It would be interesting to know what three (or more or less) pieces of advice you would offer a new lady starting out in the business.  If you choose to respond your answer may deal with any aspect of the business, e.g., setting up a web site, screening clients, choosing a photographer for your pictures, setting your rates when you are first starting out, safety concerns…whatever aspect of your business that you would have liked to have known more about when you were starting out.

1- READ everything you can at least for a week- state statutes websites  THE EROTIC REVIEW - see whats in the heads (ha) of people looking - see how you FEEL about that

2- Websites are tricky look on boards to see if you can locate a free share or no cost one to start - utilize basic service You dont have to dazzle to be genuine and interesting. You will have so MANY other costs.. start skinny and lean in other areas. Advertising alone on major areas can go anywhere from 200$-1000$ a mo be prepared to invest alot of your own personal finances at first.

3- Security - yes have a driver yes do "safety" calls yes get in with a service at first if you can . RoomServ and DateCk are wastes unless you pay their provider $$$ prems up front and guess what.. cops belong to them. Departments have no problem issuing a 50$ expenditure to have a sting rep make contact with someone for purpose of take down. Esp since "hobbyist" with no verification can join and contact a provider. It is up to the provider to take those "needing" verification or already verified. PublicData.com for 10$ a mo you can get someones info  run a background check and determine if they are an officer of the law by a certain firearm and board licn number. Best 10$ a mo you will ever invest in . Amity told me about that one. Love that site.

Footnote..
Theres many facets for this Gem. You have to have a healthy defined perspective about who you are personally and what this means to you. Expect unpredicted moments and feelings.

by Marc Perkell is very informative, as is everything he has written, IMHO.  He has links to other sites which I consider must-reads.

"Theres many facets for this Gem. You have to have a healthy defined perspective about who you are personally and what this means to you. Expect unpredicted moments and feelings."

Perfectly stated

You covered some great things and worded it so well. Great suggestion (#1) about reading TER and getting a feel for the whole game and what it's like and what to expect and what to deal with because it is full of surprises, isn't it?! And, in (#3) to encourage to use technology to your benefit and learn to use what's out there.
BUT, your last paragraph:

"Theres many facets for this Gem. You have to have a healthy defined perspective about who you are personally and what this means to you. Expect unpredicted moments and feelings."

is just priceless.
The 'healthy, defined perspective about who you are" is so very important. You've got to know and believe in why you chose to do this, and it needs to be a POSITIVE thing in your life. Otherwise, it can easily be harmful; mess with your head.

Great advice! And didn't I read that you're new in the business, and see what you've learned and felt already! You'll do real well. I think it's actually a fascinating journey..don't you?
Beautiful, Morghan.

Morghan, thank you for taking the time to provide the thoughtful post that you provided.  My quesion was aimed at the business side of the business, but you expanded it to include the psycological side as we;; which is really more important.  I have a couple of follow-up questions for you or any other ladies who might choose to answer.
With regard to your footnote about the psychological side of the business, would you or another provider care to expand on this?  The other providers who responded zeroed in on this statement solely which points out the importance of your statement.  I believe I understand the basic statement you made, but I'm equally sure I, and perhaps other men who read this, do not understand the depth of your statement as the other ladies who responded did from their experience.
Less important, but also of interest to me is your response in item 2.  You mention startup costs of getting into the business and address the cost of advertising as a one of the primary costs of getting into the business.  What are some of the other costs?  I would imagine if you're not working-part time you would need a certain amount of savings to survive on until you are established.  Also, an initial amount for new clothing might be an item.  I'm reaching here, but would some of the other costs be a membership at a gym or more frequent trips to the hair dresser or nail salon?  What am I missing?
Lastly, in item number 3 you mention PublicData.com which up until your post I had never heard of.  Are there any other suggtions you have that are obvious to the ladies, but not so obvious to the men?  Thanks again.

