and reaching an understanding on some potential problem areas in the beginning will clarify things for both of you and save yourselves some drama down the road. The very moment a girl says she wants to see me as an outside boyfriend, I ask her if she is going to be jealous if I see other girls. The younger girls say they don't want to share you with anyone else, and if you see someone else, they will be very angry. When this happens, walk away. Part of the reason we have is hobby is we all like a little variety.
An older girl is more pragmatic. The answer that I ALWAYS look for is when she says, "I don't know how I can be jealous while I'm doing this kind of work." THIS is the girl I want for my girlfriend. Some will have to arrive at this point after a little more discussion about it, but when they say they don't want you to see anyone else, then I would say it hardly seems fair that they are seeing other guys and I can't see other girls. They will say the other guys are customers and its just business, to which I will say, its just business for me too, because I'm paying them. So we reach an accommodation where I can see all of the providers I want, but I agree not to have sex with anyone WITHOUT paying them. I rarely do anyway, so its an empty gesture on my part, sort of like giving up cow brains for Lent. The flipside is, I NEVER mention her job of having sex with six guys a day. No jealousy from me, and none from her will make the relationship last much longer. The mistake most guys make in this regard is first agreeing not to see anyone else, and then trying to walk it back later. Can't be done, IMO. As soon as she commits, go over the "terms and conditions" of being her boyfriend.
For those of you who have gone this route, what has your experience been?
What advice would you offer others who are considering this option?
What has been the average duration of such a relationship?
How do you grapple with their work life?
Do you approach such relationships as, "going along for the ride" or do you make a concerted emotional investment?
Obviously, all relationships are different, but taken in aggregate, I'm sure there are some consistent trends about how these relationships evolve/ dissolve over time.
Also, if this topic has been broached in the past, please be gentlemen and point me to the thread.
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but in bits and pieces. I don't recall a thread where more than one or two of your questions were answered. Its a very complicated subject and before I venture any answers, I have a few questions for you:
1. What is your motivation in wanting to date a Kgirl, rather than a civvie Korean girl?
2. What prompted this idea at this particular time? Do you have along-term regular you're considering taking the next step with? Is it your idea or her idea to date on the outside?
How you answer these will determine how I would address your questions.
Thanks for the response, CDL!
I've dated civvie Korean girls (with my most recent partner being one of them). Which initially began as one method of getting over her, in the past 6+ months, I kind of went overboard with seeing Kgirls, with several questioning why I'm even in P4P land (sure, I know why they question this, but don't really want to get into that now).
As for my motivation, my questions are more or less prompted by my general curiosity. I'm quite skeptical of the notion that a healthy relationship is viable under these conditions, but I assume others have experience with this, and I simply want to learn more about how they navigated such instances.
My ATF shut me out because I met with another girl at her agency. I'm seeing another girl, of course equally gorgeous and a lioness in the sack. Recently, we had a moment in the sack where she grew quite vulnerable (details are not necessary).
But again, these inquiries are simply manifestations of my curiosity.
At the very least, having a do's/ don'ts of K-girl dating could be useful for this particular board, so maybe using this thread to untangle these complexities would be of value to others.
there are too many variables. i have dated 4 long term and taken at least 10 others on random dates.
i am asian (citizen), married and in my 30's. i've had 2 latch on to me. 1 went full psycho and tried to get me divorced. she blew up my phone with calls and texts and i had to change my cell number. the other one that latched on was just emotional all the time. the emotional one was very high profile in LA.
most of how your experience goes dating one will depend on who YOU are. be real with yourself and if there are GAPS (age, communication, looks) then why would she want to date you. green card and or money probably. especially if you are in LA, NY or any big city where she can find a kboy pretty easily. what do you offer that interests her?
i'm not saying it cant end well... i have a friend who married one and has 2 kids! i know another kgirl who is pregnant by her client and she is happy about that.
You describe very undesirable experiences. So you were married, and encountered two girls who had attachment issues.
Did the relationships have any substance? Did they confer any benefits beyond what you found in your marriage (beyond sexual variety)?
Also, how did you dissolve the relationships without setting yourself up to be a target of her vengeance? It sounds like with at least one you simply pulled a ghosting act?
you got me going back memory lane. and in doing so, i realize the numbers are much higher than what i originally estimated.
dissolving the relationship is usually not a problem. they rarely stick around in one place for very long and most of the time it just happens on its own, however, i still get texts and kakao messages randomly from at least 25% that i have hung out with. it became a problem for me with 2 of them because i led them on too long. i let it get to that point and it was my fault and i definitely won't let it happen again.
what i've seen is that you'll either marry them right away (lol), or it will turn into a Friends with benefits type of relationship. there are sub categories of both types that aren't so pleasant so be careful.
The most important question you brought up is about dealing with what they do for a living. This is why OTC dating is not for everyone. Before I go there, let me just mention there are two kinds of Kgirl dating, what I call "fake GF's" and "real GF's". Many guys mistake customer thank-you dates as the start of a relationship. Most outside dating falls into this category, and its not limited to Kgirls. Many American providers have admitted on the GD board that they routinely give OTC time to their best/regular customers. She may make you feel like her boyfriend, but you're not because she has no emotional investment in you. It was a business decision to go out with you. Its rare for a married guy to get anything other than a thank-you date from a Kgirl. You have seen them multiple times and they will go out to dinner or a movie with you to thank you for being a loyal customer.
