Any comments on Hobbying versus Dating  ??

-- http://www.ishkur.com/posters/dating.php

Any comments on what "civvies" provide compared to what "professionals" provide (how long, how much effort for results, how good, how real, how open minded, how satisfying) ??



-- Modified on 2/24/2008 5:00:02 PM

I will never expect you to listen with rapt attention to me comparing the merits of mules versus sling backs.

I will never ask you if an outfit makes my ass look big.

I will never call you at 3 am just because I was thinking of you (and never for once thought you might be sleeping).

And most importantly, I will go away when we are done having our fun

See why I love being a cheeky tart??

The only way for a middle-aged, married fat guy to get this is to pay for it...

It's very difficult if not impossible to pay them to "go away" (especially if you ever want to see them again).

In FULL agreement with Sin.

Especially if you go away after we had our fun.

Providers provide a limited experience where it's action oriented, usually. If friendships develop, great, but lest you forget, you're paying for the lady's time and to be nice to you when she might not give you a second look on the street.

A civvie is someone who is there because she wants to be with you, not your money (hopefully- otherwise that's a seperate category, gold digger.) With a civvie, you have a relationship that's all about a variety of things, but if it's solely to get laid, she's what you call a booty call which is nothing more than free empty meaningless 2am sex with someone cool. Of course, you could always just be boning someone, which in the 20-something bar scene means you're "seeing" someone. lol. If you've committed to her, she's your gf and you can expect to be her date to family affairs, the person she laughs with, cries to, spends lazy Sundays in bed, etc... (I could go on and on like this all day. haha.)

If after your 84 reviews, this post is intended to help you redistinguish the lines between the 2 or to encourage you to find a civvie, I'd recommend not treating a civvie like a provider. In fact, I'd recommend that you figure out in your mind what it is you want from a lady in general. Stop looking at civvies as what they can provide for you. Either you want to grow a relationship with someone or you don't, but your post makes me think you're too busy looking out for your needs to worry about a relationship with a civvie...  unless of course it's cheap meaningless sex. Then I would say cruise the bars, buy drinks and hope she doesn't pass out on you on the way back to your place.

Always a brat,
Katie


-- Modified on 2/24/2008 2:18:02 PM

More fun.

Now wait, wouldn't getting married kind of ruin the whole thing?

LOL how about just marry me for an hour or two

One of my clients just asked me this...

My response-We both get what we really want without all the stresses or expectations of a relationship.

Now, I would date if I could find a single guy that was comfortable with me seeing other guys, even I weren't a provider. I don't believe in monogamy. Maybe I haven't found one, because I haven't really been looking. LOL

I'd like to ask some of my 'civvie' male friends why they don't consider hobbying. Their dating lives seem so stressful and they're spending money, anyway, and are so often disappointed in the end result.

really "gets" me. One that makes love to me because she REALLY wants to. One that cherishes me and worships the ground I walk on, and does it all out of the pure goodness of her heart.

She then and only then takes a modest sum, that was mutually agreed upon before hand, in payment to leave, after I remind her that our time is up. And on her way out she reminds me that she can return (with only a day or two notice) whenever I need some more.

Now that's MY idea of a civie girl friend. Anyone know where I can find someone like that?

**wink wink**


-- Modified on 2/24/2008 7:03:44 PM

are only good for the donation?

You may call me at 3a for any or no reason whatsoever, hon.

D.

P.S.:  I just bought a new pair of pants.  Do they make my ass look big?

I don't really see it that way though some (not all) of the ladies may. I don't see a provider over and over simply because she is hot and the sex is good. If I see a lady a second time or more there is some sort of connection beyond the sex. It doesn't mean I'm looking for a "relationship" but I am more inclined to repeat with a lady who holds my intellectual interest long term.

Escorting can be a lonely occupation and I have developed great friendships with ladies who just want to open up a little beyond the date with a guy that they can trust.  Married guys are also often very lonely and, while they may not be willing to leave their wives, they are more than open to forming a friendship with another woman. A friendship with absolutely no expectations on either side that goes beyond living in the moment!

Love your answer, Katie.  As usual, you hit the nail right on the head.   Have you ever thought about transferring to a college in Florida, preferably in the Tampa area?

Love ya,
Swim

a very particular degree and a very particular faculty mentor. In the field I want to go into, this is the spot to be.

Katie

They make your ass look fine hon.....but is that a sausage in your pocket or are you just happy to see me??

Great idea.  Maybe the next time I'm up your way I can marry you for an hour or two.

"I want a woman that truly loves me andreally "gets" me. One that makes love to me because she REALLY wants to. One that cherishes me and worships the ground I walk on, and does it all out of the pure goodness of her heart.

