Not really a fell for her but more we became friends but I am now starting to have feelings for her. She was my first provider whom I saw 3 or 4 times a year for 3 years. Last year we started hanging out OTC i.e. lunch, taking walks, concerts, working out just doing things as friends. She is really a nice person to know and hang with. And yes we sometimes have sex for free sometimes not for those board bashers out there. We mostly just have a good time together enjoying our company. Just wanted the ladies input here mostly. Have you had clients that you became friends with then maybe more or just friends with but paid for benefits. She usually pays her way when we are out and has never asked for money. Also her actions towards me to me seem that she is interested. She goes out of her way to be with me, more than I would probably do. Am I wasting my time thinking of being more to her or should I just enjoy our time together as it is now.

I for one like to think of providers as humans who can still enjoy friendship and the company of another person with out seeing the green all the time.  Hopefully I'm not being delusional.  Since she pays her way, sounds like only friendship to me.

I agree with you completely up to the phrase, "only friendship."

Great private-eye series, if you're into that genre--but anyway, here's the thing:

As the novels unfold, Scudder is an ex-cop who becomes a freelance PI, and he goes through battles with the bottle, eventually hitting rock bottom, going off to the Twelve-Step thing, and rebuilding his life.  He sees an escort regularly, partially as an occasional resource in his investigations, partially because he has needs, y'know?  As time goes on, and they get more "involved", she mostly stops charging him.

After he gets on the wagon, he slowly realizes that he and the escort are not just "leaving things at each other's apartments", they're living together--and then he realizes that she's not seeing clients anymore, either.  Storybook happy ending, right?

I think the only way you could ever hope to have anything like this happen IRL is if you just "let it happen"; any attempt to have a direct "let's define our relationship" conversation is going to be a minefield that is guaranteed to blow up in your face.

If you can handle the situation as it is now without getting too hung up over it, you might be pleasantly surprised down the road--OTOH, you might find that you've wasted several years of your life waiting for something that will never happen.  Tough choices...good luck..let us know how things go...

I have guys I've become friends with who I like to have drinks and dinner with and some I have sex with so much they would have to take out a small loan if quid pro quo was all that mattered. Don't pressure her though, just enjoy those times. Pressure is bad.

I am right at the cusp of a transitioning relationship where a provider is moving from a strict P4P.. to what I would call a mistress.. She is very low volume.. has very good reviews (was once in the top 15 Nationally).. but her life has changed and she is now in a different place and out of the big city.. I respond when she lets me know that she needs some money for expenses.. I know she's there for me but that isn't the entire deal.. I can't afford to pay for everything and she still will see clents .. but we are special to each other.. I understand her.. & hope she sees enough customers to pay the bills.. but things are moving in a direction away from my original intention.. where it will go, I have no idea.. but it is fun..

certainly you have a friendship now.  I would be a little slow to ask her where this is going....  all the while, in my head, I would be wondering.  I would not be aggressive but might set the stage to allow romantic moments to happen.  There is risk involved for both of you.  Yes you could get hurt.  So could she.  
I do not know either of you, your ages, your histories.   Let me say there are lots of former providers out there.  Are you prepared to provide her support?  Would she keep providing?   Could you each let your past go?    
If it were me, I would allow it to slowly evolve.

I'd add that I believe there is a judgment call to be made.

It's that simple. Married men don't fall for hookers half their age, except for vanity, sex, and ego purposes. Sex with a hot chick always takes us right back to 'ego.' If you are married, then you are a complete idiot to have crossed this line, unless you are leaving your wife. If you are single, by all means enjoy the ride, but don't be shocked when she wants you to basically buy her out of the biz. Women who can fall for clients have a bit of a screw loose, because most clients are already fkin around and lying to someone else. Why the hell would any sane, secure woman be so naive to think 10 years down the road, she is not going to be in the exact same place... having a husband who fks around on her with a hooker.

When she pays her for you as well? What then?