Then there are "agenda-driven" dates. Maybe you're a young, single Korean guy, and she thinks you're a prospect for a green-card marriage, or maybe your parents have money, so she's thinking the "my-mother-needs-an-operation" hustle will work on you, and she will get you to emotionally commit to her before hitting you up for $15-20,000. I can't count the number of PM's I have gotten from young guys asking what to do after they handed over $15,000 in cash to a girl they loved and then she leaves town and changes her phone number. Frankly, not much you can do except feel foolish.
90% of all OTC dates with Kgirls fall into one of these two categories. The other ten percent will be sincere, but not necessarily girlfriend material, where they're just looking for a friend to hang out with (companionship) when they're not working. However, romance takes time and is often elusive in these situations. If you are cool with just being an outside friend, without thought of making her your girlfriend, then you will not be as emotionally invested with her as you will be if you find yourself in the middle of a real romance. I have been out with over a hundred different Kgirls that turned out to be just friendship like this, and still have many rewarding long-term friendships with these girls.
When you come to the point that you ARE emotionally invested and you think of her as YOUR girlfriend, the first hurdle is dealing with what she does for a living. Most guys can't handle it. They get jealous, and don't like the idea of THEIR girl being with another guy. This is kryptonite for the relationship. Once you tell her you can't deal with how she makes her money, you leave her no choice but to dump you. The guys that most often get into this situation are young, inexperienced with women in general, have never been married, and think the fantasy they are paying her for at the incall is real because "she really likes me." These girls are professional entertainers and actresses. They perform just like a movie actress, creating a convincing "scene" for the paying customers. I have no problem separating fantasy from reality, so I have no issue with what they do for a living.
So I will stop here and say that if you are confident that you can handle this aspect, i.e., your girlfriend having six other dicks in her mouth each day, spitting out their loads, riding their hard dick with a condom on (or in some cases, not), and she DFK's guys the same way she kisses you, then moving up to girlfriend status with a working girl might work for you. I've known a lot of guys that crashed and burned over their own jealousy. If you think you can deal with this, I will go on to your other questions, but this aspect is a deal-breaker if you can't get past it.
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-- Modified on 2/22/2018 3:34:07 PM
Distilling Kgirl dating into those three buckets make a lot of since. (i.e., Thank-you dates, Agenda-driven dates, Companionship dates).
Obviously, you have a lot of experience in this domain, so I assume you can, with a fair amount of accuracy, identify what the girls intentions are (and which of the categories a date would fall into). What advice would you offer to others to help them discriminate between these three categories?
[mattphillips] brought up a great point about evaluating oneself and what you have to offer, but again, this is a slippery slope, because if you possess several desirable attributes, you could just as easily be targeted as a mark.
The jealously aspect of it is both surprising and unsurprising, especially given that her baseline status = SW.
For the guys who develop jealousy, certainly a natural human response, do you think their foible is in making the miscalculation that their "love" would motivate a Kgirl to leave the trade?
One of your points per paragraph . . . .
If you go out once, then ask for another date, and she puts it off for six eight weeks, then its definitely a thank-you date. It may take some time to determine an agenda date, depending on how good of a hustler she is. But if you apy attention from the very first session to the questions she asks, i.e., if there are a lot that are financial in nature, she may be sizing you up as a mark, and then SHE will be the one to suggest going out on her day off rather than you. However, its not an exact science, because she may also make the first move if she is attracted to you physically or emotionally from the beginning. If she goes out with you without makeup, its most likely a companionship date and she is very comfortable with you as a friend, but romance in the future is still possible. When say without makeup, I mean zero, not even lip gloss. Most girls I have dated wear lip gloss, false eyelashes and a little bit of eye makeup to go out, but nothing approaching the theatrical makeup they wear when working.
Matts a savvy guy and his point is well-taken, although he has a disadvantage in the dating scene being married. Kgirls are rarely open to investing emotionally in a married guy, but I have seen it happen a few times with very good-looking guys their own age. Maybe Matt is one that I heard about. As I mentioned the paragraph above, qualifying you financially is common. At this point, I should mention that you really need at least a six-figure income to even consider attracting a Kgirl to the point of becoming an outside boyfriend. $200,000+ makes it easier. They're not so much golddiggers (some are) as they are practical in their approach to considering someone boyfriend material. Are they going to be able to do fun things with you that might be on the spendy side? Can you take them to the top steakhouses? (Never met a Kgirl that didn't like filet mignon). I have had girls come right out and ask me if I'm rich. My standard answer is, "Those that have less than me might say yes, and those that have more than me might say no." That's all the financial info I will give out, and its not much. However, over time, you can quietly demonstrate financial depth in a number of subtle ways without ever mentioning money. The most effective is repeating often and booking extended sessions. If I see a new girl for one hour, and then I see her two more times within the same week for two hours each session, plus tips, she can do the math, and figure out you're not one of the guys that needs to save up for a month to spend an hour with her. Likewise, the first few outside dates need to be spectacular. I'm not going to say here what my favorites are, because there are Kgirls who read these threads, but you can PM me for suggestions.
With the jealousy, you are correct in how it usually becomes a problem. You have a guy driving a Honda seeing a girl driving a BMW, who makes four or five times in a week what he makes, and he wants HER to quit working and see only him. McDonalds and In-N-Out every night is NOT a Kgirls idea of living high.
Haha...the direct question about your finances. I've had civvie Korean girls ask the same thing, and yes I've taken it more as a hint of their pragmatism, rather than confirmation of their status as a gold-digger.
This is endemic to Korean culture.
Your makeup comment is rather interesting. I have one girl that I regularly see and we almost always go out after our sessions. She takes off ALL of her makeup before we head out and I assumed it was to help keep her from getting recognized on the outside. IME, all the civie girls (asian and not) that I have dated in real life always put a good chunk of their face on before heading out in public.
