So...that is the whole point of this post. Just hi. Hello. Hey. Why do guys send messages like this? I respond to every message I get, even these, but I know many providers do not. Is this to "confirm" the provider is real? Boredom? The initial contemplation phase of booking a provider? What would be the point of sending a one word message? What is trying to be accomplished? I do not get these super often, but I would say about once a week. Half the time I will get a vague response back, the other half no response. Seldom does this person book an appointment.  Providers and clients please chime in!

I think it’s rude to reach out without providing any information I require when contacting me. As a professional provider who has spent lots of time, and money into building a brand/business the least you can do is read the content before emailing. If you read the providers fantasy reviews, and website before ever contacting them that’s an excellent way to see if you may have chemistry. I do reply to all my emails personally because I am 100% independent. I have $100 unblocking fee for those who continue to contact me & don’t respectfully read my entire website. I truly believe you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.  

Hello!

Mental illness, bots, extremely shy, trolls, etc. I think we tend to think everyone who ever contacts us, be it in the RW or this one, is a person probably generally well adjusted. Can you even fathom the number of anti-social men with little to no interpersonal skills that the addiction and overuse of smart phones and computers has created? It's a massive problem so the reasons for "hi" or "u avail 2nite?", to me personally, are numerous and sadly, quite understandable.  
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Personally, I would never respond to just a "hi" from a total stranger but that is me. You see fit how to handle these things in your own way.

And I’ll tell you why. I Wanna make sure she’s still alive.
I’ll see old reviews or profiles on sites that haven’t been updated in months or sometimes in years. And if she’s even still in my area..She caught my eye.. but is she still around??? Who knows  
So instead of me going through this whole long intro about me and what I’m looking for.., I’ll send out a flair. Hence the “Hola”. If she answers with the “Hi” back , then I’ll spill my guts  
See… does that help??

The anti-social and no interpersonal skills I think is a really good point you made. But because we as an industry function underground I don't think it is really common knowledge how to even approach sex workers. I think there is still this misconception that this is like dating but just using money. I can't even imagine the anxiety guys must feel if they are trying to hook up on regular dating apps and after getting rejected I can only assume the self esteem gets pretty low.

I said I respond to *every* message, so here is your response back!!!  

Thanks for your input, and I agree, it is a giant waste of time. I used to send pretty detailed responses, but now I just send "how may I help you?"  
Still a response but the ball is back in their court as to how they want to proceed and my sanity is still intact.  
Have a great weekend!!  

They change is up a bit:

Not something I do. Why as a potential client I reach out nicely and don’t get a response at all. Just the way shit is I guess 😝

Venting your frustration?  No wrong answer here.  But I don't think you'll ever get to the bottom of it.  Just decide you are going to reply asking details or ignore.

Once in a while, it is by mistake. I use several different devices / GUIs / email programs and on one of them, there's a common keystroke that jumps the cursor to and highlights the [Send] icon (unintended). "Enter" can then send the message before it's finished. HOWEVER!! I usually follow up with an apology ("Sorry, I hit send by mistake.") and the rest of the message.

I also accept text messages and frequently experience the same thing via text. “Hi”, “hey”, or “what’s up” are all popular introductions. Responding to same may be followed with a “how are you?”, then maybe 1-2 more mundane pleasantries before the conversation dies. Once in a while these exchanges include a question about my services that is answered on my site, in which case I send the link and that’s the end of the exchange. It’s rare to never that the “hi guy” turns into an actual appointment.

Just got a text message saying "Are you working today?" Even as an agency we get those kinds of text messages all of the time. No introduction at all. So all of the Hi, Hello, are you available bullshit just gets ignored and deleted. Even after 18 years we still get a whole new generation of time wasters who could never in a million years get screened. The more things change, the more they remain the same. N-E-X-T!

...one of its biggest casualties was the demise of the Newbie Board, which TER refers to as "FAQ for Newbies." In its heyday, it was a fantastic place for guys (and new providers too) to learn about the business from the ground up. Among the many things it covered was the importance of a clients initial interaction with a provider.  
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Many other topics were discussed there as well, and gents received advice from not only veteran guys, but directly from providers as well. It was a treasure trove of info.  
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Now, people come into this demimonde with less tools and experience to draw from than before and it is sad. No, that alone wouldn't have solved every problem you encountered, for as we discussed there are many reasons as to why men send abnormally short or bizarre first contact texts/emails, but its existence did help thousands of people over the years navigate these very treacherous waters of p4p.

I dont get how you can assert anyone has mental illness all from saying hi to a business.

