I haven't posted on this site for quite a while. haven't even logged in because i've pretty much stepped away from the hobby. but i was going to attend the spring mixer as a way of saying so long to some faces. As it turns out i had to no show last minute due to an accident i had that day which involved a laceration of my finger- there was a concern i had cut a tendon, anyway. but today in my spam email i received an email from a person claiming to be a writer for new york magazine. this person wrote that they were doing a story on the hobby and was aware that i attended the spring mixer, which again i did not. they wanted to interview me regarding the hobby. the fact that this person had access to my email is disturbing to say the least. there was so much hoopla about the email address for the mixer not being given out and then my email somehow is compromised. of course my email doesn't have any name connected to it but that isn't fool proof, we all know that. and i'm a nobody. not a doctor lawyer or indian chief so my info isn't going to get anyone anywhere, but the fact the list of the mixer was somehow passed along again is disturbing. i haven't been active in the hobby for a while now but i wanted to alert others about this occurrence.  stay safe
c

-- Modified on 4/27/2012 1:15:53 PM

Got it also..not happy!

Did you verify his/her contact info?

My suggestion to gentlemen is hushmail as it's base is Canadian.
I'm sorry to hear they are emailing, but we have to understand there will always be informers and unwelcome lurkers Discretion is the key. Please gentlemen do not to use your home, family, or work email for hobbying.

It doesn't matter what e-mail site you use, it should never have been compromised.

Legit writer or not, it seems pretty obvious they got your e-mail from the person or persons that had access to the list of requested attendees.  Is there another plausible explanation?

I'm livid. Has anyone talked to vadhaman? Who else but he had access to e-mails? So far no one has posted this on the Meet & Greet board and vadha is promoting another party there already. I'd love to hear his explanation.

They did not write me. I don't attend meet and greets. And when it comes to soliciting thru email, of course it doesn't matter if you use hushmail or yahoo or.. But I'm telling gentlemen to feel secure within their email exchanges they may choose hushmail and create a hobby email because things like this can happen. And they will be found out if they used their personal accounts.

The program that was used for the invitations (Evite I think) listed everyone's email address that it went to and/or responded. The "Host" either didn't know that the feature was on or didn't care.

1. Mr Wolfe was there with MY knowledge and consent under SUPER -Strict conditions. After checking him out thoroughly, I invited him so long as he would NOT mention any names ; any handles or ANYTHING that could be used to identify anyone in any way. He is a legitimate academic doing legitimate research about the hobby. A number of hobbyists and proividers well known to me had been speaking with him in total confidence for MONTHS before the Mixer.
2. Nobody's e-mail got posted anywhere. It was listed on the address bar of the e-mail that went out to other VERIFIED hobbyists and providers. I wasn't in the mood to send out about 200 individual e-mails and couldn't use the "bcc" function for a reason I still can't figure out. I tried repeatedly but it just wouldn't work.Since the e-mail in question went out ONLY to verified hobbyists and providers who asked me to attend the Mixer, I didn't think it was that big a deal. Not the best way to do it I admit, but I was doing my best under the circumstances then and there existing. I did NOT want to get any "third parties" involved by asking for help .
3. Some of you got an invitation to speak with him in strictest confidence and total anonymity. IF YOU WANT TO ! All recipients can either respond to his invitation or ignore it.
4. Frankly , I am surprised that somebody thought it was a good idea to discuss this publicly but be that as it may. All they had to do was send ME a PM.
5. I am not goijng to discuss this further in any way , shape or form BUT anyone who has any legitimate questions or concerns about this is invited to PM me.

for everyone in NY.
The media have no business coming to a PRIVATE party. Are you sane? The media cannot be trusted and you allowed some slick Willie to attend. That was a serious security breach! Then to allow him access to the email list is a huge blunder, and we can see the results.
The media is still in a frenzy over recent events, and you used poor judgement.

Thanks to you, there may not be any more NYC Mixers because you have blown it. Your high profile in your face way of doing things and allowing people to just walk right in has put everyone at risk.