She then and only then takes a modest sum, that was mutually agreed upon before hand, in payment to leave, after I remind that our time is up"

I thought this was describing a prenup, marriage and  divorce!!!!LOL!

LOL You have a standing invitation to meet me at the altar - for an hour or two - anytime you are in my neck of the woods

I think you would make a wonderful father to my children .....

And why haven't you called me ? You dont pay as much attention to me as you used to ....

lol

xo Lisa Butler

I hope people recognized that my post was tongue in cheek.

-- Modified on 2/24/2008 7:11:47 PM

I've never found it particularly cheap nor meaningless.  It might mean you wasted your money and got crabs, but I would not call that meaningless.  

I'd draw the line between GOOD lays, and BAD lays, and that depends a lot on what you are up for at the moment.

Part of the problem, as you know, is that men tend to fall in love with the good lays.

and you cannot imagine how many women want to live that movie!!

Once upon a time, I hired a receptionist because I thought she'd be a cold professional.  Hell, she'd been a probation officer.  

Two weeks later, she does this scene in front of God & the whole office that she "couldn't stand it anymore!"  Stand WHAT, for chrissakes?!!!!   "You don't look at me like you look at her!!!"

Well, you don't have triple Ds!!  No, I didn't say that, and it wasn't true.  Thank God everybody thought she was as crazy as I did, and she ran out, we didn't have to call the men with the butterfly nets.

Most of the professional women that I have met, I think of in terms of "what if we had met under different circumstances" or "earlier in my life."  There are few civie women that I have met who are as interesting, charming or as fun to be with as my escort friends.  I have shared much with my escort friends.. and they with me.  

And just so the skeptics among you don't get too smug... I know more than one escort who won't see "just anyone."  In fact, some of them, I consider it an honor that they would be with me.  And some, it has been more than just a paid date.  More like an evening with a friend... a very close and personal friend...

So with that as background - why this route rather than civie date?  for starters, I am at a stage in my life where I just do not wish a great deal of committment... I also do not have a lot of time to "fiddle around" trying to get it right... (heck, that takes a lot of time).  and finally, most of the women I know in my civie life, if I did go with them, if I messed up, it would make work or community life difficult... and I just don't want that.  So aside from the sex, there are a host of reasons I do this... but one of the reasons is the quality of ladies I have met who happen to work as escorts.  guess - I've been lucky....

for the most part, if you connect... you connect... no matter what the line of work is.  and she is a kind soul and I enjoyed our talks....

and desire me like I desire her.

Nothing like love.

Perhaps I should've taken a bit of time to clarify my previous response.

The second paragraph should have began:

If I were looking to get married, then …

My statement about dating (in regard to the topic of this thread) was made with the end result being marriage for me and the guy I'm dating. I can't marry someone who is already married.

I don't 'date' in the 'civvie' world and I'm not looking to get married. So, I could care less if the men I 'date' in this world are married or not. Also, it's not JUST for the donation, I happen to LOVE sex.

cheap meaningless sex= one night stands.

One night stands aren't hard to have, but you have to be aware of the risks... A little liquor, some charm and you're halfway there.

I have to tell a story, though, 'cuz I just heard and am laughing my butt off bc I could just imagine this...

A guy I know thinks of himself as quite the lothario. So he invites these 2 drunk chicks he picked up at a bar back to his place for a 3some. He shows them his cool stuff that he just bought on a new best buy credit card and acted like a "baller." They undress, start to play and he's thinking he's the man. He fucks them and afterwards goes off to the bathroom to clean up, shit, shower, whatever the hell it is that had him in there for like 20 minutes (probably call his boys on his home phone to brag.) When he came out, the girls were gone and so was his laptop, his camera, his cell phone, his expensive stereo, etc... He was so disappointed and pissed. I told him the last time I saw him to stop wasting his time on scandalous looking chicks... lol. Poor guy.

No, I can say with absolute certainty that your ass looks absolutely perfect. As to fathering your children, well I am pretty certain that can never happen, but it would be a hell of a lot of fun experimenting

it took two big guys working together to carry the parts up the front steps from the truck. Even if the girls leave the screen and just rip the wiring out (shudder) good amplifiers are HEAVY and good speakers are BIG. I can just see the girls standing by the curb trying to flag a cab (I assume he drove them to his place and their car is back at the bar) holding these speakers that are bigger than they are.

...at least for me.  I live with a hot, beautiful 30-year old woman who speaks French fluently, is happy to be with me, and lets me run my own affairs, NSA.  I'm 65.

You get to fuck who ever you want and she doesn't care....