Started my SB journey a couple of weeks ago (see my thread a few posts down). Went through the recommendations (thanks Herbcat and others) and devoured this forum to learn the basics. I also read through Sugar Lifestyle Forum and Reddit communities for more insight.

Here’s what my experience has been like after 2 weeks in this lifestyle:

1. Both Seeking and SDM are filled with scammers, fakers, and dead profiles, but there are real ones mixed in.
2. When I started, I made sure I had only one strong main photo. My goal was mainly to avoid coming across as a creep. It helped.
3. Initially, I was getting hit up by a large number of non-US girls (most likely scammers/fakers). I went hidden and the experience improved significantly after that.
4. I made the mistake of only messaging girls under 23. Most turned out to be scammers, fakers, or too expensive for me. I quickly learned to raise my age range up to 30. (I’m 39.)
5. I must have messaged 200+ ladies. I refined my pitch based on what got better responses. My reply rate improved a lot after the change.  
   Old pitch: “Are you open to a meet and greet? Would love to connect.”  
   New pitch: “Are you open to coming to the [your city] area for meetups? If yes, happy to share my offer.”  
   This usually gets girls to respond. I take it off the platform quickly (thanks Google Voice).
6. I’ve spoken to around 30 girls total.  
   • Got ghosted by 5 girls around M&G (last-minute Uber requests, “I’m on my way,” and other time-wasters).  
   • Met 3 girls in person and did 4 video chats.  
   • Had BCD with 2 girls — a 26-year-old Colombian and a 27-year-old mixed girl. Both very hot.  
   • Currently planning to meet the 3rd.  
   • STDcheck.com was great for getting my results quickly.  
   • Raw sex with both — really enjoyable compared to TER life.

**BCD Experience:**  
It was a mixed bag.  
• The Colombian girl was hot. I fucked her well and made her cum. However, she’s still pretty new to this and didn’t want a second round because she gets very sensitive after sex. She also wasn’t slutty enough for me (I’m coming from fucking the sluttiest escorts, so I tend to compare). The no-rush session was still really good.  
• The second girl felt good too, but I didn’t feel the chemistry I was hoping for.

Now as I reflect, I’d love some advice. Should I keep seeing these girls and try to build better sexual chemistry with them (the second girl even wants me to teach her Greek 🤣), even though she’s inexperienced right now?

Or should I keep meeting new girls and eventually pick one for something more long-term? What has worked for you?

One thing I’ve noticed: any really sexy young girl is either out of my budget (they want 1xxx PPM; one girl basically said what I offered is what she gets for a regular dinner date) or is a scammer.

I’m a bit confused. The no-rush sessions are a relief and fun. Booking a nice spot of my liking makes it easy to enjoy myself (thanks Dayuse), but I’m wondering if I can ever find a more TER escort-ish SB.

It has been fun so far, but I did end up spending a LOT of time chatting with all these girls

Congrats on your successes so far Joffrey.  I'm glad this board has been a useful resource for you.  there's a lot of experience and wisdom here.

 
I'd def keep seeing these girls, esp if they are currently your only sex partners.  But I'd keep seeking hard, and try to find some upgrades.  As for trying to build sexual chemistry with them, well, great idea, but I don't think it's gonna work.  In my experience you can tell from the very first fuck if a girl is the right kind of sexy for you.  Not likely to change.  

 
I am surprised by your poor results with the young ones though.  I've had great luck with the younger SBs.  My youngest was 18 when we met, all of 23 now, super responsive and sexual.  My current #1 was 23, is now 25 and she's a beauty and we've been dating every 2 weeks for 2 years now.  I could go on, but you get the idea.  These young women are much sluttier than the escorts I used to date, for sure.  And waaaay less expensive.  It's a hobby for them, not a profession.  There are def gems in the younger age group, if you can find them.

Thx Sweetman. I learnt from your posts too.  

Somehow I get scammers  / rinsers in that age bucket. Most say they don’t have a car - can you order uber for me. Am I just assuming these girls are fake or should I take a chance of going to them even if chances of them to ghost may be higher? Trying to understand how to land these younger ones

You've got a great story here, and your patience paid off.  Congratulations!  