I think that what Morghan was saying in her footnote about having "a healthy defined perspective about who you are personally and what this means to you," is that you need to know for yourself that there's nothing morally or otherwise wrong with what you're doing and you need to carry with you the reasoning behind your choice.  There's so much opposition that we face in the outside world.  Thankfully, we've developed a "sub-culture" here on TER and other places on the net and some Providers are even lucky enough to live in a city that has social gatherings specifically meant for Providers and Hobbyists.  Many of us aren't free to be ourselves in the "real" world.  We live our lives shrouded in secrecy and for some, it's a reason for early retirement, while others just stress themselves out about it.  Are you going to tell your family what you do?  Are you going to allow your friends to know?  Do you have a SO and if so, is he/she going to know?  What happens if someone finds out?  What happens if you get arrested?  These are all concerns that you have to think about.  I wish like hell that someone would've asked these questions when I started in this industry.  I would've had a different perspective of things.  I hid what I do from family, friends, and SO's for a long time, but eventually told almost everyone in my life.  I'm lucky enough to have a family that understands, well, for the most part... All of my friends know what I do because they are my support system and I refuse to have people around me that aren't okay with me being a Provider.  I also refuse to have anyone around me who is disrespectful towards my chosen profession.  My SO knows what I do, but it's an ever increasing strain on our relationship, both for fidelity and safety issues.  If you're not okay with every aspect of what you're doing, GET OUT NOW!  If you're okay with just some parts, but not others, GET OUT NOW!  Realize that you live in a society that thinks of you are disgusting and cheap, although you're anything but that.  But, also realize that there are going to be some absolutely wonderful people that you're going to have the incredible opportunity of meeting... You're going to build a support system for yourself so that in those times that someone has made you feel cheap, dirty, and used you won't be alone... They'll be someone there to help you know that you've simply embraced an open mind, a freedom of expression, and a wonderful sense of independence.  In those times of "unpredicted moments and feelings," which can come at any point in your career, you're the only one that's going to be able to look at your reflection in the mirror and have the strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem to know that you're a valuable person... no matter what anyone says.  The more you do this and the more that you carry this knowledge with you, the less these low points in your life will affect you, and thus, the less they'll happen, or at least that's been my experience.  Also, don't make a life-long career of Providing... Use it as a vehicle to get someplace else in your life.  Don't spend every penny you make... Save it, invest it, do something with it.... Remember that this is the biggest class in the school of life that you'll ever take on independence and self-sufficiency emotionally, mentally, and physically.  

Other costs of getting into the business would be the ones that you mentioned (hair, nails, makeup, tanning, gym membership, clothes, lingerie, etc) along with incall location, advertising, photography, traveling costs if you plan to tour... and the list goes on.  The bottom line is that if you're going to charge $300 an hour, you have to look like it and your service has to reflect it.  

I suggest going to work for a reputable agency first.  I'm sure that someone here on the boards can recommend one for your area.  If there's not one there, then go to work with a lady who is experienced and willing to take a "newbie" under her wing.  These options give you a little bit of a safety net.  It'll teach you the mechanics of working in this industry while giving you a little breathing room on the other stuff like screening and advertising... Learn the Providing part first, then work on the other stuff.  It's overwhelming if you try to do it all at one time.  

And the last piece of advice I have... If you have a question... DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK!  Someone here will be more than happy to help you... or you are more than welcome to e-mail me anytime!!!  

Kisses and good luck!

Jaclyn
[email protected]

-- Modified on 11/8/2003 5:00:03 AM

Arizona native -  you make me homesick everytime I see your name!
: *
It is going to be an amazing journey indeed. I am brand *spanking* new. I have yet to post my actual advrt as I wanted some experience schmoozing and meeting people.

