OK here goes,
I am so tired of the bullshit here on the board. The obvious self promotion, the necessity of some providers to constantly call attention to themselves negatively or psoitively, the need to prove that they are the sexiest,most honest,that they have real O's,that they do it for the sex, they are low volume, upscale, classy etc.
This is a business plain and simple, I am a provider and I do love sex but not all the time. I do this for money. Frankly, I can get free sex and have lots of O's without selling myself. This is not high school and I an not the fucking homecoming queen. Some men think I am beautiful, some don't. Sometimes I have an amazing session sometimes I would rather stick forks in my eyes. The guys are paying for pussy, they are not looking for a GF just a GFE, an hour or two of release from the daily grind. You cannot be a cocksucker and be "classy". You can be articulate,sensuous and fun to be with but whores are basicaly sexual contractors.When the job is done you pick up your tools and leave.

It takes a slightly bent individual to make a career out of having sex with strangers. I am bent, I dont function well in a corporate environment, I don't do well with a boss and I know it. I am a square peg and this job allows me to be to embrace that istead of squelching my need to to do my own thing.
When girls post with all this drivel all they do is show how bent they are.Many girls do this job because they crave male attention, I know, I do. There are times in my career when I have seriously questioned my sanity. I sit here this morning with that question looming heavily over my head. I wonder am I the only one who sees this for what it is or are we all so caught up in the fantasy that we are losing touch?
I have had moments when being a provider becomes who I am instead of what I do. Those moments scare me, do they scare you???

Post under your real name and we'll take you seriously.  Otherwise you are making all providers look like flakes.

I function well in a corporate environment, that's why I had a successful career before I started escorting.  I don't relish going back to a full time 9-5 but that doesn't mean I'm dysfunctional.

And you know what?  I like to think I can be classy and suck cock too.

...you can get them down on price easier

I dont have to post under my real name if I don't want to, the providers that are flakes are flakes.I am sure that you are fine, there are some that think they are. But the reality is you do sleep with men for money and I am sure you even give service to guys you would not normally touch with a 10 foot pole in your civie life. The ability to suspend reality to perform these acts speaks to a certain type of bend in your psyche.  There is nothing wrong with being off center, I embrace my inner weirdo, the question is why are you so worried about whether someone thinks providers are off? Did it touch a nerve?

This board can "Function" as a Water Cooler!!

I rather LOVE what I do..and when something COMES up..I just spill my beans! I don't really care..I will step up and make my point!

I will never work a 9-5 again..
I give kudos to many ladies on this board and others that offer up their feelings and experiences..and they don't hold back. You could take 6 of them and place them on a board of a fortune 500 company and they would excel.

I want to suck cock and I have class!

SexyC

I feel i have the right to share my truth anonymously. I do not want this rant to turn into another bizzare self promoting snit,rather I wanted to comment freely about my feelings without the onus of seeming like I need yet another opportunity to see my name in lights

...and I have done for a number of years. In all that time I have come across a number of people that I could not stand. One or two I would not have cared about had they been run over by the next bus. I still smiled at them and worked with them because I am professional and an adult, sometimes at great emotional cost to myself. That does not make me a flake or mean I have a bent psyche. A provider is not automatically a flake under the same rationale.

The vast majority of us know what the reality of the situation is. The fact that you need to come on here and try to tell us speaks much of you.

...how do we know you are actually a provider? You could just be another anonymous troublemaker. They do exist.

Given your contempt for this sort of board what truth do you hope to achieve?

Yes, I do sleep with men for money.  Many of whom I would never sleep with otherwise.  And have had unbelievable amounts of great sex with guys I wouldn't normally consider (it's not all good, of course, as you mention in your original post).

Of course, you can post under an alias.  I was pointing out that you might be taken more seriously if you posted under your working name.

I don't think I'm 'off'.  I think I'm a pretty normal person who happens to work as an escort.  The reason I take exception to your insinuation that all escorts are weird in some way is because I see it as playing into the minds of the (minority of) male sexists among TER membership.

Believe it or not...I don't give a rat's a$$ if my name is in lights..BUT I do give a DAMN about standing behind who I am..


