During an email exchange to set up a new appointment, an escort I've seen three times asked me, "Can you help me out till our next appointment?"  It got me to wondering: providers and mongers, is there a consensus as to what's appropriate?  I mean, what are the boundaries in this kind of relationship?  I don't mean to initiate a discussion with the provider as to the details of what happened.  She's an amazing person and I've been kind of remiss in that I've cancelled a couple appointments with her (always at least two days in advance) and I really would like to continue seeing her, but she feels I've let her down.  Anyway, I'm asking about the general principle, not the specifics of this case.  I'm sure it would be totally uncool for me to ask for services now, to be paid when I get my paycheck next month, wouldn't it?  To be honest, it also crossed my mind:  is this crossing a line?   Am I going to have to look forward to escalating requests for money/favors with an implicit threat to expose me in my private life?  Or am I all wrong?  What would be appropriate as a response on my part?  Any thoughts?  Ladies?  Gentlemen?

the part "can you help until next appointment" Did she mean session with her and pay her next time you see her?

Thanks for responding.  I guess I wasn't clear.  She was asking me to lend her money and she'd give me credit on my next appointment.  I'm not sure how I was supposed to get the money to her, probably Paypal.  I don't know her real name or address etc (but she knows mine).  What do you think about this?  Are there rules or protocols or mores?

If you can't make money in this business, go get another job to tie you over! Don't be so needy and tacky to ask married men to pay you when you're not even fkin them that day. Tell her, Sure babe I will help you out when I get the urge to BOOK with you again, if that day ever happens. No provider or hobbyist should be contacting each other out of the blue asking for shit, unless you guys have some sort of arrangement. Don't be a sucker...tell her to go make her own money or get a another job.

It's impossible to speculate on what will happen in the future if you decide to help her out.  Some providers are totally above board and will either pay you back in full as soon as they can or else pay you back in services with extra time and/or services thrown in to thank you for your generosity.  Some will string you along, milk you dry and then at some point never respond to emails or phone calls.  Most will fall somewhere in the middle, they will pay back the loan in services but the services offered will be diminished and less spectacular.  My advice is that if you do help her out, don't lend her money you can't afford to lose and consider it a gift, because you may never see it again.  If she does repay you in cash or full services then consider yourself fortunate.

1. If you give her any money, plan on never seeing it paid back.
This does not apply to all providers, but most of them.

To anyone, never give out enough that you would be pissed if you never got it back.

Don't even consider it!!! It's crossing the line... How do you know if there will be a future session after you advance the funds???  

can I get a bj on loan?

Speaking for my experiences.  

London said it all nothing more need be said. The fact that you came here to ask says that you have a trust issue. If you gave her the "loan" why would you even have to wait to have service? If you give it you get it. Got it? Sounds like you are a once a month guy so just tell her session time is around the corner and tell her to wait.  

've been hobbying a long time (over 30 years).  I've advanced funds several times.  Some times it worked out, sometimes not.  I'd say I'm about 50/50 in terms of getting repaid.  In each instance I went into it with my eyes open and realized I might not get the funds back and might never see the provider again.  I didn't advance money I couldn't afford to lose (although some losses hurt alot more than others).  

But I do agree in most cases never extend more then you are willing to loose.  However there is something to be said about the integrity of some providers.  Some have it, others don't.  You know by how they treat you if they are a stand up provider or not.  Most will try to make things right, not always the best services but some have the integrity to keep up their end of the deal.  

When things are slow for my Provider, she asks me for help with her Bills and Groceries. I don't mind cause I know for sure it's going to pay her Bills and Food. And besides she's so Adorable and Cute, how can I not help her out? In your case, Should you help her out? I'm not totally sure, but I think it's Fine. If you've known her for a while, I see no problem helping out a Favorite Provider.

Thanks for all the great responses.  I actually did NOT give her any money, and she's mad at me.  I didn't think of posting on this subject until she sent me an email saying I let her down and if I want to see her again, I have to book at least two hours.  (I've never had any kind of relationship with her at all outside of booking three separate one-hour appointments.)  That's why I posted my question -- was I out of line for not giving her money?  Is that something I'd be expected to do?  And if I did, is that just the beginning of being asked for more and more all the time?  I think you all have answered that for me, and I thank you all for taking the time to respond.

Both providers and hobbyists provide a 'service'. One provides flesh and the other cash. I'm curious, if this question were to be flipped, and a hobbyist was short of cash - would providers extend a 'loan'?

She's Mad for you for not helping her out? The Hell with her. Find another Provider. Now she wants a 2 hour Session if you want to keep seeing her? Dump her Ass. Find another Provider. What the Hell is wrong with her? Probably a Gold Digging Whore.

