If you say it hasn't changed you, then you're a newbie, because you can't help but be changed by this life style. But like many things, it is a 2 edged sword. It can have both positive and negative aspects.

If you feel like participating, post 2 things in each category that you feel has changed with you as a result of living this life style.

My good changes:
1. It has taught me some social skills I didn't have before.
2. It has taught me to be more confident in who I am and not be afraid of the opinions of others.

My bad changes:
1. It has made me more cynical about long term relationships.
2. And the worst..... it has made me hate the idea of ever working for a BOSS ever again lol.

How has it changed you?

Marie

all to have more $ for hobbying.

So, I should be getting some carbon tax credits, shouldn't I?

On a more serious note, I think I have become more sociable, in a manner of speaking of course.

Mostly, I just enjoy life more.

Positives:

*I sometimes get sex now.
*I've met some interesting people.

Negatives:

*It's expensive.
*It's risky.

Positive-

1. Since I've been married most of my adult life and have had no affairs, the hobby has helped me in distinguishing between lust and love. I'd have one less marriage under my belt if I had learned that sooner.

2. Been able to have times, and enjoy them when everything was all about me, though there have also been times when just as much time and attention was placed on mutual pleasuring.

Negative-

1. Possibly putting my career in jeopardy, and the fear surrounding that.

2. It's something I don't think of as being wrong, yet I have no one, family or friends, I can talk to about it.

you know? I like this topic. Good one Marie!!

The good changes:
1. I am finally free to be the crazysexykewl freak of nature I am. what does that mean? I can have sex with just about anyone, anyway I choose. I have found what truly sexually pleases me (you dont want to know..only one person does. lol) and am free to explore. I have found me!

2. I love to travel. I love to have sex. I love to try new things....i can do all of this..and get paid for doing so! Oh!! This may sound weird...but I can meet those i would have never crossed paths with any other way. I have met some amazing people! I can't go back to a desk job...ever. sigh.

The bad changes:

1. I am running my own business, so I am in charge of EVERY little aspect. I have three businesses...so I often dont have time for a real life. I have no one to rely on but me...and at times, it gets to be a bit much.

2. I could never be in a committed relationship ever again, now that I have had this freedom. (ha! not that i was any good at it to begin with) I dont want to be chained to anyone..nor do i want to chain anyone to me. Jaded? Cynical? Pissy? A tad.

So, those are my major changes. I have learned who I am...and have finally come to terms with the fact that...

I am who I am. Ta Daaaaaaa!! Fuck what you heard. Go hard or go home!

god, i cant wait til i go to dubai!

-- Modified on 3/5/2010 1:33:11 PM

yes, this hobby has turned me into a man, It made more more confident with women and it helped me find ways of spending money on useful things. It also made me very very happy

don't even know where to begin

I am more or less a stay at home parent at thus point since I work very little and around the kids schedules. The #1 reason for doing this.

I have gained insight into men and what makes them tick more. I appreciate more about the men I meet. I feel like I get glimpses at "their side of the story" more than before. I see things more clearly.

I have become more of myself, I like it I like me for who this situation has brought out in me.

PLUS I have great shoes, great panties and a ton of both. Much better wardrobe now. I like being able to choose what wear when I go to work as apposed to a set style or so on. I am more of myself.

I love the frredom and time with my family best of all. this time is passing fast all will be moving out in a few yrs and I have spent the time I wanted to with them. lots of great memories and I have you guys to thank for this time with them. so...Thanks!

xo
Nicole

and am so much more confident about being desirable no matter what my age or body image might be.

I'm a better listener with much less judgemental interuptions than before.

I have learned that you can care deeply for someone and be contented for the good times you share and then walk away. In my younger days I thought separation was the worst part of any relationship but now I look forward to meeting my new friends and think less of the parting.

The worst thing I have learned is how to hide so much of me from family and friends. I sometimes feel there are two people walking in my shoes. I feel like I am one of the best liars when it comes to cover stories and this has to show in my character in some way.

Kisses Haley

to one man.

I am in no way jaded about relationships, and seek this type of freedom of expression with one person. (I know, good luck, right?)

Since I actually do have my own business, work for a company, and I am a mom, civvie dating is just SO pa se. It is so hard to find someone who can deal with my busy life. And when I do meet someone, he's retarded, tries to be my dad, or needs a lifetime prescription of Testemax.

I have always been open minded and accepting, I've got too much invested in my civvie job to quit, I've always had the freedom to be there for my baby, and it's a break from all the single retards I meet. Some of your wives are very lucky ladies...

I think because I don't do this full time, and when I do it's on my terms is why it isn't a negative. The hobby was a great addition to my chaotic life, and until I find that understanding, supportive man that makes me want to lick the skin  from his balls twice a day, I am glad to be apart of it.

