This is for the Ladies and Gents , who care to comment. I had a regular client who I have dated for the last two and a half years. He has always paid my hourly rate, always been a gentleman. However, lately he has became to comfortable with me. He asked if I would see him exclusively, come when he called, and send some naughty e-mails to help he get through the day. I agreed, to be his personal slut.

Two weeks ago I e-mailed him on a Monday asking him what day and time would he like my p***y to be awaiting his arrival? He e-mail a date and time, which we both agreed on. Two hours before our designated date he cancels ... I am pissed. However, I am thinking things happen. We do the same thing again the following week ... he cancels again! Then, asks if he can see me the following night ... again I agree. HUGE MISTAKE!

We meet, we chat, we have fun, we past the hour mark, now we are into more fun, we are past the two hour mark, and now we are being down right nasty ,going into the third hour mark then .. he cums. Okay its midnight, we hug, he puts my donation in my pocket book and we are off back to the real world.

I get home, pull out the donation! WTF! Donation for one hour? What? In writing this I can see that I also became a little to comfortably. I forgot a client, is a client, is a client,always agree on the amount of time we shall spend together and always,always check the donation before he leaves.    

I am no good at treating clients like clients ... I always want them to feel like they are reuniting with a distant lover, or that porn star they have always wanted to meet, or that soccer mom they have been eyeing, or that naughty school girl that needs a spanking .... okay, okay I am making my own self wet (lol). I really suck at this biz !

Suggests please ...

Ladies for more details e-mail me at: [email protected]

I feel your pain. I have seen one lady one or twice a week for the last two months. She is cool but her time management sucks. She is always 40 or 50 mins late.. I have cnx other ladies to see her.. Why because I am comfortable with her and she provide a great service.. You have to realize that this is a client-provider service and not to cross that line.. Maybe he has taken you for granted.. Time for you to let him know this a service and you are not his GF or SO.Just my 02.cents

It sometimes gets a little complicated with a long term type relationship.  There was one girl I saw regularly who would ask to have lunch just to talk after our session.  Sure I would take her, but it was a favor to her.  So of course, I did not pay a rate for that time.  So its not clear that in his mind, it was something that was outside what he considered the date.  Also, he is a long time customer and he should generally get special treatment just because he represents a certain revenue stream - that is just good business.  

On the other hand, I don't get this exclusive thing and the hourly rate.  The exclusive f*ck toy thing was created a long time ago and that is called a mistress and they have a big fat monthly rate for that service.  And if he was paying that, sure he would have a right to cancel.  But he wasn't.

So my only suggestions is not to agree to exclusive contracts unless you have a big fat monthly rate.  Give long term customers some sort of break, but make it clear what that break is (for example Celine reduces her rate from 3 to 2.5$ after a certain number of visits) - this keeps expectations clear.  And don't do anything without some sort of a charge - even dirty emails.  Good luck.

He has shown total disregard for my time. First canceling two appointments at the last minute, then staying for three hours and only paying for one. I guess you guys have spoiled me, because I have been booked for extended periods of time ... but, I have always been paid for my time.

a spoiled under the radar girl

If he posts on this board, he will get the message.. He know what he is doing and that is wrong. I would never schedule and hr and go three without paying for the three hrs..Just my .02

He is saying goodbye  as far as you being his one and only..something you should have said the second time he canceled.   You sound like a great person..but unfortunately most of us hobbyist are selfish jerks.  Sorry for your experience.  Simply put you were ripped off.  Really does not make much difference if it occured at the first appt or the 20th.

I try to keep my word but you have to remeber this is a hobby.. You just brought it back into perspective (sp).

He has become a bad apple, but don't let that spoil it for the rest of us. I like GFE, and I like getting lost in the fantasy. But when it is over, I know it is over. There is no mistaking getting in the car and driving back to the real world.

It seems like you are great at the heart of the biz. It seems like you could use a little help on how to remind the clients that it is a biz.

BTW: "sucking" at this biz is not necessarily a bad thing.

Suggestions for him: Either 1) cut him off; or 2) tell him what he did wrong, and that you expect a big tip on your next date.

PS: What is your rate for naughty e-mails? Sounds like an interesting legal biz opportunity.

If he wants to see you exclusively, He pays you up front your rates for a full week, a month, a year.. etc.

