I'm just nosing around the boards....so quiet these days! And I saw your interesting post.
We actually get paid for our social energy. And every person only has so much quality social energy to share with others. If she is so low volume then a dinner date with you has the potential of removing a days work from her agenda. I have a civilian I've seen part-time for years, he was never a client, and he always adds to my reserves, especially since there are not the concerns of privacy, safety, reputation, and control that providers typically deal with in professional encounters. Enjoy her company in any format that adds to the quality and enjoyment of both your lives
Who knows, she may be game. XOXO, Chrissy Kisses
I've been seeing a regular for a few months now, every two weeks for two hours. We get along very well, obviously.
I'd like to take her out for a really nice dinner somewhere (her choice, so long as I don't need to wear a coat and tie) at a time and day of her choosing, but I don't think it should be on the clock. We always run over on our sessions which she doesn't mind, she's not a clock watcher and Very low volume. Since there would be no sex before or after (unless she gives me a BJ under the table), I don't feel that I should have to pass an envelope if I'm picking up the tab on a $100 to $200 meal, maybe more if she likes wine.
Finally the newb question: If you were this provider, would you be insulted by being asked out for dinner under these circumstances (no sex), but asked for it to be OTC?
but you are asking her out on a "date" where if I read you correctly, there will be zero compensation for her spending the best part of an evening with her. Unless she likes you as more than a client I would prepare to be turned down.
Now I do have a suggestion that might make it a win for both of you. Suggest booking your usual 2 hr session (on the clock of course) followed by an OTC nice dinner. this way she doesn't lose an entire evening's worth of work, you get laid, and you spend a little quality time together, She might still say no, but you have much better odds this way.
Just remember, until she says otherwise she is not your "date", she is a professional providing a service.
our usual time is morning. She has told me multiple times that she never sees more than one guy a day, four days a week max. She can make what she needs to make with that volume. Maybe I could mix things up a bit and move the time one week to just after work and then dinner or whatever.
Do you suggest sex before or after eating? We probably won't have a couple hours to digest after dinner and before the main course.
I don't get the impression that she's a picky eater and if we're going to get really randy during the session (which is how things have been progressing), maybe a full stomach is not a good idea.
Thanks for the suggestion.
Mainly because your intestines can do nasty stuff when digesting and your breath might stink. But everyone's different. There's no right answer on this.
Aside from the problematic nature of food digestion sex is more comfortable when your stomach is not full.
And all the booz.
Dropped a major deuce at the poor girl's incall. Needed a shower. Thought it didn't come out of his time. Funny thing about that dude. He could act like a total tard but was so goofy/funny people liked him anyway.
If that was his iq lmao But yeah, he was a funny dude. I wonder if he's still around.
it will also make for a more relaxed dinner afterwards, you can take your lead from her how long it will last.
Lots of ladies don't like to have sex on a full stomach, and taking the time for the food to digest might turn your "date" into an all evening affair lasting 6-8 hours, which she might see as taking advantage of her time.
Just remember, she might not have the slightest interest in going out on a "date" don't push too hard or you might be looking for a new ATF if she thinks you are looking to "cross lines" uninvited
I hope that my doctor and lawyer will hang out with me for free for dinner too when I don't see them otherwise...Unless you're that good looking...Seriously, you have enough reviews to know that OTC time is for good customers, with whom they've likely built up enough of a business relationship, on THEIR initiative NOT yours. Unless you are Tidwell, you shouldn't be looking for your future love or a friend you don't pay here.
-- Modified on 3/18/2014 11:17:07 PM
It' tax season so I met my accountant for lunch. We talked about my return for 20 minutes then about the March madness brackets for 40 minutes. He billed me for an hour...and I picked up the lunch tab. I didn't complain, no matter how we loved talking sports he was at work and billed me for the time spent wit me. It's the same principal.
I pretty much ONLY drink on dates, by choice. It is nice to be wined and dined...but that is NOT why I am here. I am here to make an income. I can always buy a nice dinner myself, if I want to.