Kgirls like to give their face a rest on their day off from the layers of crud they wear while working, but I have found that if they go out with you on a date with zero makeup, they regard you more as a friend than a romantic interest. Sometimes things start out as friends/companions and morph into a romantic relationship, and one of the ways you can tell her interest in you might be changing is if she suddenly starts putting on a little lip gloss or eye shadow for your dates after having gone without on prior dates.
A lot of K-girls will go out on their first date with you looking their worst as a test to see if you are interested in them, or just looking for a freebie. I have started many an LTR with a "Friends first" date. Obviously saying "always" or "never" will usually get you in trouble, but if the girl is the one pushing for dates that entail you spending a lot of money, the more likely she is to be looking to "snag a rich guy" and the less likely she is to actually have any real interest in you. That doesn't mean cheap out on the date, no woman likes a cheap skate, or a broke dick, but if she let's it be "your idea" your chances of being with a "money grubbing ho" go down considerably.
And yes, you can't take even this advice for granted. Your advice about the girls asking for "help" in the tens of thousands makes me LMAO remembering one time this happened to me. I started dating this K-girl almost immediately. It was great, I lived walking distance to her incall, and when I booked with her two days in a row, she started inviting me out to eat, we played some golf together, and within just a couple of days I was spending the night with her OTC. It was one of those things that came so easy and so naturally I couldn't believe my good luck.
Well of course life isn't that easy, after less than a week, just as we crawled into bed together, and BEFORE we had sex, she hit me up for $10,000, she asked very nicely of course, it was only supposed to be a "loan", but I knew exactly what was going on. Experienced, (and horny) whore monger that I am, I of course agreed, but I told her that it would have to wait until after I came back from a business trip in a few days. (you don't honestly think I was going to say no and not get laid that night, did you?) She of course smiled and fucked my brains out that night and for the next several days until I actually did go on that business trip, after which I turned the tables on her and ghosted on her. I found out through mutual friends that she went back to Korea (permanently) just a few days later and her ploy was to to get just a bit more "severance money" before retiring. lmao
of an agenda-driven date. What a lot of girls don't understand is that, while by the second outside date most young guys are ready to sign over the family farm, older guys like us take awhile to let our guard down, and most of these girls lack the patience to run the long con. I do the same thing you do. If I see the hustle coming, I just flip it on them. They lie through their teeth, but then they believe YOU when you say you'll bring the cash in two weeks, AFTER you're had some more free sex. Lol I've told many girls that I'm a generous guy as long as they don't try to hustle me, but some just can't help themselves. Its their way of life, we're all just marks to the hustler types. Go figure.
I think we're in agreement that thank-you dates and agenda dates have little potential to ever grow into real life GF status, so it leaves us with the friendship/companion route, which by my estimate above is only about 10% of all Kgirl OTC dating, and see if it morphs into something romantic in real life. Sorting out her motivation is one of the hardest parts of going outside for a date.
Kgirls' approach to evaluating interest level via "de-beautifying" is a bit surprising. I say this, because through prior experience, you would already know she's a dynamo in the sack, so it seems like it would be easy to dismiss this tactic (even for those who only wanted freebies).
Also the "friends" before "lovers" transition can be broadly applied across Korean dating. The whole meeting through overlapping social networks can be a bit of a headache at times, but I understand the practicality of it all.
[GAG] Approximately what percentage of your dates was it the girl who escalated the relationship?
Have you ever declined a date with a girl? What factored into your decisions? How did she react? Did you continue seeing her? Or, did it become awkward?
So no, I can't remember ever turning down a date with a girl that I continued to see. I have had a few girls that I just didn't find myself "into" that dropped broad hints that they were open to dating, but in those cases I simply left the door open, but never called them back. (honesty is highly overrated in these cases)
I would say about half the times it has been the girl who has "escalated" and about half the time it was me. One thing I do to try to keep any awkwardness from occurring if I get my signals crossed, which happens to all of us with women who are as good at acting as K-girls) is to tell them I am interested in seeing them "outside", i give them my phone number, but I tell them they have to call me, not the other way around, this way i know they really are interested and aren't just being "polite" to a paying customer.
Other times it just seems to happen naturally and with no effort, I saw a Chinese girl a couple of days ago, we had a great session, we seemed to have a lot in common, she had just broken up with her controlling Korean BF and at the end of our date she gave me her personal number and asked if I wanted to take her out this coming weekend, simple as that. She is only going to be in town a month or two, nothing serious is being contemplated, I am sure we aren't going to fall in love, but I am equally sure we are going to have a very good time together "while it lasts"
spot on. I also prefer the girl to be the one that escalates things from "regular customer" to outside dating. As you say, you know its because they are interested in you as a person, or at least curious about what you might be like on the outside, both of these being preliminary motivations on her part on the road to you becoming an outside boyfriend. On the flipside, some might be surprised by the number of Kgirls who tell me stories about going out with a regular customer who has pestered them about it mercilessly until the girl finally says, "Okay, dude, you win, I'll go out with you" just to stop the badgering. Anybody with experience with women knows this is NOT the "win" for the guy that it appears to be, and after the date you will realize your time would have been better spent elsewhere. From what they tell me, this approach seems to be more within the purview of the younger guys.
The point here is that if I'm the one initiating the outside dating, its more likely to be one-and-done on my part for a variety of reasons (most often I realize its a thank-you date, or else she lays the groundwork for a hustle), but if SHE initiates the outside date, there is a bigger chance it will escalate into something even bigger. Just my own experience. Others may have experienced it differently.