That is what it is meant by "exclusive"

If he had seen you in black he NEVER would have left you Ciara ..hehehe

Your suggests have been very helpful to me. I shall take some of the suggests posted here and move on.

thanks so much,
URG


-- Modified on 5/22/2005 8:35:12 AM

BTW;nice alias..lol Take care

As my name suggest I am a under the radar girl and would prefer to remain that way. Gentlemen, please do not e-mail or im me, for most of the gentlemen I see are referred by a friend, of a friend, of a friend. Thank you for you interest. Ladies, D.C. is GREAT there appears to be LOTS of Greek Lovers out there. Wow!  

Under the Radar Girl over and Out.

Big daddy is not a bad name to have either. But, what does the LNQR stand for?

URG

State secret..lol Take care

Now you tell us.  Too bad!  I'm a frequent business traveler to the area (in fact, I'm here for the next several nights), and this thread has caused me to become quite intrigued with you.

BD - I got the NQR (Not Quite Right) what's the L for - hehehe

You need to make it clear that it's just a provider-client relationship and you don't like him in that way or THAT much if you know what I mean. Now, that being said I have met a number of ladies I spend well over the amount time of the donation with and they never complain and I even see them again. I even ask them and they are fine with it and always have no problems.

You need to make it clear, you don't do that and never let it happen again, otherwise your doing nothing but saying it's ok. You should e-mail him and just mention in passing that he only paid you for one hour and you spent X amount of  private time with him...my suggestion is not to include any time spent having drinks or whatever, but then again I never pay for that stuff so take that for what it's worth.

In closing you need to let him know that what he did is not acceptable to you at all.

Radar gal, there ARE occasions when a new or existing gal might just give me more time than I booked.  On a rare occasion, it has been substantially more.  

 I look at it as as a combination of she had a good time, and she has made a good grace business offer (something like "customer appreciation day".)  As such, I feel it is rather "crass" at that time to specifically offer payment for time which I did not book.  Nonetheless, I do not forget what she did nor that it is a business.   In effect, if I want to continue seeing her she has "given" me something as a "friend".  Friendships are NOT one way.  Hence, I NEVER forget that.  Over time, it becomes MY turn.  It has been rendered that "the ball is in my court".  She has "some of my markers" (so to speak).  

 So, I may "gift" or bring her something special.  I may go out of my way to pamper HER the next time.  Give her a bubble bath, a back rub/massage or whatever.  If she needs to cut the session off a little early, or keep me waiting a time or two, or if her performance is a bit "sub par" on an occasion or two, I ALWAYS try to remember the extra miles she has gone for me.  It needs to "come out in the wash" and even out over time.  As I have suggested, there are many ways (in addition to money) that this can transpire.  My two Lincoln's worth (and I don't mean Town Cars).

-- Modified on 5/22/2005 1:58:14 PM

I've been lucky enough to have extended time but what I schedule is known up front so the overtime given is her gift to me. Now, if she didn't understand what time was scheduled and assumes he will pay for what he uses, that makes for a problem for both parties to resolve or move on from. Maybe I'll not mention what time I want in the future and see what happens when it goes over by equal to or greater then what I've gifted for. There might be more one time experiences then before this strategy.

I agree on THAT occasion, slip.  However, "anyway you slice it", she has made a "good faith gesture").  What goes around must come around.  As the saying goes: "You can't burn the candle at BOTH ends".  Sooner or later, it is YOUR turn if you want to keep a "good thing going".

LOL jig my hot male  ( hahaha).. ta hell with him ! LOL!...

I might have missed the good faith thing... Of course this side of the story is slightly slanted in her favor as it is hers to tell. But if her understanding and agreement was for exclusivity, it comes with a price no matter how you paint it. What's not well defined is what they both had agreed on for services and payment terms. She should have known better of course and set better terms. But as for the good faith gesture, I’m still not sure what it is you are referring to as this good faith thing - please explain.

-- Modified on 5/22/2005 4:03:19 PM

She needs to make it clear up front that any private time is on the clock, otherwise I'd suspect it's free and I'm almost always right, so I wouldn't feel diffrent if this happened to me with her. She needs to lay out the ground rules from the start.