I'm getting too lazy to be completely mean to these "I'm in love with a provider" posts.

I met a great girl, we hit it off. I tell her to really sell the GFE thing, I won't take it serious. After a while we are seeing each other a couple of times a week and she is really good at selling the fantasy. I would leave the meetings with my head spinning, wondering "what if?" Then I would laugh at myself and think "yeah right, haha" This is always on the clock by the way.  
       This goes on for months, a whole summer in fact. Then one day she lets me know she is approaching that line as well and we need to face it or go our separate ways. I don't know what might have happened if I had been single and able to take her up on it, but I treasure those days and will always remember her fondly.   I hope to find those kinds of feelings again.

Well, it's true. I mean how desperate are people today when they have to fall for women who suck 4 d*cks a day, and for married men already cheating on someone else? That just screams STUPID to me. Why would I want a guy who is already lying to someone else? Could it be because she is a total moron who needs someone to 'take care of her' so she can't really afford to be so picky?  Or, because most people are that stupid to actually think "I will be different... I am special and better than the wife/husband so he/she would change for me" lol. Yah, keep buying that load of bs ha ha.  

Maybe these instances are amplified on this site but how does this even happen at all?

You would be surprised at how many providers are that lonely, and looking for a man in the hobby to 'take care of them.' I don't get it either, but there are a lot of abuse victims, women with daddy and abandonment issues, just flat out desperate ones, and gold diggers, all here to find the next sap to sucker into being with them. Successful, intelligent women don't go crusing for clients as mates... they just don't. And, smart, secure men, don't go looking for hookers as mates... only to pass the time.

-- Modified on 1/19/2014 12:16:43 PM

...wherever they are.

Because we're all assuming you are.

Before jumping into LTRs.

TER is for reviews of escorts. That is, a man wants tohave sex with a woman and will pay her for it. Then he describes what happened.That's it! Nothing about that says having a relationship withher

this board dontcome across that way at all.

Attraction leading to wanting to spend more time with someone in a romantic setting is simply a function of:

My girl had invested all the money she made providing, in mutual funds and put herself through college and had more assets than me, I know, I did her taxes. lol  
I really have no idea what she ever saw in me, I was thunderstruck when she told me and even entertained the thought, for a while.

You are a tard.

Not!

Then it's pure desperation or ignorance. What woman would fall for a married man? A desperate one, who can't find a single one. Gimme a break.  

There are posters right here who are begging with every post, for a guy to take care of them so they can leave this life, rather than getting off their ass and doing it for themselves. You won't hear from the others, because they are not going to admit it. I mean, really lol.

Seriously, you buy that crap?  I call BS and think this is nothing more than a canned reply to your target audience.

Is it karma you are concerned with?

Sure, it's possible that this hook-up COULD  come to no good, but I think these things can also work out right and provide lots of happiness for both parties if it is handled right.

It's just Cos' marketing.

Plus, I think that if it should happen to anyone, it's a nice, generous, and prob financially endowed guy as you seem to be.

Maybe you're just not good company. There's plenty of women who have dinner or hook up. I am not unique in that.

Pretty judgmental....

Why would she want it to happen to her? You might like the thought of falling for clients, but that is the last thing most of us want or need in our lives. I never charged by the freakin hour since 2008, so ALL of my dates were extended in nature, and I was in the biz for a long time... that has NOTHING to do with allowing your mind to trick you, or blind you to how fked up and weak that really is. Do you really need that much attention that you get some type of charge when another woman's husband LIES to you and tells you how great you are compared to her? You're a hooker who spreads her legs an hour at a time... that is the ONLY reason they claim you are so great. They don't have to LIVE with you, listen to your problems. share a home, children etc. It's absurd to think that would not all change when the hooker becomes the wife, because it WILL lol. You will become the one with PMS, bitching about the garbage being left out too long, asking him to pick up Tony from soccer because you have to work for 12 hours that day, and being too tired to even thinnk about giving him a blow job.  

