Everyone has a reason they are involved in this line of work. I know why my 2 regs do it according to them but I'm sure it's different from the reason any number of other ladies are involved. There's a million reasons you could have chosen this as a job or supplemental income maker. I feel as long as you can handle the mental side of it and the physical risks then more power to you. Hell all of us men involved have to ask kinda the same questions from the other side of the fence. I do however respect the hell out of a top notch provider for everything she shares of herself with me. Takes a special person to provide 10+ services and when I find a gal who is that she's worth every $$$$.
being a hooker, escort, companion, whatever you want to label...'defines' who we are as women.
This should be good.
-- Modified on 4/30/2013 7:46:45 AM
How you conduct your self and interact with others is what defines who you are, not what you do to earn money.
So what do you see when you look in the mirror or reflect upon your own life as a woman? That is the question that you are really seeking answers to.
How do you define yourself? Lonely, rejected, empowered, proud?
psychoanalyze me like many others do on here....that's not what this is about my dear sir. But good luck with that one. Many of you think you have Ms. Steele pegged as the 'type' of woman she is, but trust me, you don't and couldn't be more wrong in your 'assumptions'.
Now back to the question at hand... the question I was asking, is how YOU gentlemen view women in this industry...I mean really, how do you? Are we just low lives, nasty, disgusting, pathetic, dirty women without a clue who just love to fuck or are we smart empowered women who know wtf we're doing and you're just our puppets....
What are you thoughts imparticular Mr. Panthera? I am curious, especially how you view women. If I was to peg you, I'd think you do indeed respect women in general for the most part if and only if they 'live up' to your means...however, I think in the interim, you look at the women in this industry as one thing and one thing only.
Correct me if I am wrong...please. I would enjoy that tremendously.
but I will say this. I steer clear of those providers who I see as damaged goods as a result failed marriages and/or failed civie relationships who use their bodies to bring themselves back to a false sense of security to their womanhood.
To give you a more direct answer, I appreciate providers who are into the profession for the money and maybe even some enjoyment and not out of desperation, soul seeking or guilt. Nothing pleases me more in this context then to walk out of a session completely satisfied and having the provider kiss me goodbye and count her money with a smile on her face as opposed to a frown or scowl.
How I view women outside of the hobby is irrelevant to your post.
I would say women in the industry know what they are doing and I'm a puppet. "Last laugh" kinda thing in the realm of money. I cant help but wonder how calloused to "falling in love" with someone that can make a provider
I don't like psychobabble either, it actually bores me to tears when people use hundreds or even thousands of words to explain something that should be obvious to any one with an IQ above room temperature.
but WTF, I will play along for a moment. I look at hookers the same way that I look at anyone else. If my relationship with them is only on a professional basis, then I only look at them as a hooker. Same as a teacher is only a teacher or a bank teller is only a bank teller. Now if actually get to know them whether during sessions or outside of work then I get to know them as more than a warm pussy or soft set of lips.
I really don't see why hookers are supposed to be so much different than anyone else, they are people no better or worse than anyone else. What I do find amusing are the people (men) that put them on a pedestal as being better than other people, or others that look down on them for what they do. Neither is true, and I don't see what the big mystery is.
I think sex is sex...for money or not. What's the big deal? Just be safe about it and be responsible. It's like drinking....don't get into a car, don't drive drunk......
Have to look at it on a case by case basis. Some ladies do this because they don't have the intellect to do anything else. Most providers at least the ones I've met certainly have the education and intellegiance be successful at a "real" career. Then of course you've got the victims of trafficking or addictions that are forced into this so yeah I would say those women are defined by their actions. As for the intelligent educated providers out there I would say no it doesn't define them. I've had the pleasure of spending time with ladies a hell of a lot smarter than myself. Pretty good gig for a lady if she's in control of who she sees and when. Killer earnings potential and can make some good buisness connections should she ever decide to make an exit. On the flip side does the fact that us guys pay for play define us? I don't think so, so it shouldn't define the ladies either.
The gals that I have seen for years are just women working at a job when they are fucking for bucks. I tend to see them as nothing different than a gal working as a cashier, bank teller, office worker or CEO of a company.
Some are VERY good at this job, others hate this job. Not too different than the gals working in a civvie job.
Some have allowed me to meet their families and friends. Some I now only see outside of hookerland.
I will agree with Panthera in that some gals look in that mirror and honestly are disgusted at this world. Yet are trapped with few options. But that isn't so different than anyone working at a dead end job either.
