How do you ladies feel about  hobbyists  bringing along his favorite condoms.I enjoy a particular   type, and dont expect   the provider to have a vast array  of selection  readily available.

Unless a gentleman is so well endowed that he must have his condoms specially made (which I‘ve never seen--but I would allow for the exception,)  I would hope that he would be willing to use one from my supply. (I do keep more than one kind.) It may sound overly cautious, but: I know that my condoms are stored in an environment that won’t weaken the latex--and were not kept in a wallet, vehicle, etc prior to use. I also check my brands against one of the handy little condom test-results charts that are released yearly--so I know that I have not inadvertently chosen a type that is more likely to break. Occasionally, even major manufacturers recall certain lots of condoms, though I have never heard the 5 o’clock news pass on such info--and I know that I do my best to make sure the ones in my collection aren’t on the list. Also, many ladies find that the lubricants added to certain condoms are very irritating (especially non-oxidol 9, but some others as well,) which would really spoil the event altogether.

If not for these concerns, I’d have no problem abiding by the gentleman’s choice. But, for the above stated reasons, it maintains my  peace of mind if I always make use of my own supply.

-- Modified on 7/23/2001 12:50:57 AM

I used to date a self-confessed control freak, but she's looking pretty mellow in retrospect.  

We love you Perspicacity, but it must be a lot of work being you.  

My definition does not include someone who insists on the observance those things that may potentially influence the well-being of both parties, as well as her own physical comfort.

To date, I have never had one break--or had any apparent failures while following the manner in which I see fit to do things; if the price I must pay for this is being accused of having `control issues’--such a label is definitely a preferable alternative (for me, at least) than knowing I am not doing whatever I can to prevent any potential mishaps.

I suppose that thinking in this manner is a lot of work...unfortunately, I cannot be any other way. It would be quite liberating to not even be concerned with such things, though. Maybe someday I'll learn how to forget those little details

But since you bring it up, I'll admit that I'm offended by her assertion that I'm too stupid or otherwise incompetent to get a condom from the store to her place intact.  Somehow, only she posesses the intelligence to perform this difficult task.  And this is all too frequently the subtext that runs through so many of her posts IMHO.  So maybe I am reacting to that on an unconscious level, and I'm willing to apologize if I am.  But when I reread my post, I don't see it.  

I go to a great deal of trouble to find and purchase the condoms that fit and work for me.  If I have to keep mine in my pocket so that I can make a forced choice among the brands she offers, then yes, I think that is unecessarily controlling behavior.  Why should I trust my safety to HER.  I don't know where HERS have been either.  Maybe she has a cat that chews them when she's in the shower.  Doesn't this work both ways?   I have no reason to trust her anymore than she does me.  

More importantly, why should my safety be subordinate to hers? Yet the assumption seems to be that the provider must be right and the client wrong.  What is basis for this?  I've known escorts who were irresponsible and I've known some that were brilliant women.  But the bottom line remains, I'm just as concerned about taking personal responsibility for my own well-being as she is.  Why should I turn over that over to her or anyone else?   Why would you suggest that course of action is preferable to me taking that responsibility upon myself?  I was buying, storing and using condoms before she was born, am I suddenly incapable,or does her being an escort impart unto her some special knowledge.

And please don't suggest I'm not taking the health and well-being of the woman seriously.  I've offered to show every escort I've been with a current AIDS tests before a first session.  None has ever responded in kind.  

-- Modified on 7/24/2001 6:47:06 PM

....glad to see you're back.  If I were selecting a debate team I think both of you would make the grade.  But aside from that....& more to the 'sub-topic' at hand--how extensive is  your selection of 'rainwear'? Just wondering what the chances might be of my favorite being among those offered.

However, you are always free to leave, if you feel your safety is being compromised.

For an individual encounter, I'd say the man is at higher risk of catching an STD from an escort.  When viewed over time, of course, the reverse would be true.

Based on TER's own survey shown on Monday (but now down) about 50% of the guys see between 0-1 providers/month (I'm going from memory).  I think it was about 75% see 2 or less/month.  

While there is no data to consult for the providers, let's be conservative and assume a provider sees 15 clients/month.  That's only one per day for three of the four weeks each month (weekends off).  Roughly speaking that means an escort has about 7 times more exposure to risk than the average hobbyist.  That means the hobbyest has a higher risk of contracting an  STD from an individual session with an escort than she does from him (simply based on his/her exposures to risk per month).

