i been a very long time friend of ter and occasionally member as well
i  been posted some reviews of my experiences with some lady's.
recently i took the time to read this lady's website and decide to fill out her contact form.
which she never reply to my email as courtesy,
but she did have time to post on this board and tbd the lack of interest and strange emails, from her dc tour. so i wrote to her this email:
THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE TO MY EMAIL .. THAT WAS NICE!
NOW I NOTICE  THAT NOT EVERYONE IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.
WISH YOU LUCK IN YOUR TRIP TO NY.
YOU MAY NEED IT
as she reply :
HEY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE JERK-WAD, the world doesn't revolve around you. Interesting how you saw yourself in that reply. That's pretty telling! You have,  now added yourself to the list of creeps that responded to my post.  I wouldn't have seen you anyway.  Are you aware there are several DNS posts about you on the ladies board? DANGEROUS, they said.  Your nasty letter only confirms the info already provided there about you, and thanks I will have a wonderful time in NYC.  Many GENTLEMEN have requested, so not to worry hun. Now run along and write yourself a little revenge review.

That's me.......ROTFALMAO

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG TO GET THIS RESPONSE
AND IF I DID PLEASE ACEPT MY APOLOGIES

Black listed.. Sad but true, they have a site that list's their experience with the hobbyist. They post comments, reviews, and share all the juicy details - just like us.

What you've brought up might explain why some guys aren't getting a return call or responses to email.

It is important for the providers to have access to information which helps them stay safe and make the most of our experience from feeling comfortable. Sorry to say the information is private and by invitation only so don't ask where you can find it.

As for Dani - maybe she will read this post and comment. I enjoyed reading her site -

If it's maturity, honesty, graciousness and style you seek, then look no further for we at
Restoration exemplify what you are looking for in a companion.  In your search for the
perfect provider you no doubt want to find a lady who embodies the qualities that most
attracts you. Perhaps you desire a lady who is intelligent and thoughtful or one who is beautiful,sensual, and non-judgemental.

So, move on, hope to find someone that doesn't share her feelings about you, or has access to the database...

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Wishing all a Safe and Happy New Year 2006

-- Modified on 12/26/2005 7:37:47 AM

If you really want to know the truth, you might start by looking at your writing style. There are no grades being given out here for style or content. But how you write says a whole lot about you. Remember, whenever a new client contacts a lady, she must judge whether or not her safety is in jeopardy. Whether you like it or not, you are being judged by how you approach the lady.

If this post and your reviews are any indication of how you write your e-mails, I’d suspect that this could be a significant part of the problem. In short, you come across as someone who either is not from America originally, or that you did not complete High School. For some ladies, both categories represent high risk. It’s likely you were screened for that reason.

If English is your second language then you probably have a good excuse and may want to make apologies for lack of clarity in your e-mails within your message. However, if English is your first language… well…. you might want to break out a book or two on basic writing style. Or simply stick with those ladies who do not use e-mail. Sorry, I know that hurts but you asked for the truth.

I'm not trying to be mean-spirited here, quite the contrary. You asked for honest feedback. I just want to help. If you truly want to know the reason why she didn’t respond, I'll bet it's the way you wrote your e-mail.

Now how would I know all this? It’s because I have a number of provider friends who confide in me some ‘edited’ content of e-mails that they just can't believe simply because they’re written so badly. After I read some of them for myself (identities concealed of–course) I can’t believe them either. Now mind you, a lady doesn’t give a crap if you’re William Shakespeare or not. But she is judging whether or not she is taking a risk. Your post has some of the traits of those “screened e-mails” my provider friends have shared with me.

Here is some specific feedback. Your post is written more like an Instant Message rather than a letter. Some of the mistakes that were made here are; no-capitalization at the beginning of a sentence, poor grammar, incomplete sentences, no paragraph structure and finally, improper use of capitalization such as all UPPERCASE letters. The use of all caps is considered shouting in cyberspace and is a basic breach of netiquette. In short, a lady will probably judge you as either totally lacking of class or refinement. Considering this hobby and the clientele that some of these ladies must deal with, that says a lot.

