For those of you who have gone this route, what has your experience been?  

but in bits and pieces.  I don't recall a thread where more than one or two of your questions were answered.  Its a very complicated subject and before I venture any answers, I have a few questions for you:

Thanks for the response, CDL!  

there are too many variables.  i have dated 4 long term and taken at least 10 others on random dates.  

The most important question you brought up is about dealing with what they do for a living.  This is why OTC dating is not for everyone.  Before I go there, let me just mention there are two kinds of Kgirl dating, what I call "fake GF's" and "real GF's".  Many guys mistake customer thank-you dates as the start of a relationship.  Most outside dating falls into this category, and its not limited to Kgirls.  Many American providers have admitted on the GD board that they routinely give OTC time to their best/regular customers.  She may make you feel like her boyfriend, but you're not because she has no emotional investment in you.  It was a business decision to go out with you.  Its rare for a married guy to get anything other than a thank-you date from a Kgirl.  You have seen them multiple times and they will go out to dinner or a movie with you to thank you for being a loyal customer.  

No offense intended to all my hobby bros dating or married to khos but they are nuts.

You describe very undesirable experiences. So you were married, and encountered two girls who had attachment issues.  

Distilling Kgirl dating into those three buckets make a lot of since. (i.e., Thank-you dates, Agenda-driven dates, Companionship dates).

Also, what is your perspective on the segmentation of Kgirls?

I’ve dated a few I’m my lifetime and it’s just not worth it. Enjoy the hour of fantasy and walk away. Why date one and have the drama you want to get away from?
  They’re nice girls but they usually have some baggage. One that I dated was great at first but then got so clingy and needy and would get jealous, which was ironic considering her line of work.
  It’s cool to have fun in the room and have them tell you they love you and call you their boyfriend and then walking away after the hour. And staying friends!  
   Good luck if you choose to date though!

Eom

One of your points per paragraph . . . .

Very solid advice!  

I'm in my late 50's, so I won't even consider a girl for outside dating anymore who is younger than 35, and I really prefer between 40 and 50, providing they have kept themselves in good physical shape, as I have.  There is no shortage of girls in this age range but they are much more careful about getting involved than the younger ones who have less experience with real-live relationships.  In the beginning, I dated some younger girls and found that, while they are sophisticated when its showtime at the incall, they were very immature in real life.  A booker I have know since the beginning of my Kgirl journey who I respect immensely, told me back then when I was considering dating a Kgirl, "They are not the same on the outside."  Nothing has proven to be more true.  They are ALL different outside from what you see at the incall.  However, most are different in a worse way, and a much lesser number in a good way.  This is why its one-and-done on many outside dates.  

Haha...the direct question about your finances. I've had civvie Korean girls ask the same thing, and yes I've taken it more as a hint of their pragmatism, rather than confirmation of their status as a gold-digger.

I'm ~ 20 years younger than you, so 35+ would be unlikely in my case. I think I may have visited with only one veteran K-girl who advertises as early 20's, and she's certainly passable, but her mature demeanor suggests otherwise.  

and reaching an understanding on some potential problem areas in the beginning will clarify things for both of you and save yourselves some drama down the road.  The very moment a girl says she wants to see me as an outside boyfriend, I ask her if she is going to be jealous if I see other girls.  The younger girls say they don't want to share you with anyone else, and if you see someone else, they will be very angry.  When this happens, walk away.  Part of the reason we have is hobby is we all like a little variety.  

By "worse way" not only clingy and jealous, but self-centered and many suffer from GPS.  When you have a parade of guys putting you on a pedestal every day, it stands to reason that many get an inflated self-image which brings out many negative personality traits that you wouldn't tolerate in a civvie relationship.  The success I have had is largely due to the fact that I DON'T put them on a pedestal and instead treat them like I would the GND that I might go out with once in awhile.  I rarely compliment them on their looks unless it appears they have gone to some trouble to make themselves look especially nice (hair, makeup, clothing) for an outside date with me.  Fawning over them generally just plays into their thought that you can be hustled or manipulated, but most guys, especially the young ones, can't help themselves because they don't believe they could ever date a girl this hot in the civvie world.  I have when I was younger, just not lately, so I am never in awe of their beauty and convey that in my attitude.  If you act like YOU'RE the lucky one, they won't treat you very well.  

