I was just curious as to what men generally look for in a provider.  Is it all about looks or is it what is in the inside that counts.  I am sure you can give a percentage answer to kind of make it easier for everyone to understand...Like 30%look 70%personality.  

I think most men like me for my personality and some looks...I am definitely not model material by far, but after you get to know me....the beauty beneath starts to shine through.
Thanks!

Charlie Jean

I would say a sexy appearance and a fun loving attitude gets my vote.Along with great reviews and consistancy in reviews.Do you have any pics so I can see what you look like.

Providers look for?

%100 personality!!!

Looks by far dont mean a thing.

XoXoXo
Yasmine

P.S. This is MY personal opinion guys, cant speak for the other girls!

I'm looking for the most beautiful woman imaginable who is totally wild and crazy about me. Wait a minute that's for my ideal SO not a provider, LOL. Actually for me I have to say there has to be a reasonable amount of physical attraction, but attitude make's all the difference in the world. She could be drop dead gorgeous but if she's a total bitch or act's like she doesn't want to be there or doesn't participate at all forget about it. As for a percentage I'll play it safe and say 50/50, I'd like her attitude to match her physical attractiveness to me.

A provider that only sees maybe 4-5 customers per week and has a second job.  I like to establish a friendship/connection with the lady and become a steady customer.....even occasionally going out "off the clock" non-sexually.  I have visited high volume providers but rarely return.

...but a friendly email response is what hooks me.

Have you ever had a bad experience with a girl who was a total 10, but had no personality or was mean? I often wonder what some of the girls are like.  I guess that is what the reviews are here for.  To turn you away from girls who aren't worth your time or your $$..Also what would you do in a situation if you can tell the girl is totally not into the session...Do you leave or stay?

Exceptional Looks get you noticed, but I've seen exceptionally attractice providers only once because the enthusiasm was not there; On the other habd an attractive, albiet not model material who is enthusiastic and has a personality will get repeat visits.  For those of us who are older, one finish is about all I can do, so someone who is into a slower paced session, with friendly talk, DFK, mutual massage, mutual French before more is a much more enjoyable session than the young hot model material provider who doesn't talk much, wants to rush, then achieve climax after 30 minutes, then immediatey hops up rather than lay back and chat awhile.

Yeah but i am short and sweet with my emails and u saw me.
I like a guy who is clean and realy nice and likes to get to know ME and not just my kitty.
And I love steady people. And dinners with them
Ang

I think that your looks and personality will get you so far, but performance counts.  Every client will have different wants, and if you are a provider who can service those needs, I think you will be exactly what that client wants.  A perfect 10 look with 0 performance means nothing.  A 10 personality with 0 perfermance means nothing.  A 10 performance will boost looks and personality score from a 0 to much higher.
steve

agree completely, a variety of factors is at play for me. looks are the first thing. but I'm more interested in an unusual looking woman than the conventional centerfold stereotype. that's just my taste. Stagy poses and facial expressions in the ad photos put me off also.

if i'm attracted through the photos... I also agree with a poster above that the type of email response i get to an initial inquiry is very important. it gives me some idea of the woman's personality and ability to communicate. often i've gotten a good sense of a provider's enthusiasm for what she does through initial email exchanges.

OMG – What a loaded question. Short and generalized on a subject that has so many variables, it should be no surprise there will be so many answers and even more questions. I felt I shouldn’t get started on this as my fear was the limit to character count might not allow me to complete my opinion. But, for those who need something to read that helps them fall asleep, I assure you this will – so read on if you want to be bored to sleep.

For me, it starts out as a primal instinct and desire to fulfill a need. How I go about this is basic at first – what I see attracts me. Doesn’t have to be top shelf model material. As a matter of fact, each time I start out in search of someone to fulfill the need, how I chose will be dependant upon how I feel that day. What I want from day to day changes in many ways. But it always starts by my looking around the web and seeing who excites me the most. With that said, it should be understood those who post false information by touching up photo’s will alter my feelings the moment we meet.

With that said, it should be understood those who post false information by touching up photo’s will alter my feelings the moment we meet and not likely see me again. Next, sadly to say, it is a matter of $$. Some days are better then others. But, for the most part all of this has been primal – the little head thinking.

Next, I do a little research. Limited by my one and only trusted choice for information, TER of course. I look to see if the one(s) I’ve selected have been reviewed and what is said in those review(s). If there is only one review, it must be from a reviewer with a history of several reviews, otherwise I move on.