SexyC

BTW, sucking cock has nothing to do with class.  If it brings pleasure to yourself and your partner, then it's a beautiful thing.  

What is classless?  Slamming others, especially in a broad fashion without the guts to post under your own handle.  I mean, the providers don't use their real names and neither do the hobbyists, so our handles are already aliases.  I'm jjackflash and I piss some people off and I make others laugh.  Some laugh at me some with me.  I call it like I see it and I don't use aliases.

From another classy cock sucker..

At the end of the day... we all suck cock for a living...

LOL!

Point well taken, mysogynists aside, I do believe that you must have a 'special'(is that a better word?) makeup to do this kind of work.  Again, I don't put a negative value judgement on weird, it just is what it is. I am not invested in being taken seriously by those who choose not to take me seriously I just wanted to say my piece

because nobody really cares about 1 negative review, and you have gone to great lengths to let us all know

a

If you really are a provider, then you probably don't enjoy your work all that much.  If this business is causing you to have an identity crisis, you might think about taking some time off and reconsidering what you're doing to make a living.  I'd be interested in reading your reviews if you have them.

I don't mind it at all that many escorts describe themselves as classy, well-educated, upscale or what have you.  It's important for me to know and verify these details.  During a session, I'd like to have some level of intelligent conversation with the lady as much as great sex.  I pay the $$$+ for the whole package.  I have no interest in visiting some low-class street hooker.

So basically, I disagree with most of what you're saying.

You guys are not our partners, you are contracting us to pleasure you. We will suck most guys who pay us if they pass certain screening, Initially we don't even know you and its about doing the job. I enjoy my job, but it is still a job.

It creates so much meaning for most that they get upset at the mear mention of it. I would be surprised if you don't get tons of angry and maybe even crazy replies to your thread.

Your truth is true for you. For some it is the same and for others it is not.

Yes, escorts are being paid for thier time and what happens during that time is pretty much understood, but that denies the fantasy or "truth" others choose to create out of this hobby. So my only advice to you or anyone else, is to worry about you and how you are reacting to life.

You have very little to no control over how others act.

Be great for as many people as you can in life and you will most likely have more happiness than less.

And EVERYONE gave me their opinions..good and bad..We operate under The Bill of Rights...Free Speech! Along with that goes your ability to disregard...delete, pay-no-mind, ignore...
I don't read everything in print..I choose how I want to spend my time..Granted today has been an unusually board posting day...I even slept for 6 hours before I made my first post..But believe me..I did get relief from my post..This forum is for SHARING..It brings together Ladies and Gentlemen from all over the world. WHO should stand before us and tell us "WHAT DESERVES TO BE HEARD?" Sometimes "Active Listening"..just hearing someone out...stirs something inside!

xoxo
SexyC

who are square pegs in round holes, don't do will in the corporate sandbox and definately have to check our sanity from time to time.

You, at least, have a career that provides some latitude.  I do not.  My job is about as straight as they come.... My marriage?  while I take great joy in saying that it was her fault there are two conslusions in that statement: a) I picked her and agreed to marry her... and b) there were things I did to ensure the failure of the marriage (as much as she).  Either of these conclusions do not reflect well on me.

So, am I bent?  I would say so, but not in a psychopathic way, just in a "hey, I like sex" kinda way.  Scared, yes, but what scares me is finding out that there are much worse out there... people who do scare me... So far, in this hobby I have been lucky, I have met nice ladies who, for the most part, have been kind to me and made me feel welcome - if only for 60 min at a time.  

You write from your own perspective...that's fine.  But your reality is not my reality...nor that of some others, although I'm sure others can and will agree with you (if only secretly...).

What's normal?  What's bent?  What is true happiness, or a sense that you have found your true calling in life??  We all walk our own path in life, and those definitions are never the same for everyone.

Just because I may spend time with someone I wouldn't date in my civilian life, doesn't mean I don't enjoy that time, and that it can't be pleasurable.  Certainly I make different choices on who I spend professional time with, in part, because of monetary compensation...but that is not the only reason or motivation behind what I do or whom I see.

