more interesting would be a tidbit about the conversation you had.
Perhaps a recent trip to Istanbul and visiting the sites. Or a recent excellent culinary experience - and her reaction/complimentary anecdote.how cum most reviews are almost word for word exactly the same?
Is there a class guys go to? night school seminar?
it's truly weird.
Creative writers are few nowadays .
Ernest Hemingway, we’re not 🤷🏻♂️
I guess I should take his advice
“As a writer, you should not judge, you should understand.”
― Ernest Hemingway
Mostly that’s true. I just read a review the guy dumped a load in every hole lol. In general it’s ymmv.
Especially if those services aren't widely advertised by the provider.
The information - if it's truthful of course - being that she possibly offers CIM, CIP and CIA.
At least she got 10/10 maybe that’s why 😂
the buxom wench appeared to be of the finest breeding despite her appalling profession, with cream colored skin, red cheeks touched with the slightest rouge, a pleasantly plump body rounded just where it should be, and green eyes that bore into one’s soul!
when she took my manhood into her mouth, the sweet nectar of that orifice engulfed it and i attained a length and firmness that i had not achieved from any degenerate act my wife and I had partaken in!
subsequently, I spilt my seed all over her fiery red mane because her technique was superb and my constitution for carnal encounters had diminished in the past few years.
my only regret was my inability to reinvigorate my manhood for another tryst!
“I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!”
Step Brothers
Singing in a Scottish accent?
I’m here to read the fantasy reviews. I have years of free VIP days. I loot the like button on well written reviews. The majority of reviews I read are boring & routine.
it's all been written a million times.
someone needs to take a minute to write good erotic fantasy.
For those of us who have had to give out and also receive performance evaluations, I don't wanna speak for everyone but I never heard someone say they're not creative enough.
They're not supposed to be.
A review is supposed to tell the next man about the product/service so he (or she, hi lopaw 
) can make a more informed purchase decision.
Not tickle or satisfy a sellers cravings for creative literature.
Some people dislike the "laundry list" style reviews but I don't see what's wrong with that. I'm trying to decide on a purchase, not get off to a penthouse novel.
Obviously everyone has a right to their own reviews style and all. But it's always helpful to imagine yourself in the shoes of someone who will read your review for information. And then ask yourself, would your review help yourself if you were to make a decision based on it?
Imagine you going on yelp or any other business review site. You want to see how good the food at a restaurant is (Alternatively you can use a mechanic shop, dentist whatever if you gonna balk at a comparison with restaurants)
You read a review and it mentions little to nothing about how the food actually tastes or how it's presented. Nothing about service. But it mentions how the reviewer walked in, used a bathroom, exchanged paperwork (ie, paid the check and gave a tip at the end) how they were seated down at a table (imagine that! ) and how the waiter brought them food which was freshly made. And how they ate food.
You would be like. Oh, brother. I get that it's A restaurant not a doctor office alright. How was the freaking food? Was it cooked properly? Did it taste good? Was it too saucy? Too salty? Just right? Was the presentation good? How was the portion size? Was the service excellent? Were the waters polite and not rude? Did you get refills on your drinks often? How does it compare to similar establishments in the area in terms of quality and/or value?
Were the pics representative?
Unfortunately many reviews on here (and its even worse on other review sites) often describe things that are rudimentary and almost tautological instead of things that do matter.
I always like it when reviewers brag about their penis size in their reviews. There is one guy who always mentions his "7 inch cock" and whether the girl "struggled to take it" or "took it like a champ." It always gets an eye roll out of me.
one out a hundred people with penis have a really large one. (that's 40 million large dicks!)
it's not unusual enough to mention I agree.
Why would I care about it? As someone who reads the review I couldn't care any less what size you are unless you specifically mention that she wasn't able to handle it or on the contrary felt loose.
Only then some reference point makes some sense. It's one thing if she can't handle six inches and another if she can't take 11 balls deep.
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned it, but reviews are also used as a way for guys to get off. Sometimes it gives the reviewer one more time to relive the appointment and fantasize a bit. Also there are definitely dudes who use the reviews for JO material. That's why some review sites encourage guys to be descriptive. So if a guy mentions his dick size, its because he wants to brag about it or he is fantasizing about having a big cock.
.
Anyway, speaking of Penthouse letters, did anyone ever read that thing? I got my hand on a copy when I was a younger dude and all the stories were gay, like literally gay. It all involved stories of guys wearing panties and getting fucked while their wives or GFs watched. I was super confused by it. I wonder if that was the norm or I got my hands on a special issue.
That’s like a guy bragging about how tall he is at 5’10”. One inch above average is not the bragging point. I’m sure he’s trying to make up for his below average confidence.