I have an Emergency Session Fund saved to see my Provider.

Makes the rest of us look bad and you never know if she will make good on it.  Would you prepay or loan money to your real estate broker just because he's getting paid regardless of the date your home gets sold?

Don't hold anything back now LR, tell it like it is and let us know what you think. Stop pussyfooting around

He asked a question because a provider wants to borrow money from him before the next session. I understood his post so why attack him? He's looking for guidance and he got it below.

Well stated.

No, you're not out of line at all and good thing you didn't give her a cent. If a provider disses you for not giving her an advance, she's way out of line just as you would be in asking her to give you a session for payment at a later date. That's not cool either.

Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!

You and LR both, sounds like a doubles session waiting for a horny guy! Are my eyes deceiving me?

Good advice.

I said don't be no different than either way your fucked comment below.  
If I were to say you are a moron I could see you asking but I didn't .
However, if he never got paid back had he givin a large sum ....

which is rare.  the fact that she asked isn't a huge issue but to dis a guy because he didn't that is completely out of line and just shows her true colors.  Unless you are involved in a financial domination agreement that is totally uncalled for and no one should ever make another feel bad for not being willing or able to help out...  

Years ago we used to agree on almost everything Sage. I think one or both of us have become jaded, uh oh, lol.

Now all who responded to you are going to have this coo coo for cocoa puffs chick stalking us lol. As if I care, but IJS.

Which is precisely my point. Some women want to act as if this shit is ok, when it is downright tacky. Unless they are offering a blowjob today for payment next week, wtf. Sad.

That's what'll happen if you loan her money. She will come to resent you. Your relationship will forever change. Indeed, the fact that she asked YOU tells you what she thinks of you.

I have tons of regulars & I've known them since I started & I would never ask for "ADVANCE" assistance... You don't go to a salon & say do my hair but ill pay u later... But I'm a saver.. I put aside half or more of what I make for a rainy day along with paying for my semesters...  You just have to be smart about money... But each to their own... If he feels comfortable & trust that she will pay it back then good for him... But if he doesn't get his "Advance" back then don't get upset....  Lol

-- Modified on 8/27/2013 9:01:57 PM

Oh well, it's been coming for a long time but I'm fine with where I am. I respect your opinion even when we don't agree and I'm well aware of your honesty and integrity. No arguments there, just mostly everything else lately, lol.

Even if he did stalk you, all he'd get is your f*ckibng auto reply anyway. It's fairly intimidating as well, I know it scared the shit out of me the first time I got one of your hooktard auto-reply rants. I'm still shaking in my boots thinking about you going cookoo for cocoa puffs on my ass.

In this particular case though, I agree, it's a really bad idea. Most providers aren't crooks and users and actually, mine are nothing like that. You either trust each other or you don't and trust takes a long time to build. If that kind of trust does exist, an occasional loan doesn't have to turn into an entitlement program that further degrades into an ATM machine. The first time you give her the benefit of the doubt and see how she reacts. She's either honest or she isn't and it will become apparent very quickly.

I am a nice guy.  when I like a woman and see her more than once I have been asked on occasion for an advance against services.  all but once I got more than repaid in exemplar services the next time the lady came into town.  once, I just got plain stiffed.  yeah it hurts when anyone takes advantage of you.  would I NEVER do it again?  I don't know.  one lady who I lent some money to many years ago is still a friend and is long retired from this line of work.  I am clearly old enough to know better yet, part of me likes that I have a stupid sense that most people are not looking to harm you.  I really do want to believe that folks have good motives.  yeah, yeah, I know I am stupid.

I want to send out a special thank you to some of the hobbiest who have helped me in the past.
I had an issue come up with my car and I needed to get it fixed. I received a some payment ahead of time to help me with the issue and I gave him a date. Even exchange!!

I have a simple philosophy that's guided me over time: if you're going to lend/exchange money, don't expect anything back. It's a gift!  Period

There was an ATF Provider I saw between the early 1990's to about the mid 2000's. She was Awesome. Always treated me well and always found time to see me no matter how busy she was with other Clients. She moved to North Carolina a few ago when things here got slow here. She's long Retired from the Business. She doesn't work in North Carolina. I've driven over there to visit her several times already. She's still Awesome after all these years. Just as playful and sexy since the first day I met her. What's the point of this story? I still help her out when she needs help. I just sent her a $500 Money Order to help her move out of her current apartment. If you have a favorite Provider that treats you Nice, then there's nothing wrong with helping her out. Even if she's retired from the Business. At this point I'm probably going to keep seeing her until the day I Die.

oink oink