Your makeup comment is rather interesting. I have one girl that I regularly see and we almost always go out after our sessions. She takes off ALL of her makeup before we head out and I assumed it was to help keep her from getting recognized on the outside. IME, all the civie girls (asian and not) that I have dated in real life always put a good chunk of their face on before heading out in public.

Kgirls like to give their face a rest on their day off from the layers of crud they wear while working, but I have found that if they go out with you on a date with zero makeup, they regard you more as a friend than a romantic interest.  Sometimes things start out as friends/companions and morph into a romantic relationship, and one of the ways you can tell her interest in you might be changing is if she suddenly starts putting on a little lip gloss or eye shadow for your dates after having gone without on prior dates.  

A lot of K-girls will go out on their first date with you looking their worst as a test to see if you are interested in them, or just looking for a freebie. I have started many an LTR with a "Friends first" date. Obviously saying "always" or "never" will usually get you in trouble, but if the girl is the one pushing for dates that entail you spending a lot of money, the more likely she is to be looking to "snag a rich guy" and the less likely she is to actually have any real interest in you.  That doesn't mean cheap out on the date, no woman likes a cheap skate, or a broke dick, but if she let's it be "your idea" your chances of being with a "money grubbing ho" go down considerably.

you got me going back memory lane.  and in doing so, i realize the numbers are much higher than what i originally estimated.  

Keep in mind these girls hear how beautiful, sexy, smart (even if they don't speak English) all day, every day by literally hundreds of different guys, Many of them taller, younger, richer, more handsome and with bigger dicks than you. CDL is absolutely correct, if you are a suck-up all you will ever be is a mark.

of an agenda-driven date.  What a lot of girls don't understand is that, while by the second outside date most young guys are ready to sign over the family farm, older guys like us take awhile to let our guard down, and most of these girls lack the patience to run the long con.   I do the same thing you do.  If I see the hustle coming, I just flip it on them.  They lie through their teeth, but then they believe YOU when you say you'll bring the cash in two weeks, AFTER you're had some more free sex.  Lol      I've told many girls that I'm a generous guy as long as they don't try to hustle me, but some just can't help themselves.  Its their way of life, we're all just marks  to the hustler types.  Go figure.  

Kgirls' approach to evaluating interest level via "de-beautifying" is a bit surprising. I say this, because through prior experience, you would already know she's a dynamo in the sack, so it seems like it would be easy to dismiss this tactic (even for those who only wanted freebies).

That's an interesting perspective, and I guess becoming overly self-absorbed would make sense.  

Do you know anything about the Kgirl mindset around marriage? (Besides an opportunity for a green card)

So much good and pertinent info on this thread. From my OTC experience, certainly more limited than others here, this advice from taquitoguy is dead on. The 60 minute fantasy is the best its gonna get. Make up perfect, sexy outfit, great and sexy attitude(fake or not), and a hell of a lot cheaper than a 24-48 hr date of fancy restaurants, shopping, and the humiliating "taking her dog for a 5am walk w plastic bag".......
  Also really like CDL's point, "NEVER ask her about her clients/how many today"...lol....near quote maybe

I have had relationships with ALREADY had the normal Korean marriage (and some have children), but it didn't work out, so they turned to hooking to get out of debt and have a fresh start.  They initially claim to have ZERO interest in ever being married again . . . . until the right guy comes along . . . . usually an older Caucasian guy who is financially stable.  Then they are more than willing to fall in love.  Lol

A few A-cup civvie Asian girls when I was younger, I will never be desensitized to a nice set of C-cup upgrades.  The girl who's taking off work today in order to spend the whole weekend with me got hers a few years ago  specifically for this kind of work after her marriage failed  Even though she's only got one year left on her 3-year plan to bank enough for a Starbucks franchise, she plans to keep her tits after keaving the business. She has my complete support on this. Lol

and many of these "Asian Fetish Hobbyists" are still fawning over these women even after having been with hundreds of them.

the getting married by 30 thing is outdated.  they don't think that way any longer.  only the 2nd generation asians in america still have that goal.  the asians that live in big cities (Seoul tokyo shanghai etc..)  area all about money.  the pressure to keep up with high society in those areas are immense and difficult to do.  unless the girls are marrying rich guys, they are only thinking of how to make a lot of money in the shortest amount of time possible.