I did my first outcall and I have to admit I am hooked. Now I understand the term "Hobbyist" for the gentlemen. Its amazing. I know future situations will have their challenges. But I have been in the "Adult Industry"  11 years. This was a super sexy progression for me. I like it. I liked the exchange the satisfaction I experienced and the amazing person I spent time with. ( I actually stayed WAY longer to walk the boardwalk and enjoy his company he was hot! lol )

Perception is how we define ourselves. If we believe we can not could not or would not.. we actually never will....
thats a direct Mo-ism Motto.. lol
xoxoxo

Thanks Oc !
From a mental stand point.. theres a stigma that obviously goes along with providers. We are selling something society deems as dirty. Ahh blooey.
My two Cents... I put energy tenderness attention and time into making sure you have an experience that makes you satisfied  
You give me a gift to say: I appreciate your investment in this.

I am not an object I can say no. There is more to me than the sum of these parts. I adore and embrace my sexuality and prowess as a woman. I love kinky sex.. sad but true..lol
You are not a wallet or dollar sign. You are a sexually hightened male who appreciates me enough to be nicer than most the men I date and treat me well. You seek to explore something that maybe in the "vanilla 9-5" you are not able to enjoy. This makes you so much more interesting !!!
Other Ladies would have to comment on how they feel about this. Off the cuff talking to my friends including the males. They believe Providers have low self esteem. DO this because more often than not they are drug addicted or living ghetto, lonely , dirty, have no skills or education.. yadda yadda .. I was dumbfounded and wanted to jump on the table and scream
YO BROTHA MAN I AM A HOOKA !!!! Would have most certainly caused the christain coalition to beat the snot outta me.
Start up costs.. you totally hit that too.
Wardrobe has to change.. luckily Fredericks is a helluva lot cheaper than Stormy Leather or Vollers where a corset is almost a thous$ Being a Mistress in the Domme sense if FURGIN EXPENISVE ! I wrote an article for American Dommes. Economics of Domination 101. I think it really works well on this format as well. To start.. yes wardrobe hair nails makeup- girlie stuff isnt cheap if you want decent quality. Advertise- THANK GOD FOR  THE EROTIC REVIEW !!! Right now so many web enigines lists and directories are banking on adult XXX to post for any given month usually can run onward over 200$ per month. Now this is just one site. Every little feature you want to add to your page ie- photos phone number website email - they $ extra for - this is how the price goes up. You multiply that by at least four sites or listing yourself in four categories ( each city is another page charge) your looking $$$$ . Space - granted dungeons are way more expensive to rent and facilitate than a hotel .. but getting an incall location can be just as costly.
Travel Networking Events Appearances.
Again as a Domme I have had to go to Vegas New York France England Jamiaca ( which I do every year. .omg do I love Hedonism III ) Czech republic to the OWK. Ok,... uhm Runaway Bay alone just to get there and have my hotel and crap for KINK was 3thoussand $$$ Well worth it as I said I go every year.
Keep in mind.. this is just the little stuff.
Theres still mortages car payments utilities and life stuff to pay day in and day out. Start up .. if you ARE NOT working a 9-5 can be a very slow thing to get into.
I am a student again. I left my very well placed paid and snotty position to pursue my real self and real interests (this being one) It is very expensive. If you expect it you can plan for it.
Gym memberships ( what are those snickersss ) Eating differently taking care of yourself more regular physicians visits to keep the levels on the up and up . ( no health insuarnce here ) It does add up. There was a book I saw about 2 years ago called the "Frugal Domme" I think I need to write one for the Girls.
"Pussy Power for under a $100"

Thinking more about Morghan's quote about the gem, I conjured this up last night, both for new hobbyists and providers...

You're contemplating standing on the banks of a raging river that is filled with the currents of the strongest forces known to man--attraction, passion, lust, want, procreation...

If you're a strong, self-aware person, jump in and bathe in all the experiences those currents take you to.  But if you're not sure who you are or why you're taking the swim, the river will decide for you.

Put another way, if you're ready for it, the hobby will help you reveal who you are.  If you're not, it will change who you are.

As for the discussion about startup costs...  I would also have a really open, detailed discussion with an attorney experienced in these matters.  (BTW, I am NOT a lawyer, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.)  ;^)

It's like a lot of things in life...  If there turns out to be a legal problem, it will be what you did in the minutes just before and just after getting busted that will alter the outcome, not what happens days later in a hearing.