My advice to the recipients of the media emails is to IGNORE. Lets not give trust where it is not earned, especially to the media where we have already been trashed repeatedly and no one knows what the writer's motives are.

How can you possibly think you have any right to make these kinds of decisions without informing your guests beforehand. I am against going to meet and greets. This is just one more reason why I don't go.  While I don't Blame a reporter for doing what comes natural. But you had no right to know this and not tell guests. You show ego trip and belittlement to the people who trusted you. I think you've done a milestone here in disappointing people. I have for years been asked to attend these parties and always played a lone wolf for a reason. Always warned my clients to be weary and cautious in this hobby. This was wrong of you yet you are smug and silly. Reporters do what they have to do, and if they sneak in I'm not surprised. But you let him in open arms and closed mouth to guests. So wrong so wrong of you. But I do say thankyou for being honest. You couldve lied now. Fair play for coming clean now. But now I think the fire and brimstone might bruise you a bit

Are you insane? You knowingly invited an informant to your party? Your reputation is not very good but you are even worse than what I thought you were. You've knowingly jeopardize this industry just to have someone talk about your party in new York magazine and that is totally insane and reckless behavior!  Do you even know the consequences of articles in new York magazine about the discussion boards and the industry?  That's almost like inviting LE to monitor the boards even more!

And just FYI undercover freelance journalist is just another word for Informant.
Grow up!

Discuss this publicly on our board is a problem? Have you lost your mind? You're like the teenager who murders both his parents and begs for leniency because he's an orphan. You should be permanently banned for such an idiotic, thoughtless breach of everyone's privacy.

maybe vademan or badman believes in free speech and free pussy

is a complete Id*#t & attention getter...he should be ostracized by the NY & NJ community...boycott all his get togethers....& he should be reminded each time he advertises on the m&g board...post this thread on his M&G threads from now on if he stupid enough to have more party's.

What a jerk!!!!!

The gall you have in your response:

"4. Frankly , I am surprised that somebody thought it was a good idea to discuss this publicly but be that as it may."

This is exactly  the ONLY place for this to be discussed...on a Fuck Board...you could have mentioned your "idea" here, or on the Evite & poll the attendees...but you knew what that response would be...

What a jerk!!!!!

Did anyone figure out that when one has your e mail address its a short hop to get your ISP address also which tracks back to your computer and location.

Good luck guys, you all have been outed and you are now exposed.

Does anyone believe that he was really a "journalist or academic" as stated and not LE playing the role.  The ABC Nightline newscast spoke about private hobby parties.  So how nice it would be for LE to infiltrate a "Private" party, get your e maiil addresses, ISP addresses and later a year or so you are all called in to testify or questioned before a grand jury regarding the sponsor of the parties on promotion charges? Yes, hosting a party for the purposes of connecting people to an illegal business is promotion.

He claims it was to much work for him to figure out how to make the BCC function work or wait until later or reboot or better yet do everyone individually if necessary.

He was NOT too lazy to collect your admission fee was he?

Its time everyone out him and his party crew the way he outed all of you!

Trusted members invited to the party.  In this hobby NO ONE  IS TRUSTED!! He just proved that.

This has absolutely not one thing to do with me other than being hobby related and I am outraged.  How dare the host of this party think this is ok!  I will never attend another meet and greet again!  This has done it!  

Some seem to think that it's not a big deal, but it really is. To just think lightly of this and the whole situation in its entirety is  really a huge mishap and mistake. Yes we are all here on this board but many restrict it to just that. The hobby is a delicate place to be. Privacy and safety and discreetness is the upmost importance to me. I have gone to one meet and greet years ago and I thought it wasnt private enough. I was thinking about going to this next one but now I know I will not be.

I know I can't trust anyone but myself, but I would hope that in such matters as a simple party, that people running it, throwing it or handling the list of invites would have some common sense.

And I really don't understand why any provider in her right mind would be discussing herself with reporters. Especially being we are in an election year!

