thousand texts a month needs to be controlled. I need a non-SMS messenger that will provide DISCREET notification of a new message without displaying said message.
I am currently using NQ Vault to secure the content on my phone, but since that app still uses SMS the number shows up on my phone bill. I do not get a paper bill, but the evidence is not terribly difficult to dig up. I have looked at using Google Voice for texts, but if you set notifications on you get the content of the text in the notification bar on your phone (even with GV set behind Vault).
I would rather not get another phone, but unless the folks here that are smarter than I am can offer a technology solution I may have to do that (and deal with the new issue of hiding a second phone).
Thanks
JB
If you are sending & receiving thousands of text per month, you probably don't need the notice feature for google. Just check text messages when you have a spare moment, or better yet, check with your wife in your spare moments! lol
I do it on weekends or when I just don't feel like working. Go into the settings, and just turn off push notifications, as well as go into Do Not Disturb so you have to go into the app to check them.
I am in a relationship that has morphed into a real FWB situation. Yes we are both aware that it is not a lifelong thing, but we are open and honest with each other and plan to enjoy whatever time we have together.
My problem is this: we are sending many texts to each other every day. When I was just hobbying, a few extra texts a month to set up dates was not noticeable, but several thousand texts a month needs to be controlled. I need a non-SMS messenger that will provide DISCREET notification of a new message without displaying said message.
I am currently using NQ Vault to secure the content on my phone, but since that app still uses SMS the number shows up on my phone bill. I do not get a paper bill, but the evidence is not terribly difficult to dig up. I have looked at using Google Voice for texts, but if you set notifications on you get the content of the text in the notification bar on your phone (even with GV set behind Vault).
I would rather not get another phone, but unless the folks here that are smarter than I am can offer a technology solution I may have to do that (and deal with the new issue of hiding a second phone).
Thanks
JB
Just get TWO phones. Done deal. ONLY give your hobby/burner number to providers so the FWB chick will never see them. Keep the phone at your office, in a locker at the gym, etc. It's not rocket science. You should not ever be using your main phone (the one in your REAL name) for illegal pursuits in any case, Forget about the woman... there are far worse things to worry about.
Another option is to sign up for google voice but do NOT download/connect the app for your cell phone. You log into an actual email account on your PC and that is how you check and send messages. When you log out, nothing to worry about.
-- Modified on 12/16/2013 4:59:27 PM
At least that's the way I read his post. As to your other reply below, it's the FWB he's getting thousands of texts from, not providers.
Well, my advice is still the same be it hooker or FWB he is hiding. Get another phone for just that purpose, or get google voice. His wife can easily get a copy of his phone bill. Sure, it's against the law and all, but try blowing the cell phone carrier and see what info. he comes up with.
She sounds crazy.
in this case F could stand for Feckless.
IMO Joe or his gal pal, is looking to sabotage the already established relationship.
You don't have enough feck.
I think that would be the easiest thing to do.
Call the day of for the hotel/incall and get to know each other, and a text for the exact location. That's a rap.
Not having any unnecessary communications with the other party. Other than scheduling a rendezvous.
sounds like the friends thing is out of hand, not the benefits. she really wants to be friends, even more than a wife
He said "We" several times so it seems like THEIR texting is realty a lot. No where does he say he wants it to change, he's asking how to hide it.
Steph
All they have to do is stop the excessive texting.
...if their electronic communications are the highlight of their relationship, what's the point?
We also slept together about six nights out of the week. So the two are not mutually exclusive.
I also text about a half dozen different hookers in Costa Rica on a pretty regular basis, of course the difference with me is that I have no reason to need to hide it.
I pointed out that he considered it a "we" thing and people were responding like SHE was doing something he didn't like.
I way some people text message each other today is CRAZY to me, but that wasn't what he was asking about.
Steph
You can disable displaying text when phone is asleep on iPhone
I am sure you do the same in android also.
I have disabled displaying texts on my iPhone.
I am in a relationship that has morphed into a real FWB situation. Yes we are both aware that it is not a lifelong thing, but we are open and honest with each other and plan to enjoy whatever time we have together.
My problem is this: we are sending many texts to each other every day. When I was just hobbying, a few extra texts a month to set up dates was not noticeable, but several thousand texts a month needs to be controlled. I need a non-SMS messenger that will provide DISCREET notification of a new message without displaying said message.
I am currently using NQ Vault to secure the content on my phone, but since that app still uses SMS the number shows up on my phone bill. I do not get a paper bill, but the evidence is not terribly difficult to dig up. I have looked at using Google Voice for texts, but if you set notifications on you get the content of the text in the notification bar on your phone (even with GV set behind Vault).
I would rather not get another phone, but unless the folks here that are smarter than I am can offer a technology solution I may have to do that (and deal with the new issue of hiding a second phone).
