I'll be honest, I almost didn't reply to this one. Not because I didn't have thoughts, but because I was very aware of how it might land. Like I think "I'm all that and a bag of chips", which I promise is not the vibe I'm going for. Claire and a few others hit on things really well and I didn't want to pile on for the sake of it. But I came back and reread the thread and felt like there were some things still worth saying. So, buckle up buttercups... because here we are.
Before anything else, I'm going to call out the cultural context because it hasn't come up. This agency appears to be UK based which means the advice and outlook is coming from a completely different perspective where the rules, regulations, and law are drastically different. Obviously, some of the advice is above board for everyone but some of it doesn't translate cleanly to a market, like the US, where this is still criminalized. As a dual citizen, one of the things I find both endearing and occasionally maddening about us Americans is how thoroughly we assume everything is about us and for us. The commercial sex industry is different everywhere so we just need to sometimes do our due diligence. When it comes to advice, take what sticks and toss what doesn't.
Alright, so let's talk about pricing. Agencies aren't a monolith. There are agencies that undercut the independent market by 50% and agencies with a baseline rate of $2K for the first hour. The idea that an agency = premium and independent = desperate is not accurate. What IS totally accurate is the science to pricing when starting out. More often than not, the most successful model is to price for volume to build clientele and allow yourself the ability to say no without worry and THEN you raise rates. Every time you raise, you understand you may lose 20-25% of your existing clients and you have to replace them. Rinse and repeat. At some point you reach a ceiling and that may be due to your availability, location, economy, ect. Then you have to decide how to either break through that ceiling or maintain it. That's just business. It applies here exactly like it applies everywhere else.
With respect to professional communication... yes, broadly... hard agree. But communication evolves and context matters enormously. The way I communicate with a first time inquiry is completely different from how I communicate with someone I've been seeing for three to five years. With a new inquiry, I'll let bits of my humor come through but it's calibrated. I'm not going to use dry wit and/or playful snark with someone who cannot understand my tone via the written word. With a longtime regular we have know one another's types of humor, we have a shorthand, and inside jokes that took years to build. Treating every interaction identically regardless of relationship depth feels more like a robot. You can be professional and still personable.
On personal/professional life staying private, I'll give you 85%. There are things that absolutely need to stay private. I believe if you have children they don't belong on your timeline. I don't think you should post photos of your family or friends without their explicit permission. I believe that if people are in the background of your photos, you should blur their faces. I don't think anyone should post where they are in real time. I have more boomer like complaints (but really, I do have actual boomer like complaints lol). But I genuinely push back on the idea that sharing nothing personal is the answer. I had a tweet go viral because I talked about how sex work gave me the number one luxury which is time. When I worked in Corporate America I had to request time off, hope it got approved, jump through every hoop just to go sit with my Dad who was going through chemotherapy and then fight about FMLA when he died. But because of this work, when my brother was going through chemotherapy, I could just go. I could text clients and tell them what's up and work with them or send deposits back. That post resonated with thousands of people because it was real. Humanizing yourself isn't always a security risk because it reminds people we have things going on too and it builds client relationships that last years.
On to the legal language... I'm going to say this bluntly because we're on TER and the irony is beyond hard to ignore. These reviews can be used in a court of law. They have been used in divorce proceedings, custody proceedings, and internal employment disputes. I have personally watched a colleague delist because her reviews were going to be introduced as evidence in a custody proceeding. The idea that carefully worded ads are your legal shield when profiles here have lists of services that the public can see, they just cannot see the actual answer of "Yes" or "No" or "YMMV". All you can really do is screen, keep your head down, and not make yourself low hanging fruit.
Which brings me to screening. The argument someone made that truly effective screening would require a PI and a psych profile fundamentally misunderstands what screening is actually for. Screening has never been about certainty, it's about MITIGATION. Really, I like to think there are two goals. First, accountability because when someone has provided verifiable identifying information, the risk calculus for bad behavior changes dramatically. Second, filtration because people unwilling to be identified self select out before you ever meet them. And that's screening working exactly as intended.
Someone brought up hotel profiling question. And yes, it's real. One thing that has worked surprisingly well for me is that I still have my engagement ring and I wear it when I travel. People are significantly less likely to give a second look to a woman who appears to be married or engaged. If they decide to pay attention, they assume you're having an affair and mind their own business. Which, frankly, exactly as it should be.
Finally, I want to gently pushback on Maggie's closer. I have enormous respect for Maggie, the business she's built, her longevity, and she's not wrong for her business. But "we are a fantasy here to fulfill your fantasy" describes one model, not all of them. The GFE model at a certain level is about creating conditions where something genuine actually can happen like real conversations, curiosity, connection, even within the container of what this is. I don't think it's misleading anyone but it's just a different model. And for the clients it's built for, it's exactly what they came for. I digress.
TLDR: The difference between struggling and thriving in this industry isn't just protocol and business strategy. It's knowing which advice actually applies to your situation and which advice was written for someone else's business model entirely.