-- Modified on 11/24/2012 7:00:09 AM

but the old, fat, bitch comments are a bit much. If guys can say that about a woman who has their children, wtf can they say about women in general and goodness, about hookers lol.

We are not here to hear about how much you hate your wife or the issues you have either, but it goes without saying that those undefined issues have led many men to the hobby. We ALL have issues with someone in our lives.

I have never heard such bs coming from the guys most want to label as the biggest assholes on this board either, so that should tell you something. Even THEY have the common sense not to just insult the woman they married that way. It screams disrespect.

I could see if the woman robbed you blind, lied to you about you being the father of her child, or fked your best friend, but some of the things people say about ones they claim to love is saddening.



-- Modified on 11/24/2012 3:24:11 PM

Sorry if I offended your general sensibilities... But wife and in law jokes are pretty much fair game anywhere.  I will do my best to try and not make fun of yours. No promises though.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 4:08:26 PM

London, I don't usually find myself disagreeing with you. However on this one I will. Unfortunately, angry ranting and humor are often the only coping mechanisms one has when dealing with such a depressing scenario. While I typically try to lean towards the humor side, I can totally understand and appreciate when some poor bastard just loses his s*** . The hobby may take care of the physical part that is missing, but I doubt for any of us will ever fill the mental void.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 4:07:49 PM

Like I said, I am all for stating the issues but doing so in an objective and somewhat respectful manner, but any guy labeling the woman he VOWED to stay with for better or worse, a fat, ugly, bitch, is no man I would ever want to see. It would be different if he was talking about an ex. Freedom of Speech allows anyone to be an asshole, so hey...that's fine, but does not mean everyone has to agree with it.

There are tons of topics the majority of the board gets in a tizzy over, and this one is no different I would imagine. No law that says you can't bash your wife, but when you do keep in mind you're putting out some things that show a side of you that you may not want to reveal. So, now instead of women feeling sorry for you because of the big, bad wife, we just think you're an asshole and don't wonder why she refuses to have sex with you lol. Not YOU personally, but in general.


-- Modified on 11/24/2012 3:43:00 PM

if you can't at least respect your wife..how in the world can you ever hope to respect yourself..

Then you wouldn't want me to make fun of my wife on TER?

But in general, i wouldn't feel "prideful" talking about my own family. Not pointing fingers here but if man is supposed to be the strong head of the household, there is a reason why wife or kids misbehave.

No one can make YOU do anything you don't want to do, and if that is the case you've become a codependent who needs some therapy.

The Onion News.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 4:07:04 PM

but maybe I missed something somewhere. But I can't remember a post where someone called his wife fat or ugly. I hear a lot of, I'm being driven mental, But not my wife is un attractive. I'm sure it's been done, but it doesn't seem like it's a Rampant problems worthy of a post thread. I still think mine is beautiful, which honestly just makes the situation even more frustrating.


Now if you will excuse me I have a therapy appointment to make. Lol

how can you generalize individuals and the entire society in numbers?

I hate having to be a jerk, but this whole thing is hypocritical nonsense. Unless your wife hobbies herself, by nature you are being disrespectful. Time to be honest about it.

Many guys here still adore their wives, so there is no need to bash them on a fk board where they hang out to pay for ass. Many don't view cheating with hookers as being disrespectful,  but they would view banging their wife's sister or BFF as such. Just because you do something and try your best not to toss it in her face, might not make you a saint and all, but it does not altogether make you a piece of shit. It is the objective and the malice that separate the two.

Many guys have an attitude of "Fk the wife, I am gonna get mine," whilst others have a version that says, "I really want to have sex with my wife, but she refuses me and that is the ONLY reason I am here." One is a self entitled asshole, and the other is a guy at the end of his rope trying  to regain the love and adoration he once had, but can't seem to find.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 3:57:27 PM

They are also the ones who accidentally knock the Women up. Men in committed relationships do not have accidents.

Did I just mention that topic?   Oh never mind I said the word relationship.

If a man comes here throwing his wife under the bus, I can't imagine any providers being too impressed; quite the contrary. Usually, lack if sex in a marriage is a symptom of something else.  Why criticize the wife! Maybe the husband is a bad lover, or an overall bad husband and she  has lost interest. Whatever the reasons there's no need to bash her. Respect goes a long way and hopefully we're all smart enough to realize there are two sides to the story....and somewhere in the middle lies the truth!

Sober...I am the second guy...Right now, I have had a few cocktails today, so you be the judge...lol

The OP however has his panties all twisted up for...well, whatever reason. Was an SO called out by name? Does the thread below contains harsh, direct insults???

