I tried it, Then I analyzed the mechanics involved,  
deduced that the rest of the commotion would be repetitive motions of the same or similar acts  
over and over in every session.  Might as well just sit home.

When you develop the ability to respond to music, maybe you'll br able to enjoy some of these other aspects of life. You may even, to some small degree, find it possible to respect women as something other than animals. YMMV

The whole act is weird. I wish I didn't have to do it. I want to break and escape escape fom this cycle.

(paraphrasing)

What earthly reason is there for people getting excited about agitating a sack of gas?

Like the saying goes:  If you have to ask the question, then you'll never get it.

No wonder you're disappointed, I would be too!

And some abrupt squeezes (kegels) then the repetition gets a little mmm stale?

But its premise only holds true if you have no sensation in your cock, or don't enjoy repeating things that feel good.  But perhaps you are dead below the waist as well as above the neck.