A review that reminded me of Tolstoy's War and Peace.

Not necessarily in terms of length but more about the way it was written.  Even our thesaurus friend Duplicitous can learn a thing or two from this guy.

And looking at her web site.. perhaps there is a real reason for the inspiration

-- Modified on 3/26/2014 5:36:18 AM

The review is so poorly written I could only get two lines into it before Conan discovered so many errors in spelling and grammar (the guy clearly has no idea what tense means) I would not subject myself to any more abuse.

When I saw how BIG the review was... I'm like... what the fuck? How many hours did this guy take to write that drivel up?

I clicked through to see Natasha's pretty pictures instead. No more headache!

That's the first thing I noticed!

And in this case, that is so true!!!!

It was actually interesting how he spelled out the experience using imagery. Definitely not 5th grade writing!

... all I see is a cement block.

Im interested in knowing how you stumbled across it. And like the others, way to long to read, and when I saw only one paragraph break, as I scrolled down the review, I quickly hit the back button.

Posted By: Drunken Asian

Not necessarily in terms of length but more about the way it was written.  Even our thesaurus friend Duplicitous can learn a thing or two from this guy.  
   
 http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/showReview.asp?Review=860463  
   
 

Americans all consider me Asian, while actual Asians consider me American. Since I know more Americans than Asians, I just go along with the flow and call myself Asian.

Being born and raised here with mainly white/black/brown people as my peer group, I personally consider myself American, but my slanted eyes are tough to discount. Since there is very little remaining racism towards most Asians today, unlike the days of my youth where I was constantly forced to either eat shit or take on guys with 75 lbs of body weight on me, or sometimes several. I really don't spend much time today thinking about it.

I think if you start looking for it you will find it's your American friends that will refer to us "breeds" as Asian, while very few actual Asian people will do so.

I got about as far as you did, after a couple of sentences my head hurt and I saw no benefit to subjecting myself to any more abuse either.

Angel's posts, or even blablablue's are easier to follow.

Do you consider yourself more an asian or a caucasian,  or right in the middle?  

Three giant blocks of text just gives me a headache.

You're right, it's not 5th grade writing. Most 5th graders have learned how to use a paragraph break by that age. How did you even manage to read the whole thing? To be "descriptive" it has to be written so that the  average person can actually get further than a couple of sentences before concluding that whatever is at the end of the story isn't worth the painful journey required to get there.

I met natasha a while ago. Gorgeous girl. I never wrote a review though.  

That would be one possible explanation as to how you were able to subject yourself to such punishment for no real reward.

As for me, I never even got far enough to notice the punctuation. The only thing he could have done to create a bigger headache would have been to type it in all Caps.

The punctuation didn't help lol

NAtasha is amaaaaaaazing. Her rates not so much lol

Lol nice. Good interpretation of the action lol

...but after 156 reviews, he still writes the same way.

For the following line:

He gave it a quick scan and his eye just happened to fall on the "poultry lips."  Satan only knows what other gems still lurk there, undiscovered.