If I am with you...I am not doing productive work, I am not checking email, I am not studying for my classes, I am not with my family, I am not relaxing. Instead, I am staying out late and drinking...I am kissing a client's ass and treating him like I would rather be nowhere else in the world...as if listening to his stories is the most fulfilling thing I have done all month.. If a client wants to be treated that way...that is what is known as a SERVICE.
Time is money. Many of us have other jobs and other obligations. Your post is exactly why some girls learn early to watch the clock, even with the nice guys...she has been nice enough so far to let you slide as far as time goes.. Don't make her sorry for extending her generosity to you, by expecting MORE free time. She will just start to resent you.
-- Modified on 3/18/2014 2:04:28 PM
And it's always with someone I've already done a few paid sessions with and it's pretty clear we get along. On several occasions I simply spontaneously asked because it was around dinner time. All I've said is, "if you don't have another appointment for a while, I'd be happy to buy you dinner, just friends." The answer has almost always been, "yes."
Another approach that's been successful when setting up a dinner with another monger and his date is to ask her if you can book a session and then take her out to dinner OTC. That way she can plan her schedule in advance. Again, most girls are happy to, assuming they actually enjoy your company. You just have to trust your gut on this one.
My guiding principle is, I'm happy to pay for sex, and I'm happy to buy someone I like dinner. I just won't pay her to watch her eat it. You'd be surprised at the number of girls who are perfectly happy with this arrangement. None of them have seemed insulted by the offer.
Oh, and I don't thing it's a stupid question. Lots of guys enjoy this but are afraid to ask..
-- Modified on 3/18/2014 5:05:12 PM
She's low volume, hell yes she gets paid for her time NOT what she does during that time, come on?!
This gets old fast trust me...especially if she's very low volume...sure she likes you, sure she's not a clock watcher that means she's a quality provider.... NOT your wife! It doesn't mean she's about to give away 2 or more of her precious hours going out to a nice dinner, she may be able to do that on her own...she may have other things besides making money she could be doing,
Maybe tending to family. Or maybe she could also make some money during that time. This is a clear way to ruin a good thing, do not think it is appropriate..it's not.
Do you respect and value her? Do you want her to think-you think- her time is not worth it?
It's her time....come on?!
Also what the hell happens when your all done with that fine wine and dinner and your horny but already agreed this "was off the clock" what would you do, try to extend at the last minute? I suggest going thru and reading some upscale women's websites where a whole ton of them address this very issue...
They do so for a reason.
Life is about give & take and everything's a trade off. Do yourself a favor and try to keep it fair and even -as per her rates, even if she's nice enough to let it happen once it only breeds grounds for future resentment!!
I'm just nosing around the boards....so quiet these days! And I saw your interesting post.
We actually get paid for our social energy. And every person only has so much quality social energy to share with others. If she is so low volume then a dinner date with you has the potential of removing a days work from her agenda.
I have a civilian I've seen part-time for years, he was never a client, and he always adds to my reserves, especially since there are not the concerns of privacy, safety, reputation, and control that providers typically deal with in professional encounters.
Enjoy her company in any format that adds to the quality and enjoyment of both your lives Who knows, she may be game.
XOXO,
Chrissy Kisses
or two after the sex, and have even met them at the bar for drinks before the sex. But sex and envelope was always there. I would much prefer that such an OTC request come from the gal and not from the guy, unless you are absolutely interested in dating the provider. Your asking her for OTC time in such a way sends the same exact message. The envelope and sex, you see, keep things simple -at least for me.
Honestly, she's already giving you a good amount of time OTC. Be thankful and if she wants to offer she will. If you ask, she may never.
This isn't a date. You aren't taking her out "off the clock". YOU are off your own personal definition of a clock. She is not. She's doing everything she normally has to, but doesn't have the option of bopping you if there's an awkward silence.
As someone who likes to give back to regulars in such a way, she is giving you an inch. Don't gun for the mile and blow it.
understand. You guys have something great going with a woman and then ya'all gotta fuck it up thinking you don't have to 'buy' more time even when she's giving you some more as it is.
It's simple:
DO NOT ABUSE THE SYSTEM or it will go down and go down bad. I will never understand this when things get 'comfortable' why all the sudden the game changes according to 'him'.