My happiness in this career choice is multi-faceted.  I could try to explain it, but why??  It is about following my own personal path, and that has nothing to do with whether or not you or anyone else find my points valid.

And while I abhor elitist attitudes, and agree on some level that, as escorts, we are all *essentially* doing the same thing regardless of how much is charged, I will take issue with the notion that you cannot be classy and suck cock at the same time.  Class is about how you hold yourself and how you respect others around you, not about what activities you are engaged in (or how much you charge...).  You can be classy and scrub toilets for a living, just as you can be classy sucking cock and gettinga good, messy facial.    

Renting my body does not mean selling my soul...

But that's just my perspective...and just one of a million other perspectives out there.  

Look at yourself first without those rose colored glasses, as that is the only place the truth matters.

Regards,

Megan

...however, your point was just that:  "yours!"  While other providers may share it, others do not.  And the provider to whom my post was attached to clearly didn't share your thoughts, and appealed to you that you don't speak for others but only yourself.  I found her remarks to be "on the money", so I added my $0.02.

I loved some points made by Carrie!!!
I loved how she stated that she had wonderful moments with Gentlemen that she would in "Real" life not otherwise share her sensuality..and she was sated. The job..as you put it..is really SO MUCH MORE gratifing to me than any other I have held in my life!!
What "I" offer up to my "dates' and HOPE to receive in return is the chance to share my sensuality and the "feel" that is shared when our bodies come together! The ultimate...I have experienced it many, many, many times..and the "JOB" just dosen't seem to be a job at all!!

I WANT MY PLEASURE, TOO!!
SexyC

. . . based on the first few sentences of the post.

But who knows, she could be a hobbyist.

it raises an interesting question: what is it that prevents regular women(civvies)from becoming providers? are they all flawed in some way?You're in a better position to answer than me a hobbyist.

frankly i think id rather suck cock than be a dentist or have to touch peoples feet

I agree with your assessment of classy, maybe I didn't express myself clearly. I have dignity and class in what I do, and for me too it is a labor of love. it is when someone calls themselves classy, it is those phony elitist terms that get to me.

I am one woman, with one opinion and while it is hard to define bent I know it when I see it. It is the bull that got to me this AM. I guess I was having a moment...

Wait . . . Regular women (civvies) do become providers.  Providers aren't born as providers.  I realize the question is not directed at me, but what does it mean?

Kate

I meant the overwhelming majority of women who are not providers...

After I read your post, I contemplated what I was going to say to you. After all, I agree with some of the points you have listed. I interpreted your post as a need to vent about how fantasy gets mixed up with reality at times in this business. However, I find it odd that you bring up the part of "self-promotion." It sounds like a rant that's been going on and displayed on the Phoenix board as of late.

I hate to break it to you, but our jobs are self-promoting (unless you work for an agency). That is what this board is for: to make new friends, to flirt, to add helpful contributions to someone who might want advice, to market ourselves and maybe just to chat because we're bored. It's not always about self-promoting. And, even if it was, if you don't like those who choose to post often just move on and not read that person's post.

As far as class, money doesn't buy class. Being a Christian does not buy class. Baking cookies for your kids class does not buy class (although it's a nice gesture). I believe "class" comes within one's soul. If you treat people the way you would like to be treated, are a friend to those who truly count on you, and if you are courteous to everyone (garbage collector, waitor, street walker, homeless person) then you have class. Just my opinon, for what it's worth.

Hugs,
Ciara

who marries because she wants to be taken care of in return for doing her "wifely duties" (ie having sex with the guy) is a provider, whether she likes that term or not.

The fact that her family, her church and society at large smile upon this arrangement does not make it any less of a client/provider arrangement.  There is nothing wrong with this either, it just is what it is, just as there is nothing wrong with the "professional" provider/client relationship.  It's just that we're the ones that are on the outs with the guys who make the rules.

I have met several wonderful ladies in this business.

All of whom were nice people.
Most of them were people I would have liked in the real world.
A couple have become good, dear friends.

But, with apologies to the rest, one truly defines the word class,
Miss CiaraPhx.