She has said MANY times she IS using the hobby to meet guys, so no, it's not marketing lol. Whatever works for her, but shoot me if I am ever in that state of mind. Married men who cheat are not exactly on my list of top 10 mates, nor would I be offended if a guy said he would never date a hooker. I would not either. It's called looking at the big picture, beyond blind emotions and naivety.

I've had 30 girlfriends, 3 wives and 300 hookers! And it was only the hookers I didn't pull from a bar!

If you read my stuff, then get it right.

No I wasn't talking to you.

In the off chance that you really are foolish enough to be looking for a ltr this way,

Buying out was HTG's term earlier.
But it is very apropos when talking about a business.

Regarding the "icky" thing, I wonder:

This allows me to continue it without living on Soup in a Cup as though I were a 20 yr old. If I fail in 1-2 yrs it's off to working for someone's else's dream, and well, that doesn't bring me much happiness to think about.

She didn't say anything about love or finding a partner.  Like all providers, her situation is a many-to-one situation.  I believe that is essential here.  Cosette is referencing some well known research on human relationships.  Proximity and exposure make a difference.  

everything you are able to share with one another and let things develop as naturally as possible. Respect, trust - take time. Finding solutions to "complications", takes time. Honesty and patience are easy if you really care.  

Your description sounds sweet. But money is just as complicated as romantic feelings. Knowing myself I would have a problem saying yes. It's just not what I'm after

Or do you think men who see you are donating to your blog/charity

to my post although it got off topic real quick as it tends to here. Yes I am married. And the lady in question is only 3 years younger than me and extremely well reviewed here. I chose to see an escort so I would not have the drama of an affair with emotions etc... Just wanted good sex was all. I was not some desperate guy looking for a woman. I could find one on my own if I wanted. I would never have chosen this route myself but I ultimately DID start down this road. If I had known I would meet a woman who I would be attracted to her personality and not just the sex I probably would not have done it. It just happened. You never know where or when you will meet someone.  I think I will just stay the course for now and see how things go. I like our friendship and would not want to pressure her. And no it does not bother me what she does for a living. Hell if I could get paid to please women I would do it also. Again thanks for the responses.

I am in similar place. I just decided to enjoy our time together for what it is, realizing it is probably just a fling for both of us. Good luck

If you go in to a coffeehouse and PURCHASE a vanilla latte and get to know the woman serving it, you might end up in a casual relationship that involves her sometimes making you coffee in the morning. If you purchase the services of a provider why is it so strange if she becomes a friend? I once had a ten-year relationship with my Tantra masseuse. The only drawback is that some of the mystery gets ironed out and she seems less of an exotic adventure when in bed. But... That's a small "price to pay."

My answer would be no. If I were really that dumb or destitute education or job wise to not be able to get OUT of this business on my own, I would not really have much respect for some dude who was that desperate for a chick lol. Now, if he was a guy who saw I was in fact working towards those things, but simply needed an extra cushion, might be another story, but I am not one for that kind of 'help.'

The hypothetical was posed toward Cos but if you're playing, the reality for the provider is that this scenario would only be posed by certain guys toward certain ladies anyway, and only under certain circumstances.

If you are married, then it's not about YOU! Stop thinking with your d(ck and blindness and think about your wife. I sure hope you don't have kids, because "Dad left mom for a hooker" never looks good on the news.

"Dad gave most of their assets to a hooker, even did her taxes, and then tried to leave with her, but she'd had enough of him."

You are correct... successful, intelligent women DON'T do this as a career, just for play money on the side, and not with just anyone for a quickie. There is a huge difference in the provider who puts an open sign up and fks 2 guys a day, 5 days a week compared to one who wants your first born to book, and for nothing less than 800 plus per date... sorry, but that IS smart.  

More of the observation than judgment; I just happen to agree with Hooktard that there are a LOT of abuse victims, women with daddy and abandonment issues.  Stereotypes are there for a reason.