PSA announcement...It doesn't and it shouldn't so stop thinking it could.
She is here to make money for her own reasons, respect that wish unless SHE offers it first. You don't ask...ever. Leave it up to her and don't ever assume anything. Your gig will go down the tubes in a heartbeat. So ask yourself if it's worth messing up over a $200 dinner. Enjoy what you have but don't push it. Dammit, this pisses me off.
It's all about respect. So respect 'it' and respect 'her'. Thank you.
It's a simple question the gal can say yes or no to. It's not degrading, demeaning or disrespectful in any way. Maybe she'd like to go out on a date w/o $ involved one time? You can't speak for her.
Yeah, he'll proly get shot down but I'm gonna guess they'll both get through it.
This "you don't ask...ever" bullshit is just that. Bullshit.
situation personally, fuck yea, I'll say it pisses me off. Bullshit or not according to you. Read my post to Nick and maybe you'll get a clue too. Until then go play with Nick in the sandbox. Come back when you get the sand out of your ass, maybe he'll help you with that.
Oh....sorry...i forgot...in your warped, sick, bizarro world, I just "abused" you. My apologies.
you are anyhow, so it's no wonder. Go figure. Boy I had you pegged from a mile ago. LMAO. There's nothing more sick, warped and bizarre than what goes on in the minds of some of you typical posters here. Scary, it's no wonder why you're here. Just don't come knockin on my door, not that you ever will, thank God for that.
And be original, don't use my words. Thanks.
Einstein
...didn't do the same thing? It has the same effect.
anything he can get those lil greedy hands on for what he calls his 'game'. Everyone knows a handle with an empty envelope and a lightface font with no envelope, are two in one in the same thing.
BigP, you have to understand, this is coming from a gentleman who has convinced himself he's God's Gift to Hookerland here and the GD board. And what he says is the almighty 'word'. Yes, I know, ridiculous. And he certainly doesn't like being 'challenged' although he'll deny it, but that's how I see it. Proof is in the pudding because the minute he is, the claws come out like he's a lil b**** and the name calling and attacks go full steam ahead (no pun intended with the continuous childish train wreck pix (just look below lol)....talk about RECYCLED.
I'm personally still convinced he has to be a 4th grader hiding in a grown man's body to consistently pull stunts like this over and over. How could a grown man really do this lol? If only he could understand posting like a child is so unattractive to women. Jesus H Christ on a cracker, it's not rocket science. I wonder how many posts I could pull up with his train wreck photos over the years, now that would be funny or how many times he's called someone a made-up-Nick-name. It's too bad he couldn't muster up all that goodness for something worthy at least like ending Cancer or putting a stop to World Hunger. Geezk.
Plus...I'm sure you can figure out who 'Jack' is for that matter.
-- Modified on 3/19/2014 2:05:37 AM
...Back in the day, I had over 200 of them and so did nicky. All I said was someone could sign up for a new handle and it has a similar effect as an alias.
As for Jack, I don't care who he is and I wouldn't waste 30 seconds trying to figure it out.
Consider this a brushback, not an HBP.
know who it is, that's the point. Alias or handle. Listen, we can debate this topic til the cows come home but I only have beef with only one person here and it's not GAG or even ADJ for that fact. There is only one idiot here and it ain't me no matter how much you guys pool together. This guy's words speak for themselves no matter how he tries to make himself look, that's what he doesn't understand.
There will never an olive branch extension in this respect with someone who acts like that, ever. Hell, if I can make peace with Panthera (at least he acts like a grown man) then that speaks volumes for this guy.
-- Modified on 3/19/2014 4:21:01 AM
You seem to have a beef with the entire board.
Now that is just sad. Obsessed much
on this thing is wrong at least on my end. It's never real time, always 3 hours off. You have fun being a complete ass don't ya? But I know how this is oddly fun for you so I always tuck that back in my mind when I partake in this board and you seem to show up working your antics as usual. I would bet that any normal man who actually knows how to treat a woman and who would actually take the time to read your infantile posts, I guarantee is rolling on the floor laughing at how pathetic of a man you are and the things you resort to to try to make yourself look like a god on here. I guarantee he's simply shaking his head telling me, no, not all guys are like this.