I have several personal favorite providers who I try to see whenever they visit. The relationship inevitably goes beyond the regular client basis. Sometimes an hour turns into 80 or 90 minutes. I usually book more than an hour anyway and always ask if I'm inconveniencing them. I usually give a little extra tip or present. Sometimes we we take in a show or go out to dinner. I've made it clear that I will pay for our private time as well as tickets and meals but don't want to have to pay for the full amount of time. If this is a problem we've discussed it beforehand. Cancelling and being inconsiderate of your time is inexcuseable but it's up to you to make that clear to your client. You can't be used unless you allow it. If this guy wants to see you again just make it clear that he owes you! At least in his case you should discreately check his donation at the start of your encounter. Then you might mention that you guess he only has time for an hour visit and stick to it.

You are right slip.  This thing has more "twists and turns than a snake".  Yes, it seems clear from the original post that Radar Girl felt that she was entitled to more than one hour of compensation.  

 Okay, I'll try to address that, again.  First off, I don't think I said anything that would agree with that assertion.  Quite the contrary.  If she offered more than what was "bargained for" without discussing it, that was strictly on HER.  After all, what guy is going to watch the clock and suggest that she stop after one hour(especially when he has not popped yet)?  Men just aren't "wired that way".  Also, she does not have the right to assume that he brought enough for the three hours they actually had.

  I will say again that when a provider gives me extra time, I appreciate it (and of course thoroughly enjoy it as ANY man who has that extra time would).  I do not feel obligated to pay for it, as such.  However, this is still a business and I regard that as a "favor" bestowed by a business friend.  If anyone wants a friendship to continue, they must return favors (the same applies for relationships, btw).  We were either all taught that as kids or have learned it in the "school of hard knocks".  So often, I have seen a good thing be destroyed because that "lesson" has been forgotten.  In life, there really is NO such thing as a "free lunch".

...what you are describing is called "communication".  There may also be an element of negotiation in it.  However, no real negotiation can occur without communication.  BTW, some gals indicate on their website that they do NOT want to engage in negotiation (especially at the beginning).

 How many less problems the world would have if we could only COMMUNICATE.  BTW, that means LISTENING as well as talking.  Most of us are not good listeners, because we see, hear, perceive and believe mostly what we WANT reality to be.  To establish listening, there must be feedback from the listener.

Greek. Now what to do I guess will never know.(LOL)

it never works when someone makes an assumption.  Communication is the key.

I remember once when I was out of town, a provider was offering a 45-minute special at an unbelievable rate.  When I got there, I was quite nervous for some reason (had been out of the scene for a long time) and we sat down and talked.  She kept talking, I made hints.  She kept talking, I started to get more 'comfortable'.  She kept talking and talking and talking and... well, you get the point.  Finally, I had to be very clear and almost tell her to shut up let's go.  So afterwards, as I'm preparing to leave, she's counting the gift in front of me and says "Wait a minute, youve been here for an hour, this is not my hour rate."  I reply, "If that is the case then surely you were talking for a good half hour at least, and I was very clear that I was here for the special."  She called the agency, and the guy on the phone sided with me.  Obviously this wasn't a new scam on her part.  She and the agency parted ways soon after that, and I never saw her again, for obvious reasons.

I have a few regular providers who always seem to be willing to allow a session to linger.  Suffice to say, I am upfront that I only want the hour, and I only bring hour-money (and maybe a nice tip) with me.  But, that what I like about these girls, that the session is over when it's over.  I am certainly perceptive enough to know when I have over-stayed my welcome but also perceptive of when she's having as much fun as me.  I could stop in the middle of that, put my pants back on and be gone, but that would be just as bad as disrespecting her time.

Frankly I have to give the guy credit - he managed to get both under your skin and inside your head.  

While there is no excuse for his acting like a jerk, I'm a bit suspicious that he knows EXACTLY what he is putting you through and is likely spending more time thinking about you than you will ever know.

Now if it were ME, I'd show up unexpectedly and shoot for an angry, passionate, full-on let-it-all-out session that leaves the flat in need of repair and that leaves you both breathless and spent!  And of course I'd leave a triple-donation, but then I'm funny that way.

Lord knows I love it best when things get scary deep and waay too overheated.  But then I may have 'issues'.
 
 -- DH