Once any johnnie boy gets beyond the "hooker" who is made up to fuck some guy...he will find just a woman who is seeking to improve her lot in life. But many don't see beyond that, and hence think that she is always like this.
From my experiences here...that couldn't be further from the truth. I honestly believe that most gals would bolt from hooking in a nanosecond if they had the resources to do so. But the same can be said for most of us working day to day.
So as far as labels...none from this corner. And hopefully any gal who is seeing herself as nothing more than a couple of holes, those I feel bad about. But it certainly isn't only observed in hookerland.
This should be good.
-- Modified on 4/30/2013 7:46:45 AM
If you won the lottery, would you continue hooking? If the answer is "Yes" then the work probably does define you. Just like it would for any other line of work.
Many winners promptly quit their boring jobs and take advantage of the cash windfall.
Assuming they haven't pissed it all away (like on hookers LOL) most folks tend to find other activities to do rather than a day to day boring job that certainly (IMHO) didn't define them.
I suspect that an outlier would continue to work doing what they did before the jackpot. While I would like to believe the majority would do something worthwhile that they really enjoy.
FWIW I haven't met a gal yet who would continue hooking...and they wouldn't need much to move on from this life.
I believe I would continue. I love what I do! What can I say? And I have always said it is a part of me, and that anyone who gets involved in my life will know about it at some level and must accept it and love me just the same or they are welcome to find other friends. I do have an income that allows me to pay my basics. This job adds enough for some luxuries and travels I wouldn't otherwise be able to pay for, but it isn't absolutely necessary. It is necessary for a part of my personality, however.
Does it define me? It definitely defines a part of me. There is so much more to me- way more than most clients will ever possibly know, and I love and am very proud of every tiny second of my life. I am truly one of the happiest people I know, and am aware that I am blessed because of that.
And nope...I don't count getting some horny johns off as giving back 
Many people who have "retired" from their everyday work go into more of a philanthropic mode. Donating time to causes seems to be on the top of many peoples lists. And most find that the greatest joy they have ever had.
Or you could certainly continue to hook, or work in whatever field you're actually in. But with the options that paying the bills is no longer a concern...would you really?
Does it define me? It definitely defines a part of me. There is so much more to me- way more than most clients will ever possibly know, and I love and am very proud of every tiny second of my life. I am truly one of the happiest people I know, and am aware that I am blessed because of that.
I do that now too. I did that when I had my 2-3yr hiatus from escorting as well. As a matter of fact, I have been involved with nonprofits and volunteering for most of my adult life. Even started two of them up, and helped to start a 3rd.
Yes, I would continue to be Sarah or do something similar on some level because I discovered with my hiatus that it really is inside of me. If money were no concern at all (which I can't really say is the case right now), I would probably price myself very high and only see a few men a year. But I would still do it. I truly love it. I know I am probably unusual in that respect, but it is what it is. 
Many people who have "retired" from their everyday work go into more of a philanthropic mode. Donating time to causes seems to be on the top of many peoples lists. And most find that the greatest joy they have ever had.
Or you could certainly continue to hook, or work in whatever field you're actually in. But with the options that paying the bills is no longer a concern...would you really?
Does it define me? It definitely defines a part of me. There is so much more to me- way more than most clients will ever possibly know, and I love and am very proud of every tiny second of my life. I am truly one of the happiest people I know, and am aware that I am blessed because of that.
My answer is "no, I would not continue working as a provider," but I would probably not WORK at all. I am not looking for assurance, security, or anything like that from this business. I do not delude myself into thinking there is some honor in fkin a woman's husband who does not know about it, nor do I need some married man to make me feel good about myself because I can't get compliments in the real world, so for me...yea, it's just a job, one I am good at, but one where the lines are clearly drawn, and no one gets confused.
I think for a few women, it makes them feel good to know a guy is with her vs. his wife, as if she is somehow better, more attractive, etc. I beg to differ. We are not 'better' but available, and new. If you get some kind of security or faux sense of ego from doing this, your head is not on too straight. One should never be so broken and insecure, that the only way they can feel like they are worth anything is to fk other people's husbands. That should come from INSIDE of you, not from what some guy who is PAYING you, has to say.