Life changing experience I have ever encountered...and it has truly been Amazing. I have met the Best Guys and I don't have one negative thing to say about this lifestyle...so

My Good Changes:
1. My new lifestyle...since doing this I have been to three countries and have been invited to also visit some other states...I love traveling.

2. Not having a schedule...lol...doing whatever I want whenever I want. I love the life of leisure...not having to worry about going into work and Not enjoying it...but rather having Fun all the time!!!

My bad changes:
1. I now have a secret Life....and I'm Not good with secrets..lol...I am now

2. I Will Never want to punch a time clock again...and I don't even believe that is a bad thing...lol...

Since you "i cant wait til i go to dubai!" I'd be interested in what you'll find there from a provider's pov.

It has opened up a world of opportunity for me. Opportunity to meet with and experience a depth of interaction that has been lacking in my journey thus far. Wonderful people, direct communication. Sincerity. It's been good.

We should be friend girl, reading your post was almost like reading something I would write lol. Thanks for the input.

I also run 3 businesses (this being one of them) and tend to feel a bit overwhelmed. I have wanted to employ an assistant but it's difficult to find someone you can trust with all your info like that.

Before I got into this hobby I was in a training session at work and at the end we were all asked to make one confession and make a promise to change it. I admitted to the staff that I had been lying to myself for many years and it opened the door for me to lie to others and I didn't feel I had the level of integrity I personally wanted. So I said I made a commitment to change that, and I wasn't going to lie to myself anymore. I didn't tell them what I had been lying to myself about, that was none of their business. But 2 days later I quit my job, went on the road to LA, and started providing full time.

I have met some amazing people and it has opened the doors for other things and paved the way for me to get involved in other dreams I had not yet made real.

Thank you so much for sharing that

You either have to develop a thicker skin or you will end up getting swallowed up by the drama and lose sense of yourself and your whole purpose for being here.

Dear Ms. Marie:
I noticed that you were asking about the changes that providers and Hobbyist have withstood or observed in their lives since becoming participants of the hobby. I was just wondering have you had a chance to do an informal study with respect to has it changed the providers more in terms of their practices and their routines or the hobbyist in how they look for women to spend time with.  Also when providers and hobbyist return to their civilian interactions would you look at how the hobby has effected them and influenced certain predilections and characteristics that they would then seek in their significant others predicated on their experiences in the hobby. Your thoughts Ms. Marie. The underlying question is how much you'll charge me for the hour for your cerebral response.

Positive.....

1- It's re-awaken and reminded me of how much I truly need to express myself via passionate physical intimacy with a woman in order to feel right with myself.

Negative.....

2- It's re-awaken and reminded me of how much I truly need to express myself via passionate physical intimacy with a woman in order to feel right with myself.

ying yang thing. good as well as bad.
like anything this is just an extreme out on the edges of things so the down side will be extreme as well.

one substance could be either a poison or an antidote, given the particular circumstances.

positives
1. Im having sex with girls i would normally never have a chance with.
2. my sex skills are getting better
3. im more confident
4. i have meet some really wonderful girl

negatives
1. its risky
2. its expensive, i have been hobbying for 13 years.

My good changes would be:
1. I've met some really cool, wicked, far-out, beautiful, friendly, strange characters. Some I can truly call 'friend' and some I've had the pleasure of fucking. Some I will. This doesn't apply to the gents, of course.

2. I've never considered myself a 'conventional' person anyway, so this outlet has helped me to explore another side of life. It's truly been a trip, and I'm looking forward to more great times.

My bad changes:
1. Not having the sense enough when I was younger to do something more lucrative with my financial well-being so I can play more than I currently do.

2. Not starting it sooner!

My good changes:
1. It has taught me to be more kind to both women and men in my life including being a better listener and listening before speaking.
2. It has taught me to take better care of myself so I can live a better life.  My overall health has improved even though I have gained some years (haven't we all).
3. It has made me more aware of just how precious life is.  I would sometimes take things for granted, but, not anymore.  I cherish each and every relationship, even though I know it is a fantasy.
4.  I thank each and every provider who has shared precious time with me.

My bad changes:
1. It has taught me how to sometimes have to lie in order to cover my tracks.
2. While no regular needs go unfullfilled (mortage, food, etc.) I do realize that the money spent on hobbying could have been used elsewhere.  Because of this, I try to stay within budget at all times.

It's more than that.......

I've impaled myself on this sword.

In my case and I've only come to this realization recently.....

10+ years ago after a series of torrid relationships I misplaced the blame for my poor choice of women at the feet of my rapacious erotic appetite. A poorly informed rationale.

