This post is basically here because I have to tell someone. And, since I can't talk to anyone I actually know about it, I figured posting to complete strangers on the newbie board will have to do.  

A bit about me to put things in perspective..  I'm in the early 40s, been married around 15 years, and have 2 kids.  Other than one brief recent experience (which I'll get to) I've only ever had sex with my wife.   I "fooled around" with girls before my wife, but not actual sex.  This wasn't for religious reasons or anything like that...  I always over think things and came up with various reasons not to.

I love my wife, and she's beautiful.  She's not fridged but she is on meds that lower her sex drive.  Mostly that's OK, but it does get old.  That's not really the issue though.

The real issue is every few years I find myself trying to convince myself to not like her (I wouldn't go so far as to say hate), and the start working on some woman that I have a thing for at the time...  never successfully because.. I over think things  but it does make me resentful of my wife for a while.

Anyway, in trying to break that particular cycle, and not end up like others in my family (affairs with psychos.. or even not psychos)....  I've decided to see a couple of providers on an upcoming trip.  

I'm hoping doing this will help "scratch the itch" once or twice a year, and maybe help me work on some of my other issues.

There's more to it of course, and I'm not deluded enough to deny that I'm getting to that "mid-life crisis" stage in my life.

I don't seem to have a real question...  I'm not asking for advice (although I wouldn't be surprised if I get some of that with a big dose of criticism ...it the internet after all).  I often see men complaining about their wives on the board..  and I often wonder if they convinced themselves they disliked their wives in order to justify what they do.  I realize I'm doing some justification of my own though.

Anyway, that's more than enough for now.