........who's 'that guy'?

.......I'll tell you who that guy is, for he is one who is dreaded by women everywhere

There i will be, out and about doing everyday things, tra la la fiddle dee dee and what have you. Maybe i'm with my homegirls at a baby shower, or on a civie date, who knows? But any way you slice it, I'm nonetheless unprepared for the horror to come, when suddenly, my phone rings! Its a text, who could it be? Is it my best friend with something funny to tell me? Is it an appt? Is it my granny telling me about her 'nifty' new shoes? I open the text and its.........


a dick pic.

There you are, I think you're grinning proudly like a possum eating shit, but i really can't tell because one hand is gingerly angling the camera in persuit of maximizing the amount of johnson in the frame and the other has a death grip on a very forlorn and abused looking penis that looks as though if it were able to talk, it would scream for help, and all this followed by some ludacrously cocky (no pun intended) rhetorical question like 'You wanna come take a ride on this baby?' ......I turn bright red and shut my phone embrassed as all hell as I'm sheepishly looking around to see if anyone standing nearby witnessed the horror, and my homegirls all like "OMG girl what happened are you ok? Who was it?"

it was the dick pic guy, thats who the fuck it was. You know who u are, guilty parties out there.....i'm here to tell you, never in my life have i seen a scenario where a girl says "You know i really had my doubts about what type of guy Ricardo was until he sent me a dick pic, and now i'm reconsidering the whole thing. That shaft made me realize how much he cares" Nope. never. not once

Listen fellas, the dick pic is a total deal breaker, most women hate em. If you want our attention, if you must, send a pic of your face , smiling naturally mind you, not the retarded lookin pursed lips with one eyebrow up douchey pirate smile. And if your hideously ugly, just send a pic of your wallet bursting with cash and a tagline that says something like "Hi Mae....i think someone as beautiful as you deserves a shopping spree today!" and just watch my face light up! I can't wait to call you back!

Just please, PLEASE, don't be the dick pic guy.


thank you.

OMG girl you are sooooooo funny! You really have talent as a writer, I LOVE reading your posts! LMAO!!!

You've got some good wit and storytelling there. Have you ever tried writing or submitting those romantica/erotica ebook stories? There's a big business with all those ebook sites out there even though it may be over-saturated with writers now.

alright you 3 i got gems of wisdom for each of ya

1, needledick- if you've become preoccupied with guy buttholes, you're problem may be a lot deeper than just receiving dick pics. ...call The Weather Girls honey, cuz its raining men! and apparantly pics of their buttholes? knock yourself out baby. ur here, ur queer, get over it.

2. if our congressman spells the word 'bored' with an 'a', then thats all the explaination i need....on a lot of shit

3. thanks eve, i was gonna be a writer, big dreams and all, but then i discovered adults have no attention spans and don't read anymore so now i'm just a h**ker

cheers!

I think the guy that sent you a pic of his dick is a complete fucking.... jackass!!!!!!

1.  What in the world would compell someone to send a pic of his ugly DICK.
2.  I wouldn't even do that for my wife (if I had one) or a GF (if I had one).  I would just send a text say something naughty like 'I can't wait to feel your lips touch mine tonight".
3.  Once you send it...there is NO going back.  It cold be posted on Youtube, online somehere.....etc.

Queenbee-  I would send that pic to some website and make sure everyone see's this guys small, ugly, disfunactional cock.   Now that would be funny

I'd no more think of sending you a pic of my starfish then I would of sending you a pic of my unprolific boyhood.

Now I might send a weenie pic to Eve if I could figure out how to use a high powered lense so she could see it.

She likes a good joke!

NDtBF

BTW, Weather Channel chicks are amatuers. Maria Quiban is the real deal!

great post queen, laughing my ass off, why cant guys just be gentleman, thats just one of the many things the ladies ask for.

Bug fucker- I know it was a joke silly, just givin you a hard time, as its rumored that I may have a sense of humor, and/or sat next to someone on the bus who has a sense of humor and took notes. So swing that lil bug fucker my way and give me a hard time if ya want......I have no doubt it'll be the most memorable 5 minutes of our lives, followed by hours of crying and explainations........I'm so ready!

FIDCOUF if compiled the number of dick pics I've received in the past year alone, I swear I could release a coffee table book.  I would then call that book Phoney Baloney- A Dick Pic Manifesto

Socal- I can write just about everything, I wona few awards and two scholarships for my writing in high school but never recognized my own talent till I started blogging on sites like this and started getting letters from people about things I wrote that were either struck a chord with folks or they found it really funny, depending on the subject at hand. As for erotica? Myeh....why write about it when I can do it so much better in person. More show and less tell!  

You tell em girl

Some guys are still sending pictures to the ladies.

NDTBF still making humorous comments.

All we need to complete the circle is guys showing up in chat with handles like MR 9 inches, Mr 10 inches, etc.


Some things never seem to change!

do this ? I am a very straight guy and this post disturbs me on a level that is hard to explain... sure I've seen these pics before - but in a different time and place - TER is about guys that love women and women that love to play with us - not this sick shit - I really get what Mae is saying - hide in your cowardice alias.

I knew I could count on you!

Would ya like it in 8x10 glossy as usual?

NDtBF