Over the past few years I've seen providers come up with some of the most ridiculous schemes for LE screening from written forms to my recent favorite, a bug detector to see if I was wired.  The basic concept of what constitutes entrapment is comepletely misunderstood by lay people.  The silly anecdotes from your friends won't help a lot if you're in a pinch.

If you're a traveling provider, you need to have your attorney explain municipal vs. state vs. federal jurisdiction, and know what enforcement reciprocity compacts your home state has in place with the destination state.

Don't take this advice wrong--This legal advice is important but secondary to the real emotional issues the other posts have addressed.

Talk to Katlyn about screening or another provider with the same process. I was origionally trained to just look at a CDL and business card...big mistake!  No, I've never been in trouble with LE, but I could have been. Be very careful and don't be overly trusting.

This is a very important article and a must read:
Police Deception

by J. D. Obenberger, Attorney at Law

© 1998 J. D. Obenberger

There is a lot of dangerous misinformation about arrest and police conduct that I have heard from clients over the years, and it is important that you have an understanding of what the law actually says. It is not my intent to get into the philosophy of whether it is right or wrong for the police to use dishonest of deception, but instead, just to candidly report to you what the law permits peace officers to do.

Police Deception in Detecting Crime

There is a widespread belief out there that police officers are required by the law to act like Boy Scouts, that they can never lie, that if they do lie, it means that you can beat a case, that they have to read you your rights and if they don't do it, you can beat the case, etc., etc. and more etc.

It is simply not true that a police officer has to tell you the truth if you ask him (or her) whether he (or she) is a police officer. It is simply not true that a police officer will not take off his clothes in a prostitution investigation of massage or escort. It is not against the law for a police officer to proposition a prostitution suspect for sex for money. It is not necessarily entrapment for an attractive female decoy to dress provocatively at night on the streets, make eye contact with drivers, and beckon them, and try to induce an agreement for commercial sex. I have not read many reported decisions in which the Courts have been enthusiastic about trick, deception, and artifice by law enforcement personnel, but the Courts do understand that in the real word, a world in which crime loves darkness, stealth, and concealment, crime can sometimes only be detected and prosecuted through those same means.

It is not entrapment for the police to provide someone with an opportunity for a crime. Entrapment only exists as a defense when it can fairly be said that the government actually created the crime. The focus of the entrapment defense is on the state of mind of the accused. If he or she readily accepts an invitation to break the law, it shows pre-disposition to commit the offense, and so it cannot be fairly said that the government created the crime. Police Deception in Interrogation

The use of deception, trick, artifice, and dishonesty in interrogation is not a mere aberration or fluke that sometimes happens. It is simply routine in almost every law enforcement agency, and it remains routine because it is effective


Because most courts take the view that deception is acceptable in custodial interrogation so long as it is not likely to elicit false statements from a suspect, it is a widely accepted practice to tell the suspect untruths about his case. He will be told that his co-arrestees have made a statement and have identified him as the ringleader, even when they have remained silent. He will be told that his fingerprints were found at the crime scene even when it is not true. None of this will make his subsequent confession involuntary and inadmissible against him at trial.


It should be noted that just as life is not always fair, the law is not always fair either. You do not have any reciprocal right to lie to a police officer

The most important rule to remember, if you are arrested, is that nobody ever got hanged for what they didn't say.  When Miranda was first decided, police officers and chiefs, from coast to coast, predicted that law enforcement would become unworkable, because suspects would heed the warnings, make no statement, demand a lawyer, and refuse to cooperate. Well, needless to say, the sky did not fall in on law enforcement. That is because the suspects kept talking.

