I wrote this almost a year ago, but since we are in joking mode here I thought this would be appropriate.



"Whenever I go in there to buy a simple cup of coffee, they expect me to participate in the "Starbucks Experience". And if I order my coffee "wrong", I get corrected by some minimum-wage-twit who couldn’t articulate their way home.

They don’t sell their coffees in Small, Medium or Large. NOOOOO! They have some pretentious BS names like Tall (which is small), Grande and Venti. WTF? Venti is not even a word – it is a Starbucks word – look closely at the menu, they have the word Venti trademarked! They made up the fricking word! And then they train their staff to not respond to normal words like, "I would like a small cup of coffee."

They ask me, "You mean a Tall?"

Let me see – I’m looking at three cups: a short one, a medium one and a tall one. I don’t want the tall one, I didn't bring that much money – I want the short fucker! Read my fricking lips: IT IS NOT TALL, IT IS SHORT! Goddamn – no wonder the poor bastards who work at Starbucks are dyslexic.

I can see it now – guys, let’s use the Starbucks method for sizing up your cocks. Here, some poor guy has the shortest one, but we will call it the Long cock. Then someone with a medium-sized cock is now Mondo and the guy with the big honker gets to call it Bando. That's right - Bando. I made up that word and you have to use it or I will ignore you. And every woman/man can take pleasure in knowing that her/his man is at least Long.

And what is with these other Starbucks code words, like "With Room" or "Extra Shot"? How fricking pretentious is that? I even notice Starbucks Snobs in line practicing their order so they can whiz through all the special vernacular so, are you ready for this, they can order a cup of coffee.

I would go on, but I am getting hungry. I’m heading over to the local In-n-Out Burger to get my 2x4 burger cooked Animal Style. Later."


This is meant as a joke and not meant to offend anyone

real addicts don't have to practice their orders...they flow naturally, and are usually best-delivered while talking on the phone and operating a PDA.  (I admit, however, that I call it FourBucks.)

Sincerely,

Bandovercaffeinated

Anna, your "Bandos" are fantastic.I am going to place an extra order when I visit in October.

My last lady just called me a....
"A long expresso with room"

quad shot iced white chocolate vanilla latte.  

YUM!!!!!!!
Coffee Bean here I cum!   Aren't they just orgasmic????

*kisses*
Jazz

I agree on the Starbucks thing BUT you gotta love that old In-n-out burger animal style! MMMM

At least she didn't say "no cream"!

Sorry but Venti is a world in Italian and that mean Twenty.

Men, coffee, chocolate, the richer the better......Nice to see you posting Anna

she might have said something to him like, "Aren't you going to EXTEND a welcome to me?" OUCH!

I prefer a double shot.
I am not a coffee drinker ealier so...

It was great meeting you at Rose's party.  You are such a sweet lady.  Let's get together soon for lunch.  I show you how to get those double shots.  

Yes it was nice meeting you too at the party, and I am really curious about the double shoot or why not even triple that I have heard about too

bathroom...one looks at the other and says....

"ya know this water sure is cold"

The other looks back and says......

"yea and its deep too"

Badda Bing......

That is too funny because you are sooo right. I thought that everytime I went in so I finally did something about it.

Now when I order I say "Just give a tall cup o' Joe, black." When I am served I say "I'm sorry, I asked for the tall cup this one is short1" They usually fumble for words apologizing and pointing out the names they say it is confusing. When the say they will fix it I say " You know, this one will do just fine!" I smile and leave and we are both happy. Plus, I never get frustrated about the size-naming thing anymore

But your analogy Anna has given me a new way to approach the whole frustrating "size matters" issue with a woman.

From this point on, before any initial lovemaking encounter I will make sure to tell my new parnter. "I sure do hope you enjoy a Long cock, baby!"

In-n-out b-URGE-r --- Animal style! Even better if you tell " give it to me "DOUBLE DOUBLE"  hehehe

Can I make it up to you?

Use the Starbucks method and measure your vagina.

I cannot speak for Anna, but mine would be a double erpresso small but potent and would give you a good jolt of energy baby....

thiz bored went stupid with thez dumbass jokes.wtf with thez meeninles jokes.sum peple just like to post so others will kno they ther.wut happend to the info thiz bord sapost to be bout wich is TnA n P.no.insted u get stupid fukin jokes.the blak ms amerika joke was racil and stupid.who gives a fuk bout starducks cofe.then make that into cok sizes.fukin stupid.ithink thiz bord mist me.now how bout sum good stuf like TnA n P.

I am sorry you feel that way, but my personal opinion is not that this board is ONLY for info on providers etc. It is a harsh world out there for all of us in this hobby anyway, so why can't we share a few laughs if it makes people feel good? Isn't that what this hobby is about anyway? To make us all feel good and have fun!!

-- Modified on 9/27/2006 8:57:00 AM

Get back in your truck and go on the road. I hear there's a sheep waiting for you at one of the truck stops.

I wasn't very nice to this poor boy he does need some help.

-- Modified on 9/27/2006 7:55:39 PM

i jes cant typ so good wen i hav to driv and jerk off all at the sam time.  do you thik yu is one of them gud fellow gang guyz, cuz i think yur a poser and a foney.  so shoot me. relly, yu cant touch me.

mr.brasi is rite.ilike sheep.was a lady on here sum time ago by the name dolly.by the way.get ur mafioso shit rite.Brasi was nevr part of the gud fellos.dum ass.ask Virgil Sollozzo.ur the poser mr.ali-ass whatever_

WTF?  Shouldn't posts at least be a) related in some way to this industry or the people in it, b) in English, and c) at least slightly intelligible?  Can they moderate just an alias, not the poster?

Thank you October can't cum fast enough!!