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If it makes her...
octovert 1454 reads
posted

more able to role-play, then I'm for it. Those who have it might not see it in themselves, and those who call themeselves that might not really be sophisticated

SoftlySarah3029 reads

Do you look for it?  
In providers?  
In civilian partners?  
What does it mean to you?
Is it elitist?

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London Rayne1908 reads

If I were a guy, it would be the total package but in the land of "bang for the buck with a 19 year old" so far from their agenda. If she is hot and also sophisticated, good deal! If she is not hot to them, it won't matter a bit in most cases. Very few men care about that here, but I would bet they marry someone who possesses both intellect, a bit of sophistication, and a brain. Can't forget personality though. If you are boring as fk and sophisticated, not a good combo. No, it's not Elitist. It is, what it is.  

The same girl who can pick the right wine with the right gourmet cheese, should also be funny, cute, great in bed, and street smart. She should be the gal who is not easily manipulated, can wear that 18k dress and can change her own oil, but is not afraid to let her hair down whilst tossing peanut shells and burping at the right moment lol. It is the entire package.  

 



-- Modified on 5/21/2013 9:50:42 PM

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SoftlySarah1589 reads

Now that would be hot. :)

I agree with your take.  

And I also don't think certain posters here will be interested in sophistication. No- actually- I don't think many would even really know what it is.

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London Rayne1690 reads

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SinCitySinner1542 reads

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London Rayne1346 reads

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AlexandraMilw1430 reads

Yeah actually that would be! I know my way around cars but surely not out there in a dress (let alone an expensive one) doing it.

I think at that point, if the guy paid for that dress... I doubt he would get mad about it ha ha.

To me sophistication is being worldly and having a thirst to embrace other cultures and obtain knowledge. I also feels it entails manners.

Posted By: SoftlySarah
Now that would be hot. :)  
   
 I agree with your take.  
   
 And I also don't think certain posters here will be interested in sophistication. No- actually- I don't think many would even really know what it is.

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SoftlySarah1279 reads

a certain amount of education- be it self-education or formal. Well-read, as Bridgette put it. :)

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AnotherPerspective1505 reads

Sophistication has nothing to do with wine .  
    If she markets herself as sophisticated she's more often a dolt .  
       Memorizing a wine cheat sheet only requires basic memory ,
    not sophistication .  

 If you believe you are a more sophisticated  than  certain posters ,  
  use it in a sentence without looking it up .   :-D
 

Posted By: SoftlySarah
Now that would be hot. :)  
   
 I agree with your take.  
   
 And I also don't think certain posters here will be interested in sophistication. No- actually- I don't think many would even really know what it is.

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SoftlySarah1617 reads

Thanks for that. :D I am not a drinker, but I am trying to learn to appreciate wine. Quite the conundrum. Lol!

I make no claims to sophistication. ;) That's like "classy"- someone else has to decide that.

However, I will say that Carol Cohn makes a rather sophisticated analysis of war language in her essay, "Clean Bombs, Clean Language"

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London Rayne1378 reads

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SoftlySarah1250 reads

my wine appreciation course can identify the vineyard, type, and vintage of 30 wines purely by tasting them, smelling them and looking at them. She's one of only 30 wine masters world wide.  

But it's just a bunch of BS, right? Lol!!

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Nolklylu1747 reads

. . . And can leap tall buildings with a single bound. I am still searching for this package, although all I have to offer, in exchange, is simply eternal adoration.

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SoftlySarah1442 reads

here? She'd be your gal, no doubt! :)

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Nolklylu1422 reads

I am sure you are correct . . . So I search and search

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SoftlySarah1532 reads

http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/show.asp?ID=150990

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balljointnut1304 reads

Wow, I agree with you. DOH!

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SinCitySinner1614 reads

definitely adds value to the service if she is already good at it...

I am talking about providers alone. No experience with civvies..

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BigPapasan1489 reads

Related Link: http://theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=599693&boardID=12&pa...

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SoftlySarah1425 reads

especially for Mac. ;)

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macdaddy19441598 reads

a sophisticated lady is refined and cultured..you can always tell when you are with one..they never talk dirty and they never scream when having an orgasm..very rare indeed..

Posted By: SoftlySarah
Do you look for it?  
 In providers?  
 In civilian partners?  
 What does it mean to you?  
 Is it elitist?

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London Rayne1392 reads

You can be a sophisticated lady in public, and still a whore in the bedroom...oh yes, they exist. I am just not one of them bwahahahaa. I might be well traveled, domesticated, and educated, but I would not ever say classy, intelligent, or cultured. Hey, it is what it is ha ha.

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SoftlySarah1311 reads

Hmmm.... interesting take on "sophisticated". Sounds more like "prissy" to me. ;)

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macdaddy19441457 reads

nope.." prissy" is more Victorian.." Sophisticated " is more cosmopolitan..

Posted By: SoftlySarah
Hmmm.... interesting take on "sophisticated". Sounds more like "prissy" to me. ;)

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SoftlySarah1129 reads

by the super-ego according to your description. No screaming or talking dirty? Hmmm... interesting criteria for sophistication.

