being a hooker, escort, companion, whatever you want to label...'defines' who we are as women.  

How you conduct your self and interact with others is what defines who you are, not what you do to earn money.

So what do you see when you look in the mirror or reflect upon your own life as a woman? That is the question that you are really seeking answers to.

How do you define yourself? Lonely, rejected, empowered, proud?

psychoanalyze me like many others do on here....that's not what this is about my dear sir. But good luck with that one. Many of you think you have Ms. Steele pegged as the 'type' of woman she is, but trust me, you don't and couldn't be more wrong in your 'assumptions'.  

I think sex is sex...for money or not.  What's the big deal?  Just be safe about it and be responsible.  It's like drinking....don't get into a car, don't drive drunk......

Have to look at it on a case by case basis. Some ladies do this because they don't have the intellect to do anything else. Most providers at least the ones I've met certainly have the education and intellegiance be successful at a "real" career. Then of course you've got the victims of trafficking or addictions that are forced into this so yeah I would say those women are defined by their actions. As for the intelligent educated providers out there I would say no it doesn't define them. I've had the pleasure of spending time with ladies a hell of a lot smarter than myself. Pretty good gig for a lady if she's in control of who she sees and when. Killer earnings potential and can make some good buisness connections should she ever decide to make an exit. On the flip side does the fact that us guys pay for play define us? I don't think so, so it shouldn't define the ladies either.

The gals that I have seen for years are just women working at a job when they are fucking for bucks.  I tend to see them as nothing different than a gal working as a cashier, bank teller, office worker or CEO of a company.

but I will say this. I steer clear of those providers who I see as damaged goods as a result failed marriages and/or failed civie relationships who use their bodies to bring themselves back to a false sense of security to their womanhood.  

To give you a more direct answer, I appreciate providers who are into the profession for the money and maybe even some enjoyment and not out of desperation, soul seeking or guilt.  Nothing pleases me more in this context then to walk out of a session completely satisfied and having the provider kiss me goodbye and count her money with a smile on her face as opposed to a frown or scowl.

How I view women outside of the hobby is irrelevant to your post.

i mean, what hobbyist's career defines him as a person?  "deep down in my soul, i'm an accountant."  or lawyer, or marketing exec, etc.

Some people derive a huge portion of their self identity through their job. Some don't. My job is not a big part of who I am. Obviously, I do not have any experience being a provider, so I can't really relate, but I would assume that it's the same for providers as it is for any other profession. Some people walk away from it when they're done for the day and don't think about it anymore. Some think about their job has a big part of their life through the entire day. That's my guess, anyway.

what defines me as a woman is my every day relationships, with my children, boyfriend, family.

Everyone has a reason they are involved in this line of work. I know why my 2 regs do it according to them but I'm sure it's different from the reason any number of other ladies are involved. There's a million reasons you could have chosen this as a job or supplemental income maker. I feel as long as you can handle the mental side of it and the physical risks then more power to you. Hell all of us men involved have to ask kinda the same questions from the other side of the fence. I do however respect the hell out of a top notch provider for everything she shares of herself with me. Takes a special person to provide 10+ services and when I find a gal who is that she's worth every $$$$.

ha I knowg uys who say I'd love to know you in real life and I'm like really well you will be in for a shock, I don't have sex 24 hours neither do I bother looking anything other than crap when I'm not around so really you wouldn't xxx

'who' they are...

I would say women in the industry know what they are doing and I'm a puppet. "Last laugh" kinda thing in the realm of money. I cant help but wonder how calloused to "falling in love" with someone that can make a provider

"when they do it"

It's important to always have one's mind focused on what one does, after all.

As far as this defining thing, I dunno.  It must vary from person to person.

Speaking for myself however, I think being a hobbyist defines me to a significant degree considering how often I hobby (At least once per week.), and how many providers I've gotten to know so well.

Perhaps the typical hobbyist's life is defined more from the hobby than the provider's is.

IMO in depends on the personality type of the woman doing this, and her reasons for doing so. Many people in various professions are defined by their jobs, but many are not. This is one of the main reasons I set such boundaries for my dates outside of the sexual element. I don't want anyone jumping to conclusions, so I make it crystal clear, this is nothing but a "part time" job for me. When London Rayne falls off the map, that's all she was...London Rayne, not who I really am nor what I desire for my future.  

I' rarely join the discussions here but this subject compels me to offer this reply.

If you won the lottery, would you continue hooking?  If the answer is "Yes" then  the work probably does define you. Just like it would for any other line of work.

That being that the way men are viewed is that being a "john" doesn't define who we are as men. I think providers are stigmatized more than clients. It's a sexist view that is held, I believe, even more often by women outside of this lifestyle than men outside the lifestyle.

I don't hook...per se

Many winners promptly quit their boring jobs and take advantage of the cash windfall.  

Very true. The same woman who goes out every weekend, gets drunk, and takes home some dude from the bar she does not even know and fks his brains out WITHOUT A CONDOM, will say that being an escort is "disgusting." Priceless. Why is this disgusting, when we are smart enough to get PAID for being used, when you're just doing it for attention? Who is more empty inside lol.

to use a label to talk about people, whether the label is 'doctor' or 'escort' or 'sex worker'.  It's less tricky to add a qualifying term to the label, like 'good' or 'top-notch' (and their opposites).  

I would interject that there are some women who give me a reptilian vibe, and I find myself avoiding even reading their
posts let alone considering seeing them.
I am a pragmatist, but if there is no attempt at projecting competent customer service, so to speak, then I have no interest
in contributing to her earnings or life.
With that being said, there is a certain camaraderie that I have enjoyed with the four providers I've seen that combines the intimacy of sex with the bawdiness of a drinking buddy, and that's really fun.