-- Modified on 3/19/2014 4:33:07 AM
At your age, you need all the beauty sleep you can get. Maybe that's what you do during your frequent post-meltdown hiatuses here. Hang upside-down like a bat and sleep a lot.
And, talk about antics, read your last few posts. Looks like you are rushing headlong into a very early melt-down.
my problem with you Nick. You just don't have a damn clue and it's sad to me. I know there is no changing but for a man to keep calling a woman 'idiot' and every other name in the book as you have without even knowing someone, pretty wrong in my book, doesn't matter what goes down. Learn much from your mother? Perhaps it's time you dive back within yourself and learn just what it is to respect a woman and perhaps you'll get what you're really looking for in this world instead of being an empty shallow old man.
The difference being, they actually know me. You, of course, do not. And never will. Whew! Listen, Minnie, I'm not the one coming here and flaming out, time after time, then re-emerging clueless as ever. And remember, I know people who know you. Let's just say your behavior here is consistent with what they've said.
A search can readily find your same arguments recycled over and over.
On to 'searching' again I see....same thing recycled over and over.
Her next flameout can't be far off
You are such a pathetic old man it's nauseating. Buy a damn clue. Do me a favor and stay far far away from anything to do about me. And no, you will never have my support. Ever.
PS: And, Minnie, do you really think you know the first thing about me? You don't. You never have. Each time you've confidently stated something you thought you "knew" about me, you've been wrong. Which is why you are TER's Minnie Mendoza. Actually, calling you Minnie Mendoza insults Minnie Mendoza, who at least batter .180. You are far, far below that.
that's your gig, not mine. Says a lot about the gentlemen on this board however.
Thank you....again. For proving my point.
-- Modified on 3/19/2014 2:16:11 AM
...you're comparing taking a hit by a post with actual physical violence. Only an idiot would think or say something like that.
Not sure why you brought up Minnie Minoso, who was a fine middle infielder for the White Sox. I compare Tardlor to Minnie Mendoza, the not-so-fine player for the Twins, about whom George Brett coined the infamous "Mendoza Line," a pathetically low batting average (usually considered to be .200). Tardlor's batting average of being right in her many guesses here is well below The Mendoza Line. Hence, I often call her Minnie. Here's the real one. Rigoberto "Minnie" Mendoza
...plate so he could get on base by HBP. Similarly, by her posts, Taylor is just asking for a little chin music and inevitably gets HBPosts.
Whats Taylor's point? She's not getting on base. Not remotely scoring. So what's the answer? Masochism? Craves attention? I guess even if it's negative it's better than being lonely and ignored.
And that the rebuff does not effect her business with the guy. Some guys get upset and then refuse to see the lady. She loses income, the very reason she is doing this.
And yes I am speaking for most of the ladies because if they were only in it for the sex, they would be giving it away for free with the men of THEIR choice. This is business from the ground up. Nothing saying business associates cannot be friendly, but first and foremost, it is a business.
So no problem with the asking, just do not expect a yes and get annoyed/hurt when it might be a polite "no".
And, no, I won't try to 'splain "it" to you. That time has long since passed. Suffice it to say that many of the women I've seen (and reviewed) are happy to join me for dinner after a session, either planned or not, and it's OTC. That's the only way it's going to happen, so I guess they must be getting something out of it and not feeling abused or presumed upon.
Clearly, you are not alone in your belief but why would you assume everyone is, or should be, like you? This is not a one-size-fits-all or cookie-cutter world. But I guess it is for you.
BTW, I respect the women who, for their own reasons, don't want to do this. I only have a problem with the ones who are judgmental about it, and about the women I know who enjoy it with the right guy.
-- Modified on 3/18/2014 8:31:57 PM
you or your posting impresses me on any level. Sorry about that. I do wish I could say otherwise, but I just can't lol.
And for the last time I am not speaking for everyone, I'm speaking for myself and my opinion and for what could be the opinion of other WOMEN in this world. Stop with the fucking judgment talk and find something else to pick at.