As far as you being on a black list goes. That does suck. Sorry to hear that. You must have done something or do some things, that ladies don’t like. Referring back to some of my provider friends. Some of the top reasons they won’t see a client are as follows:

1)Too young. (provider dependant)
2)Too old. (provider dependant)
3)Unclean or poor hygiene.
4)Heavy or very bad dialect (Ebonics, Spanglish, Asian… etc.)

This list can get quite long but this is the short version.

Now realizing that few of us would ever win a beauty contest, including me. We can at least pay attention to hygiene. When I see a lady, I treat a session like a date. By that I mean I wear clean clothes, I’m freshly showered and shaved and above all, I make sure my breath is as fresh as I can get it. By that I mean I stay away garlic and onions that day.

Also, if you treated ladies in the past like a Whore, then don’t be surprised if you appear on someone’s blacklist. Remember, the Internet works in both directions. Where there may not be the provider equivalent of TER, they do provide references for one another.

I hope this is received in the spirit in which it is offered and that you do not take offense.

Does anyone know the site that providers has that reviews their clients?  Just curious if I have been reviewed.  I never knew a site existed about clients.

ex-NYorker has a very good informative post. The absolute worst thing you could have done was to take her lack of a response to you so personal. Maybe initially you said something that didn't go over too well with her. Instead of getting snotty with her you should have tried again, if still no response move on.  Now it's definitely time to move on. Don't feel bad, something worse is if you've actually seen one of the women that really appeal's to you and you can't get a return visit, that suck's. I'd be willing to bet that most of the guy's here who have hobbied a bit have at least once met one of the women that they were head over heel's for but the feeling wasn't mutual, (the women are probably laughing at that one). I've met a couple that I liked a lot but haven't had any luck seeing again, oh well. Even though it's disappointing as hell it's not the end of the world. Wouldn't it be great if every woman that you were crazy about was crazy about you. If that were the case I sure as hell wouldn't be here doing this. Some people click, some people don't, unfortunately that's life, don't take it personal. It happen's to everyone no matter how good looking they are, how funny they are, how much money they have, etc. etc. Just chill out and roll with the punches.

Look,I just got bad vibes from his original contact. Yes he took the time to open and start the RSVP,but only half completed the form. References were missing, time and date requests were missing,language applied, etc. I do have to make quick decisions based on writing styles, age, professions,TER/Dog handle to check reviewing style(which was missing by the way)only to hear for the first time here he is a member (I don't think it was an oversight)and yes sometimes cultural backgrounds. People can deny that they profile in business all they want, but it is a fact of life. I have a certain socio-economic group or mentality I work well with and they come in all colors. Two of my all time favorites (ATF) both super smart,successful, sexy as hell, are Afro-American. So race is not a factor. One works for the goverment and the other IBM. Both spoke several languages and are called "friend" or "buddy" by many quality providers up and down the Northeast. A simple search revealed just the opposite on this fellow. Most importantly, they do not post vulgar reviews or have to divulge personal communications in a public forum. They have an adult approach to life and business. Most can handle their own communication problems without having to whine about it to their wives, friends, or coworkers. In addition, I have spent enough time in recovery to know when someone is trying to shame me into seeing them ,or worse, trying to shame me so that others will not. In my world, I am the spanker, not the spankee. So consider yourself well spanked my friend. Take it like a man and MOVE ON.
I do thank the gentlemen who have come to my support here. I wish you all a very Happy New Year.  Be SAFE.  

Dani Delicious

-- Modified on 12/26/2005 1:28:06 PM

-- Modified on 12/26/2005 1:40:53 PM

After re-reading my post it looks as though I should break out those above mentioned references myself! lol  Run on sentencing, improper usage of grammer, etc.  There are times I do wish TER and theotheboard had a spell check system or WORD capabilities for proof reading. Well, I bet that Webster had an editor too.
Maybe we can all chip in and get TER one for Christmas next year.