NEVER ask a K-girl more than once for an "outside" date.
Of course why a guy would want to go on a date with any girl, not just a K-girl that he had to beg for is beyond me in the first place. The best ones start something like this:
Me, " I think I might go grab a bite to eat at that new BBQ place on ABC st after I leave here"
Her, "I am done working for the day, lets go"
If you have to work much harder than that, she probably isn't really that interested.
Just not hungry at the moment. LOL
Modified to correct typo
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Also, what is your perspective on the segmentation of Kgirls?
I've met quite a few Kgirls who were well seasoned seductresses, who made all the right moves.
And then I've met Kgirls who appear to be inexperienced non-professionals, a bit bashful in the sack - at times it was difficult to wrap my head around how they could be a provider.
Would these dating categories still apply to the latter bunch?
Eom
I'm in my late 50's, so I won't even consider a girl for outside dating anymore who is younger than 35, and I really prefer between 40 and 50, providing they have kept themselves in good physical shape, as I have. There is no shortage of girls in this age range but they are much more careful about getting involved than the younger ones who have less experience with real-live relationships. In the beginning, I dated some younger girls and found that, while they are sophisticated when its showtime at the incall, they were very immature in real life. A booker I have know since the beginning of my Kgirl journey who I respect immensely, told me back then when I was considering dating a Kgirl, "They are not the same on the outside." Nothing has proven to be more true. They are ALL different outside from what you see at the incall. However, most are different in a worse way, and a much lesser number in a good way. This is why its one-and-done on many outside dates.
The veteran Kgirls are a little different in that they know they only have a limited number of years to generate a healthy income from a healthy pussy, so they tend to view an outside relationship as an unnecessary distraction from the mission at hand. These girls are slow to agree to go out, but if they consider you a potential match for them after MANY sessions where you have become comfortable with one and other, they may decide to start dating you.
I'm ~ 20 years younger than you, so 35+ would be unlikely in my case. I think I may have visited with only one veteran K-girl who advertises as early 20's, and she's certainly passable, but her mature demeanor suggests otherwise.
When you say that most are different in a worse way, does this relate back to them being clingy and jealous? Or, is there more to it?
I'm kind of curious about the evolution of a Kgirl. Civvie Korean girls I've dated were quite prudish, and ensured that they behaved/ lived in a way that was consistent with their parent's wishes. Obviously, Kgirls are a diametrically opposing force.
By "worse way" not only clingy and jealous, but self-centered and many suffer from GPS. When you have a parade of guys putting you on a pedestal every day, it stands to reason that many get an inflated self-image which brings out many negative personality traits that you wouldn't tolerate in a civvie relationship. The success I have had is largely due to the fact that I DON'T put them on a pedestal and instead treat them like I would the GND that I might go out with once in awhile. I rarely compliment them on their looks unless it appears they have gone to some trouble to make themselves look especially nice (hair, makeup, clothing) for an outside date with me. Fawning over them generally just plays into their thought that you can be hustled or manipulated, but most guys, especially the young ones, can't help themselves because they don't believe they could ever date a girl this hot in the civvie world. I have when I was younger, just not lately, so I am never in awe of their beauty and convey that in my attitude. If you act like YOU'RE the lucky one, they won't treat you very well.
Many of these girls initially get into this business to bail their families out of debt. Dad lost his job and then they ran up their credit cards. They abandon their families to come to America and make enough to pay off the debt and then go home in 90 days. If that doesn't do it, they come back for another 90 days. The remainder are girls that have already worked in the sex industry in Korea, mostly as salon girls. Salon girls are typically retired out at the age of 28-30, so they come here to continue their sex work. That's why there is such a disparity between the skill levels of the 90-day wonders and the veteran girls. Its due to the years of experience the older girls have had working in the salons.
Keep in mind these girls hear how beautiful, sexy, smart (even if they don't speak English) all day, every day by literally hundreds of different guys, Many of them taller, younger, richer, more handsome and with bigger dicks than you. CDL is absolutely correct, if you are a suck-up all you will ever be is a mark.
I disagree slightly about the age of the girls I date, but although I will and have dated some of the younger ones, at my age (59, the same as CDL) I am a realist and I know it's unlikely that a sub 25 year old K-girl is going to be anything more than a very temporary GF and most likely no more sincere about our relationship than an SB. I know I have had a few Asian providers, (Chinese, Korean, Thai) genuinely fall in love with me, but every one of them were well over thirty. The good thing about Asian women of course is that they could all pass for a "young looking" 25 or so. lol
That's an interesting perspective, and I guess becoming overly self-absorbed would make sense.
I would also mention though that I've met a few Kgirls who seemed quite self-conscious (and self-deprecating), and sought reassurances that they were attractive. For one girl, this made sense, as her pictures were very much photoshopped, and she was not nearly as attractive as her pictures suggested, but other girls were clearly foxes, but I sensed some insecurities. OTOH, this could be a misinterpretation on my part.
Also, re: GPS, I may be one (of many) who is part of the problem. Part of my dirty talk routine is frequent compliments about how amazing their pussy feels. Of course, this isn't always the case, but I enjoy the dramatics.
I would also think that hobbiests who have a penchant for Kgirls, would be less likely, over time) to engage in fawning behavior, as they've been with several, and in some ways, become desensitized to their overly-stylized (and surgically-enhanced) aesthetics.
