More than one provider has told me that she is treated better by men as a provider than by men in civilian life.  Ladies, is this true?  Give it some critical thought -- of course, some hobbyists are going to bring you flowers and perfume and the magic will last a couple of hours, and that may be better than any two hours in civilian life -- but over the long term, how has it been?  Do you have regulars who genuinely care about you and who walk the walk better than civilian men?  And if so, why is that?  Should we hobbyists be patting ourselves on the back for being knights in shining armor?  Have providers just picked sh-ts for SOs in civilian life?  Or is it more complex?  Or is it impossible to generalize?  Inquiring minds, y'know...

I don't see any difference and I think it would be difficult to tell. Since you only see the client for an hour or two, they're on their best behavior, just as civilian guys are when they take you on dates.

Getting flowers or perfume is always appreciated, but it doesn't change the underlying personality of the client nor the chemistry between you. Some of my favorite clients have never given me any gifts and I don't think any less of them.

I'd say it's impossible to generalise as everybody will have had different experiences.  But I'd say if a provider is getting treated better by the men she sees as clients then she's got bad taste in SOs.  She shouldn't be spending time with anybody who doesn't respect her or treat her well, doesn't matter if they are a client or an SO.

I have found that my friends that I have through this hobby tend to (as a general rule) spoil me much more than men that I have historically dated.  Maybe that IS a reflection of my crummy taste in men (PRIOR to my becoming a provider) but maybe the men that I spend time with in the hobby are trying (and succeding) in making the short time we have together romantic and real.  Whatever the reason, I love it and it has set a standard for later in my life when I do choose an SO.....

Oh absolutely, it's like being on the honey moon!  Lots of fun things happen on the honey moon.

Well a provider sees a client and our or 2 rarely more at a time.

You don't really get to see the real person. Same with providers some have a persona and its not the real them.

Neither side sees the real person in that short a time.

Both are in an artificial world so to say.

Try living with each other, or really spending a lot of time together. Its not the same.

There are men out there who can give and love correctly...but there are a lot of haystacks to look through to find the needles.  Hopefully, when you are ready, you won't have to look through many, and your new standards will help you make a good choice.

Maybe for  most people  they  put on a  mask and become someone  else. I cannot do that, I am  the real me all the  time.
Some people find it hard to believe that anyone can be as nice as I am, and they do not believe it is me.
MY whole Life I have been told I am too nice, well I guess I am, but I like me this way.

If you were to meet  me  in the civi world and take me out you would get  no different treatment then if  it were the  provider world.(((OK  only difference in civi world I don't  put  out on first date,,,,, LOL))))  

I have  always  dated  the  nice  guy too, never  been treated  badly  and  never  went  psycho on a guy, I guess  it  says  something that I am still good  friends  with everyone  of  my ex’s

When I first started providing I gave  my self a few  rules..

1. I would stop if I ever became someone I did not Like,   or change who I really am.
2. I would stop if I could not  handle the  people I  encountered
3. I would stop If I could not  have an  Orgasms any more.


P.S. I agree  with Carrie  of  London, if a  girl  is  getting  treated  better  by  clients  then  she  is  by  her  dates, then  she  is dating the  wrong  men.

goes a long way for setting the tone of specialness.  The ones who demand last minute appts when we say no, and have no regard for the fact that our life has some stress, some needs,  are the ones who ARE NOT better than the "civvies" we are speaking of avoiding.

We ladies don't always get out much in the dating world, as we often must stay somewhat secluded from social intimacy due to the stigma of this business.  

And when it comes to dating "civvies" I am not one who cares to lie about what I do for a living, so I am quite transparent and must either date someone I've met in this business, or end up with some fella who doesn't care about much of anything.  Now that kind of guy is way TOO cool for me.



-- Modified on 4/15/2004 9:32:07 PM

The circumstances are so different that comparisons are meaningless.  And that's true whether it's a one time encounter or you're somebody's ATF.

I suppose something sensible could be said comparing a session with a client and a first date.

I'm going with the one hour theory--I can be a charming Mother F*cker for an hour or two.  But you don't want to see me after a fight with my boss, a two-hour commute and a turndown from my SO.

to whatever your fightsstresses, then she can bring you what you seek without feeling put down by your seeming lack of attention to her. She'll be able to handle your selfcenteredness.

If on the other hand, you cold call a girl for a quickie when you are already stressed out (what I refer to in my post above), then what do you think it would convey to her about you and how you might treat her?  

Really,  it's about matching up the right people with similar outlooks.  Maybe your type of need is a lady whose special skill is in dealing with that type of stress.  



-- Modified on 4/15/2004 10:24:18 PM

The ladies I've seen have treated me more like a human being than any woman I've encountered in everyday life.  I haven't had an actual date with a woman in nearly 8 years because I got fed up with them treating me the same way a baby treats a diaper.  I came to the conclusion that the dating process does not work for me the way it does for practically everyone else, and that if I ever wanted to get laid again, seeing escorts was the only way it was going to happen.  By doing so, it at least has given me some confidence in my abilities to please a woman.

From my perspective, I don't see escorts with the idea that I'm going to try to be their savior, nor do I expect them to be mine.  The most I try to do is be respectful and honor their personal boundaries.  That approach has been fairly good for me.  Ironically, that approach hasn't worked at all in my attempts to date & find romance.

-The XSO shows up unexpectedly and points his .357 magnum at you. Not only doesn't she apologize afterward, but in court she won't testify;

-She offers to take you someplace special, and takes you to biker bar that you're lucky to get out of alive;

-You pick her up from her home and she hasn't bathed-- for three days, and proceeds to tell you a heart-rending story about how much she tried to bathe and failed;

-Third date, she goes with you to get the condom, goes with you to the hotel, stays with you as you get the room, follows you up to the room. Then, when you make your move, she fights you like it's a rape;

-My personal favorite: you meet her at a bar, pick her up consensually, she agrees to go to your place, and then as you are walking to the car she pulls out a blade and slashes you in the shoulder.  

I have at least twelve more of these stories.  A few of them personal, most of them are from friends.  Some of them are too traumatic and gut wrenching to ever repeat-- even anonymously.

The "normal" dating scene has turned brutal.  It's full of dysfunctional, hateful, and downright malignant women. I'm with you KC.  Providers are the best.

/Zin

/Zin

Dude you are hanging with the wrong crowd................

My worst experience was with someone who turned out to be a drunk, was all over me in public, but in bed just laid there like a corpse.

Almost chewed my arm off on night to get away without waking her up when I realised it wasn't a bad date she was consistantly like that.

I have gotten off lucky...only been led on by some women using me for my emotional or financial support.  Other than that, nothing scary.

Amazing that Zin stayed past one or two of those scenarios.  I would have been "See ya...and I wouldn't wanna be ya!"

Except one.  I won't say which one.  I heard these firsthand from guys who had these experiences.  All of the ones I'm still in contact with, BTW, are confirmed bachelors in their mid-30s for apparent reasons.  

/Zin