Did you book 2 hours?  It is really unclear from what you wrote.

If you only stayed over by less than a 30 min, bc of the situation w her car and who knows if that even really happened, then I would say you do not owe her any more money.  If you booked two hours and you committed to that, then you owe her the money.

Personally, I would never ever go to a client and say that.  I would cut my losses and just think there was a misunderstanding w the time and consider how patient you were in dealing w my delays.

but your story did not suggest that the both of you confirmed verbally the original appt length.  So there was miscommunication at the very least on your part.
Given the circumstances, it was in her best interests to make light of the clock, so she could then later refute your misunderstood timeframe.

She's certainly trying to pull a fast one on you Bill.  If your story is true, you should DEFINITELY not pay for her time with her car troubles.  What kind of person would even suggest that?

BTW this sounds like a very selfish, ill-intentioned provider.  I wouldn't give her another dime and just ignore her after telling her that no, you were not in her company for two hours.

Did your New England private school education teach you the difference between "their" and "there" and "they're"?

She's trying to get over on you.

What happened to the car was not your fault or hers but you should not have to pay for it.

She knew it was going to be a late night for her then she should of called it a day after the tire blew. Poor thinking and planning on her part.

Also, you should have used your big(ger) head and made the decision to see her another time as she already had too much going on. IMO, I would have scratched it and moved on.

I would definitely nix her from future plans and move on to other adventures.

I've never posted on the DC board and this is kind of a long post, but I would appreciate feedback from anyone boared enough to read this whole post.

I live in the DC area but I am currently visiting family in Dallas for Thanksgiving. Since there is some LE uncertainty in the DC area I decided to hobby here in Dallas. I would have posted this on the Dallas board but that board only seems to post ads from providers and does not seem to discuss many issues.

Anyway, I saw a provider (TER top 5 in Dallas and TER top 100 overall) a couple of days ago. We scheduled the appt. for 10 pm in suburban Dallas and I checked my emails 30 minutes prior and had my phone on in case something came up. When I got to the hotel I checked my email and noticed she sent a message about 25 mins ago saying she had a flat tire and was waiting for the dealer to send out a mechanic. She did say she could see me Thanksgiving day (problem for me since I'm visiting family.) I offered to come to her to change the tire. She said she might take me up on my offer and that she would call me back. I waited about 15 mins., called and left a message. I called again at 30 mins. and left a message. I called again at 45 mins. and sent an email. After about an hour I headed back home. Since I was feeling my oats and needed a fix, I called one final time and she picked up and said the mechanic had fixed the flat and that she was now available. She has great reviews, a smoking body, a full service menu and was running a special, so I turned around and went back to the hotel. She said she could be there in about 15-20 mins. She arrived around 11:30-11:40, we got up to the room about 11:45, and she needed to take a quick shower and was ready by about 11:50. I also took a shower and we got the show on the road about 11:55. First round was done by 12:10. Second round done by 12:25. Third round started around12:30. Noticed the time was 12:45 and I said I don't think a third time was going to happen and she said not to worry. I thought she was just being nice and not watching the clock and making up for the delayed start. By 1:00 I called it quits and took a shower. We talked a little afterwards and I walked out by 1:15 and went to get a bite to eat (I have the receipt date stamped at 1:45, 30 mins from our appt.)

Yesterday I checked my hobby phone and email and I noticed she left a message saying that we met for 2 hours and I only paid for 1 hour. I knew we went over by 10 minutes, 25 if you start the clock from when we walked in to when I walked out. I am willing to pay what I owe, but I just wanted to clarify for her the series of events. I sent an email and she sent one back saying:

"Honey definately not a clock watcher and tire was out of my control that's why I offered off the bat to meet on another day vs a wild goose chase late in the evening after getting it changed. Bussiness is bussiness we did 2 hours and extra to point of sore the following day on Greek. I would appreciate if you would wire the other 200 to my screener and provide the refernce number when you do especially buz the room rate the night before Thanksgiving was 150. So vs what rooms generally book for I was out. Hope that you understand that plus I didn't get home until after 230am. Please send to _______ [sic] in Dallas, Tx and when you'd like to schedule with ______ [sic] and myself the discount I mentioned I will still on that but 400 for 2 hours plus meeting as you can also read at that time of night or anytime after 8pm is generally something I don't do and, I was tried however; even with stress strain and unknown tire blow out still put my all in and, was there."