Last time I checked you are a gentlemen in this world are you not? I don't think you are a woman running a business here so I don't suppose you could POSSIBLY understand what's really going on in her mind despite what you think or no matter what women tell you. Although I'm quite certain, you are convinced you are right at just about anything that has to do with this hobby including what really goes on in the hearts and minds of women here. Don't get me started on how you clearly don't understand women on any level no matter how much you think you do or have us figured out...in any world for that matter. You have no idea on what makes a woman really tick, but that's a whole other conversation and I'll save that for another time. You are an interested character, that's for sure.
Why don't you and Jack go play in the sandbox together where you belong. Only a woman's answer has any clout here.....this question is not for you.
Hmmmm....why to I think this is your usual total crock of crap
all of those PMs come from the same guy. Turd... well...
Are these women "on" or do you prefer they relax and since it is OTC, be themselves without worrying that you would penalize them later by not booking them?
That would be my only concern if it were me.
We know each other well enough, both in bed and out of it, so there are no games. Sometimes the OTC meal is their idea, so they hardly need to be "on." Look, I"m certainly not saying this is the norm, just that it can happen. And must be handled with care.
When two people actually like each other, and also haven't seen each other for a couple of months, they have lots of stories to tell.
And not meant to provoke anything negative. I think what you have managed to achieve is fine. Both parties seem to be happy and that is all anyone asks for at the end of the day.
Clearly there has been enough communication between you and the ladies and you seem to have this whole deal in perspective. Some guys don't and never will.
We are on. Always. Even if we are "friends", and no matter how close you think we are.
Do I relax with certain people more than others? Certainly. But at the end of the day I could still say something to piss you off and then boom, I'm down a customer. Even OTC time has an influence on the way the he sees me, so I still can't fuck it up. Our job is to make you think we're not at work, right?
To be fair, I have also ditched clients because of their behavior during OTC time. I DO expect to be able to relax a bit if I'm spending extra time with you, because 1) you're not paying me and hey, we're all human and 2) I probably like hanging out with you on a personal level, instead of just the client/provider level. Some guys seem to lose their minds about it though, and we just ain't got the time.
I feel pretty damn lucky that it works for me 9 times out of 10.
Your asking her for OTC time makes the boundaries of your relationship fuzzy and implies you do not value her time.
Why would she go out to dinner with you when she can have dinner with her family, friends, or even a significant other. (Yes, many ladies hide when they are married or actively dating. Surprise!) Perhaps she has another job, lots of charity works, other things in her life that draw her to the flexible schedule part-time providing allows. It is quite presumptuous to assume that you have ANY part in her non-session real world. If she wants to see you socially, as a friend, she would tell you.
.02
What's your intent? Are you romantically interested
At least not in the traditional sense. I am not romantically interested. I pay her for sex but we like each other. So we can grab a meal together, hang out, swap stories and laugh. That's it. Friendship, just not the usual kind.
Tells me that his intentions are that of romance and not friendship.
It's one thing to take a provider that I'm friendly with out to dinner (as friends) after a nice session. I don't think about it much.
However, I'd only go out of my way tinkering around with the evening plan, thinking through for several hours on end, pondering, looking up 5 star restaurants and planning the event, and wondering how to go about it unless I had real romantic interests and intent.
Seems the OP is spending an inordinate amount of effort on this OTC dinner event.
She already goes over her time with you. Why don't you book a 3 hour date with her including dinner I'm betting you'll get some action before AND after dinner and OTC as well. It would be a nice way to show your appreciation for her generosity since you met her.
Just a thought!
Steph
I'll simply add that I don't believe asking for a "civvie" type dinner date is insulting; it is more an issue of opening up the door for abuse of kindness and building resentment. She may say yes, and you may feel it is a mutual desire... but in the end it is you manipulating and taking advantage. And you probably won't even realize you are doing it.
I've been the asshole who did this; fucked up a wonderful thing, hurt someone I liked very much emotionally and financially. And there is no way to make up for it, no matter that you might want to.
You don't want to risk going there. It sucks.