It is actually rare for a suspect to invoke his Miranda rights and refuse to answer questions. The reasons are complex. Some people think that they can talk their way out of an arrest or out of jail. Some people feel the need to confess guilt. Some respond easily to a police officer who comes across like a friend. Some are convinced that they will go down anyway, and that "things will go easier" with a statement. For whatever reason, the police were amazed and chagrined to learn, that rights warning or not, defendants kept singing like canaries and manufacturing cases against themselves.
No matter how bleak the situation seems to you at that moment, you should make no statement about the offense you are being charged with or investigated for until you have consulted with a lawyer. Do not consent to the search of your vehicle or your house, or anything that belongs to you until you consult with a lawyer.
But do not consent until you have talked to a lawyer. This requires courage, because the presence of the officer and his partners, and your uncertain situation, impels you to want to get on the right side of the officer. The situation is inherently intimidating. Do not believe a statement that the officer can get a warrant anyway. If he didn't want your consent, he wouldn't ask for it. Maybe he needs it, maybe he doesn't. You don't know. But, if you have the choice, and he has, after all asked you to make a choice, your choice is "With respect, officer, I'll have to decline to give that consent until I talk with a lawyer." You can give that response whether or not you have been advised of your rights.

Joe Obenberger is a Chicago Loop lawyer concentrating in the law of free expression and liberty under the United States Constitution. His firm has represented many owners, employees, and customers of adult-oriented businesses, both online and in the “real world”. His practice extends to First Amendment cases, municipal zoning and licensing, the law of privacy, criminal law and civil rights. He can be reached in the office at 312 558-6420 or paged at 312 250-4118 in any emergency. His e-mail address is [email protected]

I have been singing this very ideal for years in the BDSM community.
Hunney - Just because you have your clothes on and never had any intention to have sexual intercourse with the male on the bed presenting himself as a submissive - just because your tribute is in an envelope and you never *touched* the money..
You are wearing a strap on pecker that implies pentration and you are now FUGGED !
They grey lines in the law are deep.
Keep your mouth hush . Dont talk about sex and money and should that not even come up and you get busted on a technicality anyway keep quiet until you meet with an atty.

In Indiana..
Provider was recently arrested. Cop had intercourse with her two times. During the act ( that was taped from three cams in the room with the boys watching in another .. guess they like those angles) He started talking *dirty* to her. Muttering how she was such a naughty girl taking money for f***** etc etc . She thinking it was part of his *pottie mouth talk* went along in role to her thinking. "He cant be a cop we are having sex"
Uhm.. yea he can be.
Busted her after the second time. Yea he got three days suspension from his dept for having acts .. three days paid suspension. But since this was part of a major sting all activities within the dept  were legitamized. (covered)
Had even seen another provider to set up a verification on RS2K and posted a review. He is also on Escorts.com that is where he first contacted the lady.

Yikes huh

Three is so few for such a wide scope of answer..mine would pertain to the client aspect...only after a while of working can you really get to know the different kinds of clients..there are the great ones.. the ones that really just want company.. the ones that have no respect for women..and the most annoying ones that call want to talk to you endlessly..like when they are in traffic..or in the bathroom.. and they book apts never to show..and they  always raise the bar..like when you only have an opening at 1..they say if only it was at two..I would see you... they have no intention of ever booking..I have even had people book apts. when I was first starting at an agency.. and you would open the door..and they say..oh this is you forget it..and at first I would be so upset..till I would look out the window and see they had double parked and they had no intention of seeing you..that was there apt..to reject you... the agency said they had done it to 4 other girls that day..so  1. no matter what happens..dont allow any client or person to make you doubt your own self worth.. you cant please everyone.. you cant be a blonde blue eyed girl one moment and a tall brunette the other be yourself.2. trust your gut..if something does not feel right..even if you think you not sure maybe your over analyzing..what ever..trust your gut better to lose an apt then end up in jail or hurt 3. be nice try and see where the other person is coming from ,,mabye they had a bad experience ..a bad day ..whatever..no one can ever fault you if you say how you feel but in a nice way..I had to add another..4. be honest..we all tell white lies..for our safety or out of fear..but when it comes down to the real important things be honest and you cant go wrong....