Exactly! Like giving them a microphone, a spotlight, and zero fact-checkers.🤣🫣
In Roman times, it was considered “uncivilized” to have a big member…lol
I think it was just something created by society to keep women away from such guys lol
a time travel machine, or what?
Check out this famous mural from Pompeii.
Does Biggus Dickus here look like he is ashamed?
From Monty Python's incredible "The Life of Brian." Although there was a poster on P&R here years ago who called himself Priapus.
-- Modified on 8/21/2025 9:19:35 AM
Per ChatGPT:
"Romans inherited much of this cultural lens from the Greeks. While fertility symbols like the fascinum (amulate in the shape of a penis) were common, in term of aesthetics, moderation and proportion were praised. Large genitalia could be associated with slaves, foreigners, or the uncontrolled others."
And of course, that carried forward through Western history to the good 'ol US of A were a certain group of people were maligned for having a length and girth that were two standard deviations or more away from the norm.....
posting on this thread that wouldn't mind having Biggus Dickus as his slave. Lol
When the reviewer says "thankfully she brought magnum condoms with her".
he was a mag because he had the smallest dick in his gym class in school. Lol
the hobby itself is somewhat predictable and the process of seeing someone, which has been perfected over the years, has become cookie-cutter process. Unless you are a professional writer, in how many different ways you are going to be able to describe the process which involves making the appointment, typical 2 call system, and actual deed. Not very many....
Personally speaking, I try to put as much as original information in my reviews, but again I write to contribute, not just 15 days of VIP.
I don't even know what a typical 2 call system is!
You text her / call her when you are on the way and then again when you get to the incall and she gives you the hotel or apt #
She greeted me, we kissed, she blew me, I ate her pussy, we fucked, then chatted with the little time we had left.
Sums up more than 90% of my experiences.
Romance novels, I don't need.
She looks like her pictures and provides services as advertised with a good attitude. Throw in some acronyms to support the score and done.
more interesting would be a tidbit about the conversation you had.
Perhaps a recent trip to Istanbul and visiting the sites. Or a recent excellent culinary experience - and her reaction/complimentary anecdote.
If the topic of conversation is memorable, then a provider may recognize/realize who you are based on that. Some reviewers are deliberately trying to avoid this.
What would be TRULY be helpful for ME would be if they discussed:
1. Screening process - I know some want to keep it secret but many are very open about what they will require so as not to waste time with people who cannot (or will not) provide it
2. Incall information - not the address, but whether she hosts in her own apartment or books a hotel and even more importantly, is it safe and discreet?
3. Does she look like her pictures, and if not, what is different? I have already found multiple providers I wanted to book that were stealing pics from Instagram and the Internet in general.
4. Specific rules she may have with the fun stuff, ie only does CBG or does not allow kissing
5. General attitude. Is she sweet and playful or is she stiff and all business?
I have next to no interest reading about any sex acts performed unless it is related to #4. That should remain between you and her. Besides, despite it being a longshot and not always worth their time, overzealous LE can possibly prosecute with the information posted on here if they can trace accounts to real names.
Agreed. I'm not here for Penthouse Forum style reviews.
I'm here to find out if she's attractive, friendly and enthusiastic. That the atmosphere was conducive to the activities. That she enjoys doing all of the things that I enjoy having done to me. And, enjoys all of the things that I like to do, done to her.
And after it was all over, she refused to take my money and instead she paid me.
That will change things up a bit.
I just saw a movie on Tubi the other night where a client said this to the main character (who was an escort). lol
Toxic NPD!
Otherwise I could read 2-3 reviews and know exactly what I’m going to get. Instead I need more like 10 or more reviews to get a clear picture of a particular providers’s session. In reviews I want a little of these; looks, personality and demeanor, experience and skills, key service like dfk, bbbjcim, fiv, the ways she makes guys cum, any specialties, final impression, and desire to repeat. That gives a pretty full picture! A generic I got a blowjob and we fucked review doesn’t help anyone in the decision to see that provider.
There does seem to be an unspoken template of sorts that a lot of us have learned to follow over time.
A guy reviews the same girl twice so you'd think that there'd be similarities with maybe alittle twist on the reviews. But some knucklehead reviewed the same girl twice and on the second review, it read like he didn't even know her. Not even a "I met XX before but this session was different" or something like that.
It was a strange set of reviews but when you consider the reviewer...it was par for the course so not surprising
Guy scores her 8/7
Blah blah how great she was. Read at the end “I’ll definitely see her again” Look at said girls rate not cheap. It’s like why dude. You rated her let’s face it average for TER. If she was so great why the low score. Her hourly wasn’t cheap so not like it was a value play.
Get off my lawn also 😂