Damn....damn.....

Sometimes there aren't any words to describe.....

Damn.....

Its always about the money - some professions are only in it for the money not the people.

I hate to chime in but I feel its time to chime if I may. When I read this and saw Vad state that he is
still trying to work with evite I stuck my neck out and it was probably not well appreciated and I
sent STEP BY STEP instructions where to click to email certain guests , how to edit the emails so they cannot be seen and not one THANK YOU !

Only one word applies...uncool!  Since when is the media trustworthy?  Since when is it cool to release any info to them without our knowledge or consent?  

Allowing someone from the media or academia to attend incognito is one thing.  Sharing your mailing list, with the knowledge that he/they would be contacting us unsolicited, has crossed the line into indiscretion.  Not cool!

Needless to say, I would not attend any future parties that you are hosting.  Neither will anyone else, hobbyist or provider, that puts a premium on discretion, privacy, and safety.

WHY would anybody trust Vadhaman/ The Kid?  A  big mouth woman in an old man's body?  The guy is scary on every level.  

Wow... I've never been to a mixer although I've always wanted to go (and have future plans to go), but now.... no freaking way!!  The next logical step from "private interviews" by a media member is someone sneaking into the party with a hidden video camera.  It's coming folks, you can bet your ass on it!!  I'm not sure how to prevent it or if Mixers can ever be trusted again.  

thanks for ruining a good thing Vad.... your a piece of shit!

Bussman2430

I did was send vandam a pm. I then did my research on Wolfe. Yes I saw his picture and everything else. Still not happy. LE can pose as anything they want, just like an informant. I then posted my question of "who else got an email that was at the NY M&G" on the providers board. I was very much concerned. Then I came to the ny board and saw someone else mention an email. I responded I got one too.

The Ny m&g's were always fun, but I was ALWAYS nervous going to them but I loved meeting the other women. I was always cautious when and IF I spoke to gentlemen at these things because I don't know the person who threw the m&g and I didn't screen anyone I spoke to. So, business was NEVER discussed and I felt better about that. Thought, ok, I'm good.

Had I known a reporter was going to be there, I would NEVER have attended. I know I am not the only one that feels this way, even before reading all of this. I always thought this forum was a great place to have discussions of any kind, but was also fantastic to have talks about this hobby. I felt I could say anything on this board and its cool. Being told not to talk about this in an open forum is stupid, but bringing a reporter to a M&G is smart..don't think so..

I do believe the outcome will be that the m&g's in New York will be but to a halt. I wonder if anyone else from other states are reading what happened in ny and having second thoughts about attending or even throwing them.

I don't think anyone here is wrong about being upset. The whole idea about the screening for m&g's is to make sure no one gets in that has an ulterior motive. Well, that thought went out the window with his sole knowledge of a reporter being invited and knowing he would be writing an article.

who is to say he still won't write the article and descrbe the people there. YISH!

Question:

Did vandam know he was going to contact individuals to get information about the hobby.
That's what I want to know. I doubt he will ever admit to it.

The other question I have is, why did this guy who is supposedly on TER not post an apology for contacting individuals..How he got his email list was shady to say the least. If someone does one shady thing, trust me they will do another..

You gave out information to someone in the media....ARE YOU CRAZY?????  With the promise that he would not mention names, please stay away from hosting any more mixers or anything else for the matter......

I have to say, once again, the NY board is so much more interesting than the NJ board! Where else would you get this kind of drama? I actually thought this was all a joke until I kept reading the thread - and then there was sheer disbelief that this had happened! Now I'm not even sure what to say. As many of you have already said, this is major. I guess that's the end of the M&Gs in the tri state area.

I too have always been wary of mixers and now I know for good reason. The potential consequences of this unconscionable breach far transcend just those in attendance. This hobby is predicated on discretion so any publicity has a chilling effect on the entire market. The only thing worse than the host's cosmic stupidity, is the unbridled arrogance displayed in his one and only response to this debacle.  He has elevated the reckless to the reprehensible. Those without shame truly have no soul.