Be of good cheer!

Dani

Or it wouldn't be private. It's simple - they share much like we do. But it wouldn't be smart to open this data to anyone. And as I understand it, the providers are not named.

If you aren't getting return calls, emails, or apologies for full schedules with every provider out there - it might be a sign..

Treat the ladies well, and don't worry what they think of you. It's all for fun, pleasure, entertainment, and fantasy fulfillment - so don't bring that down by pondering what others have said about you and what you review rating might be - LOL...

Just be happy to know - it's Not MarilynsDiary reincarnated...

Well stated... I hope this experience is a lesson many can learn from. Now for being the Spanker and not the Spankee - ohh nevermind hehehee

Well Slip, being the single mom of a precocious 6 year old, all it usually takes is "the look". I would not describe our friend as precocious, so he missed "the look" and I couldn't find "the shoe" so I had no choice but to "spank". lol

How real is that - funny, almost all kids understand "The Look". Yet most adults have lost that ability to read "The Look". All my kids understand "The Look" when it comes from me. However, they don't get the same with the SO - it's straight to spankin - LOL - because it's fun to be spanked by Mom.

I wouldn't challenge you with "The Look" However, I am curious about the spankin - so I just might :OP

Maybe the fact that you are an EX New Yorker explains it all, jon..lol  You have raised many interesting points which we hobbyists can either glean from a thread like this, or endure learning through the "School of Hard Knocks".

 This may be a business, however it is a very UNIQUE business wherein "clicking", "chemistry" and "crazy abouts" factor in greatly and must NOT be overlooked.  I had gotten caught up with the normal business basics and importance of customer service.  I don't recant that this is STILL very important.  However, the "clicking" part is and will remain integral to this business and must not be overlooked.  Most ladies have the luxury of so many "takers" that they can choose to see only those with whom they enjoy themselves.  Of course, hobbyists do the same.  Both are ultimately in the best interests of everyone involved.  YMMV being what it is, the best experiences will come from those with whom there is some mutual "clicking".  

 On this issue, I feel there are two different "camps" regarding how providers handle those with whom they don't "click".  In the first camp are those who feel that the direct approach (telling the particular hobbyist that his or her company is no longer desired) is too blantant, hurts too many feelings, and can cause certain recriminations.  In the second camp are those who feel that common courtesy (along with customer service) dictate that the direct approach SHOULD be used.  Otherwise, the hobbyist is left to waste his or her time with emails, voice mails, and the like until they just somehow "get the idea".  Ironically in the process, I have observed that certain providers then perceive that the misguided individual involved is some sort of "stalker" (when all he might be trying to do is find out the truth).  It would appear (from my experience and many of the posts on this board) that the majority are in the first camp.  

 From my many posts concerning this and similar topics, it should be obvious that I am in the second camp (for the reasons I have all ready mentioned).  It may sound like "sour grapes", but from my observation it appears that most folks have "still not left high school".  It takes some GUTS to tell the truth.  It appears the "members" of the two camps will just have to "agree to disagree".

But there are limits. And my original post was intended to point out that sometimes we forget the obvious. Capital letters are free so why not use them?

er.... is that Capital or Capitol.... I always forget. But then a again I went to PS 196. Not much to be said for a school system that can't even come up with names for their schools. LOL

However, you refer to Jon Swan as being an ex-NYorker when in fact he may not be - ex-NYorker is an alias member who has posted previously..

So, you are in the second camp. You would like a provider who doesn't want to see you have the guts to say so? Would you expect an explanation? Would you want that explanation detailed or be satisfied with it being information posted to a provider’s database? Of course you wouldn't argue the validity of this information - or would you?