In my case, my girl would say "You know my work, So please don't make problem" We agreed and she leaves town for two weeks or a month depending on schedule, but here's the kicker. She told me "I know you are a man and you need that release, but no agencies or kgirl in my area. The reason she said "most of these girls are her friends" So i was basically blocked by the bookers and agencies A lot of the veterans in the business are connected as they say "It's a small community"  

So no, I can't remember ever turning down a date with a girl that I continued to see. I have had a few girls that I just didn't find myself "into" that dropped broad hints that they were open to dating, but in those cases I simply left the door open, but never called them back. (honesty is highly overrated in these cases)

spot on.  I also prefer the girl to be the one that escalates things from "regular customer" to outside dating.  As you say, you know its because they are interested in you as a person, or at least curious about what you might be like on the outside, both of these being preliminary motivations on her part on the road to you becoming an outside boyfriend.  On the flipside, some might be surprised by the number of Kgirls who tell me stories about going out with a regular customer who has pestered them about it mercilessly until the girl finally says, "Okay, dude, you win, I'll go out with you"  just to stop the badgering.   Anybody with experience with women knows this is NOT the "win" for the guy that it appears to be, and after the date you will realize your time would have been better spent elsewhere.  From what they tell me, this approach seems to be more within the purview of the younger guys.  

NEVER ask a K-girl more than once for an "outside" date.

Just not hungry at the moment. LOL

isn't it ironic that we hope to seduce her enough to get a date just after fucking as perfect strangers?  

In the non hooker world you get to know each other BEFORE fucking, in the hooker world we get to fuck them first and then decided if we want to get to know them. It does save on wasting all that time "getting to know" a non hooker only to find out she sucks in the sack once you finally get a chance to fuck her.

of most romantic interest in civvie women.  You spend two or three dates getting to know them, and at some point they decide you're worth fucking, but afterward, you realize they WEREN'T worth fucking, plus, you're spending a lot of time flossing the pubic hair out of your teeth.  Now you're in for a lot of drama trying to extricate yourself from the budding relationship, which you would not have started in the first place had you known she was lousy in bed.  Its much easier to manage the social aspect once you know they're good in bed.  In fact, it acts as an incentive to escalate things.  (For both of you if you're good in bed, too.)  I'm at the point now after being the outside boyfriend to several Kgirls that it seems more normal to fuck first and then decide if you want to see them again, rather than vice versa.  Civvie girls are not usually open to that arrangement.  Lol

I will not date a hooker to be honest. It leads to no where and also it is not an ideal partner that you should be thinking of.

dated a few kgirls in my time. its definitely hard in the beginning since its obvious what kind of work they do. i really just go along for the ride, get some dates, even received nice xmas and bday gifts from them. I noticed that just shutting my mind off to their work and just spending quality time with them works best for me. Have fun, although it may be short, just enjoy your time. luckily i havent had a jealous or crazy one yet. i try to setup some kind boundary as well, like not giving up too much info on my work or personal life. longest side relationship ive had is 2 years (still going). shortest relationship i had was just a mere month or so.

It sounds like you are saying you have a current girlfriend who you knew for three weeks, who then returned to Korea, and you are supporting her there with expensive gifts and told her not to come back here to work.  That's how I took it.  What am I missing, or did I understand you correctly?

I only seen her twice at the incall. I didn’t want to spend that much because she got lazy after our second meeting. She gave me a mediocre session, but I can’t complain. However, getting to know her is one of the best things happened to me.  

Hmmm, you only saw her twice, because she got lazy on 3rd-4th time ?? And told her "don't come back to USA", where you live, as you prefer to take care of her from 7000 miles away ?? Now I'm also a little confused. But thats fine. Is your name "Mark" ???

I’m starting to question your ability to read. Jk lol

Just FYI, destroying the goods during the first round makes msog more difficult.

now you lost me again.  I thought you said she was in Korea and you are here.  How is that "ending up together", especially if you told her not to come back here and she agreed not to?"  To me, that sounds like you ended up apart, not together, but you're still supporting her, right?

Man.. do I need to clarify everything ? Lol jk it’s cool.