I am grateful for the friends I have made, but don't kid myself into thinking they are going to be at my damn funeral. Some people cannot feel good about themselves unless they are constantly being built up with faux compliments that don't mean a damn thing, when it's all said and done. I am with Panthera on this one. I am more addicted to TER than to the hobby. I will have no problems walking away from providing, but posting is going to be a struggle lol
i mean, what hobbyist's career defines him as a person? "deep down in my soul, i'm an accountant." or lawyer, or marketing exec, etc.
i think most people -- not just men -- are able to separate a person's vocation from the core of their spirit. yes, companion is part of who i am. but it does not define me, any more than any other label that applies to me defines me. we are all multi-faceted.
my suitors demonstrate this understanding when they ask me about my family, about my home life, about my interests, when they engage me in discussion or debate on any topic outside of sex... even when they tell me that part of their reason for seeing me was what i shared about me on my website. (and i state very clearly that i am a WHOLE person, not defined by any one aspect of myself, and i also want to meet WHOLE people not defined by any single aspect of themselves.)
personally, i feel anyone who could possibly hold the view that companions' spirits are defined by the nature of their work probably is somewhat emotionally stunted. no offense to anyone who holds that view. everyone has room for emotional growth.
Some people derive a huge portion of their self identity through their job. Some don't. My job is not a big part of who I am. Obviously, I do not have any experience being a provider, so I can't really relate, but I would assume that it's the same for providers as it is for any other profession. Some people walk away from it when they're done for the day and don't think about it anymore. Some think about their job has a big part of their life through the entire day. That's my guess, anyway.
In other words, I am basically validating what butterflydust said.
what defines me as a woman is my every day relationships, with my children, boyfriend, family.
My drive, my strength, my convictions. I am not defined by style, or culture. Waking up with a grocery list of things to be done, and I some how can make everything fall into place. I stand by my convictions and beliefs, I do not back down and I never allow myself to settle for less than I deserve.
I am honest to a fault, I am dependable, Fiercely loyal to my friends and family. I will give the last drop of food in my house or the last dollar in my account to a loved one in need. I do not let life keep me down, I get up over and over again and I continue to fight for what I want.
I am understanding, and patient, I am the first one to give you a hug if you need it. I am gentle and loving, but also the first one to not let anyone hurt me or anyone close to me. I am bold, and sassy. I speak my mind. But I am polite, and gracious.
I give respect, and I demand it in return.
I can cook, bake, and clean then be the porn star you dream of in the bedroom.
I keep my word and promises, I make sure I am raising my children to be great adults!
I love openly and freely, I am not envious of others but instead would rather ask their advice to get to that same place.
I realized I am not perfect, but I can strive to improve myself everyday!
THIS is what defines me...
not the fact that I happen to be a escort!
Everyone has a reason they are involved in this line of work. I know why my 2 regs do it according to them but I'm sure it's different from the reason any number of other ladies are involved. There's a million reasons you could have chosen this as a job or supplemental income maker. I feel as long as you can handle the mental side of it and the physical risks then more power to you. Hell all of us men involved have to ask kinda the same questions from the other side of the fence. I do however respect the hell out of a top notch provider for everything she shares of herself with me. Takes a special person to provide 10+ services and when I find a gal who is that she's worth every $$$$.
ha I knowg uys who say I'd love to know you in real life and I'm like really well you will be in for a shock, I don't have sex 24 hours neither do I bother looking anything other than crap when I'm not around so really you wouldn't xxx
This should be good.
-- Modified on 4/30/2013 7:46:45 AM
'who' they are...
'what' they do...
'how' they do it.
While I'd love to stay and chat with you fine folks, the sun just came out and the water is a callin...first day of yakkin for the 'real' Ms. Steele haha
Later people. Chat again soon. Have a great day
"when they do it"
It's important to always have one's mind focused on what one does, after all.
As far as this defining thing, I dunno. It must vary from person to person.
Speaking for myself however, I think being a hobbyist defines me to a significant degree considering how often I hobby (At least once per week.), and how many providers I've gotten to know so well.
Perhaps the typical hobbyist's life is defined more from the hobby than the provider's is.
