but you are asking her out on a "date" where if I read you correctly, there will be zero compensation for her spending the best part of an evening with her. Unless she likes you as more than a client I would prepare to be turned down.

Now I do have a suggestion that might make it a win for both of you. Suggest booking your usual 2 hr session (on the clock of course) followed by an OTC nice dinner. this way she doesn't lose an entire evening's worth of work, you get laid, and you spend a little quality time together, She might still say no, but you have much better odds this way.

Just remember, until she says otherwise she is not your "date", she is a professional providing a service.

it will also make for a more relaxed dinner afterwards, you can take your lead from her how long it will last.

Lots of ladies don't like to have sex on a full stomach, and taking the time for the food to digest might turn your "date" into an all evening affair lasting 6-8 hours, which she might see as taking advantage of her time.

Just remember, she might not have the slightest interest in going out on a "date" don't push too hard or you might be looking for a new ATF if she thinks you are looking to "cross lines" uninvited

I've been seeing a regular for a few months now, every two weeks for two hours.  We get along very well, obviously.

our usual time is morning.  She has told me multiple times that she never sees more than one guy a day, four days a week max.  She can make what she needs to make with that volume.  Maybe I could mix things up a bit and move the time one week to just after work and then dinner or whatever.

I pretty much ONLY drink on dates, by choice. It is nice to be wined and dined...but that is NOT why I am here. I am here to make an income. I can always buy a nice dinner myself, if I want to.

And it's always with someone I've already done a few paid sessions with and it's pretty clear we get along.  On several occasions I simply spontaneously asked because it was around dinner time.  All I've said is, "if you don't have another appointment for a while, I'd be happy to buy you dinner, just friends."  The answer has almost always been, "yes."
Another approach that's been successful when setting up a dinner with another monger and his date is to ask her if you can book a session and then take her out to dinner OTC.  That way she can plan her schedule in advance.  Again, most girls are happy to, assuming they actually enjoy your  company. You just have to trust your gut on this one.
My guiding principle is, I'm happy to pay for sex, and I'm happy to buy someone I like dinner.  I just won't pay her to watch her eat it.  You'd be surprised at the number of girls who are perfectly happy with this arrangement.  None of them have seemed insulted by the offer.  
Oh, and I don't thing it's a stupid question.  Lots of guys enjoy this but are afraid to ask..

-- Modified on 3/18/2014 5:05:12 PM

Mainly because your intestines can do nasty stuff when digesting and your breath might stink. But everyone's different.  There's no right answer on this.

She's low volume, hell yes she gets paid for her time NOT what she does during that time, come on?!  
This gets old fast trust me...especially if she's very low volume...sure she likes you, sure she's not a clock watcher that means she's a quality provider.... NOT your wife! It doesn't mean she's about to give away 2 or more of her precious hours going out to a nice dinner, she may be able to do that on her own...she may have other things besides making money she could be doing,  
Maybe tending to family. Or maybe she could also make some money during that time. This is a clear way to ruin a good thing, do not think it is appropriate..it's not.
       Do you respect and value her? Do you want her to think-you think- her time is not worth it?  
It's her time....come on?!  
 Also what the hell happens when your all done with that fine wine and dinner and your horny but already agreed this "was off the clock" what would you do, try to extend at the last minute? I suggest going thru and reading some upscale women's websites where a whole ton of them address this very issue...  
They do so for a reason.  
Life is about give & take and everything's a trade off. Do yourself a favor  and try to keep it fair and even -as per her rates, even if she's nice enough to let it happen once it only breeds grounds for future resentment!!

I'm just nosing around the boards....so quiet these days! And I saw your interesting post.

or two after the sex, and have even met them at the bar for drinks before the sex. But sex and envelope was always there.  I would much prefer that such an OTC request come from the gal and not from the guy, unless you are absolutely interested in dating the provider. Your asking her for OTC time in such a way sends the same exact message.  The envelope and sex, you see, keep things simple -at least for me.

Honestly, she's already giving you a good amount of time OTC. Be thankful and if she wants to offer she will. If you ask, she may never.

She already goes over her time with you. Why don't you book a 3 hour date with her including dinner I'm betting you'll get some action before AND after dinner and OTC as well. It would be a nice way to show your appreciation for her generosity since you met her.

Just a thought!

Steph

Your asking her for OTC time makes the boundaries of your relationship fuzzy and implies you do not value her time.  

Aside from the problematic nature of food digestion sex is more comfortable when your stomach is not full.  