In reading the review(s) I get a sense if this one is going to do the trick and satisfy my needs. While I probably won’t have more then a single event of satisfaction, I surely don’t want the feeling that the deed was done and I should leave. I enjoy those who will wait for me to go or at least remind me of the time when it is at least close to or past that which we agreed on.

The rest is what excites me the most, not knowing anything more then what I’ve seen and read I make that decision (leaf of faith) and schedule. The excitement leading up to the door opening is exhilarating to say the least. My mind gets clouded and thought race frantically, and so does my heart. Once there, the next thing will be experienced only once  - first impressions. Looks again, type of greeting, atmosphere, et. I enjoy the ones that greet with a smile, reach out for a hug and light kiss and welcome me in holding my hand. This is where you get your best feeling for what you hoped would be worth it all. If she is a smoker, drinker, drug or on drugs – I’m more then likely out the door or closing it on them as I offer cab fare only.

The rest is magic. If you were happy at your first impression, if she was happy with the same first impression, you will more then likely both be comfortable and have a wonderful hour or so together.

Now, I wonder why TER doesn’t offer a chance to post repeated visits. Not repeated reviews (unless something has dramatically changed), but an indication of someones satisfaction with a provider could be seen by how many times they go back for more. Not to say we are all looking for repeats, some enjoy the variety and spice of new first impressions.

I for one have repeated visits. Each time has something special to offer, a comfort of knowing each other, a little better each time. And until I feel there is nothing more worth experiencing, I will probably return for more. That is until the $$ runs out.

One last thing – If you aren’t please with what you see when I walk in the door, ask me to leave, or fake it. Acting isn’t an easy job, but it doesn’t take much to make me believe I’m satisfying you as much as you are satisfying me. I always question the reality of what I presume as you being pleased by my performance, but in the end it doesn’t really matter as long as I have reason to believe you are. This activity is more about the fulfillment of a fantasy then anything else.

-- Modified on 2/7/2005 7:46:18 PM

-- Modified on 2/7/2005 8:15:59 PM

Sorry CJ, but I've yet to encounter one.  A few 9's, but NO 10's.  I've never given anyone a 10 for looks.  Funny thing was, there might have been a gal or two that I could have given such a rating to, and then she had to go and get those infernal IMPLANTS.  Man, we guys tell 'em NOT to and STILL they go and do it.  As often as not, they seem to be out of proportion with the rest of their body.  Oh well.  Damn glad you didn't go that route!

 As for your question about a 2 performance from a gal with 9 or 10 looks, NO fortunately that has NOT happened to me, yet.  I can certainly see how it COULD though.  Just been lucky, I guess.  I HAVE had what I would call a 5 performance from gals with 8 or 9 looks, though.  One was with an agency banned by TER and the other was before I was a member of TER, hence I could not review them.

 Not to change the subject but TER seemed to feel I was giving too many 10's for performance, so it has limited me to just two of them, so far.  I happen to feel that numerous gals can provide a "once in a lifetime" experience in uniquely different ways.  Apparently TER takes it literally and wants to see only one performance 10 per reviewer (so how the heck did I get TWO?).  BTW, they are Ashana (about whom that is NO exageration) and (then) Kennedy who has had two handle changes since.  They didn't even let me rate my ATF as a 10 for performance!  Sheeesh!

-- Modified on 2/7/2005 9:56:34 PM

Hmmm, you had to pose a TOUGH one, didn't ya'.  Well, let's deal with looks first.  Almost every web provider advertisement has pictures (in fact often a whole gallery of them, sometimes even multiple galleries).  Why do you suppose this is?  Make no mistake; this is a "looks crazy" society.  What do you suppose beauty pageants and high fashion modelling are all about?  Last year, there was a lousy "reality show" on the tube.  I think it was called: "Are You Hot?".  Of the sexes, I believe men tend to be more "hung up" on looks and youth.  That apparently is just a major part of our sexual "appetities".  In general, guys don't go to providers to find a "soul mate".  When you think about it, that would be a pretty stupid idea.  When we go to see a new unknown provider, we want to have some idea of what we will be dealing with.  Just look at all the posts about the accuracy of the photos, retouched photographs, wrong girl photos, bait and switch, and such.  So certainly looks play a major part, like it or not.  With me, I have had "8" experiences with gals who had "5 or 6" looks.  If the looks got any WORSE than that, then they MIGHT detract from the experience.  However, in BDSM switch role reversal, I once had what I would call a "9" experience (outside the hobby) with what most would call a "butt ugly" gal who might rate about a "2" for looks.