I think, like London, that a woman can be sophisticated and be wild. Education and culture do not expunge the id.

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macdaddy19441646 reads

in other words..a sophisticated lady will make for a boring provider..she is prim and proper..very ladylike..can never truly let her hair down and enjoy herself fully because of her sophistication..the ego is in control smartypants..i should call you Sarah Freud..

Posted By: SoftlySarah
by the super-ego according to your description. No screaming or talking dirty? Hmmm... interesting criteria for sophistication.  
   
 I think, like London, that a woman can be sophisticated and be wild. Education and culture do not expunge the id.
-- Modified on 5/21/2013 8:01:46 PM

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SoftlySarah1353 reads

But I don't think that sophistication demands that you are motivated completely by the super-ego.  

I think sophistication means that you know appropriate behavior no matter where you find yourself (and silence in the bedroom is most assuredly not appropriate behavior unless you have children or company).  

And a sophisticated person also knows how to be discreetly inappropriate. ;)

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London Rayne1476 reads

Many would even laugh at "classy" or "a lady" lol. The modern world thinks anyone who has random sex with strangers is far from being worthy of that title, much less one who will do it with multiple partners at a time lol. I think of Vivian Lee and many others from that era when I relate to women of sophistication. Barbara Bush comes to mind as well, though I don't want to fk her.

-- Modified on 5/21/2013 11:21:25 PM

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SoftlySarah1533 reads

And too funny. It's like racism- prejudice makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Ah well- their own loss, right? Keep the blinders on so they don't have to deal with too much information at once. :D

My comparison was Jane Seymour or Grace Kelly vs. Melanie Griffith or Jodie Foster...

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hotplants1331 reads

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case3211383 reads

I may not be the best judge on this as I have been known to shoot squirrels and eat them, and not because it was all we had. True story and mainly for London's benefit. But to me I would say clean, polite, able to carry an intelligent conversation, and communicate through emails like a sensible person. While I'm not the most highly educated person here I have a wierd grammar fetish. If her emails look like a high schoolers text messages then I don't proceed. I would rather spend time with a 8 in the looks dept that was intelligent and a great conversationalist than a drop dead gorgeous 10 that is an airhead. The total experience is more than just shaking the mattress for me. Speaking of conversation if I ever find a lady who can talk about hunting and fishing as much as me then I would defiantly be hooked. I like the contrast between my blue collar rural background and an educated urban gal. Makes things kind of neat, my ATF fits that mold and when we get together it flows well reminds me of that commercial they used to have for the KY yours and mine!!

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SoftlySarah1546 reads

I love your response! :) Thank you for taking the time to post. :)

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case3211766 reads

Glad you enjoyed it makes my day knowing I made a pretty lady smile.

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SoftlySarah1433 reads

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inicky461661 reads

Honestly, unless you explain yourself better, I have no idea what you mean.  And what does it have to do with P4P sex?

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SoftlySarah1446 reads

I am just curious about peoples' takes on this word and the concept. I'm having fun with the responses. ;)

It has a lot to do with it from my own perspective.  

I have learned a lot from being here on TER.

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London Rayne1235 reads

For instance, Rasha is what I would consider sophisticated but not boring. She has a personality. Being sophisticated means nothing if you put someone to sleep.

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SoftlySarah1490 reads

so•phis•ti•ca•tion (səˌfɪs tɪˈkeɪ ʃən)

n.
1. the process or result of change from the natural or simple to the knowledgeable or cultured; worldliness.
2. complexity, as in design or organization.
3. impairment; disillusionment.  
4. the use of sophistry.
[1350–1400]
Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary, © 2010 K Dictionaries Ltd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sophisticatio

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KSM461684 reads

A pleasure  to be with and then wild when the doors close and the intimacy begins. Sophistication brings with it Intellectual and social satisfaction which can serve as wonderful foreplay for a wild and exciting time together in bed. The one does not preclude the other! On the contrary, it could enhance the intensity of what follows.  
To relate to an earlier thread - a real connection with a sophisticated woman can lead to the truest, most intense orgasms .... which is not just cumming!

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SoftlySarah1236 reads

you'd have something perfect to say! :) You most certainly "get it".  

But I also see a more conflicted concept of "sophisticated", which is why I posted this thread in the first place: to wrangle with the meaning. But so far nobody's picked up on it. Well, maybe macdaddy a little bit...  

If you look at the definition for "sophisticate", you get a less positive connotation (sourced from same link as above):

so·phis·ti·cate  (s-fst-kt)
v. so·phis·ti·cat·ed, so·phis·ti·cat·ing, so·phis·ti·cates
v.tr.
1. To cause to become less natural, especially to make less naive and more worldly.
2. To make impure; adulterate.
3. To make more complex or inclusive; refine.
v.intr.
To use sophistry.
n. (-kt)
A sophisticated person.
[Middle English sophisticaten, to adulterate, from Medieval Latin sophisticre, sophistict-, from Latin sophisticus, sophistic, from Greek sophistikos, from sophists, sophist; see sophist.]
so·phisti·cation n.
so·phisti·cator n.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

And this concept of making something less natural is what I have been contemplating. I have been moving to an almost completely organic diet and thus search for more natural foods that are less processed. Processing ruins many foods' natural nutritional qualities. And in this case, sophistication is not so good. But does this bad connotation carry over to people? One could argue that a more natural and less sophisticated person is more desirable in this line of work. As macdaddy posted- maybe someone less sophisticated could be more given to their natural animal instincts in the bedroom.