What's your intent?  Are you romantically interested

And all the booz.

understand. You guys have something great going with a woman and then ya'all gotta fuck it up thinking you don't have to 'buy' more time even when she's giving you some more as it is.  

I'll simply add that I don't believe asking for a "civvie" type dinner date is insulting; it is more an issue of opening up the door for abuse of kindness and building resentment. She may say yes, and you may feel it is a mutual desire... but in the end it is you manipulating and taking advantage. And you probably won't even realize you are doing it.

Dropped a major deuce at the poor girl's incall.  Needed a shower.  Thought it didn't come out of his time.  Funny thing about that dude.  He could act like a total tard but was so goofy/funny people liked him anyway.

It's a simple question the gal can say yes or no to. It's not degrading, demeaning or disrespectful in any way. Maybe she'd like to go out on a date w/o $ involved one time? You can't speak for her.  

And, no, I won't try to 'splain "it" to you.  That time has long since passed.  Suffice it to say that many of the women I've seen (and reviewed) are happy to join me for dinner after a session, either planned or not, and it's OTC.  That's the only way it's going to happen, so I guess they must be getting something out of it and not feeling abused or presumed upon.
Clearly, you are not alone in your belief but why would you assume everyone is, or should be, like you?  This is not a one-size-fits-all or cookie-cutter world.  But I guess it is for you.
BTW, I respect the women who, for their own reasons, don't want to do this.  I only have a problem with the ones who are judgmental about it, and about the women I know who enjoy it with the right guy.

-- Modified on 3/18/2014 8:31:57 PM

you or your posting impresses me on any level. Sorry about that. I do wish I could say otherwise, but I just can't lol.  

situation personally, fuck yea, I'll say it pisses me off. Bullshit or not according to you. Read my post to Nick and maybe you'll get a clue too. Until then go play with Nick in the sandbox. Come back when you get the sand out of your ass, maybe he'll help you with that.

"I'd like to take her out for a really nice dinner..."

Oh....sorry...i forgot...in your warped, sick, bizarro world, I just "abused" you. My apologies.

Her next flameout can't be far off

You are such a pathetic old man it's nauseating. Buy a damn clue. Do me a favor and stay far far away from anything to do about me. And no, you will never have my support. Ever.

you are anyhow, so it's no wonder. Go figure. Boy I had you pegged from a mile ago. LMAO. There's nothing more sick, warped and bizarre than what goes on in the minds of some of you typical posters here. Scary, it's no wonder why you're here. Just don't come knockin on my door, not that you ever will, thank God for that.

And I might add that the balance of "power" is interesting in this situation. "You" (generally speaking) are the buyer and she depends on your money as part of her income. To put her on the spot by asking out OTC after she already gives more time might place her in a sticky situation in that she might feel she HAS to in order to keep "you" as a client, thus the insidious feeling of manipulation some have spoken of.  

If that was his iq lmao   But yeah,  he was a funny dude. I wonder if he's still around.

PS: And, Minnie, do you really think you know the first thing about me?  You don't.  You never have. Each time you've confidently stated something you thought you "knew" about me, you've been wrong.  Which is why you are TER's Minnie Mendoza.  Actually, calling you Minnie Mendoza insults Minnie Mendoza, who at least batter .180.  You are far, far below that.

I'm just such a gorgeous, sexy stud that when I pay for a lady's time she always wants to blow me, fuck me and then blow me again.

Are these women "on" or do you prefer they relax and since it is OTC, be themselves without worrying that you would penalize them later by not booking them?  

Hmmmm....why to I think this is your usual total crock of crap

And be original, don't use my words. Thanks.

Einstein

We know each other well enough, both in bed and out of it, so there are no games. Sometimes the OTC meal is their idea, so they hardly need to be "on."  Look, I"m certainly not saying this is the norm, just that it can happen.  And must be handled with care.
When two people actually like each other, and also haven't seen each other for a couple of months, they have lots of stories to tell.

And not meant to provoke anything negative. I think what you have managed to achieve is fine. Both parties seem to be happy and that is all anyone asks for at the end of the day.  

But let this be a lesson to you.  If you say something that makes sense I have no trouble agreeing with it.  Now if you could just get your pal Tardlor to ever start making sense, or not being obnoxious, well....No, never mind.

At least not in the traditional sense.  I am not romantically interested.  I pay her for sex but we like each other.  So we can grab a meal together, hang out, swap stories and laugh.  That's it. Friendship, just not the usual kind.