I am honored to be her friend.

Just my opinion...
B

I agree with Carrie on this one. If we dont keep standards for ourselves, then well just become cave men and never contribute to the benefit and advancements of mankind.

as most married women have children which helps bond the relation.Sure, occasionally she wants sex-he doesn't and vice versa but that isn't the same as a client/provider relation! To be generous the hobbyist might be viewed as a serial monogamist...lol

Really, you think I shell out a monthly fee to yak it up with guys!? sheese.... What a turn off that would be!  well, Mr. Spock is an exception - and what would I do without the humor of Lex...!?   but seriously, I like the flirt.  

I mean, in here, no one can see my ugliness!  so I am as good as the next guy... who may be an Adonis... but not sooo gut wit da spelin.... sew eye kan git aweigh with lotts fo things..... hee hee!

did not sleep! I mean, they were expecting sex?  right? or perhaps things are different in London!  lol!!!  Bizzare - wanting sex? with beautiful women?  That is bizzare.... what would be bizzare would be having sex with barnyard animals... now that would be bizzare....  

or worse, living your entire life celebate... that seems to be to be bizzare....

within the limits of human behavior, your actions are not that bizzare, there are truly bizzare behaviors out there... and they scare even me!

however, I did qualify my statement that it applies to women (or men for that matter) who marry to be taken care of, ie their physical needs met.  Not all marriages evolve this way, but I would wager that a fair number do; mine was to be sure.

It seems like you might be burned out. Have you considered retiring ?  Maybe you need to look at the reason(s) why you have to do constant marketing ? Read books and do things outside of the hobby to focus on the positive.

and if you go shining a floodlight and looking with a magnifying glass at ANYTHING, you'll see the flaws of whatever-it-is.

Sanity is a relative template that no one I've ever met completely personifies, in or out of the hobby...

We do this job because we're good at it, regardless of whether or not we are "bent". There are many posters here in many lines of work, and I'm betting that we'd be hard pressed to do some of the things they do professionally with any degree of success.

And like Ciara said, for the most part (DUH) we are posting on here because it is free promotion, tho for me at least half of my posts are here because there are few places to discuss things hobby-related, and for me to be less "bent", I have to be able to think things thru and get feedback.

A married gf and I joke that she's a provider with one client.

her husband, for the slow guy in the back. :P

I don't suppose most of us thought about being in this hobby when we were young.  There is an enormous capacity to rationalize our behavior and adopt standards that fit what we actually do - it's too hard to live with the inner conflict otherwise and changing our behavior is even harder.  

But when I am really betraying a core value (which is how I read your comments overall) eventually the weight of my own self-betrayal breaks through my defenses.  So, while many here clearly do not seem to feel what you do, it seems to me being a provider generates self-hatred in you as a result.

If this is true, and if being in the corporate world is not an attractive option, it sounds like it's time to consider Plan C.

you're absolutely right, so is insanity! In this context some experts describe insanity as an individual's creation of a comfortable environment(to him)as a substitute for what he perceives as an intolerable envirnment.Who is then to judge what's sane or insane.

I guess a milliion men just learned something about there SO.

Then you'll not only be bent, you'll be bent over. Have fun whoever you are!!

Most women don't become doctors. Most women don't become CEOs. Most women don't become bank tellers. The overwhelming majority of women don't become anything in particular, other than mothers, but being a mother doesn't stop you from being a doctor, CEO, bank teller or provider, too.

This job isn't for everyone. Why it isn't for everyone isn't necessarily about being dysfunctional or "bent", although, obviously, anyone that does it in the USA is willing to operate outside the usual rules of society. That's something many people are unwilling to do no matter what the subject is.

Ciara, well stated.  You epitomize class or should I say first class.

-- Modified on 5/1/2006 6:42:38 PM

When my rose-colored glasses fall off, I put them back on immediately. But I do it in a really cool, macho way like Chad Everett from "Medical Center". Chicks love that.