A few A-cup civvie Asian girls when I was younger, I will never be desensitized to a nice set of C-cup upgrades. The girl who's taking off work today in order to spend the whole weekend with me got hers a few years ago specifically for this kind of work after her marriage failed Even though she's only got one year left on her 3-year plan to bank enough for a Starbucks franchise, she plans to keep her tits after keaving the business. She has my complete support on this. Lol
and many of these "Asian Fetish Hobbyists" are still fawning over these women even after having been with hundreds of them.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love a 5' 3" 100 lb spinner with C cups, but I don't believe in fawning over any woman, women don't respect jellyfish, and the more you fawn over them the more they are simply going to look at you like a mark and definitely not someone worth dating IRL.
BTW ALL women have insecurities and since I brought up strippers earlier, I might mention that one of the ways to turn the tables on a dancer to have her chasing you instead of the other way around is to play to those insecurities. It can be effective, but it won't make you a very nice person and I quit doing it way back in my twenties. As I said ALL women have at least a few insecurities and a well placed "left handed" compliment can get even the most arrogant prima donna doubthing herself. Something like "Most women with your type of nose would never try to pull off that look, but you seem to get away with it quite nicely" Yeah, I was sometimes a jerk in my younger days, but I got a lot of pussy that was WAY out of my league. lmao
No offense intended to all my hobby bros dating or married to khos but they are nuts.
Why in the world do u want a relationship with a chick thats sucking on thousands of strangers dicks and eating their cum or DFking them while the dude is turbo jack hammering her pussy? And your girl also suffers from occasional orgasms due to her suffering of her pussy being tongue lashed? All while your hard at work??
Theres no pros!! Only hell. And possibly of becoming a pimp yourself when you need to pick up her "friends".
So castrate yourself and run!!!
I’ve dated a few I’m my lifetime and it’s just not worth it. Enjoy the hour of fantasy and walk away. Why date one and have the drama you want to get away from?
They’re nice girls but they usually have some baggage. One that I dated was great at first but then got so clingy and needy and would get jealous, which was ironic considering her line of work.
It’s cool to have fun in the room and have them tell you they love you and call you their boyfriend and then walking away after the hour. And staying friends!
Good luck if you choose to date though!
Very solid advice!
When you say she became jealous, do you mean that she prevented you from visiting with other providers?
I also struggle to wrap my head around this. I assumed Kgirls would embrace an open-relationship policy, but based on feedback, that doesn't appear to be the case.
So, at the end of the day, you're shackled and cuckold if you date a Kgirl?
This is unfortunate, because one possible upside to this arrangement could have been frequent and wildly passionate sex/ emotional connection with the one, but also somewhat free reign to maintain sexual variety for both parties without repercussion.
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“Your shackholded and cuckold when you date a KGirl?” To me, the answer is you set yourself up to be locked down by ANY girl who is seeking an exclusive relationship.
A P2P date is one thing, OTC dating is another. The one constant though, you’re dealing with a woman. Of course jealousy is likely to rear its ugly head if you misbehave.
The fact that she’s an SW doesn’t mean she is exempt from jealousy. One part of the KGirl dating construct is that you both accept that she is an escort. That doesn’t translate into it being OK for the guy to be a bad boyfriend (in her eyes, at least). From her perspective, you’re signaling that you have permission to treat her differently than a civvie girl. Whether intended or not, she’s going to take that as a sign of disrespect.
This has been a great thread, with tons of good advice about dating the girls, but I’m going to offer some advice on you’re side of the dating scenario. You come across as far more analytical than intuitive, which isn’t a bad thing. It certainly can keep you from a situation you could end up deeply regretting. But intuition could lead you into a relationship you could certainly enjoy. If a KGirl expresses an interest in dating you, what’s the harm in running with for at least a date or two? Or if there’s a girl you would like to take out on a date, what’s the harm in asking?
Disclaimer, unlike the great advice you’ve received from guys who have dated KGirls, I haven’t. My OTC dating was limited to Korean club dancers. So I can validate the “they will get jealous” aspect. Jealous enough to lead to a divorce with the one I married and had four kids with! 😂😣😂😣
She is fucking you for free, yet all her friends are fucking you too, but they are getting PAID. Can't you see how she would NOT be ok with this.
I always make it a rule to NOT fuck my GF's friends when dating a provider of any race, and if you get serious with a girl sometimes that means her friends are off limits for life, even if/when you break up with them. I dated a Thai girl pretty seriously for well over a year, by seriously I mean we saw each pretty much every day and would spend the night together about 6 nights a week. I got to know all her friends as I saw them almost every day as well, To this day, (we broke up about 3 years ago) there are still several of her friends that are still off limits to see as a customer, (A couple of them have been open to actual dating however)
There is a huge difference between getting "paid for sex" and "paying for sex" in her mind it's her job to fuck other guys, it's not about "sexual variety" when you are out fucking other women in many providers mind it's because she is not "enough" for you. Now if you are just casually dating, that's a completely different story, especially if by her choice she is only seeing you a couple of times a week. She can't expect you to "do without" if she doesn't have time to see you more regularly, but if she is willing to fuck you every day, most likely she is NOT going to be happy about you fucking other women.
and reaching an understanding on some potential problem areas in the beginning will clarify things for both of you and save yourselves some drama down the road. The very moment a girl says she wants to see me as an outside boyfriend, I ask her if she is going to be jealous if I see other girls. The younger girls say they don't want to share you with anyone else, and if you see someone else, they will be very angry. When this happens, walk away. Part of the reason we have is hobby is we all like a little variety.