Now maybe that is what you meant when you said the escort is at the greater risk (and over the course of time I'd agree).  But for an individual meeting, the hobbyist takes the greater risk of the escort having been exposed to an STD (by a factor of about 7 in this example).  The hobbyist could, therefore, say that he has a greater risk of contracting an STD from an individual session than the escort and should take control of his own protection accordingly.   I'm no more comfortable letting someone else take that responsibility for me than is Ms. P.

We all view the world from our own point of view but should consider the other's position before we dig in our heels.  It's especially important on subjects that are potentially emotional, because there is no point debating feelings, only facts.

have the considerate people gone?

Sometimes I wonder... with increasing frequency.

Here's the simple solution:

If you have a favorite, ask her to carry it.

EE

I think that this was what GND was saying:

Because of differences in anatomy, women are at greater risk of acquiring an STD during male/female intercourse than are men. For example, during one act of intercourse, a woman's risk of contracting gonorrhea may be as high as 90%, while the risk to a man is about 20-30%; and, the risk of contracting HIV has been estimated to be eight times higher from man to woman as it is from woman to man.

And because the female anatomy often hides early symptoms of disease, women also suffer more severe, long-term effects from STDs. Morbidity associated with STDs is, overall, five times higher among women than men. Among women, STDs bring other complications, such as pelvic inflammation, infertility or cancer.


-- Modified on 7/25/2001 10:40:12 AM

I think I'd agree that any of the colored variety might look a little odd.  And flavored?  Nah, I like a gal who feels natural tastes best.  My favorite?  Crown SkinLessSkin..latex, no spermicide.  I don't think they're available in stores, at least I've never seen them.  I get mine on-line.  Now Fair Lady, are those in your current 'arsenal'??

there are two perspectives that need to be considered.  I think they are both valid.  

I apologize if any of my comments were viewed as personal, I only want to debate ideas and facts- not personalities and emotions.

I also didn't mean to be harsh when I said the client could leave if he felt his safety were being compromised.  I mean it.  We all need to take responsibility for our decisions.  If the provider is not willing to comply with a client's wish to use his own condom, if she is too intoxicated, if she is disappointingly unattractive--whatever--the client needs to make a decision as the whether or not to stay and not then complain about it, if he does stay.  I understand it's not easy.  It's often not easy for us providers to turn down client requests or to turn men away.  Guys feel sexually frustrated if they walk away, and we lose money and risk bad press if we turn guys away.  Just my opinion.

The difference between men and women is men know when to DROP IT.  I already apologized below (although for what I'm not sure about at this point).

Here's another fact.  I've read all her posts too, and the common thread running through most of her otherwise admittedly intelligent posts is a giant chip which she carries upon her shoulder and then uses to bludgeon those that dare challenge her position.  Interlaced with her good ideas is thinly veiled anger, resentment and attitude. That's what gets old- not her ideas. I can't imagine how anyone who feels this way about so many people could work in this field.

BTW, you are the one that turned this thread nasty which is not at all like you.  I guess a smilely face and "we love you Perscipacity" aren't enough to show light-hearted intent.  No more apologies from me, you are the one that made this ugly.  The worst part is it's clear you still don't believe there is another POV on this subject other than your own.  You've wrapped yourself in the emotions of STD's and quit listening to what anyone else is saying.  

-- Modified on 7/25/2001 6:44:55 PM

Praise the Lord, MegaHurt. You're preaching to the choir.

personally i use my own. I have had clients bring their own ultra ultra microthin Japanese condoms and I won't use them. They just don't seem strong enough.  
I guess what it ultimately comes down to for me is it's my body so if  i don't feel comfortable i just pass. no amount of money is worth more than my peace of mind.
I'm sure that there are some providers that won't have a problem with you using your own but i guess you can ask before you go if you can bring and use your own stuff (hopefuly they'll know what you're talking about). By the way, AIDS test don't mean much considering it takes months after initial infection for a accurate test(isn't that maybe how it broke out in the porn industry?)
anyway good luck

Haven't you and your friend/alter ego had enough fun for one week?  I think she already made her point in this thread (you should listen to her, she seems really smart).  

I thought turning things upon themselves was supposed to be my specialty, but you two have done a commendable job.

So how could you have a `specialty,' at all? Or is that you again Megahurtzs/NOTDEDYET/TRIKYDIK/AverageMale or whatever alias you might be using today?

No, Brightone and I are not the same person. I know you don't care much for me--but this use of aliases to `gang up' on me is really sad, mean, and unnecessary.

Mr. MObius,
I don't understand why you seem to be so bitter and mean. I too have followed your aliasas and mean spirited comments and truly think that you don't deserve to be on this board at all.  If you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the **** up.