I was giving a back massage to an extremely beautiful provider and all of a sudden she lets one rip,  I did not say anything and soldiered on, also because she is so young and beautiful she has an attitude, needles to say I will not be seeing her again.

Simply plug the offending hole with your dick. lol

I doubt that I would continue with giving a massage, but maybe it was her way of telling you it was time to get to the main event.

Besides, it might be all your fault for pressing too hard!

Dopamine is very important also!

I'm not that good at codes, but if I were to send a message to the OP, I'd say place dick up ass and go fuck yourself

Ok lets see here.....GFY, that part is easy. Go eff yourself.

Hmmm, now to the rest. A fine puzzle.

Ok, got the UAA. But its the P that just stumps me.

Something-something-ugly ass and go fuck yourself is what I"m thinking.

Ok I give up. That's as close as I can get it. Lets see what others can make of what I've deciphered so far

Writin a response in a snippy bitch style to make a point about snippy bitch men!

Brilliant!

HalfHour

You should have jumped up and and said "what was that?!?!" then been dead silent for several seconds while her head was spinning over what to do...
follow that with the RIGHT kind of teasing and relectant acceptance banter to build and release tension and you would have had the most highly charged session you could imagin'!

You might have gotten a session on the house as well.



HalfHour

It could be:

Put Dick Up Ass And Go F*** Yourself.

That way the OP's fart problem is solved, but the
f*** problem has to be solved on his own, assuming
he is not into anal.

My $.02

When a gal would fart while he was eating her out he'd lift his head and say:

"Thank you for that breath of fresh air."

and you will not see her again? What a looser you are. I suppose you do not fart?

Ah yes, even the beautiful young occasionally inadvertently pass gas. It is a normal bodily function - especially when pressure is applied to just the right area with massage.

I kindly suggest that she probably didn't mean it, and was simply too embarassed to acknowledge it to you.

Maybe she had an attitude because you don't know how to fuck? That usually solves the problem for me. Endorphins make most any challenging personality malleable.

Good, you're doing her a favor too. So are you not seeing her because she's human and accidentally farted or because she has an attitude? Take this advice...PDUAAGFY.

I can't or I would have to kill you... I am choosing to vent in code...makes me feel better and I don't get the usual rectal orifices throwing a dick fit.

Did she even say "excuse me"?, Really if she came off with some decorum or had some manners about her whats the harm? Did it smell? Did you laugh? Did she?

I am sure it was an accident, OP.  Let it go...we're all ONLY human! "Don't let it go" around me tho...LMAO

LOL Thanks. And I wonder how many guys have ever realized that the funny faces and tensing is not quite all about them but a valiant attempt to prevent the escape of gas. I know I have done it and if they thought it was because they were hitting the spot..well who am I to say otherwise...I'm just glad I did not "poof" in their general direction

Amongst yourselves you guys seemed to be fascinated with bodily sounds. Cheering on your buddy's resounding belch. Seeing who can let the loudest one rip. Hell... some of you even test the methane theory by lighting gaseous releases on fire.

And the fact that she passed gas during your date offends you?

I seriously doubt she intended and was more than likely mortified when it occurred leaving her unsure of what to say or do.

Give the female gender some latitude... we haven't been training our whole lives to control the volume and timing of our bodily sounds as you boys have

Judging by some of the ads I've read over the years, some guys would pay extra for that and beg her to do it again.

Personally, I'd just laugh and be glad it wasn't me.

Seems to me that you may have missed a golden opportunity here...there is quite a market for fetish items!!

I'm not clear here.

Does the lady have a bad attitude? Okay, that's a good reason not to see her. Who wants to actually PAY for a woman with a 'tude?

But if I'm understanding this ... you aren't seeing her again because of a simple, normal and natural bodily function?

Oh man, if that's the case ... wow, that's crazy.

Maybe you could reschedule and reciprocate during some hot BLS action...

pipe down useless ass and go fuck yourself?

what did you do to help her out?  Undoublably embarassed...  maybe even surprised...  Take yourself less seriously, light an extra candle...  keep the flame away from her butt!  LOL!!   Farts are gross but then sex is too.   Don't take yourself so seriously.  
skb

Nah....... that's called, "matter of fact" style.

Stop projecting.

of course ever have candles in the bathtub? i did was extremely
alluring. how creative he is. i didnt say a thing he had it already before i
got to his place  goodness a romantic like me rare these or any
day....oh my my. hes a nice regular for years.  this ultra veteraness knows how to treat all her
gent friends guess thats why we are still regular friends in los angeles, calif.

you can catch me right now on back page go 2 escort go-word-search: hot housekeeper.
for los angeles/san fer vlly. i check mail every day will get back to you soon as possible.

see you today, tomorrow. tell your nice local friend about me here or there.
send me mail thru here or thru back page. if any female with regulars wants to see an exotic girl like me we can work something agreeable for us he can continue seeing you. i wont be trying to replace you. been around too long for that kind of stuff. hope everyone had a good labor day.

ever notice everyone is gone on holidays?  good time to do other things bye for now  
 have a good day and great rest of week everyone.  sep 9 thu 4 pm

kim the nice gfe romancer

Passing gas is a natural body function and sometimes can't be helped. She was probably mortified that it happened. I feel sorry for you would let such a trivial thing stand in the way of having a good time.

I was with a client once, and he was going downtown real good. I felt it coming on but I was trying to hold back.  Well when I got to the big O it came out with fart ripping enthusiasm. Loud and proud! LMAO It scared the hell out of the hobbyist, and he jerked backwards, which of course caused me to laugh and force out another one.  We both laughed that time.
Lighten up.  Its NOT a big deal

If her attitude was MORE STANK then I hope that's the real reason you won't see her again because I mean even the best can't always hold it in lol. We...are....people too no matter how pretty. lol

I have been with clients and farted, it happens we are the same as anyone else. I have been with clients who also farted, what the hell. The expectations of yours are a bit much.
Not seeing her again because of the additude, I get that but a lil gas, no one has control over that. Geesh. Very shallow and silly!

You should have buried your face in her ass!

I've always wondered about that tho too; how the girls hold that back?
...cause lets be honest, guys do it too.

it just adds to the flavor.

but I don't think that would stop me from seeing her again, I'm sure it wasn't her intention, if all else was awesome I'm guessing it would be a one time mistake.