The reporter should not have been allowed to go, whether he had access to the email list or not. If the reporter does write his article, it seems more than likely that the secret hooker/hobbyist party he attended would garner at least a mention. How would it affect future M&G's if one of those parties is described in a major magazine? It seems an unwise move...LE has always been a concern, and media attention does not exactly scare them off...quite the opposite...

I understand that this hobby isn't a secret...that anybody can read the boards, that any reporter has probably overcome greater challenges than assuming a hobbyist (or escort) persona and gaining access to this community. However, I'd be willing to bet that not one person who attended would like to see this world, and especially the NY hobby scene, on anybody's coffee table. I personally, would not respond to anybody who found my site and asked me to discuss my life as Carly, even under condition of anonymity. No way!! Discretion is the name of the game...there is no *good* reason to share details of this way of life with anybody but fellow clients and escorts. And sometimes, not even with them.

Even if the aim is to portray the hobby in a better light to the world...good luck with that. The Love Goddess's hobby-sympathetic study was not exactly well-received by her peers. To try to use the media (who panders to public opinion) to explain the same thing would almost certainly backfire.

But most importantly, the credo of M&G's has always been to keep things on the DL. Why actually court the media? Why would the reporter have gone, if not to get material for an article (and why even trust him, when he says he will use no names/handles in his article)?

Nonetheless, is there an appropriate punishment for Vadhaman, beyond banning permanently?

So, Vadhaman, I have to wonder if LE flipped you. It's the only logical explanation, as no one in your position as M&G host could be that irresponsible or stupid.

behavior of the coordinator of this party and those that prior to the party spoke to this person.

I almost came to my first NY meet and greet ---which was this particular party.  I am saddened I missed it but now I know the reason why!!!  

I have helped co-host 2 parties in the Orlando area and the screened was heavy!!!  The behavior of Vad was absolutely out of line.  I don't care what he says but he put OTHERS in possible harms way. When you coordinate a party your #1 priority is safety. He clearly doesn't know what this means.

I agree totally he should remove himself from TER and from ever hosting any future parties, if not banned from TER. Nothing he can say to me or anyone else will "ever " get him on the good side of the folks here ever again.

Again...I am truly saddened and honestly ticked off at this. I just hope New York can recover from this as I want to come to a party!!!

Makenzie

Now everyone knows why I haven't trusted this guy since his 1st "M&G" 3 years when he wanted to "personally" screen me. I haven't given this guy 1 fucking cent of my money and I'm glad I never did. Who knows how many "undercovers" have been at his parties over the past 3 years? I also wonder if any "undercovers" had his pool party shut down last summer?

ANY provider would give a story to a reporter? What is the incentive for her? Was she paid? Probably not.
Very sad to even consider asking any one person if they would give a story. Has the reporter been such a straight up reporter that he never paid for play? Hmmm....

Anyone who spoke to the guy would have assumed he was another hobbyist and had been screened as such.  Until they were contacted by him afterwards, because the reporter also was able to get their email addresses because of the host's carelessness.  These are the basic problems with what happened.

The reporter has his story now. The reaction alone should be good for 3,000 words.

At best, the reporter/academic is legit and would rather go to prison then reveal his sources to LE. Ha.
At worst, the M&G host is compromised and cooperating with LE to gather evidence on all participants.

Either way, you attend M&Gs at your own risk or reward. Enjoy.

Makes you wonder who really "asked" him to host the M&Gs.

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=2&SortBy=DateCreated%20desc&SearchType=1&Author=vadhaman&DayFrom=300&DayTo=0&MessageID=195118&frmSearch=1#195118

What's to stop Vad from creating a new TER account, submitting some reviews and then trying to host a M & G as a "new host".  It really does make going to anything but really "Private" M & Gs something you have to think about.  Even thanking Octavia on this board is something you may not want to do in the future.

Vad really is a top level douche!!!!

This earlier post by V is even more apropos. In it, he states how he will not give out the "special" email address as to "keep everyone safe" and for "security precautions".

