Have you ever hosted ? Of course not.
Have you ever had to eat hundreds or even a grand or more because people who promised and swore they would be there failed to show ? Let's get REAL.
Just how do you think it works with a facility that can host a Mixer ? That they take it on faith that X number of people will show up ? NO ! Somebody; in this case ME ! has to guarantee them a specific number of people and a specific dollar figure. Just how do you suggest I go about figuring out how many GUYS ( the ones who bring the envelopes with the money inside ) will actually show up ?
Yes. I am taking a tough tone and I am making my position crystal clear. I did NOT want this. I did NOT ask for it. Quite the converse. I was ASKED to do it. I weakened and agreed to do it.
What I am NOT going to put up with is the usual casual attitude about showing up that was on display at the last two Mixers. I don't want to have to deal with it. I am doing my best to avoid or at least minimize the usual nonsense. Maybe Dale Carnegie would not approve. So what ?
I am making it EASY. If you don't want to be on the hook or get on any lists, make SURE you can make it BEFORE sending in that e-mail. What could be simpler or easier ?
Please READ the following. If in doubt please RE-Read it. If necessary , send me a PM for any clarification still required.
1. I have been asked to host by a LOT of people. While reluctant at first, I have weakened and am willing to do it.
2. I have selected a date in early Spring 2012.
3. Ladies will be admitted FREE as always.
4. Prior attendess at my parties, TBM's mixers , Octavia's parties and the like are good to go.
5. I have set up a special e-mail address. In due course you may PM me for same. ALL party info will go out via E-MAIL ONLY. Do NOT start PM'ing me yet. i will post and let you know when. there is one exception noted below in "7".
6. Two beautiful, super-hot ladies have volunterred to be my co-hostesses. I will announce them in due course when I post the Guest List of ladies planning to join us. If a lady wishes to attend but would rather NOT be listed, we can handle that. Just tell me.
7. I need some help getting a location. We need a large party room or party loft that can comfortably accomodate AT LEAST 100 people. It MUST have a fully stocked bar and serve food.
Whoever gets me a lead that works out will be COMPED. Do NOT Post your suggestions. PM ONLY Please ! Give me a location and the name and phone number of who to talk to via PM ONLY ! Mid-Town to Downtown work best. Forget about outer boroughs or north of CPS.
I hope to make it to the sausage-fest this time. lol! Will wait for details.
Like LOADS of FUN, Fun, Fun.... 
I have already PM'd Beatpoet and asked him to keep a certain poster and his rotten sausages OUT of my party threads. TBM never had to put up with that kind of garbage and neither should I.
If he wants to start his own threads , post his ravings and put his lack of class on display, that is fine afaic.
Just a Mixer. Unlike some of my other parties there will NOT be any on-site... um ...er "performance art" or "philosophical discussions".
In short, we will not have any "No-Shows".
None that ever hope to come to any future events.
I'm serious.
I am working in getting a nicer place with better food than past events. My ass will be on the line and thus I am going to be ruthless about No-Shows. When you PM me you will get the date and time. Check your calendar BEFORE you e-mail me. I will have to give them a minimum GUARANTEED number of guests and the budget will be based on how many GUYS have told me they are coming.
LADIES - Arrange your appointments accordingly and if necessary, schedule a sitter well in advance.
GENTLEMEN - Work will not be an acceptable excuse. I won't want to hear it. If you or someone close gets sick or injured, arrange to be wheeled in with a private nurse if needed.
Think BEFORE you send me that e-mail. I know I am being tough, and maybe even insensitive, but I have to be under the circumstances.
I agree. I hate the E-vite option of "Maybe". We don't need to know that you MAY be there.
That's right. The ONLY E-mails I want to get are from DEFINITES = you are coming regardless of fire, flood, illness, earthquake, riot or terrorist attack= you'll be there even if we have an outbreak of Yellow Fever or The Plague. Get it ?
If you are "doubtful" , "questionable " or even "probable", please do not send in an e-mail. After you have sent an e-mail do NOT bother sending another changing your mind or putting forth an excuse.
WAIT until you are sure. I will be accepting e-mails from VERIFIED people up to about Midnight of the day before the MIXER. I will be taking attendance and keeping track of the "No-Shows".
Why am I being such a hard-ass ? Because TBM got burned at the last two Mixers. Mostly by the guys . I'VE been lenient in the past. Mostly I could afford to be based on arrangements I made with the host facility. NOT THIS TIME. The only possible way off the "Shit -List" will be to pay up. That's right. Male No-Shows who want to be invited to future events will be expected to pay their door fee.
I cannot afford to subsidize the vagaries of other people and I won't do it. Sorry.
