and I am going to see a porn star(but I wont tell you who),I am going to buy a virgin for 50,000, I am gonna screw five girls at once,piss off a bridge, masterbate all the time, get a bj from madison,find a educated and hot black girl,russian some implants, try the gay thang, fuck a goat(ohh wait thats not normal just what guys in my hometown did)so that I will pass on,have anal sex,go to thailand even though i am not attracted to the average thai girl,go to a mexican strip club where any girl can and will go home with me,visit south america and russia.....and the things I would really do if I had a penis I wouldnt dare tell you cause it might just shock you!  cheers! WE really do think like yall sometimes but you wouldnt know it with our sweet faces!

You forgot to mention writing your name in the snow.

Congrats on your tool, Catherine.  I assume it is a strap on?  If you had a real hunk of man-meat, you would have bragged about the size! lol

Planning on adding some new services to your portfolio of offerings?

Cheers!

ScrimmDaddy

Ya well its not all rosy, what about catching it in your zipper, do you zip up or down? and with the morning wood your cat thinks its a place to try and sharpen its claws.

can we share a girl together? can you give couples tune ups with your new hardware?
:0

You had such a bad case of penis envy.
I'd let you borrow mine but it has an asshole attached.

And I am a force to be reckend with.  I am at least a good and proud 9 inches.  I will pound every hot blonde provider that is around.  I will get russian from Catherine.  I will stick it in each and every hole I find. lol  I will still stay away from the GREEK.  I will also screw a virgin and see if there really is a difference.  I will get sucked each and every day by myself since I will remain flexible and I want to know just how good I am......lol And I will have masterbation sessions with Catherine to see who can shoot there load the farthest!!

Don't forget the embarassment of fantasizing about the woman across the table only to realize you have to stand up while your pants look like a circus tent.  Don't women realize that these darned things have a mind of their own!  LOL

but if there is a strap on involved somewhere......hmmm....moves a couple spots up on "Hopefully, somehow, someday, want to really meet" provider list

Now that you are so well endowed, you must make a point of converting to Islam before you pass away. That way, you'll be able to use that nasty thing on 72 virgins in the afterlife. BTW, what do you suppose the 72 virgins must feel like when they get to heaven only to find out tha they must spend eternity servicing some Jihad fanatic?

How do you think Jihad Joe will feel when he has to listen to 72 former virgins for eternity, especially when they all have PMS?

Cathrine, now you've done it! This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read. You do have a creative mind.