Phoenix
I wrote this almost a year ago, but since we are in joking mode here I thought this would be appropriate.
"Whenever I go in there to buy a simple cup of coffee, they expect me to participate in the "Starbucks Experience". And if I order my coffee "wrong", I get corrected by some minimum-wage-twit who couldn’t articulate their way home.
They don’t sell their coffees in Small, Medium or Large. NOOOOO! They have some pretentious BS names like Tall (which is small), Grande and Venti. WTF? Venti is not even a word – it is a Starbucks word – look closely at the menu, they have the word Venti trademarked! They made up the fricking word! And then they train their staff to not respond to normal words like, "I would like a small cup of coffee."
They ask me, "You mean a Tall?"
Let me see – I’m looking at three cups: a short one, a medium one and a tall one. I don’t want the tall one, I didn't bring that much money – I want the short fucker! Read my fricking lips: IT IS NOT TALL, IT IS SHORT! Goddamn – no wonder the poor bastards who work at Starbucks are dyslexic.
I can see it now – guys, let’s use the Starbucks method for sizing up your cocks. Here, some poor guy has the shortest one, but we will call it the Long cock. Then someone with a medium-sized cock is now Mondo and the guy with the big honker gets to call it Bando. That's right - Bando. I made up that word and you have to use it or I will ignore you. And every woman/man can take pleasure in knowing that her/his man is at least Long.
And what is with these other Starbucks code words, like "With Room" or "Extra Shot"? How fricking pretentious is that? I even notice Starbucks Snobs in line practicing their order so they can whiz through all the special vernacular so, are you ready for this, they can order a cup of coffee.
I would go on, but I am getting hungry. I’m heading over to the local In-n-Out Burger to get my 2x4 burger cooked Animal Style. Later."
This is meant as a joke and not meant to offend anyone 
Thank you October can't cum fast enough!!
I agree on the Starbucks thing BUT you gotta love that old In-n-out burger animal style! MMMM
I prefer a double shot.
I am not a coffee drinker ealier so...
It was great meeting you at Rose's party. You are such a sweet lady. Let's get together soon for lunch. I show you how to get those double shots.
Yes it was nice meeting you too at the party, and I am really curious about the double shoot or why not even triple that I have heard about too
