Just had a question, do providers in general care about looks? For example i am overweight and very insecure about it. So insecure about it i would prefer to keep my shirt on. Is that normal? Feel rather embarrassed saying this but i have stretch marks is my main reason for my insecurities. Would a provider respect my wishes to keep my shirt on? To any providers out there, are stretch marks common to come across? Would it be a problem? I'm in my middle 20's and would try to find someone around my age. I'm sure someone who is (age 25+) would be more understanding of this? Or you think in general most would be accepting of this? I'm new to this and just wanted to know some info before i start. Before making an appointment, should i discuss my situation with the provider. Any info would be appreciated. Thank you.
for me, i wouldn't have an issue with it at all. nobody is perfect and *everyone* has some kind of flaw that makes them self conscious about something....its totally normal to feel self conscious and not want to take your shirt off and nobody, providers or civies should judge you for that.
It seems like every question has been asked before. Yes even yours about leaving your shirt on, which you probably think is a unique question. Check out this thread from a couple months ago.
You should be fine man. Good luck and have fun!
...should first get a TER learner's permit and be required to lurk and observe for six months before posting. They should not be allowed to fully use TER until they prove they know how to drive the car.
find the owners manual.
Lots times they are playing catch up after a wreck.
We are not here to judge just like how we wouldn't want people judging us providers for what we choose to do with our lives. You don't have to explain; whatever makes you feel comfortable in you're own skin. I think no matter what, there's something beautiful in everyone
naive, but most probably won't. I know women who refuse to see anyone who is overweight just as I know women who won't see anyone who is not circumsized. You can join p411 and fill the profile out as it covers all of this. If the women you contact respond positively after knowing these things, well there ya go. Good luck to you.
Providers are just women, not some professional robot programmed to respond accordingly to every situation. Some will care, some will not. Some you will be able to tell they care, some you will not. Do your research and find the right lady.
A regular lady I see, once told me. Early on, I learned to have sex with a person, not a body. It was a difficult lesson, but one I am sooooo glad I learned. Would more men would learn that lesson.
As to those who are putting you down because you are not an expert on navigating TER. Disregard them. Your question has been asked many times, because it is one of the most common questions of someone first trying out this hobby. In short, you are really quite normal, but once you try it, you will be normal with a grin on your face.
Couple of different thoughts on this issue:
1) My pet saying on these boards is "Always remember, it's a "date," not a date! If you are freshly showered and respectful, most of the girls I know really don't care what you look like. I am no prize physically either and I have never felt that this in anyway affected my somewhat vast experiences here. I keep my shirt on a lot of the time for the exact same reason: it makes me feel more relaxed. Again, I don't think the girls really care one way or another!
2) They are women, therefore, wired differently than we are. I'm not saying that looks and physicality don't' matter to women but I don't think such things have quite the same priority with them as it does with us. Again, I'm no prize to look at, especially from the neck down and don't have a boat load of dough but have had at least three real relationships with women I've met doing this, a couple of whom whose identity would probably cause serious questions about my credibility!
Relax & have fun!
It's a tough question to ask...so thanks for asking! Me, personally, I am never offended or judging of someone's comfort level. As someone previously said, everyone is self conscious about something. The truth is not everyone admits it. I can look past a hobbyists age, weight, height, hair, likes, and dislikes so long as he is respectful. I think it's sexy when a guy is comfortable in his own skin, no matter what skin that is.
Also, you should know you are not alone. I've seen a couple people that prefer to keep their shirts on.
Again, everyone is different and "to each is own" or "the beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
Best thought is to mention it to the provider via PM or, as someone else suggested, to fill it out for screening.
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