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Another from Woody Allenregular_smile
MooseLover 4795 reads
posted

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Ferangi6013 reads

As  I reflect on all the wonderful chatter and whit and wisdom I have seen on these boards these past few days, I would like to share with you all some  funny quotes I have unearthed recently going through some old books and stuff. My absolute favorite is Oscar Wilde, the ultimate hedonist, who if he were alive today would definitely be a participant of this hobby.. although most likely with male providers.. In any event enjoy...

ON MARRIAGE...  " men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.

"There is no sin except stupidity"

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."

"what a fuss people make about fidelity. Why even in love it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful and are not, old men want to be faithless, and cannot."

" alittle sincerity is a dangerous thing. A great deal of it is absolutely fatal"

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NAUGHTYALI4FUN3130 reads

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Rudy504347 reads

Richard Daley (the first) in 1968 after the Chicago cops beat up anti-war protestors:  "The police aren't there to create disorder, they are there to preserve disorder."

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Felicia FoXX3814 reads



Saw this in a movie (can't remember the movie) the character, Lucinda, is played by Melanie Griffith ....

"I can resist anything but Temptation"

:-)


xoxo

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clarence373677 reads

well, i'm not sure if i have the right one but she did play "aunt lucille" in "crazy in alabama", and that sounds like something her character would say...
however, she stole the line from oscar wilde :-)


abraham lincoln said: "it has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues"

w.c. fields said: "some things are better than sex and some are worse... but nothing is exactly like it"

but my favorite is jessica rabbit (in more ways than one :-) who said "i'm not really bad, i'm just drawn that way!"

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Felicia FoXX5459 reads

One of the ladies in NYC uses that Jessica Rabbit line...reminds me of that gorgeous Kim Bassinger in yet another flick with Brad Pitt ... She was "Hollywood"  boy is my memory out there...but I do remember the really important things....like what kind of high heels a man likes on me...heheheh, and where he likes to be tickled.

xoxoxo

-- Modified on 1/9/2003 8:05:49 PM

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MistressM4455 reads

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rhnp3618 reads

Felicia,

Indeed the quote:

"I can resist anything but Temptation"

is attributed to Oscar Wilde ... chuck one up for Ferangi!

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Ferangi3469 reads

Sorry.. Did not read other messages from posters that recognized the wit of the great one.  One other note of interest. Oscar Wilde is the most quoted playwright second only to one other. Anyone care to guess who the number one most often quoted playwright is??

-- Modified on 1/10/2003 11:37:58 PM

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aquatic3204 reads

Ferangi, in regards to your question about the number one most often quoted playwright, my answer would be: William Shakespeare.

And speaking of great wits, how about these quotes by Miguel de Cervantes from "Don Quixote."

"A close mouth catches no flies."

"Those who'll play with cats must expect to be scratched."

"He that gives quickly gives twice."

"Walls have ears."

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HeywoodJablowme4346 reads

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aquatic4786 reads

How appropriate isn't? :)

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Ferangi3689 reads

Yep, you are right.. THough I don't remember reading many Shakespeare quotes that I would consider "witty". You know what I mean? The ones from Don Quiote are really good. You just get the sense when reading some of these one or two sentence barbs from Oscar that he is thumbing his nose sticking it to the British society of his time..
Lot of funny quotes on here..

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aquatic4459 reads

On my comments about great wits I was actually referring to Oscar Wilde. Shakespeare was in a completely different class. Sorry for the confusion. Great topic. :)

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greywolf4184 reads

Remember one thing about morality...it's always negotiable!

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PacketInspector4944 reads

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction." - Blaise Pascal, Pensées

I saw this today in a news story/comentary on the civil strife in Africa.

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boxtrain4506 reads

I liked when Penelope Cruz said the following line in Vanilla Sky


"Every passing moment is another opportunity to turn it all around"

Happy hobbying!

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MAYORQUIMBY3700 reads

"I'd like to set the record straight.  I thought the cop was a prostitute." -- Homer J. Simpson, Behind the Laughter.

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Wonder Weenie3255 reads

Don't remember where I heard it:

"He's in deep trouble.  Not only was she a cop, but he had tried to talk her down to seven dollars"

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2sense4784 reads

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."

(Woody Allen: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex)

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Clouseau4181 reads

Woody says, "You told me the next time I was in town I should look up your wife."

I thought I would never stop laughing when I heard that.

(I posted it once before.  Sorry to be a broken record)

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fortitude4451 reads

In "Love and Death", he is seduced by a Russian Countess.  Awakening the next morning the room, and the Countess, are a shambles.  She rolls toward Allen and says:  You were wonderful last night!"

His reply:  "Well, I practice alot when I'm alone."

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Not Really Me4744 reads

Tragedy + Time = Comedy     (Neil Simon)

Tragedy + Time + Fantasy = Religion

Fantasy + Time = Ron Jeremy

Ron Jeremy + Time = Comedy


The last three are mine, so if you don't like them, just remember- it's Not Really Me!  

And no disrespect intended Ron, if you read this board.  You've been an inspiration to us all, you just need to drop 20 lbs.  (Hey, I'm hairy and fat and too, so I can say that).

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MooseLover4796 reads

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

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WhatTheHeck3688 reads

Casey Stengel's baseball team had lost five straight games, and a reporter asked if the team's morale was poor.  He answered "It's not a question of morality!"

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HiProGlo5329 reads

For your eloquent perusal

"Today's crisis is tomorrow's joke." H.G. Wells

"Be good and you will be lonesome." Mark Twain

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" Homer J. Simpson

"At my age flowers scare me!" George Burns

"Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad." W.C. Fields

"Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers." Socrates

And my all time favorite!!

"Cogito ergo Spud! (I think, therefore I YAM!) HiProGlo


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69so2canchew3437 reads

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ZedEx4865 reads



-- Modified on 1/11/2003 9:06:06 PM

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sedonasandiego3181 reads

I love it!

Wouldn't that look great on business cards!? LOL!

Sedona

Related Link: http://www.seductivesedona.com

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Ferangi5735 reads

That is great... Who is the author????

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cleanimage2844 reads

"When you have a son, you only have to worry about one dick. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all the others"
He is the father of two girls...

CI

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