She seems to be billing me for the time when her tire was being fixed and the fact that we met after 8 pm. I thought I wanted to see her again when I visit Dallas for a double, but maybe not. Again, at the 1 hour mark I gave her a heads up and she said it was ok.

Who is right and what should I do? Did I get screwed with my pants on or am I just being a cheapskate? Again sorry for the long post and thanks for any advice.

"Understanding is a three edged sword: your side, their side, and the truth."
— J. Michael Straczynski  ( Babylon 5 )


You have a lot to say so, let's stick to the facts as we understand them:

a) You originally made an appointment with this provider for 10pm.

b) Part of your decision making process in selecting her was because she was running some sort of special which, I can only assume from the information you gave, included Greek in the price.

c) She had a flat tire which made her late but, once it was fixed, she offered to keep appointment.

d) She arrived around 11:30-11:40, took a quick shower and was ready by about 11:50.
You also took a shower and was ready by 11:55.
You ended the session around 1am and left the room by 1:15.

Looking at the evidence in front of me, it appears that at the very most, you should have been charged from 11:50pm (the time she was ready)  to 1:15am (the time you walked out), 1 hour and 25 minutes. 1.5 hr, if you wanted to round up.

Now examining her justifications:

We can all agree that the tire was out of her control but, SHE was the one that offered to continue with the appointment once it was fixed.According to your information, she was running a special which included Greek for a certain price. Ultimately, these were her terms which constitutes an agreement by her making. She shouldn't be charging you extra because she didn't know her own limits when it came to the special services she provided. She is under no obligation to keep going if she's in any sort of pain or discomfort. It's not a difficult thing to say, "Back off, this is too much for me" or "I need a minute" as any rational and reasonable woman should do.This goes back to the pricing structure being on her terms. She should set the pricing, specials, and discounts in accordance of what she knows she can get for a hotel in her market. It would be one thing if this was an outcall where you are responsible for the location but, this was an incall and therefore, her responsibility. If she wasn't making much money off of this, she should have rethought her pricing structure.Again, this was her choice to work after 8pm and to take the call even after her tire blew out. In all technicality, she is under no obligation (other than perhaps her wallet) to take calls that are given to her. If she felt that it was going to be too late at night for her to work after her tire blew out, she should have canceled and rescheduled you for another time.


Based upon what I'm reading and only what I'm reading, this provider is expecting you to pay for her gross lack of professionalism. I would say compensate her for an hour and half to be a gentleman and to be the one who takes the high road.  

Finally, next time, I suggest you deal with someone more in line with your social class. I'm assuming the you copied her e-mail verbatim and it speaks volumes.

(Yes, I'm a New England private school educated snob but, it doesn't make my observations any less true in your case.)

Let me know how it turns out.

Sincerely,

Lee Dreams

Edamus, bibamus, gaudeamus

I booked for an hour which was the special. Normally it was $$$$$/hour. The special was $$$$/hour. When we confirmed the appointment she did make an offer of $$$$$$/2 hours which I did not confirm since talking about $ and services kind of scares me off. If a provider starts to talk about $ I get nervous so I did not acknowledge her 2 hour offer. And at the 1 hour mark I said isn't my time up, and she said it was ok, so I thought she was just being understanding. I want to pay because I want to see her again, but I don't want to pay, because I didn't spend 2 hours with her.

She threw in a lot of irrelevancies, like the higher room cost and the late hour, to try to bolster her argument but I think they actually weaken it.

The relevant facts are that you two got into the room at 11:45 and left at 1:15.  So, 1.5 hours seems fair.

True, at the one hour mark she did say not to worry, but I think it's reasonable to conclude she was offering you a few extra minutes to finish up - not an extra half hour for free.

And, I can say I put my money where my mouth is on this - I had a similar situation where I booked an hour and went over by 25 minutes back in May.  In my case the girl didn't contact me about it, but I contacted her and arranged to meet her to pay her for the extra half hour.

Thanks Lee.

I was probably going to take the high road anyway, like you said, and offer some compensation for the extra time that I stayed, but most of all I think I just wanted to vent and stand on principle and to see if others agreed with me. Also, during this economic downturn, I budget carefully during my trips away from DC and I wanted to see three different providers this week. Compensating her for a fictional hour would mean I could only see two. (I know this last sentence sounds selfish and probably a little uncompassionate.)

The email I sent her was essentially my post on the DC board. The email she sent back I cut verbatim, but left out two names which might help identify the provider.