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=195168&boardID=2&page=#195168

I'm trying hard not to snicker. I'm sorry. I snickered. Ha.

......and THAT is the issue! some of the ladies at that M&G might have already unknowingly given their "story" to this guy! He, being the reporter that he is/should be, found the email group list and said "hey, maybe I can get MORE material for my story!" and sends his own emails, individually of course (he's not as lazy as the host, apparently) to all the ladies he DIDNT get a chance to talk to/see.

I've never attended a M&G myself but came very close to attending the one in LA a few months ago. I'm sure most hosts aren't as careless as this guy but after reading every single reply/post on this thread, I no longer want to attend a M&G...EVER.

I can't imagine why this guy thought it would be ok to give a reporter, of all people, insight to something we work so hard to protect. And for what? Was he hoping to be quoted by this reporter?  Did he not think this through at all????? Like LE won't read this article in this alleged NY magazine? If there is, in fact, such a magazine at all? What's next? A reporter asking to come along on our dates?

I'm gonna go back to being speechless now.

Took the words right out of my mouth.How does anyone know this supposed reporter did not have a hidden camera on him?Most of us at one time or another has seen Dateline NBC some of these episodes show the reporter with hidden cameras to get the story.This is such a breach of privacy and the organizer of this meet and greet is dumb as a bucket of rocks if he thinks people would be okay with this.
This is the very reason why I do not attend these type of functions you just never know if everyone is there is legit.

You had a fucking obligation to let everyone know upfront

This is beyond stupid!

You broke the cardinal rule of TRUST!

He contacted people without my knowledge and consent. He has apologized and reassured me that nothing will pe published that identifies anyone or mentions anything illegal.
He has DELETED everything so even if he is contacted and notwithstanding N.Y.'s very strict Shield Law, he has nothing to turn over.
I have cancelled the Pool Party and am PERMANENTLY retired from any and all hosting.

In spite of your questionable judgment and transgressions, I find your mea culpa very professional. One of the Atlanta M&G hosts (past) could learn a thing or 2 from your professional actions.

Not true. Get your facts straight. The truth is bad enough afaic or "good enough" for your purposes.
No need to embellish with fabulist nonsense.

And what have you done about the server that holds the information, names, ISP's etc for 10 years and is not protected by the shield law.  A simple judicial subp is all that is needed to get the information from the server.

So deleting the information from the reporters computer, which no matter how you scrub your hard drive its always there.  Deletes only if and when you fully replce your hard drive in full and burn your old HD.

The server is the tombstone with the information engraved into ts memory for 10 full year.

Start sweating attendees.  You al have been outed by a very stupid, careless host.  Now lets all guess, was he paid by the "reporter" for the names or is he really just that plain stupid?

I say a combo of both, stupid and greedy.  Lets not forget lazy and cheap where he could have hired someone to show him, fix any tech glitch to have every name BCC'd.  He chose none of the above.  Any college student for $50 would have instructed and/or completed the assignment for him.

Lets ask, who is attending any M&G ever again or dealing with any agency ever again, since they can do the exact same thing.

Lots of juicy info.. A reporter would never throw all that away. But he may tell his buddy to say he deleted it. I think they don't expect there to be intelligent people here. Hard to imagine that some people here may also be too clever to be fooled

In all seriousness, I would not be surprised if the reporter was equipped with a pinhole cam. At the very least, the reporter was most likely wired and recording the M&G guests' conversations during the party.

If I were you (the guests at the M&G in question), I would be VERY afraid of what was allowed to happen.

Yes, there are bigger "fish" to fry. But an aspiring reporter has to start SOMEWHERE. What better place for a reporter to start with than the local NYC M&G?

I read your reviews and saw a few of your pictures...  Very nice pictures although hard to really get a feel, but some great reviews. Seems like ou are a wonderful fun and sexy women.  Any chance you get to NYC?   Or do I have to find a reason to go to Chicago?   Thanks!