An older girl is more pragmatic. The answer that I ALWAYS look for is when she says, "I don't know how I can be jealous while I'm doing this kind of work." THIS is the girl I want for my girlfriend. Some will have to arrive at this point after a little more discussion about it, but when they say they don't want you to see anyone else, then I would say it hardly seems fair that they are seeing other guys and I can't see other girls. They will say the other guys are customers and its just business, to which I will say, its just business for me too, because I'm paying them. So we reach an accommodation where I can see all of the providers I want, but I agree not to have sex with anyone WITHOUT paying them. I rarely do anyway, so its an empty gesture on my part, sort of like giving up cow brains for Lent. The flipside is, I NEVER mention her job of having sex with six guys a day. No jealousy from me, and none from her will make the relationship last much longer. The mistake most guys make in this regard is first agreeing not to see anyone else, and then trying to walk it back later. Can't be done, IMO. As soon as she commits, go over the "terms and conditions" of being her boyfriend.
In my case, my girl would say "You know my work, So please don't make problem" We agreed and she leaves town for two weeks or a month depending on schedule, but here's the kicker. She told me "I know you are a man and you need that release, but no agencies or kgirl in my area. The reason she said "most of these girls are her friends" So i was basically blocked by the bookers and agencies A lot of the veterans in the business are connected as they say "It's a small community"
My simple answer to this post:
1. If a jealous person or has a problem with her job - walk away without any attachment
2. If you love her, do it with an open mind - help her to make a better situation
3. listen to your heart & mind not your dick - As i was told by a old timer pimp "You cannot make every hoe a housewife"
4. if you do decide to marry - delete your review accounts on all boards or #1 will happen - the worst feeling is reading a review of your girl.
5. If she is a good wife and gets green card status, you'll think nothing happen. but remember these women know the rules of how long to be married and they will "runner"
If i had to doit all over again, just a different girl every week, less stress...
You bring up something that I've occasionally wondered about myself.
How close-knit the kgirl community is in my area, and any client-based discussions they're having.
Of course, I doubt any of us are privy to this type of information, but if would be useful information for one who goes down that route of dating a kgirl to ensure that he avoids visiting with her friends to prevent any drama from occurring - but this takes me back to my point of being both 'shackled' and 'cuckold' if you're dating a kgirl.
to set your own ground rules for the relationship. Essentially, your agreement says you're okay with her fucking YOUR friends, but she doesn't want you fucking HER friends. This is not parity in the relationship. That's why I said its the biggest mistake guys make when getting into a Kgirl real life relationship. Once you agree to not see any other Kgirls, you can't walk it back without looking like a cheater and destroying the relationship. You have to talk it through IN THE BEGINNING and get to an even playing field for both of you. She's a working girl, yet she wants to hold you to the boyfriend standard of faithfulness of a civvie girl, but with no reciprocity. How is that fair to you? The "stress" that comes with this is when we don't think things through and wake up one day realizing you made a great deal for her, but not so great for you. Seek parity in everything about the relationship, and it will last longer. I, for one, try to not make the same mistakes twice, but still bear a lot of scars associated with my "learning curve." As I said above, I will not enter a relationship with any limitations on my P4P activities. The argument is that its just business, not personal, because I'm paying for sex. I will only agree not to fuck anybody for free. That is complete parity with what she is doing in her business. She will commit to only fuck ME for free. Everyone else pays. You do this and it can last for a very long time.
I don’t think these k girls care lol.
you haven't yet been in a deep relationship with one. The ones that don't care are just playing you for a sucker, so what is there to care about? A real life Kgirlfriend will get just as jealous as a civvie girlfriend. That's why you need to set some rules in the beginning.
I understand what you are saying. At the beginning, She worked in my area before i got involved with her. Then one day out shopping and happen to run into a friend, come to find out my old friend happen to be a customer. From that day she didn't work in town anymore, plus i have friends in Cali so she asked their number to block from seeing her. That way we do not have problems between us. So far it's a long stretch with her. I'm not perfect, I'm a man. It hasn't been one sided.
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that you're saying you see other girls, but you don't tell her about it. If she finds out, she will accuse you of cheating, and she would be right. THERE IS NO WAY to change the deal once you have made it, so your only choice is to resort to cheating behind her back and HOPE she doesn't find out. She will find out eventually, and the relationship will be over. I often tell new guys, "Never underestimate the power of the Kgirl network." Any Kgirl that knows your girl will rat you out given the chance. I agree if you find that you made a bad deal, then you must take the risk if you can't live the deal you made. I'm for making the right deal in the beginning and then everything is on the table. When I see a girl that knows my outside Kgirlfriend, she's free to tell my girlfriend. I don't care. The only thing my girl will say is, "Did he pay you?" As long as she says yes, I have kept to the bargain I made. In the deals I make with new girlfriends, transactional sex is never cheating for EITHER one of us, not just for her in her business.
She worked at the Hotel Del Rey which was not only where I stayed when in Costa Rica, but it was also where hundreds of other hookers worked.
Shortly after we started dating (and she quit taking my money) she "tried" to lay down some groundrules, starting off with "no otra chicas" which I am sure you can figure out meant "no other girls" Well naturally my reaction to that was to LMAO, so she countered with ok "pero ninguno de mis amigas" meaning ok, but "none of her friends" but of course they were ALL her friends which I was quick to point out.
We finally came to an agreement, she would spend every night with me, but when she left in the morning I was free to do whatever I wanted during the daytime until she came back in the evening with three stipulations. The first was "None of her GOOD friends" she named off about a half a dozen chicas that considered pigs anyhow so that was easy to agree to. The second was "always wear a condom" with the other girls, also very easy to agree to, and her final "rule" was "no feas" (no ugly women" She said I can't have my "novio" fucking ugly women. I LMAO and agreed. We dated for well over a year and had a great time together until she finally went BSC on me and I had to cut her loose. lol
So much good and pertinent info on this thread. From my OTC experience, certainly more limited than others here, this advice from taquitoguy is dead on. The 60 minute fantasy is the best its gonna get. Make up perfect, sexy outfit, great and sexy attitude(fake or not), and a hell of a lot cheaper than a 24-48 hr date of fancy restaurants, shopping, and the humiliating "taking her dog for a 5am walk w plastic bag".......