 Second, you mention personality next.  Well, I want to be with an interesting person to whom I can relate, and possibly develop a friendship.  So contrary to popular opinion, I NEVER had a "blow up doll"...LOL  No, I certainly don't want a "stick in the mud".  I ALWAYS start my sessions with some conversing trying to find a little bit out about the gal.  Problem is, at $$1/2, $$$ or more an hour, that gets expensive if its duration gets extended.  Where I come from, people don't have to PAY for friendships.  I hate to say it, but there are numerous providers out there who would just LOVE IT if a guy would spend the whole session just talking and "being friends".  I personally encountered a couple providers who were "in that direction" (at least with me) and needless to say I have not been back.  That may sound nice in theory, but once again the big bucks come into play.  When the kind of money that we are talking about in this hobby is involved, we just can't be too altruistic.  Even though the provider may be good at creating the fantasy, this is NOT about Eutopia; this is about PLANET EARTH and the very imperfect human race that inhabits it.

 So, this leads to the THIRD part of the equation which you totally failed to mention.  That is the performance aspect, how things go in the sack, oh damn let's just call it what it is: the SEX.  This is what the guys are coming for and paying the big bucks for.  Sex without ritualization.  Sex without committment.  Downright Fantasyland SEX.  Don't let ANYBODY tell you anything different.  MEN (at least straight men) are truly creatures of sex, and to a great extent are polygamous.  I have often heard that guys think about sex every four seconds.  Well, that would essentially be CONTINUOUSLY.  Nothing would ever get done if that were true.  But, in my own personal case, I certainly think about sex and women DOZENS of times a day.  Oh heck, it may even be into triple digits...

 Now, most of the guys here are not looking solely for sex and looks.  They are looking for a "girlfriend experience"--GFE.  So certainly personality, congeniality, hygiene, etc. are ALL in the equation.  Some gals' personalities REALLY ENHANCE their sexuality and the sexual experience.  As one chap once said: "I'm not greedy; I just want it ALL!"

 So, what would be my ideal percentage mix in the hobby?  I would say 25% looks, 40% performance, and 35% personality.  So, where would I say you fit into this mix?  Pretty close to these figures.  DAMN close.  Of course, I can't review you, because you shut your website down.  But as I said elsewhere, I feel our experience belongs solely to US.

-- Modified on 2/7/2005 10:21:54 PM

So nice to hear from you again, Yasmine sweetie!  It's been a bit too long.  Looks like I need to have a nice "return trip" to YOUR place.  This time I'll bring my toy bags and ROPE!  HAHA

 Well, actually CJ wasn't soliciting provider replies to her rhetorical question.  But, I must say that I found YOURS most enlightening and entertaining, as usual.  Come to think of it, if looks were ANY factor in your equation, I would have NEVER even gotten through the front door!!!  LOL

Thanks for the wonderful responses to my question

WOW, what thoughts and what great responses!

You know Yasmine as far as clients go....I could care less about looks as well...Just as long as they are nice, clean and respect the rules of my session...then I am a happy camper.  

On the other hand,in my personal life, I have always went for the guys with the better personality than looks....

And with chicks....They have to look good! HAHAHAHAHA or else I am not licking their kitty

Love ya

Charlie J

I do have some pics I can send you...You can email me at www.charliejean.net also, I just want to remind everyone that I am quitting the business.....I will be seeing my special "friends" for another week or two and then I am done


Charlie J

I try to find a lady who's doing this part-time, and seeing a few clients (4-5) per week. I make no assumptions as to why they take part in my hobby, but I do try to establish a friendship with the lady and become a steady customer, which includes the occasionally going out "off the clock" non-sexually.

Heck, I go to lunch with my attorney, so why can't I take out a lady for nice meal? Given that, I'd say personality is more important than looks. However, that's no license to says looks are not important. I want it all, and I ususally get it, after turning over more than a few stones.

Happy hunting!

Without a doubt looks are key. If I'm not physically attracted to a picture, then I won't go any further. Then there's the correspondence. Good, and I'm heading in. Neutral, and it depends on what's going on in my life at the moment(Hey I take chances too!). Cool or detatched, and I pass.

If I've made it through those two above to make an appointment, then the personality and the connection between two people takes over. If a lady has a great personality and loves sexual encounters, then we may have a blast. More often than not this is the case, but I've been with good looking, great personality ladies, and just not clicked. It happens. No one's fault...just move on. For me to have a "10" experience the lady I'm with has to be real, and must have a similiar type experience. You ladies are great actresses, but if a guy can't tell when you "O" then he's just not paying attention. There are few things more beautiful in the world than the sight of your manipulations making an "O" washs over your lady.  

I've had several "10" experiences, and I reject the notiion that I'm only allowed "2" in life. I go into EVERY encounter expecting no less.