But again, the concept of simple and natural when it comes to humans could also connote ignorant.  

It's the conflicting meanings that I've been fascinated by.

For a contrast: Jane Seymour or Grace Kelly vs. Melanie Griffith or Jodie Foster.

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KSM461324 reads

The Random House definitions are intriguing. They almost seem to put a negative rather than a positive spin on being sophisticated. But acting ( and being) sophisticated in one context in no way precludes being wild and uninhibited in intimacy. I love spending time with a woman who is worldly and knowledgable and intelligent and then, in private, watching her strip the clothing of "sophistication" and being uninhibited and passionate. That could be mind blowing!

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bridgetteofnyc1372 reads

Sophistication doesn't have to do with money or economic status, necessarily.  Being polite, ladylike (or chivalrous for men), well read, and curious.  That's partly what sophistication means.  It's almost a cliche, tacky, vulgar girls in expensive designer clothes.  They certainly aren't "sophisticated".

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SoftlySarah1305 reads

I believe you can't be truly sophisticated without some form of education- be it self-education or formal.

Loved your tumblr posts!

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jagelware1508 reads

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jagelware1363 reads

I'm not interested on sofisticated ladies yet, I'm still young enough to have a good f#k, but I think when I grow older I might have to talk more and play less - well maybe some blue pills can help -, at that time a lady who's educated and good coversationalist (sofisticated?) will make more sense. I think of sofisticated as an euphemism of "My rates are higher"

-- Modified on 5/21/2013 11:24:15 PM

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SoftlySarah1319 reads

Jane Seymour and Grace Kelly vs. Melanie Griffith and Jodie Foster? Which do you prefer?

Or Halle Berry and Salma Hayek vs. Jennifer Anniston and Keira Knightley?

-- Modified on 5/22/2013 12:04:15 AM

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KSM461424 reads

I prefer Softly Sarah! The others are all actresses! LOL

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SoftlySarah1294 reads

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liamdoherty1174 reads

Wow! nice choices, but I believe they are all "sophisticated" in their own ways.
All of them are intelligent, refined, cultured, beautiful women, albeit actress'.  their real life persona's are so much more than the character's they portray.

Not unlike us..... remember when Shakespeare said:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow.........

We relate being Intelligent, Articulate, Cultured in the "Arts" and Languages, and well traveled to be a sign of sophistication.  
We in our attempt to be "sophisticated" put on  "Airs of Sophistication", much like what London said.
Many perceive that to  be elitist; usually when it is accompanied by ("The Mask") snobbery, inhibition, and a general sense of superiority.

I believe "natural sophistication" is the above w/o the mask, and being completely "present", "equal", and "one" with whomever and where ever you are regardless of.....

While I like to think I am somewhat sophisticated, I too have my masks, that hide the "Real Me".
I know we all wear our masks.

What can be unique, fun and eventually erotic is getting comfortable enough with a partner, stripping away the pretense, and having it stripped away, and letting Our Passion flow.
 

Posted By: SoftlySarah
Jane Seymour and Grace Kelly vs. Melanie Griffith and Jodie Foster? Which do you prefer?  
   
 Or Halle Berry and Salma Hayek vs. Jennifer Anniston and Keira Knightley?

-- Modified on 5/22/2013 12:04:15 AM

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SoftlySarah1675 reads

Excellent post, Liam!

You're absolutely right about perceptions. I was using the actresses' perceived personalities to illustrate the concept I was trying to convey. But you're right that we do not know them personally, and to even be an actress in as good standing as these ladies all are, they would have to possess some sort of sophistication.  

So do we equate sophistication with intelligence? Elegance?

I think most of us agree that "affected" sophistication is not sophistication at all... Perhaps even the opposite.

Thank you so much for your thoughts!!

-- Modified on 5/22/2013 6:10:17 PM

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GhostWriteroftheDamned1437 reads

" Hey Charly; StarKist doesn't want tuna with good taste; they want tuna that tastes good"

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SoftlySarah1468 reads

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GaGambler1361 reads

Or fish at all for that matter. lol

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SoftlySarah1298 reads

He likes a girl who can talk fishin'. And hunting. Maybe hunting's more your style? Kinda goes with gambling, I would imagine.

Posted By: GaGambler
Or fish at all for that matter. lol

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anonymousfun1237 reads

There is a huge difference between sophistication, snobbishness and being classy. Sophistication can be bought but class cannot be bought.

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octovert1455 reads

more able to role-play, then I'm for it. Those who have it might not see it in themselves, and those who call themeselves that might not really be sophisticated

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