Also really like CDL's point, "NEVER ask her about her clients/how many today"...lol....near quote maybe
Do you know anything about the Kgirl mindset around marriage? (Besides an opportunity for a green card)
Civvie girls are usually looking to get married by 30, and have family and societal pressure to do so.
As Kgirls have apparently bucked Asiatic societal conventions, is their time horizon for marriage any different?
I have had relationships with ALREADY had the normal Korean marriage (and some have children), but it didn't work out, so they turned to hooking to get out of debt and have a fresh start. They initially claim to have ZERO interest in ever being married again . . . . until the right guy comes along . . . . usually an older Caucasian guy who is financially stable. Then they are more than willing to fall in love. Lol
the getting married by 30 thing is outdated. they don't think that way any longer. only the 2nd generation asians in america still have that goal. the asians that live in big cities (Seoul tokyo shanghai etc..) area all about money. the pressure to keep up with high society in those areas are immense and difficult to do. unless the girls are marrying rich guys, they are only thinking of how to make a lot of money in the shortest amount of time possible.
isn't it ironic that we hope to seduce her enough to get a date just after fucking as perfect strangers?
In the non hooker world you get to know each other BEFORE fucking, in the hooker world we get to fuck them first and then decided if we want to get to know them. It does save on wasting all that time "getting to know" a non hooker only to find out she sucks in the sack once you finally get a chance to fuck her.
of most romantic interest in civvie women. You spend two or three dates getting to know them, and at some point they decide you're worth fucking, but afterward, you realize they WEREN'T worth fucking, plus, you're spending a lot of time flossing the pubic hair out of your teeth. Now you're in for a lot of drama trying to extricate yourself from the budding relationship, which you would not have started in the first place had you known she was lousy in bed. Its much easier to manage the social aspect once you know they're good in bed. In fact, it acts as an incentive to escalate things. (For both of you if you're good in bed, too.) I'm at the point now after being the outside boyfriend to several Kgirls that it seems more normal to fuck first and then decide if you want to see them again, rather than vice versa. Civvie girls are not usually open to that arrangement. Lol
Modified to correct typos
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Yes - this hobby definitely has some interesting effects on one's perception of 'normal' coupling behavior.
Especially, when a bevy of beautiful women are one call/text away, and you can circumvent the social mores of dating culture for immediate sexual gratification.
As I've said, I've been on a kgirl bender for the past 6+ months, and should probably make a concerted effort to regain a sense of control.
CDL - You say you've been with 600+ kgirls over the past several years. Do you ever have a sense that you've lost control?
until the first year I topped six figures on my hobby budget (2013). I try to stay under that now, and am doing a pretty good job. However, I don't count the money I spend on a Kgirl that has become an outside real life girlfriend as part of my hobby budget.
I think the key is to achieve balance. I have my own Kgirl "routine" as far as my hobby schedule. I try to see two new girls a week for an hour each, and then I do two or three two-hour repeat sessions, most often with girls I consider "regulars" who I have been seeing for months or even years. The availability of the girls causes some necessary flexibility. If some of my regulars are on vacation, I will see more new girls that month. Likewise, if some additional touring girls are back in town that I normally see when they are here, I will repeat with them at the expense of a few of the new girl hours. When I have an outside girlfriend as I do currently, I try not to let seeing her interfere with my hobby "routine" but sometimes, there just isn't enough time to do everything (or everyone) that I want to do. That is why I was only able to see five new girls in February, as opposed to the minimum of eight that I planned on seeing.
When you are seeing only new girls (one and done philosophy), there is a danger of regarding the girls too objectively and treating them like a commodity, removing the human element from the equation. You end up with a lot of sessions that are devoid of any feeling or connection because you have no interest in getting to know the girl past the one session. What would be the point of a lot of chit chat getting-to-know-you if you KNOW you won't be back? On the flipside, if you get too wound up in ONE regular, you begin to have delusions that its something more real than it is, and it often leads to an uncomfortable blowup between you and the girl, as she regards you as just a good customer, and you regard her as something more, an inequitable situation that gives rise to jealousy and all sorts other negative emotions. By mixing my week with both 1) repeats with regulars and 2) the thrill of discovery of new girls, I feel it gives me some balance where I don't end up going off the deep end at either of the extremes I just described. I am always respectful with new girls because you never know which ones might become regulars. At the same time, having regulars allows you to see the potential in the new girls you meet and appreciate how they might work into your regular rotation, which prompts you to want to get to know them as a person, not just a quick fuck.
Wanna share the secret?
I had 5-6 appt a week before and my penis was in pain and could not shoot out any juice. I can go again and again, but sperms are limited... and I’m in my 20s....
I read your post and you are up there.... I’m really impress by your physical condition. I need to do what you are doing now to produce more sperms.
Thanks,
If you are still in your twenties and having sex less than once a day is giving you pain, and causing you to shoot "blanks" at your young age you might want to consider seeing a doctor.
Now I will confess I am not exactly the "normal" 59 year old, nor is CDL, but even at my advanced age having sex 5-6 times a week is my norm, to give a little perspective, even when I was in my early fifties fucking a dozen different women over a 3 day weekend was something I would treat myself to about once a month.