CJ - you're a "10" sweetheart.

Yours weren't that short, Angelina, and there was definitely enough there to give me a sense of personality. A few ladies have responded to my 3-paragraph, introductory e-mail with simply "Call me"; some never replied at all.

As for the rest, now you have me nervous... I think I was clean & really nice, but I'm not sure about the "steady" part (I'm an insane arch supervillain after all). Getting to know you better is something I am very interested in...

...*every* lady I've met through this hobby has been very nice, and all have seemed to want to please.

Visual 10s are, to me, a very, very rare thing. Consequently, if I actually managed to book an appointment with one -- and she was into it enough to show up -- I'd go through with it. If her performance was really bad I wouldn't see her again, but I'd definitely go through with it that 1st time. She's a 10 after all.

You are too sweet! Yes...Ropes, hot wax ect...Im ready!!!
Your looks are fine. They are not eye flinching. You are very easy to approach and have a very comfortable personality.

Your sweetness got you through the front door....Now on the otherhand, this time you must have a firm but naughty attitude to pass.......

"I could care less about looks as well..."

"I have always went for the guys with the better personality than looks...."

Well, I'm screwed then. I think it's my dashing, bald-headed good-looks that entices most ladies hang around long enough to see beyond the incredibly shallow hedonist that I am.

EXACTLY THE SAME WAY! The guys personality matters but the girlie has to look good to get a lickie here!

Re:Thanks for the wonderful responses to my question

Ya know CJ, after I posted that epistle, a couple other important things came to mind (and I guess they come in that "personality" part).

 First, I want someone who is honest.  I know we all have to keep "double lives".  Arguably, that might be a strike right there.  But, I'm not really talking about what we conceal from the "vanilla world" (we have NO CHOICE about doing that).  I'm also not talking about concealing aspects of our personal lives from our fellow hobbiests and providers.  Our two lives (out of necessity) must remain apart in BOTH directions.  What I AM talking about is honesty WITHIN the hobby.  Many providers will try to "read" a customer and tell him whatever they think he wants or needs to hear (with the objective of keeping him as a customer).  If a provider doesn't like me, I don't want them acting like they do and just keeping me around for the money.  Of course, all to often, that is EXACTLY what goes on in the hobby.  That is probably why many hobbiests don't want to see any one gal too often.  It's probably harder for a customer to be dishonest.  After all, he's "putting his money where is mouth is" (hmmm, that brings about some *interesting images*).

 The second part is: "what kind of a heart does the person have?"  Are they truly a caring person, or is it strictly business.  For me, the best of the providers DO CARE about ME personally, as a person.  With dishonesty rampant, how does one tell?  Well, call it a sixth sense I guess.  Usually, lies will catch up with someone.  I have found that to be consistently the case.

It's about 50% looks and 50% performance for me.  She's got to look good enough to get me worked up, then she has to have enough upstairs to make me think she wants to be there.

Re:Thanks for the wonderful responses to my question

Ponzone!

You are so smart! Thats why I adore you so much! Talk to you soon darling...

CJ

We both like licking kitties of attractive women ;-P

My favorite saying on the subject is "Everyone notices a beautiful woman, but an attractive woman is one that notices ME."

Men in general are visual. If it looks good they want it. But that is human nature to be attracted to what looks good. I watched a show on TLC where babies were given a choice of a person to watch and they always chose the better looking person to watch.

Men are attracted by the surface gloss. They look, for the most part, for something with a boy’s bone structure that is supposed to carry the exterior curves and smooth undulations of femininity.

I too fall into that category. I like attractive women. But if we don’t click it will be a one visit encounter. I need to connect on some level or I won’t repeat and I prefer to repeat. That connection is rarely just sex. I’ve had great sex with some ladies I’ve seen only once. In my previous incarnation there were a handful of ladies I visited repeatedly. This time around I have only met two that I would repeat with. Unfortunately one won’t respond to my email. So I’m still looking.


-- Modified on 2/9/2005 1:37:23 AM

Yasmine! You are a hotty darling...I sure enough would lick that KITTY! I know I am a perv...but hey what can I say

Kisses,

Charlie J

But there is a bad thing to men jumping to Visual 1st. Ever see shallow hal? Funny thing is even the most beautiful women can be rotten to the core inside.

Life has tought me to appreciate everything/everyone around me. Only thing that does bite my butt is.....

Why do guys yodell, whistle, yell and say explicit things? Its so degrading and embaressing. Do guys really thing girls are turned on by this? Only thing I do is put my head down and walk faster!

Whell I guess we are both looking.....woooo hooo.

LOL