Summer Classes for Men at

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August   17th 2008    


NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.  

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.  

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.  

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.  

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM  

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM  

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.  

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined  

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.  

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined  

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.  

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.  

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.  
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

any of these courses (Indeed, I could teach them.) with the notable exception of #9 (asking for directions.)  I won't even use a GPS, that's how obstinate I am about this.  (I once rented a car with one and by the end of the trip, Blinky [As I derogatorily refered to it.] had folded its semiconductor arms and stopped talking to me.)

For some reason I find it the height of emasculation to have to ask for directions, as if acknowleging such a thing is tantamount to admitting that I am a failure as a man.

Thus I compensate by studying maps religiously before setting off on any trip, and exuding confidence to my passengers even as they try to tell me that we are at least ten miles past the turn off I should have made.

I have often wondered if this fixation (delusion?) is despite or on account of my Hebraic ancestry.  As you know, Jews despite their small number have risen to the top of just about every field of endeavor you can name, from academics, to the arts, to science, to politics and every field in between - even the military!  Yet I will bet you can not name even one Jew who ever achieved fame as an explorer - not one!

As you know our ancestry goes back to Moses, who spent 40 years wandering in the desert because he wouldn't stop at an oasis to ask for directions.

It is also true that some believe that Columbus' ancestry includes some Jewish blood (And certainly a number of his crew were Jews looking to flee the Spanish Inquisition.) but also remember that Columbus was looking for India when he landed on the island of Hispanola, nearly 12,000 miles off the mark!  To this day, native Americans bear the false moniker of "Indians" as testiment to his miscalculaton.

I actually have a session set up for Tuesday at 6, but I'll be there the week after.  (If I can find the place.)

We seem to have some conflicts.  Maybe we should get to together and work out our "differences."

Find course that teaches you to deal with it and stop changing others.

Get a life while at it.

delete the part that said this was written in August of 2008!  lol!  Sorry I missed the course.
Also, in class 3 you left out the part about when we're finished pissing we must put the seat down again so you don't sit your delicate ass on cold porcelain in the middle of the night or, worse yet, fall in!

I do think this is funny. I'm laughing as I read. But I am wondering is this post by someone that thinks it's just funny and did it for laughs or does she (assuming) really think this way about men.  Some of this does matter. One and just one example, remember b'days etc.  However it's sad if she is just one more person that thinks men and women should think, act and be the same. We are not the same on so many levels and it's that way on purpose. Viva la difference.

hmm, u know me?

But now that we've split up, I am backsliding!  lol!

for quite some time.
For some reason, I feel certain you' need no directions after you've pulled my panties off..ohh yeah

-- Modified on 11/6/2011 3:49:24 PM

That would be disappointing, indeed.

Although I'd likely forgive you because claiming that Moses "spent 40 years wandering in the desert because he wouldn't stop at an oasis to ask for directions" is definitely the funniest thing I've read today!