And would your observation of most folks are still in High School include yourself? See, I agree with that observation. I sometimes feel like a kids in High School who was lucky enough to win a date with the most desirable girl on campus - I just hope she knows how to fake or mask her feelings about me being that I paid $$$ for that lottery ticket - LOL...

But I guess if you are part of that other camp it’s ok if you show up and the provider has the guts to tell it like it is and be real. She doesn’t have to fake it, just take it. I guess this works for both as I doubt you would repeat, unless you like that open honesty - LOL

Happy Holidays Ponz – when are we getting out for a beer to continue this discussion?

I agree that this gentlemen should have gone back to Dani to ask why she responded to him in the manner she did, instead of posting on the board. However, I think it should also be pointed out that she could have been a little more professional in her response to him. Sure, he sent what I consider to be a slightly rude sarcastic email, but I believe her rude name calling response escalated the hositility beyond where it should have been. I think if she had simply explained why she did not want to see him, as she did here, or just ignored his email the issue would have just died.

I don't think either party was completely right or wrong in this situation. It does seem though that with these types of conflicts the first reaction of most guys is to jump to the ladies defense. If the roles were reversed and the gentlemen sent an email response to Dani calling her all types of names I don't think we would have seen the same type of posts.

Let me point out of few things to you.  
1. This man has a history of writing nasty reviews and emails with hostile tones and threats. This is why he has been posted as a DNS. Apparently, I read him right because he couldn't wait to post edited personal communication on a public board in an attempt to discredit me.  
2. Go back and read his post again. Does it occur to you that some communication is missing?
3. My website clearly states that contact forms missing important information will not be considered. Period
4. With the exception of this man,I returned all mail with requests properly filled out and informed them of changes to my schedule.

5. I don't take that kind of #&*% from anyone. I'm sure you don't either. I wonder just how you would handle yourself when you feel threatened. Which I did.

With this, I'm done on this subject.

As I mentioned, I agree that he should not have made the communication public. You were 100% within your rights not to respond to him or to respond to him that you did not care to see him (whether you told him why or not). However, from the information supplied here it appears that your name calling inflamed the situation. I have had some bad clients, who I delicately drop, and some individuals that I have refused to work with. However, I typically don't elect to respond in the manner you did.

From the information posted here I do not see why you felt threatened, although for the first time you mention that not all communication has been supplied. If we have not been privy to complete information then perhaps none of us should be commenting on the issue.

a jerk.

Maybe it's because I grew up in NY, but confronting someone who is behaving like an asshole doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Yes, I realize that in some parts of the country any kind of confrontation can be considered rude. But in my experience, assholes are a lot like bullies, they tend to go away when confronted.

I remember during the eighties - pre-web - forums consisted of BBS and USENET. There was a document floating around the net that talked about various items regarding Netiquette. One that sticks out in my mind is how to deal with a flame in an open forum. The advice was to articulate your side of the story which usually resulted in that person shutting up after a few retorts. The thought processes there was that an intelligently worded reply to somebody's off-topic or rude postings usually would rally the community in favor of the person being flamed. Since those days, my experience is that this generally works.

This thread and Dani standing up for herself feels much like those old USENET days. I think she did the right thing by sticking up for herself. Both here and her original e-mail.

If other providers have a problem with this guy? Well, as the saying goes... "All the people can't be wrong".

I didn't want to say it in my earlier post but since more data has weighed in, it's become pretty clear that this individual has achieved some major mis-deeds. As we all know in the hobby... this community ain't that big a place where you can hide. TER and the Internet are making it a smaller place. I think the lesson that this person needs to learn is to be courteous and kind whenever possible. Or at least use a different phone number and handle for each encounter... LOL

First I would like to say how much I enjoyed reading Dani's replies (of course someone I know will say that I'm sucking up to her - LOL).

But, here is a question, is the manner in which she handled this and words she used proper in business? In this business, it varies depending on how the hobbyist community likes the provider. In business and for those providers not well known or reviewed, it could cost them $$$ being so outspoken.

