I have been inactive on the TER boards for some time (2012) as I was overseas. I am "white listed" but these references are likewise just as old. I seem to remember this the first time around...I am encountering providers who rightfully want some (updated) references...but how to I get the references without seeing someone? I am not sure how I managed this last time but my guess is that many of you on this board have encountered the same issue.
Ideas?

I thought I had a "deal" .... I met a provider last week who agreed to white list me...but this was the result...(in retrospect not even sure they knew what white listing was...)

One needs references to see the ladies to get references the see the ladies.

Some ladies have other ways but they can be very invasive. Some ladies have easier screening but you'll have to do you research and they may not be ladies that you would seek out. To quote the princess "Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince charming." No offense ladies because I know a lot of us are 'toads'.  

I've been in the 'hobby' a long time, off and on. Some of the ladies were friends and the 'community' was closer. I had some of those friends, raped, robbed, slapped around, computers confiscated by LE and some arrested, so screening is necessary. Even that's not a sure bet. While I know I'm one of the good guys, no one here knows that. I'm just a poster. The bad guys make it difficult for the rest of us and that happens in all professions.

The old catch 22, for sure. Even if someone that white listed you before is willing to fully vouch for you today, then you're still probably going to have to start over. A lot of us require updated references. Even guys that were great 5 years ago can change behaviour, which is why a lot of ladies ask for references from within the past 6 months or so.  

You can go to someone and work out a deal, and then you're probably going to end up with a similar experience as to what you described. A shitty experience, and then because the next lady is going to do her homework she'll not except that girl as valid reference anyway.  

You can't magically get references. Well actually I'm sure you could, but then you'd end up right back where you started. And not have actual legit refs. Do your research, and contact a REPUTABLE lady. Ask her what she needs from you. Yes, screening can seem "invasive". But if she doesn't give a shit who you are, and just goes ahead and agrees to meet, shouldn't that concern you? You're setting yourself up for.. best case scenario- a possible shitty time. Worst case scenario- robbed or a sting. Btw, if you contact a girl and all she does is ask you if you're a cop? Or you just show up and she does the ol' "LE Check"? That's NOT actually a way to stay safe. Just saying. #SillyEscortMyths  

Go about it the right way. But always remember you get what you pay for. If you try and cheat the system it will eventually come back to bite you in the ass. Trust is HUGE in this little community of ours, and not to be taken lightly. Find someone thats extremely well established and start a dialogue. Go from there.  

Happy hunting!  

-- Modified on 6/18/2016 9:25:21 PM

I agree with this approach. I never check white lists or any third party applications --There are no shortcuts when it comes to safety. See the providers you saw before for appointments, then you will have up to date references to share with new providers. Simple as that.

myself included...

just reach out and see what they ask for. if it's more than you're willing to share, then move along, you'll end up with a fresh reference before ya know it! ...

Te biggest thing is just willingness to share info...sensuallity is so best on mutuality and trust so sharing is the first step to a fabulous time!

END OF MESSAGE

It is a tricky situation when you have been out of the game for a while.  I tend to see favorites again and again and then when they retire, I am out of references and have to start over the hard way, trying to see providers without any references because my references have retired and are out of the game.  The way to break back in is to see providers who will provide an alternative screening method usually involving work information.  You have to be willing to provide real information about yourself but that is how the game is played.  Once I get one reference, usually I find other providers who are content with one legit real reference and then I can go from there.  I am always able to get back in the game with a little effort.  You also have to be willing to see escorts who are not your top choices but are more flexible in screening info in order to get back on track with your references.  

There are also screening websites who screen you for a fee and a number of providers accept those.

They will do one innocuous and very discrete phone call to your work for verification and then you can start building some Okays with some Newbie Friendly providers and go from there.