And I might add that the balance of "power" is interesting in this situation. "You" (generally speaking) are the buyer and she depends on your money as part of her income. To put her on the spot by asking out OTC after she already gives more time might place her in a sticky situation in that she might feel she HAS to in order to keep "you" as a client, thus the insidious feeling of manipulation some have spoken of.
If it was me, I would say to the client, I am not "on" so you get the real me. If you don't want to see the real me, maybe we best not do this so as to ruin your illusion of me. If you can deal with that, let's go.
Mind you, I would only do this if I did not care if he called again or not.
If it was a guy that was a good client, I would respectfully decline the offer as I still would not want to be "on" for free. If he ditched me, then I would know immediately I was being manipulated and dodged a bigger bullet down the line.
And then again sometimes two people get it together and it works out fine.
to make up for it. Don't be a talker and just do it. It's that simple. And don't convince yourself otherwise either. You're only fooling yourself.
Fix it.
-- Modified on 3/19/2014 4:09:17 AM
If you really feel this way Figure out how much you hurt her financially, and give it to her to fix some, if not all, of the emotional.
"I'd like to take her out for a really nice dinner..."
If you were to ask her for a really nice BJ, dropping the envelope would be expected.
If you'd like a really nice doggy style, you'd drop the envelope.
If you asked her for a really nice striptease... You get the idea.
This is what YOU'D LIKE. She complies for the envelope.
You'd like to experience something special with her.
Each time you see her, maybe that special experience is something new.
THIS time that special experience is taking her out to dinner.
Sounds rewarding. Be seen with her. See her in a new light. GREAT experience.
So... DROP THE ENVELOPE!
Next time you might decide you'd "like" to do something else.
I'm just such a gorgeous, sexy stud that when I pay for a lady's time she always wants to blow me, fuck me and then blow me again.
But seriously, you are paying for her time and companionship. If you wish to take her to dinner, or a show, she is still providing you companionship. I personally don't care to pay to watch a woman sleep, so I probably will never do an overnight. But I have done a show before, I wanted to see this show and wanted companionship. So I booked the date and time paid her rate for an amount of time to include fun before, then the show and fun after. She provided me with an absolute amazing evening, I provided her, her full rate for the amount of time together. I'll never know for sure, because I didn't attempt to negotiate with her, but I assume it wouldn't have been so awesome if I would have attempted to be cheap and talk her down because it wasn't action the entire time.
I never see a lady that upsells a second time, but I also never try to negotiate a lady's rate for her companionship. I find, an emphasis on I find, if you take care of the business discretely meaning pay the advertised rate in an envelope without acknowledging it, the fun time is very fun and rewarding, and then it's over and you both move on with your respective lives. I find, it's really quite simple, and as far as I'm concerned it's perfect.
asking me to go out for dinner with him alone----just as friends.
I like my boss. I genuinely do---what I know of him, anyway. And, while I've never socialized with him (outside of professional events) I strongly suspect we would get along very well because, again, I 'suspect' that he and I share very similar world views and, if we found ourselves in a situation in which neither of us were "on" professionally, we would have a good time (completely platonically).
But if my boss were to ask me to go to dinner with him alone, I would immediately find myself in a very awkward position. What if I say no? What if I say yes? What if I say yes and actually abandon the professional barriers? What if, what if.....? This is my job.
And I have spent a helluva a lot more time with his guy than I would have seeing a provider regularly for 'a few months'.
The fact that you say: "Since there would be no sex before or after (unless she gives me a BJ under the table)" more than suggests that you do have some ulterior motive beyond simply having dinner with a friend (which---she really is not, other than professionally).
What would you do and how would you feel if she says no? Would you still keep seeing her? PLease do not abuse the extra time she gives you now. And don't EVER assume she is as in to you as you are to her. If she is a professional, she will make darn sure you feel as if she is, emphasis on the FEEL portion.
And only seeing her for a "few months", bi-monthly which might add up to 8 sessions in say 4 months, less if the "few" is less than four months, may or may not be enough time for her to trust you in so far as to feel you would not try to take advantage of her. From where I sit, you are. You are going to test her to see how far you can push things. And I will hazard a guess you want some physical contact while on this date. Yes it is a guess on my part but my gut tells me you would attempt it.
