I’ve been seeing providers for years..very unhappily married but never had the balls for divorce due to financial and kid destruction!  Wife always said no one else would ever want me blah blah(yea she’s destroyed my mental state as well) so 7 years ago started this hobby and was/am very satisfied with it over all.  Have met some very nice ladies and I have no regrets!

I’ve had a similar experience.  I fell in love with a provider and contemplated all the life changing decisions imaginable.  I came to my senses, told her the situation was impossible, and she pulled away. This was extremely painful.  Seeing other people only temporarily dulled the heartache. Even when seeing others, I was thinking of her.  There is no easy way around this.  You have to gut it out and move on. The pain lessens with time.  

You are miserable living in the false belief you'd harm your kids by getting out of a miserable marriage. What you don't realize is your kids have long been aware that you and your wife loathe each other and they have suffered from living in an atmosphere of unhappiness.
So bite the bullet and end this mess of a fraudulent marriage. Everyone will end up happier.
Remember the old expression: Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

... and even they are useless sometimes..  

What a nice way to say, "Grow a pair."

Thanks.. Nice to see you too.. Hope all is well...  

Some have even called me "Captain Nice."

I thought you was dead!

Nah...Not even close.. Alive and thriving.. LOL

wore something like this while you're trying to save the world.  Lol

Who's next to reappear, CPA perhaps?  

Thanks !!... When the Tax season is over perhaps..lol

-- Modified on 4/20/2021 5:23:35 PM

Hope life has been treating you well. Nice to pop in and see you here. I thought about you when the Nats
won it all!

Hey you !!! Good to hear from you as well Steph..  

Yes, I agree, life does suck when there’s no way to get out of suffering, but the paradox is, there is no way to get out of suffering while living, and there are many levels to it; heartbreak is one of them. So, when Ms. Pleasure comes around and leaves, enjoy the time you had with her, as in you mistress and the 100 escorts, and even that point in time you may have enjoyed your wife. (You did marry her.)  All too often it seems we get hung up on the other’s job to make us happy, which may also apply to the other wanting us to make them happy. When happiness is no longer met, what happens? Disappointment, where people just let you down in the end. That’s right, people will always let you down. But really, others have their own wants and needs that aren’t in sync with yours or mine, so it gets complicated. (Seems you are dealing with a flood of emotion that didn’t exist when things were going well with your mistress.)

Give me a break! It sounds like you have kids, you own your own business, you had time and money for a four month affair, and you have seen 100 providers in the last four years! If I took a poll of miserable married guys, your circumstances would put you in the top 5% of least miserable! Quit complaining and begin by appreciating what you have. Next, plan the timing of your escape from the wicked witch. At some age your kids will get it. In the mean time, the best way to get over a woman is to fuck another woman! Go see your last ATF, several times!

Ok, I didn't exactly quote CDL, but close enough for our purposes.

The worst part of it is the "What will they think?" Employees, Clients, Friends, Family... the list goes on... that was my fear back in the day.. money is secondary.

May I suggest:

your gravestone?  "He was a loving father who tolerated his wife that he no longer loved?  Why does he have to have choice like that?  He can still be an exemplary father to his children WITHOUT having to stay with his wife.  I've been there.  These choices are not mutually exclusive.  You just have to make time and work a little harder when it comes to the kids.  

Mark Manson wrote the book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck'.  One of the premises he put forth is how to find meaning in life.

My x wife hated my friends, so I had none.  I bought a Motorcycle and a non for profit to make new ones.  Worked wonders and helped rebuild my self image.

#1 through #4 is excellent advice. And, I like particularly #1 that takes it to the extreme in acceptance to all outcomes when it comes to responsibility. Yes, we make choices, whether the people we choose to be with agree or not, but it is our responsibility to handle our own problems and/or successes.  #2 - #4 fall under the umbrella of #1 in how to go about it leading up to acceptance.