Do you compare your SO/wife's sexual performance versus a providers sexual performance ?

If you SO/wife's sexual performance was better than you average session would you cut back from the hobby and/or retire ?

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...there's this real cheap and fanatically religious bastard who lives a couple of miles north of my part of town. A few months ago I met HIS wife. She's real nervous and sweaty a lot of the time and seems to live in fear of her husband. I don't want to say he's abusive, but it's very, very hard to see him as anything but angry and gruff even in their most private moments.

Anyway, I hate to be around the guy, but socially we belong to mutual groups (yes, GROUPS, plural) so we've butted heads several times. Then, last summer, I met his wife and we wandered off and talked, agreed to meet at the coffeehouse, and eventually started an on-and-off.

Now, I really enjoy being intimate with her. She's got a great body, and she can be very sexy in a soft-spoken sultry kind of way. She feels old-fashioned Catholic guilt before and after, but in bed she's very uninhibited and in some ways we share the most passionate sexual expressions I've had lately.

So, although I have no wife or SO of my own, I kind of understand the tension between the P4P ladies and the infidelity rush of cheating on someone who sort of assumes you're her one and only.

So my answer is no, I wouldn't be happy giving up the hobby.

No matter how much you care for a woman, no matter how alluring you find her, no matter what sexual heights and depths you explore together, she is, in the end, a singularity. Her breasts are a certain size and firmness, her complexion is a certain shade, she is either svelt or voluptuous... Always the same.

Now, not to get too Freudian or Langian (surprisingly spellcheck accepts that word), interaction with your SO or, in my case, a borrowed SO, only reflects your image in one funhouse mirror. Her perspective (specifically of YOU) is finite. Other women see you differently. That's what's behind all this "My wife doesn't understand me" crap we're always subjected to around here. You share different things with different women. And each woman has something fresh and different to offer a man. To a point. A lot of women just don't want to share of themselves and go into hookering offering a mechanical suck 'n' fuck 'n' a kiss for luck for the buck.

But, assuming that the skill one developes in this hobby is how to discern from ads and emails thr beautiful bodies and interesting souls from the mediocre dry sexuality of halfhearted whores, then fidelity to any pair bond necessarily means cutting one's self off from the larger world of yet to be explored pleasures.

There are fantasy games, bondage experiments, control exchanges that vary with each partner.

If you were on a desert island and could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, which would it be? Dumb party question. The joy of listening to music comes from each piece being different.

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Sure I'll cut back from 3 times a week to 1 every two weeks.  Lol

Something tells me mongers need more variety though. Polygamy is the way it should be.  Not sure why society no longer allows what Moses and most of the Kings did.  

Men need multiple girls and that's a fact.  


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My so asks me why I am so hard. I don't tell her the truth.  I am fantasizing about a provider I saw a few weeks ago.

Couldn't have said it better!

on higher evolution ladder, usually need/want/have large number of females so they have a better chance of passing on their genes. As to why it's no longer allowed today, I'll let the scientists to figure it out.

Yes and no.

Yes I compare in my head.  But comparing a museum of memories to each new painting is never fair.  Sometimes you are struck by a new piece of art that you really appreciate but yet your home "collection" still has it's gems.

As I've stated in other threads, I have yet to find a provider who gives better head than my SO.  However, the quantity is lacking, thus I hobby to get me through the lean times.  If quantity as well as quality were more forthcoming, then, yes, I'd probably cut back severely if not outright quit.  I'd still miss hobbying for the variety it provides.

"The Territorial Imperative" by Robert Ardrey.

is unique. Provider, SO or otherwise. Comparisons for me would interfere with the anticipation of spending time with a woman, the ability to be in the moment and enjoy it to its fullest, to savor a memory; all unsullied by irrelevant considerations.  

Just my .02

...my wife really doesn't understand me.  I know it sounds like a trite and convenient statement to make, but it's true in my case.

Sharing different things with different women:  Yeah, also true to a point.  But I'd say that some of my favorite friends know/understand me better than my wife--even if they don't know the unimportant stuff like how I take my coffee or similar.

W

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But others understand you in OTHER ways. EVERYBODY sees you differently.

Just like you and I could walk into the same coffeehouse on the same day at the same time, and I would perceive it in one way and you in another. YOUR understanding of the escort you see is only ONE understanding of her. The next guy, say DA, will understand the experience in another way.

That's just part of the deal with existence. The sense-data comes in, your mind makes order out of it, and YOU (whatever the fuck YOU are as distinguished from "your mind") understand it based on what you've experienced, what you want, what you believe and assume, etc.

Your FEELING that your wife doesn't understand you is only what you FEEL because you WANT her to understand you. With the chick who sucks you off every Wednesday night, you really don't give a shit whether she "understands" you very well. But she DOES understand you, in her own way, just like you understand HER in YOUR own way.

So don't sweat it so much. It's all cool.

wife would have sex...  even mediocre sex...  on any sort of a regular basis.  The fact is she's in denial.  She thinks the once a year sex we had in the first 12 years after we were married was regular sex...  on an annual trip away from home.  I've concluded she doesn't like sex but refuses to admit her avoidance, changing subject, denial.  I began hobbying after it stopped entirely.  A marriage in name only.

The flipside of that coin is when she's fucking another guy,  is she comparing his sexual prowess to yours?

truth, Bro.

There is no solace in comparisons, either way.

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No interest in sex means exactly that.