In any case, I've enjoyed this thread and discussion.

maybe a bartender or waitress might be subject to. By that I mean, no, Dani's response would not have been proper coming from a lawyer to their client. Even if that client were abusive. But I would expect that if she were a bartender and a customer were being rude, then she'd be entitled to the sort of retort she posted in her message. Since providers fall somewhere between the hospitality industry and the service industry, I would believe that their options of behaviour fall into the same category. That would especially be true of an independent versus someone working at a brothel.

But I'll bet that there are many who would disagree with that. I'd simply remind them that an independent provider takes far more risk than we as hobbyists do. That is now more true than ever since TER has minimized much of the risk for the hobbyist.

So that makes me Rude,Fiesty, and a bit of a bully at times! But I'm working on it, OK!? hehehe



-- Modified on 12/28/2005 4:39:32 AM

LOL, no I'm not an EX NYer, never been there, never really ever had a desire to go there. I was just trying to point out to the guy that everyone experience's rejection, deal with it without blowing a gasket. I too favor your camp two ideal and hopefully like you, and most other's, could handle it but unfortunately there are some who couldn't. As for the women, being so blunt and up front with someone who couldn't handle it could tend to be dangerous. One thing I've definitely learned is that regardless of a person's education, social status, blah, blah, blah, no one ever grow's up, they just grow older.

my only point was that indicating the Gentlemans mistakes in contacting you, as opposed to lambasting him, might have worked better. He irritated you and you responded the way you wanted to.

As far as ex-NewYorkers points, I am not going to reply to an alias.

If i take anything out of this thread -totally unbiased now-
1)Jc is correct in saying that people were pretty quick to jump to Dani's side
2)Dani got defensive pretty quick
3) Dani is getting alot of promotion here now- Good or bad ( its up to ones own individual to form that opinion )
4)It has serously sparked my mind about this other so called website... lol
No matter how much you really don't want to see this web site. There is just this part of me that is so inquisitive that want;s to see it ..lol

Does anybody have a link to Dani's website ?

Just a case of oil and water. The funny thing is, had I gotten together with riosa41,and we didn't talk,we probably would have had amazing sex! TALK,TALK,TALK! Let's change the subject.
Anyone get some yesterday? :-o

Happy New Year everyone.
I've attached my link. Enjoy

Dani Delicious

About the NYorker part, just makin' my usual attempt at a "funny", slip...~~

 As for the OTHER part, no explanation is necessary (but I wouldn't prohibit it).  I'm a big boy (in more ways than one)...~~  I wasn't talking in the context of someone I have seen once or twice, but rather repeatedly for extended sessions over the course of months.  After the very decent way I felt I treated the lady, I believed I deserved more than "the brush" wasting my valuable time and energy.  Just one man's opinion.  It obviously didn't jive with her's.

 In the future, I believe I will just discuss my "limitations" with the lady UP FRONT.  Then she can decide whether she even wants to see me at ALL.  I'll get less "dates", but I'll waste less time, energy, money, and drama that way.  

 As for the High School part, hAAaallle NO!  As you well know, I am still in KINDERGARTEN...  As for the BEER part, hAAAaallle YES!!!  That's part of WHY I am still in kindergarten....

Not from New York?  Well, good for YOU!! lol

 I see your assertion about the "dangerous" part.  I know there is a bit of a "tightrope" involved here.  Hopefully my reply to slipry addresses most of your assertions.

 Of course I grew up...and then OUT! lol  Oh yeah, the older part TOO....

You have got mail

I just submitted the form. Im not shure if i filled it out corectly. But i guess we will see ha ..lol
Look  forward to the oppurtunity of possibly seeing you

LOL, didn't we all.

Re:You have got mail

Hey tan one! Yahoo downloaded your request TODAY but after reading it on my Berry I can't find it now. Bummer.  I guess most people missed the point that I cancelled my DC tour. It was the reason the whole thread started.  Thanks for the interest though. Maybe in the spring.
Big kiss
DD