And now Johnny Boys are here debating about how respectful they are or perceive themselves to be to their S.O...

I'm sorry to say this, but unless I see specifics like a turd shaped birth mark on her face, pit stains, or summer teeth...to me its all humorous generalizations or common use bitching that most of us can relate to. Nobody here knows me...and I don't know them. I will certainly never meet their S.O. (or at least that's my story for now...lol) I find it hard to view a quick witted crack as disrespectful.

Just about every man on this board cheats on his wife or girlfriend. Providers know & accept this fact.

But If a man ridicules his SO on this board, then a provider can safely assume he's not a gentleman.  --z

Unless you are i a open relationship. Hobbying is being disrespectful as it is cheating. Not judging as there is often lots of disrespect on both side but the very act of fucking other women and lying to you SO is disrespectful.

Narrow minded thought process...

Respect is earned...and even traded for in most circumstances.

I will speak for the masses when I say, if the S.O.'s that get poked at on this board wanted respect, then they should stop treating their partner like shit. Most of us are nothing more than the person that reaches the stuff on the top shelf and mows the lawn once a week.

I am sure that there are hobbyists who cheat just because they like something new and shiny...good for them, they do what they do. Most of us are hear because we are ridiculed at home. So instead of causing WWIII, its often better to just crack a few jokes with some buddies...or in this case anon acquaintances that can relate.

I lost my ability to be a gentleman to my wife years ago...it does not mean that I do not have it in me. Hell, if I were a real asshole, like you all assume us to be, I would have been a member here years ago. I should have made the plunge a long long time ago.

What I would assume...were I a provider...is that the rest of you have something to hide, and are sneaking around on an otherwise undeserving lady. But since assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups...its probably best not to make such broad sweeping generalizations.

it is all but over? What if there is an estate to settle, and children? What if neither person is really interested in sustaining the marriage and going through the process?

I'm not here because of lack of respect or lack of sex. I actually think marriage is awesome, but it has to be with the right person. When neither party can be happy, why stay in the marriage and be miserable? I am talking about after trying to work it out, not just quiting.

The OP states a basic disrespect for your SO and I agree. To call somone a hypocrit for being here I don't exactly agree with. Some people are assholes and really don't give a fuck. I certainly don't agree with them. I'm not here to hurt anyone, but it is a great way to transition into the next relationship while having companionship. Nobody wants to be alone all the time, and physical contact is a basic desire for all of us.

Did not take your comment as you being a jerk, but instead thought you might consider the possibility of other reasons. Not to mention most of the girls are HOT

Did you actually read his post before replying? Have you ever read any of his previous posts in the past couple years?
He is agreeing with you, and you're trying to start an argument?  

Allow these brain-dead comprehension-challenged dolts to spread their tangents lol

It's the captain Morgans talking. There are plenty of justifiable reasons to do the hobby, just like there are plenty of justifiable reasons to chat on a poon board. Well I'm certainly not going to sit here and say that everything that everybody says on this board is justifiable, the original poster painted a large swaths of guys with a big brush. I find it funny that he would pick and choose what would be socially acceptable. There are some guys on here that just need to vent it's their therapy.

I don't disagree with his premise , that some of its even out of line. But somebody here needs to play devils advocate. Having a conversation about respect is a laughable premise on this board. I'm sure some of the significant others don't deserve to be ridiculed, but that's not really Zangari's call. Moreover, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what was posted recently that got his panties in a bunch. Maybe my skin is thicker, but I haven't seen anything that I would consider out of line in the last few weeks.

I think that scoed was actually agreeing with me. But that said I still don't recall a single post from him that disrespected his S.O.

Not sure exactly why zangari  jumped his ass.

Many guys are neither self-entitled assholes nor at the end of their rope by your definitions but rather somewhere in between. Many still have sex with their wives but nowhere near as much as they'd like. The older women get, the less interested they are in sex so many men are stuck in relationships where they love their wives but aren't getting what they need to be happy. I wouldn't call that being at the end of their rope but based on marriage vows, I'd say that every one of us would be considered a self-entitled asshole by our SO's but not by the hookers we see. As sex workers, you see the situation as gray where the SO and the law sees black and white.

Let's face it, we're all deluding ourselves. We know what we are and we know it's wrong and yet we still do it. I wonder how many hookers quit this business and end up finding themselves in the role of the SO being cheated on later in life. If you were being cheated on by your SO, would you have the same reaction that civvie women do? Divorce the bastard and take half of everything he owns? Or would you be more tolerant knowing what you know from having been in this business?

to you have to do with ridiculing an SO?