I am a sl*t and I do lots of men.. professionally AND nonprofessionally.. and I dont lie about it.  Authenticity in this profession actually can be a bootiful thing.  Of course sometimes the s*x suxs and my jaw hurts and my butt is on fire from being pounded for the 3rd time that day and I am tired and I dont wanna open the door for my 4th.. and that is when I take out my vibrator AGAIN and masserbate about what a dirty rotten little tramp I am.. and I cum and I cum and I cummmmmm cause I LOVE IT! But I will say.. I am very lucky because even though I did not get the gift of small talk and nonliteral butt likkin or a 9-5 career attention span.. I did get the ability to eroticize just about anything.  Sooo in the end it really is ALL ABOUT me.. and money just isnt enough to keep me interested without the YUMMMM factor.

-- Modified on 5/2/2006 1:16:05 AM

The delusion that everybody thinks like you?  

I've talked to a few great **retired** providers, who no longer had an interest in the self-promotion of which you write.  One of them is a woman I will never likely meet in person, and no longer goes by the only identity I know her by. I have to say, she's the same person before and after her retirement.  Her views, her writing style, her outlook on life haven't changed.  She writes mostly of the same things.

I never considered her to be "bent."  She was able to bring herself to sessions, and her clients paid for that.  I've met a few tryster who I consider bent, but not so much because they are trysters or adult entertainers.  

If you have trouble with a 9-5 job, or subordinating yourself to a boss, or if you're a non-conformist, then being an independent tryster might be an option, but it doesn't mean you're really cut out for it.

However, as a male, I had the same problems.  I managed to groom myself to the task and hide the corners on my square peg, and obscure the fact that I don't fit. I might have taken your career track, but I would have had to see 12 clients at a flat 50 bucks a day-- with no hope of a raise.  

No, I didn't really check on that, but it's my best estimate.  

Normal biology says that you will crave male attention, like it or not.  Biology also says that you are more likely to have sex with a male who provides resources as opposed to one who doesn't.  Females are like that in almost any species.  

People like attention.  Buried beneath shyness or social anxiety, attention indicates power.  Sex makes people feel powerful, too.  Ladies in this business can overdose on both.

I will agree that you are in a business, but there is no business like it.  Your clients will pay more for your services than for **any other professional.**  Think about that.  This goes to the heart of our biology.  It's all not about sex, it's about all business.  But if it weren't all about sex, it wouldn't be about business.  

You do have a deep ambivalence about your work.     And perhaps sometimes, it can approach identity crisis or panic.  But take some pride.  You bring pleasure to the world like few others can.

...solipsism is where you think that the universe in effect revolves around yourself. Nothing exists beyond  the self and it's immediate experience, or even if it does it can't be verified. Or something like that.

Where do I collect my free BJ? No green super heroes to reply!

First meaning: that nothing exists but one's self and one's own states.  Interpretation: everyone else is understood as a state of one's self.

Second meaning: the philosophical theory that the self can be aware of nothing but its own experiences and states.  

It's not precisely that the universe revolves around you; the universe may still logically have its own separare unverifiable existence.  You just can't be aware of it.  

What you describe is meglamania or perhaps narcissism.

...describe solipsism, as mine did too. Nothing really to do with megalomania at all. Although you could describe solipsism in terms of a form of narcissism.

But it is nothing to do with the delusion that everybody thinks like you, as you originally stated. From what I learned at university anyway.

You just make sure your hair is perfectly done & smaile with your pearly whites.


Finally, rub it all over your perfect face and smooth skin.

Yes you too can be a classy cocksucker !!!

xo xo Lisa

so, you're right.  Still, there is a mistake in thought with her, though it was heavy-handed of me to say delusion, and I apologize for that.  

There are many motivations for ladies posting messages on the boards.  Promotion might be the proximate business reason.  It might be the results.  However, I do know ladies to have said that it is bad for business to post on the boards.  

Really, so much of the business, the way it's run, and the marketing niche she appeals to has to do with her personality, that for many, just posting certain things on the board will get them the type of clients they desire.  For others, the best thing to do is not post to the boards, but let others post about them if anything.

Since that much is dependent on other things in the lady's personality, it's impossible to say that the whole reason to post is for promotion.  The results are likely to be that, however.