Girls, we run this mother
Who run the world? Girls
Some of them men think they freak this like we do
But no they don't
Make your cheque come at they neck
Disrespect us no they won't
Boy don't even try to touch this
Boy this beat is crazy
This is how they made me
Houston, Texas baby
This goes out to all my girls that's in the club rocking the latest
Who will buy it for themselves and get more money later
I think I need a barber
None of these n***** can fade me
I'm so good with this
I remind you I'm so hood with this
Boy I'm just playing
Come here baby
Hope you still like me
F' you pay me
My persuasion can build a nation
Endless power, the love we can devour
You'll do anything for me
It's hot up in here DJ don't be scared to run this run this back
I'm repping for the girls who taking over the world help me raise a glass for the college grads
41 rolling
to let you know what time it is, check
You can't hold me
I work my 9 to 5, better cut my check
This goes out to all the women getting it in you're on your grind
To other men that respect what I do please accept my shine
Boy you know you love it how we're smart enough to make these millions
Strong enough to bear the children then get back to business
see, you better not play me oh come here baby
Hope you still like me, F' you pay me
My persuasion can build a nation
Endless power, the love we can devour
You'll do anything for me
Who run the world? Girls
-- Modified on 4/30/2013 1:02:16 PM
Own who you are, what you are........period. Psychoanalyze that LOL
-- Modified on 4/30/2013 1:23:29 PM
IMO in depends on the personality type of the woman doing this, and her reasons for doing so. Many people in various professions are defined by their jobs, but many are not. This is one of the main reasons I set such boundaries for my dates outside of the sexual element. I don't want anyone jumping to conclusions, so I make it crystal clear, this is nothing but a "part time" job for me. When London Rayne falls off the map, that's all she was...London Rayne, not who I really am nor what I desire for my future.
Many people have said they walked away from this life and just had to come back, and I don't mean for money, but for all the other things this life brought them that they are not getting outside. I am not one of those people. The very same things I get here other than the financial aspect, I can get from ANY career, and it will have a 401K with Health Insurance, as well as prestige, unlike this business which is actually shunned by most. I don't want to spend the rest of my life hiding, and I can't imagine too many others do either.
I have always said this business is not forever, and it's not unless you are seriously good with investments, and you can retire before you are too old to make even 200 an hour. The older and uglier you get, the less money you will be able to command to a certain extent, and I have no desire to be here while that happens.
I truly believe we are defined by what's in our hearts and souls, and I can assure you my body is the only thing I put into this business, with a bit of my mind, and a shit load of humor. My soul is not, and never will be a part of being an escort. It's not for sale.
-- Modified on 4/30/2013 10:26:54 AM
I would interject that there are some women who give me a reptilian vibe, and I find myself avoiding even reading their
posts let alone considering seeing them.
I am a pragmatist, but if there is no attempt at projecting competent customer service, so to speak, then I have no interest
in contributing to her earnings or life.
With that being said, there is a certain camaraderie that I have enjoyed with the four providers I've seen that combines the intimacy of sex with the bawdiness of a drinking buddy, and that's really fun.
I' rarely join the discussions here but this subject compels me to offer this reply.
Frankly, I admire the women here who dare to walk this path while conducting themselves honestly, reputably and with dignity. I greatly admire the strength it takes these wonderful women to be their own person and do something that works for them while they do no harm to anyone else, all the while keeping their secret to avoid the wrath of a hypocritical and judgmental society.
In my opinion this Gentleman was spot on.
One mentioned about the paying for sex. I have always paid directly or indirectly.
That being that the way men are viewed is that being a "john" doesn't define who we are as men. I think providers are stigmatized more than clients. It's a sexist view that is held, I believe, even more often by women outside of this lifestyle than men outside the lifestyle.
Very true. The same woman who goes out every weekend, gets drunk, and takes home some dude from the bar she does not even know and fks his brains out WITHOUT A CONDOM, will say that being an escort is "disgusting." Priceless. Why is this disgusting, when we are smart enough to get PAID for being used, when you're just doing it for attention? Who is more empty inside lol.
there is a different between them and providers. They going to the bar and they have a choice to pick whoever they want to fuck. On the other hand, The provider don't have this option. Once the provider open that door and let John get in...
He might be ugly, fat, dirty, smell bad....etc
Wake up honey, we do have the choice and that choice is usually not blinded by alcohol. I have fked the most disgusting guys for free in my younger years because of alcohol. I would never do that for money. Why do you think we require references? Here's a hint...it's not just to find out if you're LE or a psycho. If you keep hearing "I am booked" from the same provider, it's probably because some reference told her a few things. Just saying.
to use a label to talk about people, whether the label is 'doctor' or 'escort' or 'sex worker'. It's less tricky to add a qualifying term to the label, like 'good' or 'top-notch' (and their opposites).
It seems obvious that the more control one has about choosing a profession, the more one's choice of a profession defines who one is -- and, for better or worse, the longer one stays in a particular profession, the more that profession defines who one is, as well.
It is also obvious, I think, that no person is completely defined by his/her profession. Nothing too deep or mysterious about any of this, I think. The upshot, though, seems to be that sex work is no different from other work in its ability to define, or not define, who one is as a person.