Oh, you're so wrong LR, lol. Marriage changes everything and we do things we don't want to do all the time to avoid the consequences that will befall us if we don't. I don't like going grocery shopping during rush hour in hellish traffic but when the wife calls and tells me she wants this or that, I jump. That's not wife-bashing BTW, that's simply...marriage, LOL! Most wives don't want to go to their hubby's work-related ass-kissing company functions but they do it. How many of you got roped into attending your SO's HS reunion? Isn't that fun? The SO is socializing and having a great time with a bunch of people he/she knows and you don't. Such fun! I dare any of you to deny the SO a trip to their HS reunion - what do you think your fate would be?

LR, that's not codependency needing therapy, that's doing stuff you don't want to in order to keep the peace. If you don't want to be forced to do stuff you don't want to, I suggest you remain single.

 My original point:  A gentleman should not ridicule his SO on a fuck board.

The dissenting opinion: if you're cheating on your SO, then a moral threshold has been crossed & it really doesn't matter what else you do to her.

If you agree with the dissent, then let's consider the implications:  if you're cheating on your SO, then it's ok to publicly humiliate her.  Is that right?  Is it also OK to beat her?  Why not?  Since you're fucking other women, why bother with any other moral standards.  That's the underlying logic of the dissent.

I'm surprised that so many men have disputed my original post on this thread.  I thought I was merely stating the obvious, but apparently not.  --z

....referring to the thoughts expressed in the thread 2 down from this one.  Maybe the "Captain" has blurred your vision...LOL  

I don't think anyone should bash their SO on this board, in part because the SO is not here to defend her/him/self, also plenty of other good reasons have already been posted.

She is the best thing to have ever happened to me. Now I have pointed out some feeling that aren't always happy I had or in some cases have about her line of work especially when I first learned of her choice to provide again. But not once have I put her down. She is smarter than I, hot as all get out, kind, caring, forgiving, and far better educated than I. I am lucky to have her. If I am wrong show me the post. Because if I did I did not intend to and need to issue a correction and an apology. If not you owe me one. Not that I expect to get one.

Then her cat sessions with her coworkers and friends? And yes things are starting to get a little blurry. I am feeling mighty fine right now... Lol

Scoed's post was Definitely a reply to you. He was agreeing with your post saying "you wouldn't be here if you respected your SO."
But in saying that, (and from knowing scoed's past history) he was also agreeing with Z that it is not ok to bash your SO here. That is why I said he was agreeing with Z.
Scoed doesn't need me to defend him, (and I'm sure he'll be back later) but I just couldn't see the point of Zangari attacking him!

I was questioning as to why a man who proposed to a woman, would ridicule that same woman he proposed to?

She must have been worthy of the marriage proposal.

Fuck this I'm about to start drinking. This has the potential for a fun night on the boards.

The crown royal and today's head injury might have me looped pretty quickly

.... but yes, there is a difference between office "cat sessions" with her girlfriends and here on this board, imho.   And really, do we want to set the standard for our posting by comparing ourselves to a "cat session?"  And before anybody writes it, yes we have some TER posters who are "catty" and most, sad to say, are men.  I believe Z's admonition is correct for the individual who has self respect.

BTW, I have just poured my first Captain of the evening...with regular coke of course....

You should show respect for your SO and not bash them here or anywhere. I was just agreeing that people having a lot of respect for their marriage would not be engaging in an activity that would devastate there SO. The the fact that some would hurt their wife in one way would do so in anther.

I do agree with Zangari that one should not bash their SO here or anywhere for that matter. I am not surprised by it. One should never ridicule ones SO, but it is not rare one ether side of the fence.

By the way, I want to be clear I am not judging or condemning anyone. There is not perfect relationships or people. I have done things that has hurt my wife and she has done things that hurt me. None of that makes thing right but it does make us human. Who am I to say what anyone else has done is worse that what I my self have done? No judgement here.

blaming other people for your actions which in this case is whatever the fk most guys claim is the 'reason' for being here. If your wife MAKES you cheat, she must be the devil and have you possessed. Get an Exorcist lol. Someone asking you to do them a favor and you doing it, is not the same thing as saying, "I cheat because my wife is a bitch." Gee, I could say I am a hooker because my parents did not pay my bills for the last 6 years...sounds just as stupid does it not?