Thank you for your response. So my question would be why not then just say "I saw an older review/ad for you. Wondering if you are still available in XYZ"?  
I would say at least 75% of gals don't even respond with the message of just "hi", so you very unlikely are even going to know if she is still in your area.  
The internet is a weird world and obviously we are all still trying to understand human behavior while trying to navigate it. There is obviously some motivation behind the "hi" , so I guess for me at this point I will still respond!!

Neither, I think I would go with confusion? Just trying to better understand the male psyche and their motivation behind this. I am a "just in case" provider so I think I will continue to respond, but you have no idea how many times I just want to respond back with "WHY did you just send a message saying hi?" Unfortunately though I think most guys are not really going to know either why they did and just say they don't know. Such is life....

Scarlett asked why someone would send her a one word email/text as an initial contact. I merely suggested it as one of any number of possibilities. A large number of the general population suffers from mental illness. Why would this lifestyle be any different?

The number belongs to say a family woman, or some innocent by standard. Remember, its been awhile since she's been active and the number might belong to someone else. Then they'll get the "I saw an older review/ad for you. Wondering if you are still available in XYZ"?  could you imagine the conversation?  
I've had those conversations and my reply has been the "opps, my bad..sorry"....Hence the occasional "Hi".

-- Modified on 3/22/2025 6:21:51 PM

I get it, you don't play in my world. Now I would NEVER do this to an agency...I know better.

Tell if it's an introduction, or testing to see if someone will respond. However someone who have done their research and see that you're  an established provider should never make such a lackluster  introduction.

The poorly worded emails that you get and end up responding to, in grand scheme of things, cancel out the properly worded ones that we send and never hear back from the provider.  Go ahead and keep responding in order to keep the balance in the Universe intact.  The Universe loves balance.  

? Does she require you to share your ethnicity?
 East Indian decent maybe she’s prejudice…

Thank you for your response. Are you asking her for an outcall? Is that a service she provides? Does she require screening information from the first email? Does she prefer you text her? And I hate to break it to you guys, but there are very few providers that care about your TER ID nor do they utilize it for DMs. Also there are a segment of providers that if you even mention you are active on here that is an instant no go for them. Does this provider require a deposit? Obviously I am just speculating all of this so there are a lot of different directions we can take as to why she did not respond. There are also providers that unless you give a specific day/time/location they are not going to respond either. You were polite in the message, but we have a lot of unanswered variables as to why she let it go to the wayside.

Where exactly did you learn to start a sentence with a question mark ? LOL

She has email published.. So who knows she prefers text... Why publish email then to begin with.  I might shoot her a text in a month or so to see if she responds.  

Even in a professional environment like work, I ignore anyone that just sends a "hello" or "hi" or any of that shit. Send your fucking traffic.

I see it as disrespectful, laziness. What, you can't even form a whole sentence? What a waste of time.

I think the largest message this is sending is lack of commitment. There are many many reasons why. But in all likelihood, someone who sends a basic simple minded message like "hi" is almost certainly not committed. They probably have some level of interst, but have not really put thought into it. So, when you write them back, they may actually first start thinking about it. It's you who triggers a step that for other guys is a natural step they take before sending you a message.  

I pretty much answer every email and text personally or via auto-responder (shortcuts on iOS are a game-changer). However, after a while, I definitely streamlined things a bit and created template messages for common inquiries, etc that I either keep in my drafts (emails) or notes (texts). And if someone asks something specific, I can tailor my response to fit the context. It's been a time-saver!

You definitely appear to be a true professional operating as a professional business person.👍
Communication, communication, and communication  almost beats “The Deed”  NOT!!!

I think there are much better approaches than just saying "Hi" or "Hola chica". I can see that easily being ignored and/or blocked regardless of it being an indie or an agency.

There are a few reasons that some guys, like me, prefer to play in the area we are comfortable with and TER has a large enough playground to stay delightfully entertained in.  I will share my handle when traveling and have had phenomenal luck in using it and avoiding invasive screening and at the of the day...everyone is happy.  This is of course, combined with traditional references.  There is a sweet spot, at least for me that relies on seeing veteran providers who will vouch with other veteran providers and it works because most of them are mature.  So, TER isn't always bad...unless you try and use that over on X or a few other platforms that are filled with women that you might not want to see or much less, trust.  Filled with wonderful women too, just easier for the baddies to rebrand and start over.

...if you're getting 3-4 per day from actual providers, then you must have contacted a massive amount of pros from your work email.  I've likely emailed maybe 200 pros over my career and I don't think I've ever got a single random and unsolicited email.  I think you need to rethink how you are doing this!  

These are just everyday nuisance emails from people trying to see something.