I think my fault was thinking with the wrong head. Like she said in her email, she initially did say she wanted to reschedule for Thanksgiving day because she didn't want to inconvenience the rest of my night, but I told her my time was unlimited because I really wanted to meet her. But like you said, she was still willing to meet after the tire was fixed.

BTW, her special was $$$$/hour. It is normally $$$$$/hour. And her services always include Greek, rimming and BBBJCIM which are my holy trinity for a provider. I think the point she was making about soreness was that we spent almost 15-20 mins doing Greek during the 3rd round, but like you said, if it hurt she could have stopped it. A few times during the 3rd round I did ask if she was in any pain and she told me not to stop.

As far as her grammar is concerned, English is her fourth language (I think Spanish, Portuguese and French are her first three.) She told me she came to the US when she was 16 and got her undergraduate degree at UCLA and is now providing on the side to finance her MBA at a university in Dallas. (Not sure if any of this is true, but this is what she told me.) She looks to be in her early to mid twenties and she uses quite a bit of colloquial slang with a fairly pronounced accent so some of what she said to me verbally, I didn't always understand. (I know the written word is different than the spoken word.) Also her email signature did say it was sent from her iPhone which is not the easiest thing to type on. I'm not trying to defend her writing style per se, just wanted you to have all the facts.

One thing I didn't mention in my post was that I told her I wanted to meet in person to pay some compensation, but according to her email, I guess she doesn't want to do this and just wants me to wire the money instead. I'm not really sure how to wire money.

I will try again to contact her and give her some compensation. Again, my problem is, when I find what I call a holy trinity provider, at what I consider a reasonable rate, with 9-10 TER ratings, I treat her like a rare metal. Maybe I should think with the big head, pay some compensation and walk away.

I find it hard to believe that she didn't check it considering this was the first meeting between the two of you. If you left the donation upfront, then it's up to her to make sure the amount is correct especially when you had given her a chance to do it discreetly. That's why I always leave the donation before I take a shower. I don't think you owe her anything if this was the case. Having said that, you should probably give her something for agreeing to meet you at such a late hour and for going overtime to try to get you that 3rd pop. Call it a nice tip if you will.

Seems to me she is only in this biz for the $$$ . Also are you the only one this has happened to.. im sure its not... your just the only one that has said anything im sure about that as well......

 by what I read time wise.. an hour is all that was owed and for the fetish "greek"..  Girls like her give us TRUE providers a bad name...

being a woman i would have let you come change my tire..  Hell I would of changed my own tire knowing I had a commitment...  BUT THATS JUST HOW I AM ...  

take care guys and girls.. there are alot of scammers on both sides...  

peace n love

Ms.M

when she said dont worry about it.. that was on her when he left. Her coming at him with the late hour, the room cost, thats just kids play .. I dont understand why some of these girls are like they are. how do they sleep at night??


Bottom line is this:::  SHE IS IN CHARGE on dates.. why do you girls cry the blues when you let things get out of control??  stop being so money hungry and slow down a lil.. you may just see how much easier life really is   .. A revolving door is bound to cause problems  ...  Thats why mine isnt.. ( tried that.. wasnt much fun)

If the hourly rate you were paying was $$$$, 90 minutes would be an extra $$ on top of that [if you do straight math as opposed to an additional discount on top of the one you had already received], which is what she requested...*shrug*

Especially since that extra time included some pretty significant time spent in her back door...

You obviously don't HAVE to pay, but I would in your shoes...especially if I thoroughly enjoyed the appointment as you clearly did...

This was all incumbant upon her to clarify given the extenuating circumstances. If she is too scatterbrained to recall her fees and services and how much time she devoted then tough! My expectation is to have settled up before leaving the room. calling someone back hours or days after the fact is rude, obnoxious, and down right unprofessional.

I would not pay anything over the hour rate unless you feel i was worth it to you! In my mind.. the time she took to repair her vehicle may have been inconnveniant for her but it was also inconveniant for you... So I'd say you lost the time as well and could have cencelled if you wanted to.

I may just be a stubborn asshole here but I blieve she is trying to recover the cost of her tire. Of course that assumes that it was the truth and she was not delayed at another appointment...

I blieve there may be some details left out here but based on how it has been presented you don't owe a damn thing. If she failed to verify the amount in the envelope when she had ample opportunity then I'm sorry...

My .02
Fog