So perhaps the question is, to whatever extent one's being a sex worker defines who one is as a person (woman). what do clients think that definition is and what do we clients think of the women so defined -- is the definition one that we think a woman should be ashamed of, proud of, criticized for, put down for, applauded for, etc.?
Ever since I concluded that in this life it typically falls to men to "pay" for sex (if not upfront then somewhere on the back end), I have had trouble finding any clear lines between girlfriend/SO, wife, mistress, hooker, sex worker, etc.
As such, I always appreciated the honesty and the obviousness of the sex worker/client interaction. As such, I rather like what being a sex worker says about a woman -- I applaud and respect them very much for their chosen profession. They are, to put it simply, my kind of women.
As another poster said, it takes a certain kind of woman to do sex work. I would add that it takes a certain kind of woman to be good at sex work. And the women who are good at sex work are the ones that I love most in this world.
Finally, turning the bed around, it would be nice to hear from the ladies about what they think about how being a sex worker defines them and whether they like that definition or not
I think many men (and women) here have come with baggage of some sort, and I believe this community (and others like it) serve to ameliorate some of these issues. Guilt- imparted by the ubiquitous whore stigma (which affects both men and women in this arena)- plays out in different ways with different people who are unaware of the extent and strength of its grasp. For some, the stigma is internalized and becomes self loathing. For others it is turned outwards and becomes contempt. Either way it has the same [self] destructive effect.
If you allow your profession to own you, then it does. And that goes for everyone, regardless of the profession! It matters not, what anyone else or society, in general, thinks. Most people think what they are told anyway. They believe blindly without capability of reason, because that is what "society" wants. Herds are easier to manage than individuals.
So, no, to me it does not. I have never liked labels, or generalities. One's individual actions define who they are, more than their job or title, but many people allow their job or title to affect their actions.
In respect to chosen profession and “job skills” it speaks highly of your ability to think outside the box, organization / time management skills, thinking on your feet(no pun intended), and self motivation and sufficiency.
The many other pieces of your "mosaic" will help determine your success as a ...............
Love that....'mosaic'....and so true as a woman. So so very true. Very nice RR.
we could put those skills on a resume! Lol!! This work is so perfect as a foundation for so many professions. I know many clients who would hire people like us in a heartbeat.
There are bigger than life mascots of the most iconic Disney characters roaming the park to delight the visitors, spark their imagination and bring their childhood fantasies to life. They do a masterful job of creating cherished and lasting memories for the entire family. But at the end of the shift, the actors portraying the mascots put the big fiberglass heads on a shelf, punch out and get on with their real and ordinary lives.
Not unlike this business
Brilliant!
True story..
I went to a friends wedding at Disney.
We took the park over...
Played monkey in the middle with Donald Ducks gloves..
Donald was pissed.. He actually broke character, and started a fight with us.
It was awesome!!! Cinderella, and the Little Mermaid stepped in..
They squashed the fight.
I guess that makes you one bad-ass duck unglover.
You think that's bad? I have the only child in history to beat the fk out of the mouse at Chuckie Cheese, and get BANNED lol. Like mother like daughter bwahahhaa. Then, she tells the manager, "My mom said it was ok" lol. I have that shit on video. She kicked him in the ass, punched him in the face, and then grabbed on to his mouth and hung from his jaw like monkey bars.
By the way they treat me, the way they treat others, they way they treat their parents, treat their children, and treat siblings.
That is how I define other people, but by far it is how they treat me, and then treat others. How family is treated is so entangled in habits and thoughts created in childhood and intertwined with the childish nature of other family members, that it is difficult to piece the opacity of family dynamics.
Deprived or Depraved
It seems like a lot of effort and introspection for a basically pointless result. You don't care what we think (at least you shouldn't) and a person's self definition shouldn't hinge on a profession, so the whole thing is moot.
I wouldn't want to be defined by my past jobs. Some pretty nasty tags have been applied to those. Bouncer (professional asshole), Soldier (professional killer and amoral assassin), Bodyguard (professional legbreaker) and Network Admin (professional geek).
I've been called every name in parenthesis, and much worse. If I let someone else's opinion control my own self-image, it'd be tough to look in the mirror (which would be a shame - I'm handsome). So I define myself, and whoever disagrees can kiss my rebellious, southern, Black-Scottish-American (born and raised in Alloa until I was 12) arse. Some of that may or may not include how i define myself, If I actually thought about it