Your nastiness, "shit list", tone, lack of class, and threats show why you are ill suited to host any party in NYC or elsewhere. Ever hear of a book called --- How to Win Friends, and Influence People? No, of course not.
I'll answer that for Vadhaman. The last two parties were poorly attended, especially the last. (Were you there?) This despite the fact that everyone said they were coming, couldn't wait, etc. Suddenly there's "I have to work" excuses and worse, no cancellations, no show, nothing. How is anyone supposed to stick his neck out for this? If a girl did this to you, you would be complaining right on this board. Vadhaman has every right to say what he's saying. TBM had his fill of this. Be glad somebody is stepping up. As I've said before, this is NEW YORK! We should be having world class vents.
Have you ever hosted ? Of course not.
Have you ever had to eat hundreds or even a grand or more because people who promised and swore they would be there failed to show ? Let's get REAL.
Just how do you think it works with a facility that can host a Mixer ? That they take it on faith that X number of people will show up ? NO ! Somebody; in this case ME ! has to guarantee them a specific number of people and a specific dollar figure. Just how do you suggest I go about figuring out how many GUYS ( the ones who bring the envelopes with the money inside ) will actually show up ?
Yes. I am taking a tough tone and I am making my position crystal clear. I did NOT want this. I did NOT ask for it. Quite the converse. I was ASKED to do it. I weakened and agreed to do it.
What I am NOT going to put up with is the usual casual attitude about showing up that was on display at the last two Mixers. I don't want to have to deal with it. I am doing my best to avoid or at least minimize the usual nonsense. Maybe Dale Carnegie would not approve. So what ?
I am making it EASY. If you don't want to be on the hook or get on any lists, make SURE you can make it BEFORE sending in that e-mail. What could be simpler or easier ?
Do what "burned" providers do to curb NCNS or last minute cancelations from clients who are not respectful of their time.
Ask the confirmed guests to send you a Greendot money card (reload cards are everywhere for sale).
Make sure the amount is enough to cover the basic expenses of the party and explain that is not refundable.
That will zap the flops & flakes (they never like to pay in advance for anything).
I thought of that but it has never been necessary to go that route. I prefer to make things as clear as possible beforehand. I KNOW who most of the chronic "no-shows " are. They will have every chance to turn over a new leaf and become reliable. If not, they can forget about future events or send me their door fee AFTER the Mixer in the manner I will prescribe.
Well done for being so forthright Vadhaman - nothing beats being up front about expectations and as we are not teenagers we can't cry foul after the fact for not really understanding when the bs excuses trawl in - its easy to shoot the messenger so good for you in standing by your requirements - then again I'm British so used to telling and having it told like it is
You may start PM'ing me now for the date.
wondering when special email address will be posted for those without vip status and so can't pm you.
c
-- Modified on 12/21/2011 10:59:38 PM
If you cannot PM me you will have to go through a provider or someone else who can.
There is NO WAY I am ever going to post the special e-mail. My "stalker" causes enough mischief without that info.
Get the date and e-mail from someone who can PM me.
well i guess that nixes those who don't want to carry vip status. many of the providers here use the pm for contact as well. guess this may also keep numbers down at the mixer. in any case best of luck looks like my mixer days are over.
c
You don't know anyone who can PM ? Nobody ?
I'm sorry but I am NOT going to post the e-mail. Inter alia, it creates an extra layer for the safety and comfort of all. Look at all the guff I get from those brave anonymous posters as it is. And I'm supposed to give THEM the e-mail too ? Nothing doing.
Btw, nobody is going to be held to account for just sending me a PM and getting the date. NOBODY ! It is the e-mail that should be used with discretion. E-mails denoting DEFINITE status can be sent as late as the day before the Mixer. The location and instructions will ONLY be given out via e-mail the day before the party. Maybe the "morning of " for a few "late arrivals".
Contrary to one of the silly rumors started by one of those brave , manly, anonymous posters, it will be OPEN BAR !
I will post a preliminary Guest List of ladies who are joining us in the Meet & Greet Section next month. I will periodically update same every week or so.
not saying you should post the email if you're not comfortable doing that. you're putting the mixer together and should do so as you seem fit. and i should choose to follow my way of involvement with the hobby, which means i don't keep contact info of ladies after seeing them and i don't continue correspondence with them other than for appointments. and reading all this stalking stuff maybe my approach has proven the wiser because i've never encountered any problems as such. but as i said best of luck to you and the mixer- sincerely. life changes and people move on, guess it's time i did so with attending nyc mixers.
c
Some some nice people plese pm me a few places to stay in the Manhattan area.