...are part of my game plan. Any time I feel that I'm becoming jaded or burned out with ANYTHING, not just p4p, I step away from it for a while. I'll then reassess whether it's still something I want to do and, if so, get back into it.
If not, I maintain my distance until I feel the pull telling me I'm ready.If you were to take an honest look inward, is there anything that even though it hasn't left you wanting to drop out or stop completely, has left you with sort of a blasé attitude about this stuff in which you're involved?
But experience has greatly helped. My ability to research has vastly improved over the years but the bigger thing is, for me at least, is knowing when to take breaks from the hobby. I build in some downtime 2-3 times a year, lasting a month or more sometimes, and that has made me avoid becoming burnt out as it allows me to enjoy my dates even more.
Yes, this can become very addictive; breaks are imperative for sustainability.
...are part of my game plan. Any time I feel that I'm becoming jaded or burned out with ANYTHING, not just p4p, I step away from it for a while. I'll then reassess whether it's still something I want to do and, if so, get back into it.
If not, I maintain my distance until I feel the pull telling me I'm ready.
My ability to perform has gone down since I started in the hobby, and that comes with aging.
I get sad and frustrated when I cannot finish, the juice does not respond to the squeeze. It is a double whammy, bad return on investment and a cold reminder that my best days in the bedroom are behind me.
A former lover once told me I get bored easily. I guess that is true. I find, at times, the standard template for a provider session bores me. Kiss for a few, BBBJ, DATY, Fuck if I can, BBBJ to completion, see you later.
I have three ATF's in which we have found a groove which prevents boredom. Most, not all, new ladies I meet fall into the template. It's not fair to expect anything beyond that, and when it happens I know I am blaze mode. Not their fault.
In the present I will stick to my ATF's until I feel the itch to try someone new, or go into a market I have not visited since COVID.
A great question BTW.
Thanks for the post. I remember decades ago talking to a doc who told me about a patient of his who was still getting it on at 80! In hearing the story, that was my first introduction to the physical phenomenon of sexual latency. The 80-yo could only have sex once a month, but he reported that it was still great. I was young enough at the time that a daily orgasm or two was still the routine. Girlfriend/wife, or porn, didn't matter. Unfortunately, I've grown (aged) to know what that latency feels like. It pisses me off! It's not fair. It shouldn't be! LOL.
This hobby changed things up enough at the beginning to make the problem of latency almost forgotten. And that's where getting jaded comes in. The additional excitement from getting to fuck a girl 1/3 my age and doing it the way I want to is starting to feel not so new and exciting anymore. Damn. At least I had 7 or so months of feeling like I was in my 20s again. Ha! I thought the issue would be inability to get a hardon. That's easily fixed. What goes is, and I don't have better words to describe it, the easy arousal and resulting animal compulsion.
I got laid a couple nights ago and it was great. That was after a two-week layoff. Prior to that, I was still trying to be with a girl once a week, but in the last month it had started to feel forced.
I, too, have fallen in as a repeat customer where there's chemistry. I hate it when one of those girls leaves the area. I wonder when I'll be at the once a month stage. I'll have to remind myself that it's better than none at all!
...in the hobby is when there's been obsessive attachment to me by a provider, no doubt because of my wallet and not anything else lol.
Though these occasions are rare, it has happened usually with porn stars who I might see everyday for a few days, so much so that they perhaps let their guard down and spend more hours wth me than I'm paying them for, sometimes even overnight, maybe thinking it was turning into a SD situation for them.
And when I stop calling the next week they find a reason to come over and go nuts on me like I owe them something. I had one such girl ring my doorbell non-stop for about an hour in the middle of the night because I stopped responding to her texts or picking up her calls.
So in instances like these yes I have felt jaded and the need to take a break, but otherwise the hobby has mostly been worthwhile and pleasurable.
a simple text saying: "I had fun but now I'm moving on" could have avoided someone ringing your doorbell non-stop for about an hour in the middle of the night.
...that something similar wasn't already done lol!
a simple text saying: "I had fun but now I'm moving on" could have avoided someone ringing your doorbell non-stop for about an hour in the middle of the night.
There is a certain percent of escorts who generally like their profession and prefer it to many others available to them. Finding this makes the endeavor much more enjoyable, rather than the public perception that they are all financially desperate man haters.
Some great comments on this subject here on what is of course a complex subject.
I'll speak for myself in that the jading comes with realization that all this is really a just a transaction for services. I won't say "always", but most of the time it is anyway. It's the intangible difference between a woman wanting to be there vs a woman wanting to be there for the money. More or less because she has to be, not because she necessarily wants to be. As dumb as we are, guys pick this up. As such, the encounters should be viewed only in the "fun" context and when you unwittingly cross the line over to "wanting" or "thinking more", this when hollow experience or the "jading" sets in.
I liken this intangible difference in the experience of buying a motorcycle that's already been restored vs doing one yourself. Sure, you still have the same bike, but the former just takes money and is perhaps a hollow experience as a result. The latter takes commitment and is not.
Transaction for service ... there was just today a twitter thread by SW'ers who no longer have "free sex" with civies. It's called hypergamy and almost all women use sex in trade for support. Not saying they can't or don't enjoy sex, but they know they can trade it for support, so they do. Doesn't matter if it is sex work, girlfriends, or wives. It's just what women do.
I got seated for a dinner date recently knowing the lady, a newer provider, might not show...she didn't. It was that few minutes sitting there and realizing that while I wanted her to show, if she didn't, life would go on. And I did have other dates scheduled on this particular Vegas trip that worked out fine. More water under the blase bridge....
The attitudes, deception (Theft of service) & the hobbyists acting as if us "PROVIDERS" should cheapen ourselves just so they can have what they want.
Bingo! Taking breaks is important. It keeps things fresh. Especially with the highly limited supply in Bay Area at present.
I tried an experiment of taking a break, and found that Jnr responded well even a mediocre experience .. if you find yourself chasing the bigger, better rush, take a break.
Taking off on a tangent, seeing SW's on a regular basis have opened my eyes to just how transactional my relationships with past GF's/SO's were. Having lay down the crisp green bills before the legs opened made me realize that GF's/SO's are similar, just the timelines and currencies are different.
Some guys may have the true Charisma with women that actually make them love them "unconditionally" ,, but is it real?
As the BB King song went, "Nobody Loves me but my Momma, and sometimes I think she's jiving me too".
Bingo! Taking breaks is important. It keeps things fresh, especially with the highly limited supply in Bay Area at present.
Well, at least I'll die happy.