If you allow your profession to own you, then it does.  And that goes for everyone, regardless of the profession!  It matters not, what anyone else or society, in general, thinks.  Most people think what they are told anyway.  They believe blindly without capability of reason, because that is what "society" wants.  Herds are easier to manage than individuals.  

I believe I would continue. I love what I do! What can I say? And I have always said it is a part of me, and that anyone who gets involved in my life will know about it at some level and must accept it and love me just the same or they are welcome to find other friends. I do have an income that allows me to pay my basics. This job adds enough for some luxuries and travels I wouldn't otherwise be able to pay for, but it isn't absolutely necessary. It is necessary for a part of my personality, however.  

Girls, we run this mother

Own who you are, what you are........period. Psychoanalyze that LOL

-- Modified on 4/30/2013 1:23:29 PM

My answer is "no, I would not continue working as a provider," but I would probably not WORK at all. I am not looking for assurance, security, or anything like that from this business. I do not delude myself into thinking there is some honor in fkin a woman's husband who does not know about it, nor do I need some married man to make me feel good about myself because I can't get compliments in the real world, so for me...yea, it's just a job, one I am good at, but one where the lines are clearly drawn, and no one gets confused.  

I don't like psychobabble either, it actually bores me to tears when people use hundreds or even thousands of words to explain something that should be obvious to any one with an IQ above room temperature.

but WTF, I will play along for a moment. I look at hookers the same way that I look at anyone else. If my relationship with them is only on a professional basis, then I only look at them as a hooker. Same as a teacher is only a teacher or a bank teller is only a bank teller. Now if actually get to know them whether during sessions or outside of work then I get to know them as more than a warm pussy or soft set of lips.

I really don't see why hookers are supposed to be so much different than anyone else, they are people no better or worse than anyone else. What I do find amusing are the people (men) that put them on a pedestal as being better than other people, or others that look down on them for what they do. Neither is true, and I don't see what the big mystery is.

In respect to chosen profession and “job skills” it speaks highly of your ability to think outside the box, organization / time management skills, thinking on your feet(no pun intended), and self motivation and sufficiency.  

Love that....'mosaic'....and so true as a woman. So so very true. Very nice RR.

And nope...I don't count getting some horny johns off as giving back  

there is a different between them and providers.   They going to the bar and they have a choice to pick whoever they want to fuck.  On the other hand,  The provider don't have this option.  Once the provider open that door and let John get in...

In my opinion this Gentleman was spot on.  
One mentioned about the paying for sex. I have always paid directly or indirectly.

Wake up honey, we do have the choice and that choice is usually not blinded by alcohol. I have fked the most disgusting guys for free in my younger years because of alcohol. I would never do that for money. Why do you think we require references? Here's a hint...it's not just to find out if you're LE or a psycho. If you keep hearing "I am booked" from the same provider, it's probably because some reference told her a few things. Just saying.

There are bigger than life mascots of the most iconic Disney characters roaming the park to delight the visitors, spark their imagination and bring their childhood fantasies to life. They do a masterful job of creating cherished and lasting memories for the entire family.  But at the end of the shift, the actors portraying the mascots put the big fiberglass heads on a shelf, punch out and get on with their real and ordinary lives.

Brilliant!

I do that now too. I did that when I had my 2-3yr hiatus from escorting as well. As a matter of fact, I have been involved with nonprofits and volunteering for most of my adult life. Even started two of them up, and helped to start a 3rd.

Posted By: ChgoCPA

And nope...I don't count getting some horny johns off as giving back    
   
 Many people who have "retired" from their everyday work go into more of a philanthropic mode.  Donating time to causes seems to be on the top of many peoples lists.  And most find that the greatest joy they have ever had.  
   
 Or you could certainly continue to hook, or work in whatever field you're actually in.  But with the options that paying the bills is no longer a concern...would you really?    
   

Posted By: SoftlySarah

I believe I would continue. I love what I do! What can I say? And I have always said it is a part of me, and that anyone who gets involved in my life will know about it at some level and must accept it and love me just the same or they are welcome to find other friends. I do have an income that allows me to pay my basics. This job adds enough for some luxuries and travels I wouldn't otherwise be able to pay for, but it isn't absolutely necessary. It is necessary for a part of my personality, however.    
     
  Does it define me? It definitely defines a part of me. There is so much more to me- way more than most clients will ever possibly know, and I love and am very proud of every tiny second of my life. I am truly one of the happiest people I know, and am aware that I am blessed because of that.

True story..
I went to a friends wedding at Disney.
We took the park over...
Played monkey in the middle with Donald Ducks gloves..
Donald was pissed.. He actually broke character, and started a fight with us.
It was awesome!!! Cinderella, and the Little Mermaid stepped in..
They squashed the fight.

I guess that makes you one bad-ass duck unglover.

You think that's bad? I have the only child in history to beat the fk out of the mouse at Chuckie Cheese, and get BANNED lol. Like mother like daughter bwahahhaa. Then, she tells the manager, "My mom said it was ok" lol. I have that shit on video. She kicked him in the ass, punched him in the face, and then grabbed on to his mouth and hung from his jaw like monkey bars.

we could put those skills on a resume! Lol!! This work is so perfect as a foundation for so many professions. I know many clients who would hire people like us in a heartbeat.

By the way they treat me, the way they treat others, they way they treat their parents, treat their children, and treat siblings.

It seems like a lot of effort and introspection for a basically pointless result.  You don't care what we think (at least you shouldn't) and a person's self definition shouldn't hinge on a profession, so the whole thing is moot.