we change. or we are dead. so the "soul mate" exists only as a temporary illusion. I and my "soul mate may change in time.
part of that change may simply be that one sees the other better for who they are rather than for who they are wished to be. part of that may be simply that each experiences live from different POVs and so drift happens, the bond weakens. the former soul mate becomes... well... former.
I think that if there is nothing complementary about a potential lover, nothing really interesting will happen. there will be no magic, no chemistry. with only one exception, I cannot think of a past love with whom communication seems impossible. although the relationship as a lover may end, traces remain.
I find nothing to regret in the impressions left upon me by my loves. while none were "soul mates" in the classic sense, all were deeply engaging. for that I can only be thankful. nothing was wasted.
in the Greek ethos balance and harmony, the complementaries are represented by the goddesses Dike, Harmonia, and Nemesis.
Dike is a justice flavored balance represented by the constellation Libra and the balancing of opposites. Harmonia is perhaps sweet concord of finely tuned balance. Nemesis represents the balance of antagonism and revenge. so the different ways of being complementary may have rather different flavors: sweet, bitter, and savory.
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but I do believe in "fit." Sometimes people just mesh in a way that makes sex phenomenal; of the over 60 providers, and despite having great sex with almost all of them, I've only gotten to that epic "fit" with two of them, and one of them was absolutely ethereal...she still is, every chance I get. I'm not sure what Plato's stance on that would have been, but I'm sure he got down...he was Greek. 
Oh and sorry for the thread hijacking above, I'm afraid you're a civilian casualty in the well deserved flaming of a wolf in sheep's clothing.
I don’t believe in a soul mate, either, but I do believe in soul mates. Plural. Maybe this is like saying “one of my ATFs,” but I do believe we can have that complementary bond with more than one person. The catch is there’s no guarantee you’ll meet any of them. They could be half a world away from you. Or they could be right there in your own town, two or three social strata away. Or you could just meet them at the wrong time.
I was blessed to meet one.
I don’t have any exciting or kinky stories of us and this isn’t the right place for the mushy details. But that Plato thing, that fission myth (I’d forgotten I’d heard that before), of finding your lost half? Yeah, that sounds right. Makes your whole mind shake. Resonance
