I am fairly new to this world but am enjoying my initial forays into it. It seems to me that some people on this board would recommend keeping this area of their lives "private" or separate from their friends. I was wondering if this was pretty much the majority view or not.  

but I am not part of the majority.

I don't hide the fact that I have sex with prostitutes, I don't wear it like a badge of honor in day to day society, but nor do I hide the fact. Most of the whore mongering I discuss is the mongering I do in Latin America where it is perfectly legal. If the conversation continues, sometimes it segues into talking about the hobby here at home.

My advice is that if you are married, or could lose your job, or have any other unwanted consequences from people knowing what you do, Keep it to yourself. If  you live a Charlie Harper type of life like I do, where every one knows you are a whore monger, that's a different story

So far, I have not told a single soul in my real life about this additional 'hobby' of mine.  Heck, back in the beginning, when I bothered to go to confession, I would go to a completely different church so I didn't risk facing my priest, lol...  I once even had a friend and work colleague tell me about his sexcapades with escorts.  I simply tried to look astonished, be non-judgmental, and took a mental note of the provider he was seeing to be sure I crossed her off my To Do List...  It even took me a while to start writing reviews, let alone begin posting on these boards.  I have found it helpful though.  I am also lucky to have made a few good provider friends, and have even gotten to know a few fellow hobbyists through BC as well.  All the more reason now to keep my hobby life completely separate from my real life.

Long term consequences and loose mouth sinking the ship could happen. It is best not let others know everything about you.

My friends all saw escorts before I did.
They did the BP route. Cheap girls, and brothel type houses.
When I decided to do this. I was smart about it, and found this place.
So I told my oldest friends what I was up to.
More to brag about what they were missing out on, than anything else... Stupid stupid me..

...it casts you as a pariah for most of mainstream America. The fewer people who know of your new avocation the better!

Great points on both sides.  It all depends on the kind of life you lead.   Mr. Spartan and I are of the same view.   Why add additional risk to already risky behavior?  Once you tell one person, it's no longer a secret.
It would be one thing where you and the friend have killed someone and buried the body in the woods!  
But I don't think that's the case.  My suggestion is to play it close to the vest.  
Have fun and be safe.

But that's just me.  In general, it's best to stay mum, although the freedom I have to talk about it is liberating.

It took me a long time to share with a good friend of mine my secret life lol
I only did because he talked about his all the time with anyone
Turned out to be a mistake and I lost a good friend over it
Live and learn

Tell No One-Period-Ever....No good comes from revealing this to any living person.

Treat everyone in your real life like LE, and STFU about your Hobbying...  There is too much risk involved.  The less people that know, the better...  You can only decide for yourself, but I for one will not be sharing my sexcapades with anyone IRL..  Luckily we all have TER!

I also introduced her to my GF at the time who is a retired provider that I first met as a client. My mother being a very open minded woman, was/is completely fine with it, and her and my now ex GF, but still FWB, are still "facebook family"

I hate hypocrites, and I refuse to make my life a lie. I am not a bit ashamed of anything I do, and if people don't like it they can GFY

All were accepting of me doing it, 2 wanted to try it as well but never did. Feel better keeping quiet now.

-- Modified on 1/28/2014 1:31:36 PM

1st time, are you kidding me I had to tell someone, I was going to explode if I didn't! ( I was kind of excited about seeing all these hot girls)
2nd time, just the guy who would make it a priority to get me out of jail if that was to happen.
This time, undecided, less worried about LE, done meeting new people for awhile.  
 

Thank you one and all for your response(s) to my query. Just asking the question of this group has been somewhat liberating. While I have little risk in revealing this I think the potential judgment of others is probably not worth attempting to discuss this. In other words the "reward" of freely discussing this is probably not worth it to me.

It's not so much that it's a secret, but it is a rather personal and private aspect of life.

And knew you were doing the civvy GF thing. Sorry it didn't work out and even sorrier to hear why. Your former "bro" is a giant asshole, and it goes to show you never know who you can trust. It's also sad the girl couldn't just accept that as part of your past. You weren't doing it while you were with her. You didn't only give up mongering. You even gave up posting on the boards!

-- Modified on 1/28/2014 11:37:44 AM

Was the reaction of those I told, shocked at the beauty of the girls I had seen and awe'd by the fact that I had somehow pulled it off without getting busting or ripped off. lol
None of us were aware of the "hobby" or how to hook up with any sort of P4P really. Sheltered lives I guess.
I recently mentioned to one of the original guys, who has been turning into grouchy old man lately, that he should hire a girl friend, maybe it would cheer him up (he's a widower). After telling me to get off his grass, he looks at me and says "I have a moral problem with that, and I'm not a very moral guy"  idk if that was a shot at me or what.

