maybe think about a screening service ( p411 date-check) I know i have alternative screening methods for people without references and I'm sure other ladies do too, keep at it the right fit will come along.

I know it can be disheartening but it will get better i promise!

I know it is frustrating. We've been there, to some extent or the other.

Be prepared to provide information needed to make the ladies feel comfortable and safe. That may be uncomfortable for you at the beginning, but it is part of what gets you over the no-references hurdle.

Try posting on your local board. Politely let the local ladies know that you are a newbie that will do what you can to fulfill any screening alternative to references. Be patient and you'll probably get some taker willing to work with you. Then once you have seen her and been a gentleman, ask her about being a reference for you.

Good luck.

Man, it's posts like these that make me realize how lucky I was with my (very recent) introduction to the hobby.

It all started because I didn't have a clue and posted on the local board of the area I was visiting about trying to find providers for my very first time. Two responded to the post. Both had 30+ great reviews. I chose one, contacted her and went through her own personal version of screening.

As I become more knowledgeable, I realize I very well could still be looking months later. I had no references, wasn't a member of DateCheck or other screening sites and work for a small company with no switchboard (we all have direct numbers) so she couldn't really just verify employment.

In my favor, I do have a bio and photo on my company's web site, to which I directed the provider I had chosen.

Only in retrospect do I realize how smoothly my introduction to the hobby went. During our session (which I LOVED. Thank you), she mentioned that she really doesn't see too many new clients. When I asked why she bothered to make an exception for me, she did mention the photo. So I guess I look pretty benign.

I haven't seen anyone since then (end of May), but I have a confirmed appointment in a different city that I got with a provider who knew the first one personally (she told me at the end of our session she'd be happy to provide a reference for me or suggestions).

I absolutely realize how lucky I got and I will always remember my first experience and the woman who provided it with very warm feelings. All I can say to the OP is keep trying. Unless there is a good reason not to, someone will probably take a chance on you. After that, you can build a reference library by visiting a provider the first one either knows personally, or by reputation. Then, you're off to the races.

I realize there are a lot of anti-agency folks on TER, but often times they're the easiest way to start getting references.  It's not the ultimate solution, but it's a good start.

Have you tried seeing ladies that advertise over at the Indy Board? They're not too strict about references if you explain your situation.

Agencies are the ones who insist on references.

If someone had called me without references i would most likely give the same response.  Scratch it - definately give the same response.

HOwever, if you had contacted me via e mail indicating that you have recently joined P411 or Datecheck and willing to provide me with enough information to effectively screen, that would be a different story.

It is hard for newbies, both Gentlemen and Ladies, but we do what we can to help.

Lina

date check, or RS2000?