And before you think I am some kind of health nut, or that supplements or some such bullshit is the secret, let me say that I am still drink like a fish, and I don't even take one of those "one a day" multivitamins, much less any of those ridiculous megavitamins and supplements that some people swear by. I do eat healthy, and I do stay in at least "decent" shape, which I guess is more than you can say for most guys pushing sixty.
“Pain” is not a word to describe here lol.
Just want to know how to produce more sperms so I can shoot out a big load once a day. 2-3 appts per day is not a problem, but I will not release as much sperm as I want overtime on that day.
last paragraph. First two are spot on for me, too. I do take supplements, but none of the phony dick-growing or -hardening shit. Just to supplement my nutrition. I venture to say I get everything out of these supplements that you get out of a bottle of tequila, except the buzz. Lol
To respond to his question, I had the good fortune to be a handsome guy in my twenties. (If you saw me now, you would ask what the hell happened - lol). I had much contact with the opposite sex as a result, and developed my "game" early on (Once you have "game" you never lose it, but you can get rusty, and that's why I can compete with you 20-somethings for outside Kgirl affections). I could usually walk into a club or bar in those days and take a lady back to my place for an evening of sex in less than an hour after meeting her, so that became my practice, six or seven days a week. Oftentimes, I would finish with one girl, then go back and pick up another one three or four hours later, so what GaG says about being able to "binge" is absolutely true. If you're in your twenties, you just need to train for it like any other athletic endeavor. Start with three times a week, then start filling in the days in between until you can go everyday. Then start doing twice a day. You just have to train yourself to do it, . . . . . and use more lube if the girl is not getting naturally wet. I didn't start hobbying until I was nearly 50, and I often saw a Kgirl in the morning and then another one after lunch. I didn't stop that practice because of any physical limitations of age, but because its a time-suck driving around to more than one incall. If I book two hours with just one girl, I get two pops (occasionally three if she's really good), but I haven't spent my whole day on it.
I will not date a hooker to be honest. It leads to no where and also it is not an ideal partner that you should be thinking of.
You deserve better trust me.
I’m not being rude, but whenever I see an asian woman with some old white dude together. The first thing pop up on my mind was she a hooker?
Sorry guys.. I’m not being rude and also forgive my language I’m just in my 20s...
Here my experience
Started this hobby around a year and dated a couples. Most of the girls I went out with are younger than me.... I found it’s hard to date with girls older than me. I just have no feeling toward them. Imagining dating a girl that is 10 years older than you... like for real what the heck?
For the women older than me, we didn’t last long. Probably after the 4th dates, we just stop contacting each other. Nothing serious here.
Longest would be a year and still going. I was lucky enough to find a girl younger than me and she’s definitely my type. I told her to not come back here and work again. It’s a difficult job and she also agreed with me. I think she intended to work for 3 months when she was here last year, but quit back after 3 weeks. She was fortunate to find a decent job and yeah... I’m still supporting her. I got her couple expensive hand bags, necklace, designer shoes.
I’m not sure how’s long this one will last, but she said she will visit me by come here once in a while.
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-- Modified on 2/28/2018 1:50:41 PM
It sounds like you are saying you have a current girlfriend who you knew for three weeks, who then returned to Korea, and you are supporting her there with expensive gifts and told her not to come back here to work. That's how I took it. What am I missing, or did I understand you correctly?
I only seen her twice at the incall. I didn’t want to spend that much because she got lazy after our second meeting. She gave me a mediocre session, but I can’t complain. However, getting to know her is one of the best things happened to me.
Yes I did spoil her with luxury stuffs. But that’s fine.
Hmmm, you only saw her twice, because she got lazy on 3rd-4th time ?? And told her "don't come back to USA", where you live, as you prefer to take care of her from 7000 miles away ?? Now I'm also a little confused. But thats fine. Is your name "Mark" ???
I’m starting to question your ability to read. Jk lol
Yeah she was lazy on my second incalls with her. There was no service. We’re only fked for like couple mins and the rest was just chatting. I wanted to go again, but got rejected with an excuse “I’m tired, don’t want to work anymore”
So after she quit, we meet up and start dating as In Just go out and chilling.
Somehow we ended up together lol. I guess I treated her nice 
Just FYI, destroying the goods during the first round makes msog more difficult.
now you lost me again. I thought you said she was in Korea and you are here. How is that "ending up together", especially if you told her not to come back here and she agreed not to?" To me, that sounds like you ended up apart, not together, but you're still supporting her, right?
Man.. do I need to clarify everything ? Lol jk it’s cool.
I told her to not come back here again as in do not come here to work as hooker. She can come to visit me as tourist you know?
dated a few kgirls in my time. its definitely hard in the beginning since its obvious what kind of work they do. i really just go along for the ride, get some dates, even received nice xmas and bday gifts from them. I noticed that just shutting my mind off to their work and just spending quality time with them works best for me. Have fun, although it may be short, just enjoy your time. luckily i havent had a jealous or crazy one yet. i try to setup some kind boundary as well, like not giving up too much info on my work or personal life. longest side relationship ive had is 2 years (still going). shortest relationship i had was just a mere month or so.
Had a guy PM about this a couple of days ago. He told me after his first session with a K girl she told him she "felt a connection with him" so he went back a couple of times. He asked her if they could meet outside the room and she told him on her days off she could meet him. He said he would text her and they were supposed to meet but something would always come up and she couldn't make it but "she really missed him". I told him he was getting played, if she really missed him, she'd make the date. What she really missed was the "donation" and gifts he was bringing her. Sometimes you just have to think with the big head of the other one.
God gave man a brain and a penis but only enough blood to run one at a time.