Started my SB journey a couple of weeks ago (see my thread a few posts down). Went through the recommendations (thanks Herbcat and others) and devoured this forum to learn the basics. I also read through Sugar Lifestyle Forum and Reddit communities for more insight.
Here’s what my experience has been like after 2 weeks in this lifestyle:
1. Both Seeking and SDM are filled with scammers, fakers, and dead profiles, but there are real ones mixed in.
2. When I started, I made sure I had only one strong main photo. My goal was mainly to avoid coming across as a creep. It helped.
3. Initially, I was getting hit up by a large number of non-US girls (most likely scammers/fakers). I went hidden and the experience improved significantly after that.
4. I made the mistake of only messaging girls under 23. Most turned out to be scammers, fakers, or too expensive for me. I quickly learned to raise my age range up to 30. (I’m 39.)
5. I must have messaged 200+ ladies. I refined my pitch based on what got better responses. My reply rate improved a lot after the change.
Old pitch: “Are you open to a meet and greet? Would love to connect.”
New pitch: “Are you open to coming to the [your city] area for meetups? If yes, happy to share my offer.”
This usually gets girls to respond. I take it off the platform quickly (thanks Google Voice).
6. I’ve spoken to around 30 girls total.
• Got ghosted by 5 girls around M&G (last-minute Uber requests, “I’m on my way,” and other time-wasters).
• Met 3 girls in person and did 4 video chats.
• Had BCD with 2 girls — a 26-year-old Colombian and a 27-year-old mixed girl. Both very hot.
• Currently planning to meet the 3rd.
• STDcheck.com was great for getting my results quickly.
• Raw sex with both — really enjoyable compared to TER life.
**BCD Experience:**
It was a mixed bag.
• The Colombian girl was hot. I fucked her well and made her cum. However, she’s still pretty new to this and didn’t want a second round because she gets very sensitive after sex. She also wasn’t slutty enough for me (I’m coming from fucking the sluttiest escorts, so I tend to compare). The no-rush session was still really good.
• The second girl felt good too, but I didn’t feel the chemistry I was hoping for.
Now as I reflect, I’d love some advice. Should I keep seeing these girls and try to build better sexual chemistry with them (the second girl even wants me to teach her Greek 🤣), even though she’s inexperienced right now?
Or should I keep meeting new girls and eventually pick one for something more long-term? What has worked for you?
One thing I’ve noticed: any really sexy young girl is either out of my budget (they want 1xxx PPM; one girl basically said what I offered is what she gets for a regular dinner date) or is a scammer.
I’m a bit confused. The no-rush sessions are a relief and fun. Booking a nice spot of my liking makes it easy to enjoy myself (thanks Dayuse), but I’m wondering if I can ever find a more TER escort-ish SB.
It has been fun so far, but I did end up spending a LOT of time chatting with all these girls
Congrats on your successes so far Joffrey. I'm glad this board has been a useful resource for you. there's a lot of experience and wisdom here.
I'd def keep seeing these girls, esp if they are currently your only sex partners. But I'd keep seeking hard, and try to find some upgrades. As for trying to build sexual chemistry with them, well, great idea, but I don't think it's gonna work. In my experience you can tell from the very first fuck if a girl is the right kind of sexy for you. Not likely to change.
I am surprised by your poor results with the young ones though. I've had great luck with the younger SBs. My youngest was 18 when we met, all of 23 now, super responsive and sexual. My current #1 was 23, is now 25 and she's a beauty and we've been dating every 2 weeks for 2 years now. I could go on, but you get the idea. These young women are much sluttier than the escorts I used to date, for sure. And waaaay less expensive. It's a hobby for them, not a profession. There are def gems in the younger age group, if you can find them.
Thx Sweetman. I learnt from your posts too.
Somehow I get scammers / rinsers in that age bucket. Most say they don’t have a car - can you order uber for me. Am I just assuming these girls are fake or should I take a chance of going to them even if chances of them to ghost may be higher? Trying to understand how to land these younger ones