Did you just use the word hooker...?   That's so unlike you.. LOL

If you don't want to give your information that is fine and completely up to you, but why are you wasting provider's time by contacting them if they require it? You are asking why the provider did not respond to your message because you said you were very polite, but what do you think the average provider is going to think if they do actually log on to TER and read all of your posts? Obviously we all know you are a real person, but I am absolutely befuddled by guys who post derogatory, mean, rude and slanderous things about providers and then are confused when providers refuse to see them. Thinking that your posts will actually help you see providers and for them to feel comfortable seeing you is mind boggling.

If I had to guess, I’d say that a lot of these are kinda socially inept guys who are not good at conversation, and this may be their first foray into the sex business. Maybe they’re just testing the waters and not actually looking to book an appointment yet, but they’re in the “thinking about it” stage. They are probably unsure exactly how to get to the awkward  topic of sex for money—do you get right to the point? But that seems so direct… do you beat around the bush and hope that she knows why you contacted her and will lead the conversation? Maybe they are a little intimidated with what they are considering going through, and think it would be a little easier if they go slow, build a little rapport with a warm woman who will “hold their hand.”

and said "kink" instead of "kind".

If your stance is "my way or the highway" don't be surprised when providers take the highway. You might think a TER ID should be enough but you're not the one sucking dick for money (plus you probably wouldn't get tons of offers anyway). Sharing your TER ID might be a liability too. They might actually read your posts and see how your treat providers on the board. Some providers don't just screen out dangerous clients and LE, they also like to screen out unpleasant and demanding clients. Don't expect people to be flexible for you if you're unwilling to be flexible. Your original e-mail probably didn't get a response because she doesn't want to travel an hour to see a client and/or b) she has specific instructions/procedures for booking and screening that you aren't following. Some providers are tough, unless an e-mail has all or most of the screening information they request up front.

The thing is that you don't even know the provider in question. So how do you know what she wants and don't want.. You are just speculating..   The provider did not have any such specific instructions on her site.. It's a pretty generic site of a low profile provider.    

You asked the question of "why did this provider not respond?" You were given multiple reasons, several you did not want to hear because they were directed at your behavior. 420 Eva gave you almost the exact same response yet you only gave push back to the two providers that responded, myself and Bia. Why do you think that would be?

Finally someone who has common sense and can see both sides..

Why website.. I roll eyes at every single post of hers..  lol

She hasn't registered on my radar as worthy of pushing back... YET !!  

I would not sweat it. I know it could be frustrating but expecting everyone to answer you is unrealistic. I would agree if you said it's not nice for a biz to do it but nonetheless.

He clearly said that they're spam. I get similar texts all the time on my real phone.

One of my (free) emails gets spam and phishing all the time. The email company COULD do better filtering but they want me to pay extra for their filtering. (I just delete and block ... but new ones keep coming.)  
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All of my other emails are much better at filtering out the spam for me.  
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HELPFUL SUGGESTION:
Check your email settings. Many have relatively easy ways to set up your own filters:  
Example: "If subject contains 'beautiful women who will fuck you for free - link inside' then send to spam folder and block sender."

Honestly, I think it's that sometimes people forget the context, and they're trying to start a conversation as if they would in person. However, they probably aren't that good at starting conversations in person either. This is the wrong context for "starting a conversation".

A few questions.  Why would having a TER ID be bad?  What is a "just in case" provider?  How would you like the first email to go?  "Hi Scarlett.  My name is XXX.  I came across you on YYY.  Was interested in having a 2hr outcall with you sometime.  My schedule is flexible this month, so if it's amenable to you, I'd appreciate a few options for the evenings that you'd be available.  I'll get back to you in short order and we can begin the screening process"?

Providers prefer that you ask for a specific day and time and how long of a session you want before they spend any time screening you.  If she's low-volume, she may be willing to spend the time on spec, but most ladies want an idea of what you have in mind for a meeting date before they spend much time with you.  If your schedule is so flexible, why not just start by giving her a date?   She will either say that date is good and go into the screening, or she will propose an alternate date near the date you wanted.  "Give me some dates when you are free" is one of the badges of a TIMEWASTER.  

Yeah, I should have limited the time frame to week rather than a month, but I'm just not putting that much thought into a pretend email to a pretend hooker.  The reason for not picking a specific date is many of the girls I'm interested in close for business between 7-9pm and I want to meet later in the night.  Further, many don't take same day appointments, though I assume they might make some exceptions for regulars.  As far as not having reviews, stay outta my pea vines.

Kgirl agencies.   Since you don't have any reviews we can't tell what city your home base is, but many larger cities have them.  IF you're new, they will ONLY take a same-day appointments.  Conversely, "regulars" are the ones who get advance booking privileges, after they have proven they are not prone to last-minute cancellations or no-shows.  

Same. I agree with you. I feel like they are just looking for a pen pal. These “Hi” guys rarely want more than you keystrokes.