It is actions. And of course intent. Friendship is a two way street built on trust. The playing field is not level, the escort is the seller and the hobbyist is the buyer. A very tricky situation with the propensity to be very bad for the lady if she is not thinking clearly. She could, at worst lose money and be back channeled badly.  

I don't train-wreck threads just to do it.  If I agree with you, I'll say it.  If I don't, I'll say it.  It's really no more complicated than that. You may wish to question that it took me so long to agree with you. Maybe it's because you just don't get it 99% of the time.
But I was happy to agree with you that 1% of the time.  Try not being stupid and it might happen again.
Based on your history, it may take a while.

asking me to go out for dinner with him alone----just as friends.  

What would you do and how would you feel if she says no? Would you still keep seeing her? PLease do not abuse the extra time she gives you now. And don't EVER assume she is as in to you as you are to her. If she is a professional, she will make darn sure you feel as if she is, emphasis on the FEEL portion.  

Tells me that his intentions are that of romance and not friendship.

If you are taking up her time, time she could be earning income, then you need to compensate her at her normal rate.    
Sounds like she already cuts you slack with extra time.  
Don't mess it up by getting greedy.

I hope that my doctor and lawyer will hang out with me for free for dinner too when I don't see them otherwise...Unless you're that good looking...Seriously, you have enough reviews to know that OTC time is for good customers, with whom they've likely built up enough of a business relationship, on THEIR initiative NOT yours. Unless you are Tidwell, you shouldn't be looking for your future love or a friend you don't pay here.

-- Modified on 3/18/2014 11:17:07 PM

all of those PMs come from the same guy. Turd... well...

A search can readily find your same arguments recycled over and over.

It' tax season so I met my accountant for lunch.  We talked about my return for 20 minutes then about the March madness brackets for 40 minutes. He billed me for an hour...and I picked up the lunch tab. I didn't complain, no matter how we loved talking sports he was at work and billed me for the time spent wit me.  It's the same principal.

...didn't do the same thing?  It has the same effect.

as this isn't about grabbing a bite after a session if she happens to be free.
This is about asking her to reserve a block of time in her schedule just to have dinner with you.
What if she did this with every client?  She'd end up with a lot of great meals and not much else (except for perhaps an extra 20 lbs or so after a few months).

Ive been in this situation and Ended up Losing a good regular over it.  
I am a fairly low volume provider... Not a clock watcher... and IMO I take time to talk to and listen to all my clients even if we go over our scheduled time. I was seeing a client for over a year. We lived in different states but he would send for me to come out to his state (NM) every other month... while I was in his city he would usually visit me twice and even though he paid me (up front) to travel to him He still knew he had to pay to visit with me once i was there... He was a total sweet heart in the beginning and we got along great.  
Strangely enough after about a year and 1/2 he suddenly got "transferred" to the same city and state where I Live (ACTUALLY 2 BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE)  
So I continued to see him at his place twice a week. I would only charge him for an hour but would usually do dinner and a movie.... Full session not usually included. but it always took up my whole night. I guess that was my first mistake giving him a discount because he began to think of me as his girlfriend (IMO) ... kept asking me to meet him and his boss for lunch, go to friends houses for bbqs and his family was in town and he got angry that I refused to meet them.... felt he was trying to be too personal at that point.... then he asked me to go on a hot air balloon with him.... OTC.... this was something I had always wanted to do so I agreed.... WELL that was the last time we visited because he was offended when I answered a phone call (from my sitter) every other time I ALWAYS kept my phone on silent during our time together and gave him my undivided attention... He gave me attitude told me to get off my damn phone that i was on HIS TIME and then continued to harass me the rest of the ride home.... he tried to call on several occasions and set something up.... but always seemed to be inviting me to OTC situations so i told him i was no longer interested and that i thought he had gotten off course with our "agreement"

...Back in the day, I had over 200 of them and so did nicky.  All I said was someone could sign up for a new handle and it has a similar effect as an alias.

As for Jack, I don't care who he is and I wouldn't waste 30 seconds trying to figure it out.

Consider this a brushback, not an HBP.

...you're comparing taking a hit by a post with actual physical violence.  Only an idiot would think or say something like that.

On to 'searching' again I see....same thing recycled over and over.

anything he can get those lil greedy hands on for what he calls his 'game'. Everyone knows a handle with an empty envelope and a lightface font with no envelope, are two in one in the same thing.  

that's your gig, not mine. Says a lot about the gentlemen on this board however.  