If you are saying someone else's actions affect YOUR own behavior, you are in fact a codependent unable to make your own damn decisions and take responsibility for them. It's blame shifting, which is immature and rather elementary for grown adults.

You are comparing Apples (the sacrifices you make for the one you love) to Oranges (blaming another person for how you feel and act). Just thought I would clear that up, because I am in total agreement with the first.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 9:31:05 PM

they are doing Polish...both men and women, but we won't go there. Would I divorce a man who cheated on me if I were still in fact giving the shit up and with the same gusto I do as a provder? Damn right, because if I am doing every possible thing I can and he still can't control his c*ck, I won't be with him very long.

Would I take half?  I would not marry a guy who was that much wealthier than me to begin with, so it would be an equal split.  I never signed up to be in an open relationship, so going in he should know what I expect or don't bother being with me.

I guess I just don't have time for the bs games people play, and honestly I don't think I could ever live with ANYONE for 5 years much less 20. I am just not made that way.

-- Modified on 11/24/2012 9:36:13 PM

I would love to hear one story of a couple where first there were problems in the bedroom, then the husband went "out" to providers, and finally a shrink was brought in to analyze the couple and send them back to bliss at home.  

-CG

Sure...there is a HUGE difference. Her friends know me. I see them a few times a year, and several have admitted that she talks mad shit...and some of them have said its unwarranted, and they question why I stay. Not isolated btw...your wives are talking shit about you too...get your ego over it. Some clowns here go into generalizations...your wives go into nasty detail...Everything from the smell of your socks to the size if your cocks. Her friends know more about you then you know about yourself...So I guess its not the same.

So...we get a bit pissy because a few guys go off from time to time...

I'm sitting in the living room one day listening to the wife and one of her friends having one of these sessions. Her friend goes on about how her hubby has gotten fat. He's 5'10" maybe 230...I know the guy...he's 40 and is probably in no worse shape then most...a little B.O.B. but whatever. Meanwhile she's sitting there in grey stretchy pants that have her ass looking like the surface of the moon. So of course (as you can see from this post, I am nothing if not honest) I call her on it. And of course I am the asshole for sticking up for my buddy. So...calling a wife out to anon's better, worse, the same...then calling out the hubby to people you know. hmmmm.

I hate to send you off into the world jaded, you should discover it for yourself. But, my friend...all of this can and probably will happen to you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news during the holiday's...

Now what are you doing on a FK board on a Saturday night. Enjoy your life...go hang with your friends before they get married and become boring...lol

A little overly dramatic, but I understand your point.

This board however is FFFFAAAARRRRR from public humiliation. Even for the guy a few threads down. You could do it on Facebook....you could do it to her family...her co-workers...friends...etc etc etc.

I know most of these guys are totally full of shit, and that their S.O.'s might be great people...but wtf do I know? I take it at face value, because too much of it sounds so familiar. This is their chosen therapy. Even if misdirected, its what they use to heal themselves.

The moral threshold isn't about piling on, its about (first person) me saying to another attached guy, that his actions are in some way less socially acceptable then mine. That I respect my wife...but not he his. Putting aside guys that are here because their S.O.'s have physical issues, or even condone this type of stuff...leaving the rest of us that are in fact, completely disrespecting our respective family units. That one guys does it from a place of anger and resentment, that he just can't shake, not matter how many girls he has seen...well, thats not for me to judge. And if someone throws his S.O. under the bus looking for some empathy, sympathy or advise...well I will oblige him if I can relate or just in general have anything to offer.

I would say that a majority are here because their current civvie life is less than desirable. Some can communicate that with class...others drool on the keyboard. You may not have an appreciation for that...I do.

am I the first person to ever type those words on TER??? I think so!!!! LMAO

....your gross generalizations are off the scale, imho.  First of all, I am not married and currently have no SO.  In my 62 years I have been married twice, lost my first wife to cancer and she was a sweetie, never did any of the things you harp about and I did not hobby while she was alive.   My second wife was a provider when I met her and we had some good years and 3 kids but we never treated each other as you have outlined in this screed.  I have very rarely had any relationship partner talk "shit" about me.  I have always shown the women in my life respect...you should try it next time!

Your view on this subject is heavily influenced by your very poor relationship(s).  Do not assume all relationships are this way or that many of us would talk about an SO the way you do.  In truth, had I heard anyone going on (in person) about their wife the way you have and it was in the time shortly after my first wife had died, I would have.....................well you figure it out. How's that for a 2 cents worth.....and I'm only on my second Captain....not blurry.....yet!