Do you want to hold your breath every time a buddy gets drunk?  Imagine, you find the love of your life...  quit the hobby, trash your hobby phone & delete your hobby email account...  your Best Buddy stands up at your wedding & toasts the lovely lady that "took you away from the whoring life!"  (Shock intended, remember said best buddy is drunk!)   This is a secret world...  if you must "talk about it" here is the place.    

I am single, no children, self employed in a low profile occupation, and not at all any kind of public figure. So if I am outed it wouldn't really hurt me. However, I don't feel the need or desire to mention this part of my life with my family and friends

I really don't talk about it much either, except for a couple of friends who live vicariously through me.

as I said before, I am not the least bit ashamed about what I do, and I don't really give a fuck about the people that don't approve. I don't bring it up at every opportunity, but I don't shy away from it either.

IMO how is this business ever going to move out of the shadows if even the participants in it are afraid to speak out for fear of being publicly shamed. Didn't gay people go through that type of shit not that awful long ago. We are never going to change public opinion if none of us have the stones to stand up and be counted.

there is another woman who is downright intrigued by it. Like I said before, I don't lie about my whore mongering, it might not be the best topic of conversation on a first date, but I find that women can put up with "players" which they sometimes find rather sexy, than "liars" who nobody wants to have a relationship with.

I will confess, I do find it a bit awkward when asked what my "number" is where it comes to how many women I have been with. Coming right out and admitting to literally "thousands" of women is a hard thing to say to a woman you are trying to woo. lol

I didn't mean my post to come off as saying you guys talk about it.

Just that you guys won't be hurt by being outed, and neither would I.

I will confess I have a lot of disposable income, and although I "date" mainly escorts, that doesn't mean that I date "only" escorts.

At 55 my ability to attract women that I am attracted to is waning a bit. I can occasionally land a twenty something. I do a lot better attracting thirty somethings, and I have to run off the forty somethings with a stick. You don't even want to know about the fucking cougars over fifty. They can't believe that I don't have the slightest interest in them.

For a while... Hell sometimes I still feel like a whoremongering asshole who fucked up his civie dating life.

I am also new to this and I am just itching to tell someone. Why? Because it is natural for me to want to share something so "powerful" a human experience.

The people you can "trust" to handle a secret like that is few and far between.

I guess.  
But you are rich right? No offense..  
That changes everything.
Plus.. Didn't you just say you mostly date escorts?
That's also a different story..

Maybe your doctor. Indeed, yes, let your doctor know what you're doing and get tested regularly.

For me? At first?
Was I addicted? FUCK YEAH!

And she shrugs and says, "I don't know. What do you usually do?"

but I have a standing invitation for anyone who wants to join me in Costa Rica, your Dad is spending all of next month down there.

loose lips sink ships! I do get tempted to tell some of my divorced friends who are suffering going back into the dating scene and wanting to be with younger women and though they do get together with them of course they soon realize these girls are just interested in their bank accounts (yes they are that dumb) and end up getting their guts kicked in. I want to say you know I can recommend a hot girl for you to see that will rock your world for a few hours and not leave you in pain but no way no how I am going there they will just have to find their own way!

go to a therapist and talk about it.

Enough people have said don't tell to scare the shit out of me telling...for now.  

Please don't tell your Mom, but I'll be in Jaco for most of the month canoodling with Miss Ray Ban.  C'mon down and, if yore nice, I'll introduce you.
Super Bowl at the Blue Marlin, anyone?

Re define what "Being True to Yourself" Really means

You lost me Brother.. Sorry

From what you wrote..
I think of the Decent Into The Maelstrom. By Mr. Poe.

We are not worthy!

I remember being in the same position you were, not only wanting to tell someone for the sake of the fun of it but also wanting to bounce off ideas and hear from others who were hobbying as well. I have become friends with a couple of people through this board, gone to a couple of Meet & Greets and now i get together over coffee, or a meal every so often with a couple of guys I know and trust. This has helped me immensely in the hobby and it satisfies the unhealthy urge to tell my regular friends. Honestly, anyone you tell that is not in the hobby themselves will never think of you the same. I have never told one person outside of the hobby and I plan to keep it that way.

My best friend.  She was surprised, but fairly accepting of it.  By this I mean, not condemning at all.  But she does want me to quit.  If I could get in her pants regularly lol, maybe I would (she really is a hot MILF type).  She wasn't condemning because she has enough skeletons in her own closet (a lot of which she has told me about), so she didn't feel like she was in a position to judge me.

Where would I find out about Meet and Greets? Being new to this I'm still learning about all the resources on this site...thanks