I normally don't use aliases but in this case for obvious reasons. . .

I've been seeing my ATF regularly and frequently. Lately she needed help on her web site, so I've been stopping by her incall to help with that and other things, and also to chat. She has stopped by my house to chat as well. She loves my cooking so I bring her food everytime but we've never gone out for a date. The mixing of a business relationship and friendship kind of makes life complicated.

For example, twice last week I thought it was going to be a session but it turned out she was not expecting it; she told me I had to specifically say it was an "appointment"; I can't just say I wanted to see her. She was being nice and said she could do it but in both cases we decided to reschedule for the next day. A waste of perfectly good Viagra.

In one "appointment" I jokingly said that "now that this is an appointment, I can kiss you" to see how she reacted. She told me that I could do it at other times as well. But then at other times it was a peck on the lips -- she always initiates it. Now, there was a lot of touching but I don't want to take advantage of her. How far should I go?

Life is so some complicated sometimes.


-- Modified on 2/26/2006 5:04:32 PM

Why don't  you make some  kind of arragement with her?
Still give her the  amount of the 2  weekly sessions with the mutual agreement of "being together" a minimun of twice a week... and leave the rest to desire of your bodies... Not expecting it  everytime of course and letting her to start and  decide the extra times... There must be certain level of attraction from her side too.
Ah! and make sure you both talk things clearly and in advance, specially about expectations, so there is no hurt feelings.

Just my humble opinion !  Hopefully useful...

Take care

Laura

an honest and open discussion....   You may be surprised at the results....   in any event the worst case scenario is a "Friend"  best... well one can hope...

but even before that, you have to determined exactly what it is that you do want.

Then of course she has to do the same, and then, and only then can you have the start of a non-business relationship, traditionally called a romance.

Good luck with it and keep us posted.

I have a particularly keen interest in knowing how these things work out.

When you see a provider you are there for a NSA (no string attached).  When things get personal it is time to bail. She will just play on your emotions and use you. She will say things to get you to feel sorry for her when in reality she is just trying to milk your bone and your wallet.

I think guys naturally want these things to advance into a relationship but are afraid to ask because they fear being turned down.  You can ask her out for a date somewhere, but if she never wants to go out on a date then she probably is just milking you or just wants friendship.
...but be careful what you wish, you just might get it, and do you really want a girlfriend who is banging other guys?

I agree about wanting to avoid rejection.  On another post someone said his fantasy was that someone wanted to sleep with him, not his $300.  I think that is the illusion I somehow hope to buy.

There is a lady I have enjoyed seeing a couple of times and we find we communicate via email a lot about all kinds of stuff.  At one point she mentioned coming up for a weekend for a vacation.  I realized I had no idea what that meant.  Was this a suggestion for a business arrangement which meant it wasn't really a vacation? a true vacation for her? Then I needed to know the parameters of that.  Turns out I had described some of the things I cook and she wanted to come up for a couple of days, sleep in her own bedroom, eat good food and relax.  I am old enough I can handle that and would probably enjoy it.  But we had to talk quite a while to get clear on what all of it met.  So no, she didn't want my money, but no she wasn't looking for a free 48 hours of playtime.  But what she was wanting was within the normal stuff I might offer a friend from out of town.
 To me, you ladies are all so beautiful.  Nature has wired guys to want to hang out with beautiful people, spread the seed and take a nap.  But I notice that when I am simply in the company of someone I feel attracted to I have a general sense of well being as well.  What would not work would be if she brought her ATF.  Unless of course they wanted me score the event (lol).
B

Having a GF includes 2 things friendship and sex. If I already have sex, all I need is friendship. I know that romance is more then the sum of the two but I'm willing to live without the exclusivity. We are both very busy persons. She has other jobs and school; I have several things going.

Since I don't mind continuing the relationship as a friend, I don't plan to ask her to be my girlfriend. She is the independent type who doesn't want to get tied down; it would be difficult for her to answer my question.

Another reason is that although separated for 4 years I'm still not divorced (there are reasons) and my younger son is in his first year of high school. I want to wait a couple of years before I get into a serious romance.

". . .Do you really want a girlfriend who is banging other guys?". I'm not the jealous type, in fact she is UTR now and I'm helping her setup her indy business. As long as she is "banging other guys", I'm willing to wait; she's not going to do this forever becuase she has ambitious plans for the future. (I'm not sure she wants to wait as flocks of women are chasing this 50 year-old hunk ).


-- Modified on 2/27/2006 11:44:24 AM

They helped me sort out my thoughts and feelings. (See my reply to historian05)

I'm not looking for the "traditional" romance. I'm happy in being a friend. Perhaps I'm being too cautious. I started this thread because I was unclear on the etiquette of being in such a situation.

It might well develop into a romance. I'll keep you posted.

sounds like a good friendship there!  I guess you do want to wait until she has moved on to other things.  In my 40s now, i am more concerned about someone being there when the chips are down, because I wouldn't want to be alone if I get sick or something similar happens. Will she be that type of person; she may just want friendship, your help or your money right now? Sounds like you already have the plan, wait and see what comes around in the meantime.  In my opinion, friendship sounds good for the moment, although make sure you don't accidently promise her anything and I wouldn't accept freebies. Just my humble opinion.