If I were the provider and I was okay with things so far I might say yes but if you placed one foot over that boundary line, that would be the last time and I would then have "other things" to do after the paid for time.
If you are taking up her time, time she could be earning income, then you need to compensate her at her normal rate.
Sounds like she already cuts you slack with extra time.
Don't mess it up by getting greedy.
as this isn't about grabbing a bite after a session if she happens to be free.
This is about asking her to reserve a block of time in her schedule just to have dinner with you.
What if she did this with every client? She'd end up with a lot of great meals and not much else (except for perhaps an extra 20 lbs or so after a few months).
There are probably many people who would truly value your company and greatly appreciate the geneous act of you providing a nice meal. Cultivate real relationships with such people if you can.
I have met some wonderful ladies in my year of hobbying, and have had some great sex and fun conversation during my dates (usually 2 hours), but I also have enough self worth and dignity that I would never pay someone hundreds of $ an hour just to sit and eat with me. I have plenty of friends already for that.
Ive been in this situation and Ended up Losing a good regular over it.
I am a fairly low volume provider... Not a clock watcher... and IMO I take time to talk to and listen to all my clients even if we go over our scheduled time. I was seeing a client for over a year. We lived in different states but he would send for me to come out to his state (NM) every other month... while I was in his city he would usually visit me twice and even though he paid me (up front) to travel to him He still knew he had to pay to visit with me once i was there... He was a total sweet heart in the beginning and we got along great.
Strangely enough after about a year and 1/2 he suddenly got "transferred" to the same city and state where I Live (ACTUALLY 2 BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE)
So I continued to see him at his place twice a week. I would only charge him for an hour but would usually do dinner and a movie.... Full session not usually included. but it always took up my whole night. I guess that was my first mistake giving him a discount because he began to think of me as his girlfriend (IMO) ... kept asking me to meet him and his boss for lunch, go to friends houses for bbqs and his family was in town and he got angry that I refused to meet them.... felt he was trying to be too personal at that point.... then he asked me to go on a hot air balloon with him.... OTC.... this was something I had always wanted to do so I agreed.... WELL that was the last time we visited because he was offended when I answered a phone call (from my sitter) every other time I ALWAYS kept my phone on silent during our time together and gave him my undivided attention... He gave me attitude told me to get off my damn phone that i was on HIS TIME and then continued to harass me the rest of the ride home.... he tried to call on several occasions and set something up.... but always seemed to be inviting me to OTC situations so i told him i was no longer interested and that i thought he had gotten off course with our "agreement"
LONG STORY SHORT I dont think she would appreciate you bringing up the fact that your paying for dinner so her time should be free because if she wanted to eat hopefully she could afford that herself....
Maybe ask if she would like to grab a bite to eat before or after the normal session.... but understand that it should be On The Clock..... just a suggestion
I always think it's strange that a girl's misbehavior is brought up as a counterpoint to this kind of thing. If she asks you for money, she's just someone else you know that probably isn't as good with theirs. If she's "not in the mood" or doesn't provide the service you want, you are in fact a grown man. You can walk out. These aren't "different types of relationships", these are bad service providers.
Don't take this the wrong way, but it's not that confusing. You're either a client or a boyfriend, and if you are still confused, it's because you're not the latter.
Just because we go to dinner, or give you extra time, or plan something special for you does not mean we want more, it just means we value you as a customer. Guys seem to use OTC time to gauge a lot of different things, and they're wrong. We really are just extending a thank you because dude, we get it. You did not have to come by and we appreciate it, so we give our time pretty freely to those we can see deserve it.
More would know this if they'd just let us be nice to them. Unfortunately, the major mistake that most make is nagging, either by repeatedly asking or repeatedly staying. Tossing the idea over your shoulder on the way out is one thing, but in order to earn the title of a valued client, you first have to show that you respect our time, energy, and business.
Sounds to me like you already take advantage of her by overstaying, and now you want her to go out with you for free? Yeah, I'd be insulted.