 
Here's my thoughts on your questions:  
Building sexual chemistry is an art-meets-science dynamic.  Sometimes you just know from the 1st 3 seconds of the BJ that she's either not there for the sex (with you), or she's just too inexperienced to know how to how really perform.  I have found that newer SB's can sometimes need a second or third session before they learn to really relax/trust and allow themselves to enjoy the lust.  Their expectations are built on porn and a few hook ups from school, friend groups, or bars.  They don't yet know what real intimacy feels like.  For me, if she asks to be taught some skill or technique, oblige with patience and enthusiasm.  On the other hand, there are SB's whose profiles oversold the potential. We often refer to them as starfish who just lay on the bed and wait for you to do stuff.  

 
What to do?  That depends on a lot of subjective criteria. Can you talk to her about it without her being insulted? Were YOU really a good performer in bed and did you find the path to get her motivated? Is this just how she learned to have sex, or does she have past partners that really thrilled?  For me, I'd probably plan a second date and make sure to plan extra time for the BCD. Then don't be in a hurry to get off. Invest in her pleasure first to relax and motivate her.  If you see or don't see improvement, re-evaluate and make a decision.  

 
I've said this many times in the past about SB's:  They show up for the cash, but they come back for the orgasms. One advantage that SD's typically have over the douchebag pickups she gets is eating pussy - a lot. Don't approach it as a necessary duty. Savor it, enjoy it, adjust to her verbal and non-verbal feedback.  It's not about getting her a first orgasm. It's about making her lose count of her orgasms so she wants and craves more.  

 
The "no car" problem. This is not automatically a red flag, Cars are expensive and without well-off parents who can buy one or hand down an older car, many 20-ish women just can't afford the costs. It's actually one of the main forces that make sugaring seem like a viable strategy.  You can filter for SB's with cars through the messaging process. But I suggest you not automatically reject a POT without a car. Yes, adding Uber's for M&G's is expensive. If I'm highly interested in a POT without a car, I will often offer to find a M&G location close enough to her to walk. Then I'll make the drive for the M&G and can evaluate whether I want to add the cost of future Uber's to my all-in budget for this POT. I may even use her need for a car in my allowance negotiations.  
1. Walk her through the math: down payment, loan payments, insurance, gas and maintenance, etc.  
2. Next see how close her current income is to enable her to buy.  
3. Finally, show her that seeing you X times a month at Y allowance will gate her Z% of the way to getting that car.  

 
Of course, she probably won't use her allowance for getting a car...but the process can help her rationalize saying yes to your offer.  One warning: Do not offer to buy her a car, co-sign a loan, or make some or all of the monthly payments. Do not use that path - "Thar be dragons thar!"

 
Finally, your conversion rate (number of BCD dates divided by number messages sent) is actually rather typical. I'd love to tell you how to improve your 1-3% rate stated in your OP.  We'd all love to tell you, as soon as someone figures out how. LOL  

 
This is definitely not like hiring hookers, where you can expect a 75-90% success rate. I suggest you approach your conversion rate more like a batting average, where batting .300 is major league level performance.  Like any player who needs 100 at bats to get on base 3 times, once you run across home plate you stop thing about the strike-outs. You just want to grab your bat and swing again.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Good questions.  I think the demographics are different for you.  Where I live, you need a car to be independent, therefore getting one is at the top of most teens want lists.  Most of the young girls I chat up on Seeking do have a car and can drive themselves to our M&G and BCD locations.   When they don't, I offer to drive to them and pick them up.  That has worked surprisingly well several times, even though it obviously is a risky thing for a young woman to hop in a car with a strange man.

 
If they decline your offer to pick them up and request an Uber instead, I guess I'd bite the bullet and simply consider it an additional cost to conducting your search. My philosophy for initial M&Gs is that while I won't pay a girl to meet me for lunch,  I also won't ask her to incur any expenses to do so.  I start to worry that they are scammers when they ask me to send money in advance for a babysitter, gas for their car, or any other bogus request.  Those are red flags, time to move on!

 
Once you get a young SB to actually show up for a  M&G lunch date, it's up to you to be so charming you basically seal the deal!  Remember, she has her own reasons for being there with a man who is older than her.  She wants this to work out!  Be who she wants you to be, and you'll have plenty of sweet young affordable pussy!