Thanks
JB
If you are getting bucket loads of texts... this is no longer a FWB. This is an affair with feelings & emotions. This is a line we stay away from by hobbying. This is far more dangerous. Far more likely to be discovered. Ask Tiger!!
I don't know how to help you as I'm just using a dumb hobby phone. I'm also reading that you have a SO & this FWB. You've got to get this under control & quickly.
Let me say you are heading down a very slippery slope and you need to be extremely careful. London is right, the same basic principals of the hobby apply. First, my advice is to walk away from the FWB, which sounds much more like a serious affair and return to seeing providers. Didn't you see fatal attraction??? I am pretty sure none of the lovely ladies I have seen in the hobby were ever going to boil a bunny let alone contact wifey. When emotions get involved, and things don't work out, things can really blow up in your face. If you still insist on going down this path I recommend:
1) get a separate phone that never goes home or even left in your car; or
2) download one of the many texting/VoIP apps. These work through the internet and use your data plan and will not show up on your phone bill other than data usage. I use pinger. Use the app for texting and calling. Never use your actual phone. If wifey gets suspicious, the first place she may look is your phone and then the phone bill. If you are texting the same number a dozen times a day, you will have a lot of explaining to do.
3) Bury the app in a separate window among a bunch of other apps so it's not easy to find.
4) Turn off all notifications for that app.
5) Everyday, delete EVERY text and phone call. NEVER leave any text or call history.
Any tech gurus on here, I would appreciate any issues you see with what I have suggested.
Again, having been to the rodeo, let me warn you that this often ends with someone getting thrown off and hurt badly. My FWB was also married and it grew to something more serious quickly. When she got further ahead then me, it got to be quite challenging. Next, her hubby got suspicious. Do you think my FWB followed my advice on our communications??? Nope! He got suspicious, he got her phone and downloaded months of our texts. I haven't heard from her since and I pray to God I don't end up getting subpoenaed.
Be careful!
- Spartan
I am in a relationship that has morphed into a real FWB situation. Yes we are both aware that it is not a lifelong thing, but we are open and honest with each other and plan to enjoy whatever time we have together.
My problem is this: we are sending many texts to each other every day. When I was just hobbying, a few extra texts a month to set up dates was not noticeable, but several thousand texts a month needs to be controlled. I need a non-SMS messenger that will provide DISCREET notification of a new message without displaying said message.
I am currently using NQ Vault to secure the content on my phone, but since that app still uses SMS the number shows up on my phone bill. I do not get a paper bill, but the evidence is not terribly difficult to dig up. I have looked at using Google Voice for texts, but if you set notifications on you get the content of the text in the notification bar on your phone (even with GV set behind Vault).
I would rather not get another phone, but unless the folks here that are smarter than I am can offer a technology solution I may have to do that (and deal with the new issue of hiding a second phone).
Thanks
JB
If she is constantly texting as it appears she is... she's not with the 'something on the side' program. It seems that this 'FWB' is indiscreet. If you get caught, you go through the wringer... but there are those who are not above breaking up a marriage. If you don't mind getting divorced, then do so first on your own terms, not later... when you are caught... and the wife has all the ammo.
I was young & single when I accidentally got involved with a married woman. It was very dangerous & we carried it on for quite a time. Of course, it was an open secret & the husband knew but could not catch us, though he was no push over. We continued as a bootie call for several years... tried several times to break it off & finally made it stick.
The sex was hot & heavy but It was an unmitigated disaster, not the least of which included keeping me from dating others in the time when I should have been finding someone who was available.
And this was in the pre-cell phone era.
I would rather not get another phone, but unless the folks here that are smarter than I am can offer a technology solution I may have to do that (and deal with the new issue of hiding a second phone).
For more hobbying related use it's still a better idea to have a totally separate phone that you buy with cash, so that the number cannot be traced back to you. Potentially LE could get info from the Burner servers about who the calls/texts really come from in the event someone you saw was arrested and her phone records searched
both positive and scathing 
MatureGFE, you seem to understand my situation the best...thank you!
To many others...yes, we have knowingly entered something much more like an affair than a provider/client relationship. We are fully aware of the dangers (but also the joys!) of exploring an emotional connection. We are both married and working hard to remain discreet. We do not plan to "run off with each other"...the phrase we have used is "I want to spend time with you, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you."
For the edification of others I offer some findings from my own research. There are a few VoIP services that use WiFi and/or data instead of SMS. This will only show up as data usage and is not (easily) tracked to what device it was sent to. The list below includes foreign services, and each service has advantages and disadvantages. YMMV
WhatsApp
Jaxtr
KakaoTalk
Viber
LINE
Kik
Talkaton