She was living next to that nuclear power plant that melted down in Japan

I'm remarkably tolerant of such things. My first thought, before I looked, was "I should tell her to check out those pictures of Ali McGraw; now SHE had some remarkable nipples."  

Then I actually looked at the video. Please forget I ever said anything about Ali McGraw and her pencil-eraser nipples.  

First thought: they look like those levers you use to drain a bathtub.  

Second thought: could that be a breast implant operation gone horribly wrong?

Third thought (upon the closeups of the nipples): Good God, it looks like she's got two Alien Chestbursters just about to break free!

Fourth thought (when she starts cupping and squeezing them): Holy crap, they look like turkey drumsticks!

Fifth thought (when she starts licking them): THEY LOOK LIKE SCROTUMS! MY EYES! GET ME THE BLEACH!

Crimson, for a long time I've been a distant admirer of yours. But after this...  

the horror... the horror...

... they were on a cow!

To see her clit!