As  I reflect on all the wonderful chatter and whit and wisdom I have seen on these boards these past few days, I would like to share with you all some  funny quotes I have unearthed recently going through some old books and stuff. My absolute favorite is Oscar Wilde, the ultimate hedonist, who if he were alive today would definitely be a participant of this hobby.. although most likely with male providers.. In any event enjoy...

ON MARRIAGE...  " men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.

"There is no sin except stupidity"

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."

"what a fuss people make about fidelity. Why even in love it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful and are not, old men want to be faithless, and cannot."

" alittle sincerity is a dangerous thing. A great deal of it is absolutely fatal"

Richard Daley (the first) in 1968 after the Chicago cops beat up anti-war protestors:  "The police aren't there to create disorder, they are there to preserve disorder."

Saw this in a movie (can't remember the movie) the character, Lucinda, is played by Melanie Griffith ....

"I can resist anything but Temptation"




xoxo

Remember one thing about morality...it's always negotiable!

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction." - Blaise Pascal, Pensées

I saw this today in a news story/comentary on the civil strife in Africa.

"I'd like to set the record straight.  I thought the cop was a prostitute." -- Homer J. Simpson, Behind the Laughter.

well, i'm not sure if i have the right one but she did play "aunt lucille" in "crazy in alabama", and that sounds like something her character would say...
however, she stole the line from oscar wilde


abraham lincoln said: "it has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues"

w.c. fields said: "some things are better than sex and some are worse... but nothing is exactly like it"

but my favorite is jessica rabbit (in more ways than one who said "i'm not really bad, i'm just drawn that way!"

One of the ladies in NYC uses that Jessica Rabbit line...reminds me of that gorgeous Kim Bassinger in yet another flick with Brad Pitt ... She was "Hollywood"  boy is my memory out there...but I do remember the really important things....like what kind of high heels a man likes on me...heheheh, and where he likes to be tickled.

xoxoxo

-- Modified on 1/9/2003 8:05:49 PM

I liked when Penelope Cruz said the following line in Vanilla Sky


"Every passing moment is another opportunity to turn it all around"

Happy hobbying!

Don't remember where I heard it:

"He's in deep trouble.  Not only was she a cop, but he had tried to talk her down to seven dollars"

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."

(Woody Allen: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex)

Woody says, "You told me the next time I was in town I should look up your wife."

I thought I would never stop laughing when I heard that.

(I posted it once before.  Sorry to be a broken record)

Tragedy + Time = Comedy     (Neil Simon)

Tragedy + Time + Fantasy = Religion

Fantasy + Time = Ron Jeremy

Ron Jeremy + Time = Comedy


The last three are mine, so if you don't like them, just remember- it's Not Really Me!  

And no disrespect intended Ron, if you read this board.  You've been an inspiration to us all, you just need to drop 20 lbs.  (Hey, I'm hairy and fat and too, so I can say that).

Felicia,

Indeed the quote:

"I can resist anything but Temptation"

is attributed to Oscar Wilde ... chuck one up for Ferangi!

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Casey Stengel's baseball team had lost five straight games, and a reporter asked if the team's morale was poor.  He answered "It's not a question of morality!"

Sorry.. Did not read other messages from posters that recognized the wit of the great one.  One other note of interest. Oscar Wilde is the most quoted playwright second only to one other. Anyone care to guess who the number one most often quoted playwright is??

-- Modified on 1/10/2003 11:37:58 PM

In "Love and Death", he is seduced by a Russian Countess.  Awakening the next morning the room, and the Countess, are a shambles.  She rolls toward Allen and says:  You were wonderful last night!"

His reply:  "Well, I practice alot when I'm alone."

Ferangi, in regards to your question about the number one most often quoted playwright, my answer would be: William Shakespeare.

And speaking of great wits, how about these quotes by Miguel de Cervantes from "Don Quixote."

"A close mouth catches no flies."

"Those who'll play with cats must expect to be scratched."

"He that gives quickly gives twice."

"Walls have ears."

For your eloquent perusal

"Today's crisis is tomorrow's joke." H.G. Wells

"Be good and you will be lonesome." Mark Twain

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" Homer J. Simpson

"At my age flowers scare me!" George Burns

"Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad." W.C. Fields

"Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers." Socrates

And my all time favorite!!

"Cogito ergo Spud! (I think, therefore I YAM!) HiProGlo

Yep, you are right.. THough I don't remember reading many Shakespeare quotes that I would consider "witty". You know what I mean? The ones from Don Quiote are really good. You just get the sense when reading some of these one or two sentence barbs from Oscar that he is thumbing his nose sticking it to the British society of his time..
Lot of funny quotes on here..

-- Modified on 1/11/2003 9:06:06 PM

On my comments about great wits I was actually referring to Oscar Wilde. Shakespeare was in a completely different class. Sorry for the confusion. Great topic.

How appropriate isn't?

I love it!

Wouldn't that look great on business cards!? LOL!

Sedona

"When you have a son, you only have to worry about one dick. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all the others"
He is the father of two girls...

CI

That is great... Who is the author????