Had a guy PM about this a couple of days ago. He told me after his first session with a K girl she told him she "felt a connection with him" so he went back a couple of times. He asked her if they could meet outside the room and she told him on her days off she could meet him. He said he would text her and they were supposed to meet but something would always come up and she couldn't make it but "she really missed him". I told him he was getting played, if she really missed him, she'd make the date. What she really missed was the "donation" and gifts he was bringing her. Sometimes you just have to think with the big head of the other one.

God gave man a brain and a penis but only enough blood to run one at a time.

Yes - this hobby definitely has some interesting effects on one's perception of 'normal' coupling behavior.  

You bring up something that I've occasionally wondered about myself.  

to set your own ground rules for the relationship.  Essentially, your agreement says you're okay with her fucking YOUR friends, but she doesn't want you fucking HER friends.  This is not parity in the relationship.  That's why I said its the biggest mistake guys make when getting into a Kgirl real life relationship.  Once you agree to not see any other Kgirls, you can't walk it back without looking like a cheater and destroying the relationship.  You have to talk it through IN THE BEGINNING and get to an even playing field for both of you.  She's a working girl, yet she wants to hold you to the boyfriend standard of faithfulness of a civvie girl, but with no reciprocity.  How is that fair to you?  The "stress" that comes with this is when we don't think things through and wake up one day realizing you made a great deal for her, but not so great for you.  Seek parity in everything about the relationship, and it will last longer.  I, for one, try to not make the same mistakes twice, but still bear a lot of scars associated with my "learning curve."  As I said above, I will not enter a relationship with any limitations on my P4P activities.  The argument is that its just business, not personal, because I'm paying for sex.  I will only agree not to fuck anybody for free.  That is complete parity with what she is doing in her business.  She will commit to only fuck ME for free.  Everyone else pays.  You do this and it can last for a very long time.  

I don’t think these k girls care lol.

you haven't yet been in a deep relationship with one.  The ones that don't care are just playing you for a sucker, so what is there to care about?  A real life Kgirlfriend will get just as jealous as a civvie girlfriend.  That's why you need to set some rules in the beginning.  

until the first year I topped six figures on my hobby budget (2013).  I try to stay under that now, and am doing a pretty good job.  However, I don't count the money I spend on a Kgirl that has become an outside real life girlfriend as part of my hobby budget.  

Wanna share the secret?  

If you are still in your twenties and having sex less than once a day is giving you pain, and causing you to shoot "blanks" at your young age you might want to consider seeing a doctor.

“Pain” is not a word to describe here lol.  

last paragraph.   First two are spot on for me, too.  I do take supplements, but none of the phony dick-growing or -hardening shit.  Just to supplement my nutrition.  I venture to say I get everything out of these supplements that you get out of a bottle of tequila, except the buzz.  Lol

I understand what you are saying. At the beginning,  She worked in my area before i got involved with her. Then one day out shopping and happen to run into a friend, come to find out my old friend happen to be a customer. From that day she didn't work in town anymore, plus i have friends in Cali so she asked their number to block from seeing her. That way we do not have problems between us. So far it's a long stretch with her. I'm not perfect, I'm a man. It hasn't been one sided.

-- Modified on 3/3/2018 6:33:12 PM

that you're saying you see other girls, but you don't tell her about it.  If she finds out, she will accuse you of cheating, and she would be right.  THERE IS NO WAY to change the deal once you have made it, so your only choice is to resort to cheating behind her back and HOPE she doesn't find out.  She will find out eventually, and the relationship will be over.  I often tell new guys, "Never underestimate the power of the Kgirl network."   Any Kgirl that knows your girl will rat you out given the chance.  I agree if you find that you made a bad deal, then you must take the risk if you can't live the deal you made.  I'm for making the right deal in the beginning and then everything is on the table.  When I see a girl that knows my outside Kgirlfriend, she's free to tell my girlfriend.  I don't care.  The only thing my girl will say is, "Did he pay you?"  As long as she says yes, I have kept to the bargain I made.  In the deals I make with new girlfriends, transactional sex is never cheating for EITHER one of us, not just for her in her business.  

She worked at the Hotel Del Rey which was not only where I stayed when in Costa Rica, but it was also where hundreds of other hookers worked.

“Your shackholded and cuckold when you date a KGirl?” To me, the answer is you set yourself up to be locked down by ANY girl who is seeking an exclusive relationship.

She is fucking you for free, yet all her friends are fucking you too, but they are getting PAID. Can't you see how she would NOT be ok with this.