There are many things here in this world a man and a woman will never understand about what goes on in the minds of each other unless they could magically switch places. Which obviously can never happen. Which is why things always need to be kept simple....simply don't question the system and all will be good for everyone involved. You have to think of it as any other business deal, no matter what takes place by either party.

Now that is just sad. Obsessed much

to make up for it. Don't be a talker and just do it. It's that simple. And don't convince yourself otherwise either. You're only fooling yourself.  

Not sure why you brought up Minnie Minoso, who was a fine middle infielder for the White Sox.  I compare Tardlor to Minnie Mendoza, the not-so-fine player for the Twins, about whom George Brett coined the infamous "Mendoza Line," a pathetically low batting average (usually considered to be .200).  Tardlor's batting average of being right in her many guesses here is well below The Mendoza Line.  Hence, I often call her Minnie.  Here's the real one. Rigoberto "Minnie" Mendoza

know who it is, that's the point. Alias or handle. Listen, we can debate this topic til the cows come home but I only have beef with only one person here and it's not GAG or even ADJ for that fact. There is only one idiot here and it ain't me no matter how much you guys pool together. This guy's words speak for themselves no matter how he tries to make himself look, that's what he doesn't understand.  

my problem with you Nick. You just don't have a damn clue and it's sad to me. I know there is no changing but for a man to keep calling a woman 'idiot' and every other name in the book as you have without even knowing someone, pretty wrong in my book, doesn't matter what goes down. Learn much from your mother? Perhaps it's time you dive back within yourself and learn just what it is to respect a woman and perhaps you'll get what you're really looking for in this world instead of being an empty shallow old man.

You seem to have a beef with the entire board.

on this thing is wrong at least on my end. It's never real time, always 3 hours off. You have fun being a complete ass don't ya? But I know how this is oddly fun for you so I always tuck that back in my mind when I partake in this board and you seem to show up working your antics as usual. I would bet that any normal man who actually knows how to treat a woman and who would actually take the time to read your infantile posts, I guarantee is rolling on the floor laughing at how pathetic of a man you are and the things you resort to to try to make yourself look like a god on here. I guarantee he's simply shaking his head telling me, no, not all guys are like this.

-- Modified on 3/19/2014 4:33:07 AM

The difference being, they actually know me.  You, of course, do not.  And never will. Whew!  Listen, Minnie, I'm not the one coming here and flaming out, time after time, then re-emerging clueless as ever.  And remember, I know people who know you.  Let's just say your behavior here is consistent with what they've said.

At your age, you need all the beauty sleep you can get.  Maybe that's what you do during your frequent post-meltdown hiatuses here.  Hang upside-down like  a bat and sleep a lot.
And, talk about antics, read your last few posts.  Looks like you are rushing headlong into a very early melt-down.

And that the rebuff does not effect her business with the guy. Some guys get upset and then refuse to see the lady. She loses income, the very reason she is doing this.  

We are on. Always. Even if we are "friends", and no matter how close you think we are.

I always think it's strange that a girl's misbehavior is brought up as a counterpoint to this kind of thing. If she asks you for money, she's just someone else you know that probably isn't as good with theirs. If she's "not in the mood" or doesn't provide the service you want, you are in fact a grown man. You can walk out. These aren't "different types of relationships", these are bad service providers.  
 
Don't take this the wrong way, but it's not that confusing. You're either a client or a boyfriend, and if you are still confused, it's because you're not the latter.  
 
Just because we go to dinner, or give you extra time, or plan something special for you does not mean we want more, it just means we value you as a customer. Guys seem to use OTC time to gauge a lot of different things, and they're wrong. We really are just extending a thank you because dude, we get it. You did not have to come by and we appreciate it, so we give our time pretty freely to those we can see deserve it.  
 
More would know this if they'd just let us be nice to them. Unfortunately, the major mistake that most make is nagging, either by repeatedly asking or repeatedly staying. Tossing the idea over your shoulder on the way out is one thing, but in order to earn the title of a valued client, you first have to show that you respect our time, energy, and business.

If you really feel this way Figure out how much you hurt her financially, and give it to her to fix some, if not all, of the emotional.

Sounds to me like you already take advantage of her by overstaying, and now you want her to go out with you for free? Yeah, I'd be insulted.

I feel pretty damn lucky that it works for me 9 times out of 10.

...plate so he could get on base by HBP.  Similarly, by her posts, Taylor is just asking for a little chin music and inevitably gets HBPosts.

Whats Taylor's point?  She's not getting on base.  Not remotely scoring. So what's the answer? Masochism? Craves attention? I guess even if it's negative it's better than being lonely and ignored.