What ended up happening, even after taking over a year off from dating, one night stands, etc....was I went for what I determined to be the "safe" type of woman for a long term relationship. I choose wisely, too wisely. She is a good woman. I still had my tail between my legs and did not realize it. I thought I had "grown up". Now I know I was just knocked on my ass.

I figured I'd be happy "normal". For a while I was. Everything else clicks. However now, years after subconciously denying myself, I'm realizing that I came to the wrong conclusion, blaming my sexual nature for my poor choices in women. It had nothing to do with it. I was just being compulsive, greedy, living in the moment.

Now I find myself at the other extreme. Except in this case I can not stand even the thought of hurting someone who has been so good to me.

So I live in a self imposed Limbo between what I consider right and honorable and the freedom that an extraordinarily insensitive and hurtful set of actions could afford me.

Yes I do love her. In love? I don't think so. Could she ever become what it is, I now realize, I need (still) in a lover? I don't think so for many concrete reasons. She's not very giving and is very self-satisfaction oriented. Not in an obnoxious way either, it's just the way she is. She does not know how to be that person. I can not teach her.

I could sabotage the relationship, do things to make her despise me and want to be rid of me. Maybe that'll be easier on her. I've done things along those lines under general duress and stress. I know that it could probably work.

If I decide to let this relationship wither and die, I want to leave no room for any other conclusion than that I am the sole responsible blight at the root cause.

Crazy huh?



-- Modified on 3/5/2010 10:07:04 PM

-- Modified on 3/6/2010 12:07:53 AM

I've become much more confident about my relationships with women in general. I've learned much more about how to engage on different levels and then disengage when the time comes. I've become a much better lover. I've met some very, very cool folks.

I hate being so secretive but most people simply wouldn't understand how this hobby can be more than just 'dirty' fun.

   I entered the 'hobby' (still hate that term) to simply satisfy sexual urges. Sooo much more has occurred:

Positives:
1) Yes, I've met and enjoyed women I never would have otherwise.
2) I have refined what I really desire in a woman.

Negatives:
1) My primary savings account is in my sock drawer where I save for my next encounter.
2) I have become jaded as to what really motivates many women.

   Overall though, I am more comfortable with who I am and feel that, when the right girl comes along, I will be able to think with the big head.

As i want to travel the world...having sex...try new things...


and i MUST get to a FKK club. I have read up on them...and i have to get to Scotland too...and fracking China...and Greece!


there is a lot of things i want to do. Being chained to a SO or desk wouldnt allow me this freedom.

i work damn hard...and play just as hard. lol. its not often i cut myself a break..but when i do...

Go hard or go home!!

i am planning on going in august....
its only going to cost me about 7grand. I want to stay in a really really nice hotel on that Island of Palm thingy. With room service and the works. for that much money, the maid better get me off on demand. 24/7 booty call service.

http://www.atlantisthepalm.com/
when i do something, i do it in style. lol

after i finally visit vegas this year...

and for my 30th birthday in jan?

BACK TO RIO BABY!!

last time i was in Rio...omg. if i told ya, i would have to kill you.

I have not done any studies actually. This is the first I have thought to get input from others.

I have been in and out of the hobby since I was 20 and each time it is an adjustment, both ways. I think as long as you have a healthy self image and healthy outlook on sex and it's proper place in relationship with respect to how you behave outside a relationship, then there shouldn't be too much difficulty in making the switch. I think if either choice is made because of becoming unhappy with either life style and feeling a need for a change then there might be something a little deeper underlyin it all.

Email me girl, I would love to go with another provider, I think that would be awesome!

This has changed me for the better.

I have found myself in alot of ways am glad for the lifestyle change. I have learned about people and human behavior.

I am my own boss, I play on my time and work on my own time. This all fits into my crazy schedule. I finally have a job I love!

Traveling, photoshoots, meeting new people,....its a hard life but someone has to do it lol.

You can't get caught up in the bullshit and you can't let the (sometimes) harsh words of others make you change who you are or doubt your worth. If you don't develop a thick skin, the hobby can and will destroy you. Always remember who you are, what you are here for, and that you are WORTH IT-every God damn penny of it! Never forsake yourself to please someone else no matter what-be kind, be nice, but don't be THAT kind or nice. Trust me on that one.

Only 2? Ok... off the top of my head...
My good changes:
1. This has made me think much higher of men than ever before.
2. This had set some new standards and expectations on what to expect in any relationship - I used to take such crap from guys!

My bad changes:
1. I have withdrawn somewhat from my old mainstream friends - the double life is hard.
2. I would have a hard time working for someone else at an 8-5 job that didn't totally stimulate and engage me.

believe me, it is our pleasure to be able to help!!